JANUARY
Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: Happy New Year to all of my amazing readers. Glad you're still enjoying this story.
It was late on Sunday night when Elsa came out of her room, dressed to go out. Calleigh and Horatio looked at each other. They hadn't thought to address rules about this yet because it hadn't been an issue. Elsa had never even asked to go out at night before, much less attempted to do it. "I'm going out," she said quietly. "I'll be back soon."
They looked at each other. What was this?
Calleigh spoke first. "Sweetie, it's a school night, and it's past your bedtime. You shouldn't even be up now. What's this about?"
She shrugged. "No big. Just wanna go out, see my friends."
Horatio looked at her. "Sweetheart, it's too late on a school night. I'm sorry, you can't see your friends this late, and I'm pretty sure most of them are in bed asleep. We can get something together tomorrow after school, if you want." He was studying her openly now, his instincts on full alert. This wasn't right.
"I'M NOT A BABY!" she screamed at them, tears streaming down her face, and then she stomped out of the room and they heard her door slam shut.
Calleigh looked at Horatio, and he looked back in shock, equally perplexed. That wasn't Elsa. It just wasn't. They couldn't understand it. She had never done anything like this before. She was only eleven years old. As far as they knew, she wasn't even interested in boys. She was still in elementary school for Christsake!
Horatio stood. "I'll go." He knocked on her door. He could hear her crying inside, sobbing like her heart would break. "Honey, can I come in?"
"NO! I don't want to talk to you."
He stood there, conflicted. He wanted to barge in there and demand that she tell him what was going on. He wanted her to trust him. But he also knew he had to earn her trust. "Elsa, I want to help. Whatever it is, you can talk to me. You're not in trouble. I'm not mad at you. I just want to help you. When you're ready to talk, I'm here. Any time. I love you, honey, and nothing, nothing will change that."
He heard her sob harder, and sighed. This was very hard, but he knew he had to leave it up to her. He went back to sit with Calleigh, and they promised to keep an eye on her. Something was wrong; they needed to figure out what it was.
ooooo
Horatio was at a scene when his cell rang. Instantly he thought of Elsa. He had left a message for her teacher but hadn't heard from her yet. "Caine."
"Lieutenant Caine, this is Pamela Sorenson from Palmdale Elementary. I'm calling about your daughter, Elsa. She was reported truant from class after lunch, and the security guard found her in a state of undress underneath the bleachers at MacMillan Junior High." He already knew that the two schools were adjacent to each other, a fact that he'd never liked. His heart felt like it stopped for a long, harrowing instant until it started up again and began to beat frantically in his chest.
"Was. She. Raped." He ground out of his clenched jaw, knowing that if he didn't get himself under control somebody was going to get hurt. And the last time he'd seen red had nothing on this time. He really felt like he could kill someone right now. And his daughter needed him to be in control. He took deep breaths and forced himself to relax.
"No, Lieutenant, I don't think so, I think Officer Reynolds interrupted them before anything could happen. Elsa won't talk to us, so we can't ascertain what happened. We know she left class of her own volition. The young man fled the premises and can't be found, but we'd really like to get her side of the story, and she won't talk to us. I'm afraid she's just—shut down." The woman glanced worriedly to the hysterical girl in the corner of her office, crying and shaking.
"Of course she's shut down, Mrs. Sorenson, she was assaulted."
"Well, sir, we don't really know that yet, but I assure you—"
Horatio forced an icy calm into his voice. "Where is my daughter now?"
"She's right here, sir, in my office."
"Please keep her there until I arrive. I'll be there shortly. Please make sure you don't contaminate my crime scene, Mrs. Sorenson. I'll be bringing my investigators with me, and I will ascertain whether or not a crime has occurred."
"I promise you, sir, that's not necessary. We will handle—"
"I will handle it. And, by the way, I'll be bringing my wife with me. I guarantee you I'm not the one you need to worry about." Ending the call, he turned to Eric. "I'm sorry, but I've got an emergency. Do you mind finishing up here on your own?"
Eric shook his head. "Not at all, H. It's cool. What's happened?"
Horatio's eyes were grim. "My daughter's in trouble."
He was already in the Hummer when he got Calleigh on the line. "Cal, where are you?"
"I'm at the lab, Horatio. What is it?" She knew that tone of voice. It was the tone that meant that someone on the wrong side of the law was going to have a very big problem, very soon.
"Can you get away now? It's Elsa, Cal. I'm pretty sure she's been assaulted. I'm on my way to the school now. I need you with me, please." To keep him from killing someone, he didn't have to add. He knew she already knew. "Is there anyone free to come with you? I'd like someone to examine the scene while we're dealing with Elsa and the school personnel."
"I'll bring Ryan."
"Perfect. I'll see you there."
They arrived at the same time, and Horatio told her what he knew, which wasn't much. He wanted her to deal with the principal while he tried to talk to Elsa, and then they'd switch off if they needed to. Calleigh squeezed his arm as he met her eyes grimly. They both knew that anyone who had hurt their little girl was going to be in a world of hurt, very soon.
