Chapter 7:

Prompt by: YJ-Lover

When someone gives you 'the talk' or tells you about 'the birds and the bees'

Characters: Richard and Bruce!

Thanks for the reviews, faves and alerts guys. They mean a lot.

*UPDATE* MY REVIEWERS POINTED OUT THAT I WROTE ALBERT INSTEAD OF ALFRED FOR THE BUTLER! THANKS SO MUCH. I DUNNO HOW I MISSED THAT!

Thanks for all of the ideas too!

I own nothing. Enjoy!

It was one thing he hadn't been expecting.

In honesty, a rainbow coloured ninja spraying the room with a love potion would have been much more predictable than what Bruce...tried...to do.

It had been a simple evening meal; the dynamic duo had just returned from a ruffle up of some thugs, and were just about finished with their food; in fact, Dick was already contemplating on whether he should leave to go to homework instead of eat desert at that moment. He stood up, lifting his plate, and grunting a small 'Thank-you'. He however, didn't get the chance to move even a centimetre from the table- a firm hand grabbed his shoulder. Bruce.

The man looked worried about something, in fact the butterflies that were obviously roaming in his stomach, we're flying out of his nose. He was pale, and quivering, and only because he looked desperate, Dick decided to take his seat once more.

"Can I help you?", Robin's voice rung through the large dining room, filling the void of silence that usually accompanied their meal-times. Bruce tried to smile- Robin cringed- it was a look that could shatter glass. One of those 'kill me now' kind of faces.

The man took a stuttered breath, and gazed at his adopted son. "There comes a time, in every teenager's life-"

Robin instantly turned beet red. Batman knew that he was dating Zatanna; and that meant only one thing. He stared in shock at Bruce Wayne, who was sweating, and had started mumbling. "Bruce...What are you...doing?"

The protective parent, however, needed deeply to get it out of his system. He took another rugged breath, and tried once more to start a conversation with his 'son.' "You see, Dick. Sometimes, people, especially teenagers, well, they go through emotions, well...of course they go through emotions, but...h-hormones...something like that, well, they...and..." Bruce trailed off; he sure seemed weak when he wasn't in the suit.

Robin was panicking; surely this grown man was aware that Robin was thirteen. School had spoken to him about this stuff when he was still an innocent Grade 5, and then again when he was a 'going through a phase' Grade 6, and even that year, when he started his Freshman days- as a warning of what was to come.

But Bruce didn't seem to know. And so, sucking in the air around in, the man tried again, gritting his teeth. Robin was sure that Bat's was pep-talking himself. He could just imagine little dancing Bat-mans inside Bruce's mind, with giant #1 foam-fingers, chanting that 'he could do it'.

"Dick, as you get older...erm...well, you'll start wanting to...explore the wilderness in a way. So speaking, that wilderness being girls...and exploring meaning..." Bruce blushed, and Robin gripped the table, in utter shock. He was actually feeling uneasy. He hadn't even noticed that Alfred has strode into the room with tea.

The Butler strode over to the confused Batman, and the petrified Robin. "Tea?"

Of all the times the man could've spoken- he decided that when Robin was already mentally scarred, and Batman was in a ruin was perfect, and Dick wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Thanks, Alfred." He whispered, he received a smirk in return. Bruce stood up from his spot, and awkwardly tip-toed out of the room. Robin had defiantly had enough of adults for the day. He decided that doing homework was now a complete must, Zatanna would be coming over to the manor within the hour; he needed to get something done before they met up with the team for Pizza.

He was stopped in the same way as before, by Alfred, who winked at him, "I'm not gonna tell you much of what you already know, Master Richard."

Dick breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. Adults always had a way of making things blow out of proportion, and become uncomfortable if they were given the chance- at least from what the Boy Wonder had grown up around.

Alfred smiled, and patted Dick on the head, and came too close for comfort to Robin's ear; "When the time comes; Use a condom." Albert turned on his heel, as if oblivious to what he'd just told a thirteen year old boy.

Robin decided homework could wait. He slumped onto the floor, eyes wide. He was never going to scrub those words out of his mind, or the whole experience. He realised that the talk was actually helpful; it'd once again put him off girls, and trying anything until he was married. He shut his eyes, trying to laser away the image of Bruce and Albert...

Zatanna could wait.

Actually, every single girl in the universe could wait. And if they couldn't; well the Robin sure as hell would.

There we go. I felt awkward writing this; but then again, I didn't completely write down everything going through my mind at the time so...I hope you enjoyed?

Review please?

Thanks for reading,

-qlf