Mrs. Sorenson met them at her door. "Lieutenant Caine, Detective Caine." She'd worked with both of them before a few times, and had seen them often since the school year had started. They'd been very involved parents already, and the teachers had spoken highly of them and their children.
Calleigh spoke for both of them. "Is there someplace else we can talk? I'd like my husband to try to talk to her first."
Mrs. Sorenson nodded. "Of course." She nodded to her closed door. "Go on in, Lieutenant."
Horatio opened the door, hearing her sobbing before he walked in. It sent a chill through him, and then he saw her, curled into a ball, rocking, crying, and shaking. He took a deep breath and let it out. He knew he needed to be calm if he was going to get through to her. Finally he spoke. "Elsa? It's Dad. Are you okay, honey?"
He was amazed that she lifted her head immediately, her eyes huge and haunted. Shocked. She looked at him like she'd seen a ghost. "D….D…Daddy?"
He smiled gently. "I'm here, sweetheart. Can I come in?"
She was on her feet in a heartbeat. And then her arms were around him, clutching him desperately. "Daddy, ohmygod, Daddy, I thought you were gone, I thought he'd killed you. He said he was going to kill you." Her relief was a tangible object. She had a woman's suit coat over her shoulders, probably the principal's, he thought. Her face was streaked with dirt and tears, and her shirt was ripped, but other than that she looked okay.
"Who, sweetheart?" Her eyes were still huge and frightened. He wanted to shout, to demand, to get that name at any cost so he could kill the fucker, but that wouldn't help his little girl right now. The little girl who still thought she was tainted, unworthy of her family and their love. She needed him to be her dad right now, not Lieutenant Caine, so with supreme effort he pushed all that anger and rage into a little box and shoved it down deep inside where he could get to it later. Holding her close, he focused on her and on letting her know that he loved her and wasn't upset with her.
"I'm so sorry, Daddy. He said he'd kill you if I told. I was so scared. I… I didn't want to do what he said but he said if I didn't he'd tell everyone. And if I told you, he'd kill you." Her eyes squeezed shut, and when they opened again, they were full of pain, and far too much self-loathing for an eleven-year-old child. "He knows, Daddy, he knows who I am. And what my… he…" She shook her head hard, her tears flowing again without her permission, her eyes finding his again and this time unable to look away. "I don't understand how you can love me after what he did. I can't believe… I…"
Horatio needed to sit down, feeling as if he was being pummeled by blow after blow. He'd gambled and lost on this one. He'd thought she'd never have to know what her biological father had done. He'd thought he had plenty of time to have this particular conversation, but apparently some asshole had beat him to it. He sat down, pulling her gently to sit next to him, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head to rest on his shoulder. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry you had to go through this all by yourself." He looked into her eyes. "I never wanted you to know, honey. I was trying to protect you from all of that. We've always known, Elsa. It's never mattered to us. How did he find out?"
Elsa was slowly starting to relax. She had always felt safe with her dad, and this was no exception. She felt so stupid now, not trusting him, but she'd been so sure that Connie had been telling the truth, that he'd kill her dad if she told. And to find out that she was the daughter of the man who had killed Marisol… she had wanted to die. Part of her had thought she deserved whatever pain he would give her, that she deserved to suffer. She surely didn't deserve her father's love. She just couldn't tell him. She hadn't seen any way out. "He said his dad told him, that he used to work for him. Memmo Fierro." She shivered.
"Who is this guy, honey?"
"Connie. Conrad Westman, Jr. He's an eighth grader." Shit. That rang a bell. Miami was far too small sometimes.
"This is what last night was about, isn't it?" he asked gently.
She nodded. "He said I had to meet him, or he would tell everyone. He said I had to give him a… a… blow job, and after that I would have to… do more." She looked up at him in tears. "I don't even know what that means."
He closed his eyes, for just a second. He couldn't let her think this rage was for her. Okay. Opened then.
"What happened when you didn't show up last night?" he asked her, calm and patient, his eyes gentle on hers.
"He came to the school at lunchtime. He said he came to collect payment and if I didn't go with him he'd kill you. He showed me the gun. I believed him. And then when we were there… I just… I just couldn't do it. I screamed, and I scratched his face, and I kicked him. Between his legs. Like you showed me. And then the officer came and Connie ran away." She looked up at him. "I thought he had gone to kill you."
"Sweetheart, I'm the adult. I'm supposed to protect you. I've put away men much meaner than Connie Westman. I know you were trying to protect me, but next time, will you trust me and come to me?"
She hung her head. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I was so ashamed, and it hurt so much to know what my… he… had done. I didn't know how to tell you."
"Elsa. Elsa, look at me." His eyes were clear and open on hers. "You are not him. You did nothing wrong. You are a good girl and a good person and a wonderful daughter and your mom and your brothers and sister and I love you, just for you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, honey, but honestly, I wish you never had to know." He and Calleigh hated lying to their children, for just about any reason, but this... he'd have happily taken this to his grave and never lost a moment's sleep over it.
She wrapped her arms around him, her face buried in his chest. "I love you, Dad," he heard. "I love you so much."
He held her and let his eyes close as the force of his relief nearly overpowered him. "I love you, too, sweetheart."
ooooo
Horatio opened the door and let in Calleigh, Ryan, Mrs. Sorenson and Officer Reynolds. Also standing there was Robert Williams, the principal of the junior high school. Ryan had already pulled up Westman's record, and it made for very interesting reading. The kid had done a little bit of everything. He was sixteen years old, in the eighth grade, and one step away from prison. His father, Horatio recalled, had been a small-time document counterfeiter that had worked for a time with the Mala Noche and Memmo Fierro, who had done time and was currently out on a suspended sentence, and supposedly working a nine-to-five job now.
Ryan looked at Horatio after he'd finished processing Elsa: her clothes and what was hopefully DNA under her fingernails. "Frank's looking for both of them now. He's on his way to the father's place of employment."
Horatio nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Wolfe."
They sat, and Elsa repeated her statement, and listened while the principal told her that this shouldn't ever happen and that it was very important to tell someone if anything like this ever happened again. Elsa nodded, still subdued, and wouldn't leave her father for a second. He shook both the principals' hands and the officer's, and they left together. Putting Elsa in the back of the Hummer, he turned to Calleigh.
"Thanks for being here," he told her, and she smiled.
"I had to make sure you didn't get yourself arrested, handsome," she said sweetly. "I want you to come home to me tonight."
He smiled. "I will definitely be coming home to you tonight. I'd like to take her home now. I don't think she's going to be letting me out of her sight for a while. But I want to talk to Westman myself, so maybe I'll just bring her in with me when Frank finds him and she can hang out in the office."
Calleigh nodded and kissed him. "I'll see you later. You're okay?"
He nodded. "I am now."
ooooo
Kyle sat motionless on the hard park bench, watching the kids on the swings without really seeing them. He was thankful his brother and sisters weren't old enough to get themselves into real trouble yet as he pondered everything his friend had told him.
Jon was a good guy. They'd served together, had reenlisted together, but Kyle had made the decision to get out of the Army first, in large part because he'd found that he'd had a true family to come home to. Jon had finally made the same decision, even though his family wasn't quite the warm and nurturing one that Kyle's was, and he'd just recently come home, only to find out that his family was in trouble, and hadn't wanted to worry Jon when he'd been overseas. Now his little brother was in too deep with a very nasty drug cartel, and Jon couldn't see a way out of it. He was contemplating going to work for the bastards to get his brother out, and had come to Kyle as a last resort. He'd thought of Kyle because he'd known of Kyle's own criminal past, and thought he might still have some connections.
But Kyle's mind had instantly gone in another direction. He wouldn't go back to that life, not even for a friend who'd had his back countless times when it had mattered. His own survival depended on it; he knew that. But he couldn't just let the guy get himself killed. Instead of his own connections, he was thinking now of his parents'. As devoted to the law as he knew both Calleigh and Horatio were, he also knew that they saw life in the many shades of grey that it often came in, not just the black and white that many of those who didn't know them well suspected. Contrary to public belief, his dad wasn't some holier-than-thou goody-goody cop. He'd lived too often with the grey.
Recently his father had told him of his own childhood, and that it was a big factor in the decisions the man made with his own children, himself especially. He would never make the mistakes that had forged him into the man he was, but he would always be there for his own children, good, bad and ugly. And he knew his stepmother-his mother now, for all intents and purposes-felt the same.
Sometimes you had to walk on the dark side to get to the light.
While the part of him that had taken care of himself since he was a boy didn't want to trust another living soul with Jon and his family, the other part-the new part-knew that he could trust his dad and Calleigh with anything, and knew also that they would never reject him, never turn him out for his part in doing the right thing, or for doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. Still turning it over in his mind, he implored his friend to wait, and to give him a chance to figure this out.
ooooo
The house was quiet when Horatio went to find Elsa. He was giving her time but he didn't want to give her too much. He found her in the great room, in front of the wedding picture on the wall of himself and Marisol. He stood there quietly, feeling his heart cracking into pieces as he watched her lift a finger to the woman's face in the picture, touching it carefully, reverently. "I'm so, so sorry," he heard her whisper. He approached her slowly, like he always did, making enough noise to let her know he was there. She looked up at him, and he saw the tracks of her tears had dried. She smiled hesitantly. "She was beautiful, wasn't she, Dad?"
He smiled. "That she was." He took her hand and they went down to the beach together, walking without talking, watching the surf and the waves. "My mom used to say that when God closes a door, He opens a window," she said, and he had to smile at his daughter. "Do you think that's true?"
"Yes, sweetheart, I do. I really do."
ooooo
Conrad Westman looked up when Horatio came into the room. He sighed. He really didn't want this man as an enemy. "Look, I didn't know what the little bastard was up to. I'm just trying to keep him outta jail, ya know? He's been in foster care while I was inside, and now he's just a criminal. I'm tryin' with the kid. I've got a job. I'm trying to stay clean."
Horatio couldn't have cared less about any of that little speech. He leaned over the table menacingly. "Why did you tell him about my daughter, Conrad?"
The man paled. "Honestly, I don't remember doing that. I must have been drunk. I didn't know, Lieutenant, I swear to it. I didn't put him up to it."
"I'm going to find your son, Conrad, and I'm going to charge him with assault, extortion, and whatever else I can think of. As an adult. And you, Conrad, are going to be charged as an accessory. Where the both of you are going, you might actually see more of each other than you do now."
His head was already shaking. "I didn't know. I swear it. I didn't know what he was going to do."
Horatio clenched his hands on the table until his knuckles were white. It was either that or smash this fucker's face in. "You. Told. Him." He drew himself up to his full height, and snarled, "Plus, I'm not real happy to have you in my neighborhood, Conrad."
The man smirked at that. "Section Eight housing, Lieutenant. What are ya gonna do?"
Horatio cocked his head to the side, his smile cold and predatory with just a hint of teeth. "Actually, Conrad, there is quite a lot I can do. Don't try me." His eyes were hard and cold as ice as he leaned over the man. "I. Will. Ruin. You. Do you understand?"
Conrad Westman nodded, his pale face the picture of reasonable helpfulness. "I can help you find him."
Horatio stood back up slowly. "I thought you might."
In the corner of the room, Frank Tripp stood silently with his arms crossed, barely refraining from heaving a relieved breath that he wouldn't have to restrain Horatio from violence. He was here at Calleigh's quiet insistence, and he was actually pretty damn proud of his friend right now. Lord knew if their positions were reversed and it had been one of his girls, it would probably take half the detectives in the building to hold him back. Needless to say, once they got a hold of Junior, Horatio wouldn't be receiving an invitation to the party.
He thought of Natalia and bit back his smile. And here he was, at his age, starting over. And that reminded him…
He waited for the officer to escort Westman out, and then turned to Horatio. "Hey, are you staying?"
Horatio turned to Frank, seemingly as calm and unruffled as ever, even as he fought to keep his pulse rate slow and even as he had been for the past several hours. It was easier now that he had the information he'd been looking for to find the little bastard. "No, I'm going home, Frank. Elsa's waiting for me in the office and I'm going to take her home. Why? Did you need me?"
Frank rolled his eyes in embarrassment. He was no good at this kind of thing, but this was Natalia, and he wanted to do it right. "I never took a lunch break, and I want to get Nat an engagement ring. I was hoping maybe you could help me pick one out."
Horatio stopped short, looking at his friend with a grin. "Well, it's about time. Be nice to get a ring on her finger before your kid goes to college."
Frank looked affronted before he realized that the guy was joking. With Horatio Caine, you never really knew. "Well, I still have some time, but I would like for her to be my wife. I think we're both ready, and you know me, 'Ratio. I'm an old-fashioned guy. I'd like for us to be married before we have the baby."
Horatio smiled at him, more genuinely this time. Frank's personal code was one of the things he valued most in his friend, and he was pretty sure that Natalia Boa Vista felt the same. As nervous as he knew she still was about becoming a mother, he also knew that those reservations had nothing to do with Frank. She loved him completely, and Horatio had no doubt that she would be delighted to become Mrs. Frank Tripp. "It would be my honor, Francis. Do you mind if Elsa tags along?"
"Not at all. Wouldn't hurt to get a feminine viewpoint, and Nat adores that little girl."
"The feeling is mutual, believe me, for both of you." All of the kids loved Uncle Frank and Aunt Nat. "She'll love it. You ready to go now?"
"No time like the present," he retorted gruffly. He needed to get this done before he lost his nerve, and before the woman woke up and realized she could do better. So much better. He was just getting to the point where he thought they could possibly last forever, but he had never taken having her for granted. He still thought she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and tried to show her that every day.
"All right. Let me just get Elsa and we'll go." He found her in his office, staring at one of the framed photos he kept on his desk, and it made him smile. It was just his girls in that one, identical wide smiles on their faces after a particularly enjoyable shopping trip, and it was one of his favorites. You could see the love that all of them shared so clearly, as well as their love for him, as those gorgeous smiles had all been directed at him as he took the picture. There were so many good days now that it was easy to let them overshadow the bad, and he had never regretted making that a new habit. Letting the past stay in the past left him room for so many wonderful new memories, and none of them would have been possible without Cal.
She had changed him, so much, for the better, and he wasn't going back to what he'd been before. What he had now was just too good. And even after the day they'd had, he wouldn't trade any of it for anything. The two of them together, with their friends and family for backup, could weather anything. He truly believed that now, and it had taken him enough time to get here. He appreciated his family every day, every minute, and he knew he wouldn't ever take for granted what they had together.
He made plenty of noise opening the door and coming into the office, making sure she knew he was there and had plenty of warning. He had always been careful to do that with her, and he figured today it was especially important. They wouldn't dwell on what had happened today, but he knew they'd be dealing with the fallout for a while, and that they'd get through it together. She looked up at him with a ready smile, and he was once again amazed by the resiliency of children. "Hey, Dad," she said with a smile, lifting the picture even as her gaze went back it and her smile widened. "I was just thinking of that day."
He went over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It was a great day," he said, looking at it with her. He made a mental note to point it out to Cal sometime soon, as he had seen her anxiety increase day by day as having a baby became more and more of a reality in her mind. He wanted her to know that she had nothing to worry about; she was a natural mother and he thought that 99% of their kids' happiness could be directly attributed to her: her contagious joie de vivre, her equally contagious smile, her love and enthusiasm for everything she did, but specifically her love and enthusiasm for all of their children. As well as for him. She made all of their lives better just by being a part of them, and he resolved to tell her that tonight when they were alone. And as often as he could.
"You ready to go?" he asked her when she set the frame carefully back onto his desk. He liked that she felt at home here, that she felt comfortable enough to pick up anything she wanted, that he wasn't an authority figure to her, even here; he was just 'dad.' It still sent a little shock straight to his heart, and he thought it always would. Hoped it always would. It was a role he never thought he'd play, and was so beyond glad that he had. And that, against all odds, he seemed to be doing a fairly decent job. Like everything else, he had Calleigh to thank for it.
"Yeah, but if you need to stay longer, I'm okay here." She really wanted that guy in jail. She didn't think she'd sleep well until he was.
"I got the information we needed, sweetheart, and now it'll be someone else's job to go and pick him up." His patience could only stretch so far; he knew damn well if he ever saw that kid he'd do something that would end in handcuffs. On him. So he was finished with it. "We'll get him, sweetheart, and he won't ever hurt you again. But until we do, you're not leaving my side."
Elsa turned her face into his shoulder, embarrassed by her tears but just so glad for him, just so glad that he understood and that he was here for her. Right here. "Thanks, Dad." He could barely make out the words, but it didn't matter. He already knew.
When she looked up at him, he smiled. "Now, you and I, young lady, seem to have some time on our hands, so what do you say we play hooky for the rest of the afternoon?" She giggled at his mock-formal tone, and he smiled again. "Uncle Frank needs some help picking out just the right ring for Aunt Nat, and after that I could really use some ice cream. You in?"
Elsa Caine just grinned and nodded. She was so in.
ooooo
Calleigh was worrying again. What had they been thinking? When could they find time to take care of a baby? She didn't have any idea how to take care of a baby. When she told her husband of her concerns, he just smiled. "I don't think you'll have a problem, love. You're an amazing mother." This was the moment of truth for her, about the same time of the miscarriage in terms of weeks, and she was getting jumpy. They'd agreed not to tell anyone this time until after the first trimester, not even the kids, and she hadn't realized just how difficult that was going to be. She thought that telling everyone about the miscarriage had been more traumatic than the event itself. She knew her friends and family meant well, but she'd just wanted to put it behind her, and the questions and their sympathy that followed had been excruciating. She'd wanted to print it on a T-shirt and be done with it.
Horatio wrapped his arms around her. It was late, and they were lying in their bed together, unable to sleep, and it had been easy enough for her husband to pinpoint the origin of her disquiet. "We'll just love him, or her," he said quietly. "Anything else we need to know we can Google." That made her laugh. "And if all else fails, I'll retire and you can run the lab and I can be home with our kids."
That got her attention. "No, Horatio, that's not the answer. You love your job. It's your life. You are that lab."
He looked at her and smiled in that way he had that just melted her. "I beg to differ, sweetheart. At one time, maybe, but not anymore. You are my life now, you and our family." He picked up the picture frame on his nightstand. "This is me now," he told her, and she smiled. She loved that picture. It was all of them on the beach with the ocean behind them: the two of them with their arms around each other, Kyle, looking relaxed and young, with his arm around a smiling Elsa, and a grinning Austin and Patti in front of them. He slid her nightshirt up and kissed her small belly lovingly, his eyes searching out hers, warm and intense. He wanted her to know that he was serious. "It was my life because I needed to atone for my sins, Calleigh. I was so driven because it never seemed to be enough, not in my mind. But now, I think I've done enough. I'd like to think I've done enough to earn this, to be worthy of your love, and that of our children."
She pulled him up into her arms. Oh, Horatio. "You have. You do, every day. Just by being who you are. Just by loving us."
She kissed him sweetly, slowly, wanting to show him just how much she loved him. "I'm so glad you did this," she said, her hand sliding on top of his that was still resting lightly on her belly. "I would have gone without it, for you, for our family. Last time I felt so guilty, that I was pushing this on you when you weren't ready, when it wasn't what you really wanted."
"I want this with you, so much. You are my life now. Everything I am, everything I do, it's all for you."
"I know. You show me every day. You are the most amazing man, Horatio Caine." She smiled, tracing his features absently with her fingers. "You know, I'd really like to have a little boy just like you, with red hair and blue eyes, and your beautiful smile." She could see him in her mind, this little rowdy boy bounding into her arms and disrupting her life completely, and above all filling her heart with love. She could see Horatio teaching their son to play catch, and ride a bike, and drive. He was so amazing with all of his children, and she could still see the hurt that lived in him, that he had been robbed of Kyle's childhood, that he hadn't been able to be around for all those years, and she wanted to heal that pain for him, or at least soften the sting.
She saw the smile in his eyes as he looked at her, his hands moving over her face now and into her hair. "Ah, sweetheart, but I'd like a little girl, just like you, with blonde hair and your beautiful green eyes, with all of your compassion and your fire and your absolute joy of life."
She laughed. "You already have two girls that you're going to have to worry about chasing the boys away from with a shotgun. Don't you think they'll give you enough to keep your hands full?"
He smirked. "I think you'll have to be the one with the shotgun, beautiful. By the time they're in high school, I'll probably have one foot in a nursing home." He was joking, but she knew there was some truth to his words; it was a worry that still hadn't entirely left him. She still had work to do on that front, she thought, leaning to kiss him sweetly.
"I don't think so, handsome. I think they'll keep you young."
"They do that. And you do a pretty good job of that, yourself."
His hands had already begun to wander, and she had to bite her lip to stave off a moan at the pleasure he was already giving her. "My God, Horatio, you are a machine."
And he was already moving over her body, devouring her like his favorite ice cream, slowly and with great delight. "Only with you, sweetheart. Only with you."
ooooo
She was in the parking lot after a checkup, a boringly normal and routine checkup that had bolstered her hope, when she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Well, if it isn't Calleigh Caine. How are you, baby?"
Calleigh turned with a smile already on her face at the familiar voice.
"Alexx! Long time, no see!"
Alexx Woods smiled warmly, taking in the sight of her friend looking so lovely and happy. It was wonderful to see. She was clearly taking well to her roles as wife and mother, as Alexx had known she would. "What are you doing here on a workday, sugar? Nothing wrong, I hope?" It had been a while since there'd been cause to meet her former team members at the hospital, and she was glad of it.
"Oh no, everything's fine. Just a routine visit, and Patti's class has a field trip to the zoo today, so I'm off to join them." Alexx looked at her and thought she looked more radiant than usual, her creamy complexion practically glowing with health. She gasped. "Calleigh, honey, are you pregnant?"
Her first instinct was to demur, but she knew she couldn't lie to Alexx. She smiled. "I am, but you have to promise not to tell anyone yet. We're going to wait until after the first trimester to make it official." Because they'd learned their lesson on that one.
"You have my word, honey. Oh, I'm just so happy for you and Horatio. I'm so glad you changed your mind." Calleigh's mind flashed back to their conversations, and her own refusal to even consider trying again.
Blushing at the memory of how her mind had been changed for her, she laughed. "Well, I didn't. Someone changed my mind for me. Or, rather, took the choice out of my hands."
Alexx laughed. "Now that sounds like him. I hope you didn't punish him too harshly."
"Well, I couldn't very well hold it against him, considering it was something I wanted so very badly. He knows me so well, Alexx. It's unbelievable sometimes."
Alexx smiled again. "You know you're a very lucky woman to have a man that fine. It's plain to see that man is head over heels for you."
"I am very lucky."
"And he is, too." Alexx beamed at her, so glad that they had finally found their way to each other. "How are those adorable children of yours?"
"They're doing well. We all are."
"Well, I'd better get to work. It was great seeing you. We need to get together sometime soon." Calleigh smiled and hugged her. "Definitely."
She was still smiling as she unlocked her car and headed to the zoo.
ooooo
Calleigh had had an extremely enjoyable day playing mom with her youngest daughter at the zoo. Of all the roles she'd had in her life, this one had to be her absolute favorite. She smiled, recounting conversations with Patti's classmates and her teacher. She had volunteered herself and Horatio to come up to the school when Career Day rolled around, and she had no doubt that her husband would take to the idea with as much relish as he did anything else that had to do with their children. He was much like a kid himself in the gleeful exuberance with which he had thrown himself into being a father, and the fact that he was good at it hadn't surprised her nearly as much as she thought it had surprised him. He was pretty great at anything he set his mind to, she thought, and parenting was no different.
She was in the kitchen cooking dinner with Elsa and singing along to the radio when Kyle walked through the door, an uncharacteristically pensive look on his face. Immediately she stepped back and turned off the radio. "Hey," she said, unable to keep the concern out of her voice. "What is it?"
"I need to talk to you," he said quietly, and she nodded immediately.
"You got this, honey?" she asked Elsa, and her daughter smiled serenely.
"Sure, Mom. Go ahead." She accepted Calleigh's kiss on her cheek with a fond smile and no trepidation whatsoever, and the fact that being touched no longer seemed to bother her filled Calleigh with a deep pride and warmth. So strong, so resilient. But then, all her children were. She walked with Kyle out onto the back deck, wanting nothing more than to erase than frown from his features. He was so much like his father that it gave her a pang. So loyal, so caring. So ready and willing to take the weight of the world on his shoulders. And she had seen firsthand how well that had worked out for Horatio. She wasn't about to let it happen to this boy, not if she could help it. She listened as he told her about his friend, and the mess he'd come to Kyle with, feeling nothing more than the weight of the trust Kyle was putting in her by coming to her with this. Her mind spun with the possibilities even as her hand reached out for his, seeing the worry so clear on his face.
"Hey," she said, not wavering until his eyes returned to her. "We'll figure this out. Let me talk to your dad and we'll decide how to proceed."
"Are you sure? Dad won't be happy and I..." He swallowed hard. He knew how protective his father was of Calleigh. He didn't want to lose all the ground he'd gained with his father, with his family. And he sure as hell didn't want to put Calleigh in danger.
"Hey. We're in this together," she said firmly. "We're family. This is what family does."
"It's too dangerous, Mom. I don't want you or Dad hurt because of this." Because of me.
"Hey. We're pretty dangerous ourselves. Trust me," she said quietly, and he nodded. He did. That was never in question.
ooooo
It was a beautiful day. Horatio sat in the grass at the cemetery, watching his daughter talk to his late wife. She had asked him about her, and he had tried to paint a picture for her so that she could know the woman Marisol had been. It seemed to help her, and he wanted for her to be able to come to terms with this and move on. He liked to think that Marisol would have wanted the same. Elsa traced her fingers over the headstone and looked over at him.
"Delko?" she asked, and he nodded.
"She was Eric's sister."
Elsa looked surprised. "I didn't know that." And then she looked stricken. "Was Eric very mad at you? When you brought me home?"
Horatio smiled at her gently. "No, he wasn't. He was happy for us. Happy something good came out of it." He reached over and took her hand. "He told me that Marisol would be happy for us, happy for you. And you know what? He's right. She would be. She would never blame you for what happened. Sometimes I can almost feel her, smiling at us, even more so now that we have you. It's just another way to honor her memory, to keep living and making the most of every day we have. To put aside the pain and for something good to come out of it, just like Eric said."
Still she stared at him. "That's how you see me? As something good?" Not as an unwanted responsibility or obligation. It was still so unbelievable sometimes, and he understood exactly what she was feeling.
He smiled. "Of course, sweetheart, always." She returned the smile, albeit tentatively, and he knew it was a start. One day she would believe it.
ooooo
Calleigh let herself in quietly, sighing with exhaustion. It had been a very long day. The wonderful smells still in evidence told her that her husband had cooked tonight, and they had probably eaten hours before. There was no sign of anyone in the kitchen, and when she stood in the middle of it and looked through to the living room, she had to smile fondly at the picture she saw there.
Horatio sat with Elsa at the piano, giving her patient instructions while his mother smiled serenely down at them from her place on the wall.
"Can we do it again, Dad?" she heard Elsa ask, not in frustration but in determined anticipation. That made Calleigh smile. He was such a good teacher, such a patient and loving dad. It made her fall in love with him all over again, every single time.
"We can go through it a few more times, sweetheart, but that's all we'll have time for. Your mom will be here soon and we don't want to spoil the surprise."
Oh. Oops, Calleigh thought, fading back into the kitchen before she could be spotted. She had had no idea the two of them were working on a surprise for her, but the fact that they were came as no surprise. Her husband never failed to come up with new and creative ways to show her how much he loved her, and their children were always on board with his plans. The bunch of them made her feel so very loved... so very cherished. Never in her life had she thought she'd ever have a family like this, who made her feel so very blessed to have them in her life. Tears threatened and she pushed them back, even as she quietly let herself out the front door the way she'd come in.
She sat on their front porch alone for a few minutes, long enough both to give them a chance to wrap it up and to give herself a chance to get her own emotions under control. She'd give herself away if she started bawling for no apparent reason.
When she finally went back into the house, making plenty of noise this time so they'd be sure to hear her, the happy greeting they gave her made everything inside her go warm and gooey.
ooooo
Horatio sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair yet again, and then scrubbing them over his face. He didn't think he'd slept at all in the four days since she'd told him. How in the hell had he let her talk him into this? And that wasn't hard to figure out. The woman could talk him into anything, and she knew it. The real question was how she'd managed to talk him out of being a part of it.
Plans had gelled quickly with the DEA, and it had been simple enough to get the go-ahead to send Calleigh in undercover, especially since the DEA had long been interested in that particular organization and were only too happy to have someone willing to go in. He didn't like that it was his wife, but it wasn't like they'd had a choice. A woman would be trusted more than a man, and Natalia was too visibly advanced in her pregnancy. Calleigh was formidable undercover; his rational mind knew that, but everything in him that was male and protective and possessive screamed that it could've been anyone but her. Should've been anyone but her. And now, their baby.
And this was Calleigh Caine they were talking about. The woman didn't hear the word no, especially when it came to her family. A warm rush of pride flooded him as he thought of the look on her face when she'd told him of the conversation she'd had with Kyle. The glow on her face that he'd trusted her, that he'd come to her. It meant so much to her, that trust, and even as he knew that she'd die for any one of their children, a part of him hated that too. Even while that was one of the reasons he loved her so terribly much. She was his. He couldn't live without her.
But he knew he couldn't have it both ways. So he'd tamped down on the alpha-male neanderthal that had wanted nothing more than to lock her in their bedroom until this whole thing was over. It wasn't like she'd stay there for long anyway, he thought with a laugh. His bullet girl wasn't one to trifle with. But there was no way in hell he was going home until this was over.
He tried to work, tried to eat the food Nat and Frank had brought him, but it turned his stomach. He couldn't seem to focus on anything, and there was that part of him- the part of him that had always thought in the worst-case scenarios that had made up his life for so long - that was afraid this would finally be it. The day his luck would run out and his life would be over. Because without her, it would be.
He must have fallen asleep there at his desk, because when he jolted awake all he knew that his angel was standing there in front of him, in a stance reminiscent of the night that had started it all, her eyes warm and soft as she looked steadily at him.
"Cal," he breathed, the relief, hope, love and awe all there on his face and in his eyes and the combination of all of them together made her heart crack a little the way it did every time he made her realize just how much he loved her.
"Hey, handsome," she told him, bracing her weight on her hands on the desk in front of him as she leaned over to kiss him. "It's over. Walk in the park."
Closing his eyes, he kissed her gratefully, just so thankful to have a reprieve from losing her for just one more day. And all too quickly it wasn't enough for him, and he was out of his chair and around his desk, taking her in his arms and holding her close, needing her closer and not separated by anything at all.
Calleigh held him tightly, just as happy to see him as he was to see her. She pulled back to kiss him again, and he returned it enthusiastically, just as passionately as she already was. And then she must have winced from the pressure he was putting on her jaw, because he felt it, and drew back instantly. "Cal?" he asked, and she smiled, because he was just too cute.
"I'm fine, Horatio, it's nothing." His sharp eyes missed nothing, though, and zeroed quickly onto the faint bruise that had already begun to bloom on her jaw.
"Not nothing," he argued mildly, and she just rolled her eyes.
"So he got a lucky shot in. I guarantee he'll be singing soprano long after it's gone."
Still staring at the bruise, and then running his eyes and fingers over all of her skin that he could see, he nodded finally. "Good."
And she knew it wouldn't be enough for him. He needed to see every inch of her, to know that she was truly okay, and she didn't begrudge him that. She was the same, with him. She kissed him again, and then took his hand. "Take me home, handsome," she told him in her sultriest tone, watching his eyes darken without conscious thought, as he quickly got on the same page.
"After you, beautiful," he said smoothly, holding the door for her even as he shut off the light and followed her at the door, a proprietary hand at the small of her back. It was impossible to keep the grin off his face.
ooooo
The younger kids were already in bed when they arrived, but Kyle had waited up, and his relief that Calleigh was all right was surpassed only by his gratefulness for what she had done for him. He hugged her tightly with tears in his eyes.
"Thank you, Mom," he said over and over. "Thank you for taking care of my brother."
"Your family is my family, honey," she told him gently. "You know that. Besides, Jon made sure you made it home to us, so we owe him more than we can ever repay."
He didn't have anything to say to that, so he just kissed her cheek reverently.
She looked at Horatio once Kyle had gone to bed. He was still staring at her like he was afraid she may disappear at any moment. As hungry as she was for food, it could wait. She knew they both needed something else first. Smiling the same smile that had captivated him back in his office, she took his hand, bringing him to his feet with her and into her arms for a long, slow, deep kiss. Finally she forced herself to pull away, smiling knowingly into his beautiful eyes that right now shone with emotion.
"Take me to bed, Horatio," she told him. He smiled, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss her palm reverently. He had no words right now but thankfully, he didn't need them.
In their bedroom with the world locked out, Horatio had to smile at his wife's eager impatience as he undressed her slowly, taking a slow careful inventory of every inch of her body as he moved over it with aching precision. He didn't want to miss any little part of her tonight, wanting to adore every bit of her, and he did.
Her nails dug into his shoulders as he painstakingly mapped his way across her body with his lips and teeth and tongue, enjoying every little sound of pleasure that dripped from her lips. It wasn't until she began to beg in earnest that he decided to get serious.
Much later, collapsed bonelessly together, breathing each other's air and basking in the closeness that neither of them could get enough of, Horatio had to chuckle when he heard his wife's stomach growl loudly.
He kissed her forehead. "You should have told me you were hungry."
Her smirk was that of a woman completely satisfied, both with herself and him. "Oh, I did."
TBC...