Gonna be short: I know Santana was dumb, she's learning and people don't fully change overnight. I think she does much better in this chapter though.
Happy Valentine's Day! My gift to you is a rating change, mostly for some more explicit language, and some fluffy Brittana goodness.
Love you guys!
P.S. It's long, I got carried away…I'm not sorry.
JUNE
Night 2
Santana is fully aware that she has done a lot of really foolish things in her lifetime.
Take for example, when she was fourteen her and her best friend at the time, Elispeth whom preferred to be called Elle, decided it would be a really good idea to play "Hey Mister" outside of a liquor store a couple cities over. Elle was sixteen and thus already had her license, and regardless of the fact it was completely illegal for the two of them to be in the same car together, they still dressed in their most mature looking clothes and did up their make-up exceptionally well, letting them both easily pass as eighteen at the youngest.
Santana was relegated to play the roper, since she'd always possessed more charm and was exceptionally skilled in the task of flirting. By the end of a two-hour period, the girls had procured a bottle of Vodka, a bottle of Tequila, and a fifth of Jameson. Santana didn't particularly like whiskey, but it was a popular choice to bring to the local high school parties-which they had fully intended to do.
The girls never managed to get the alcohol further then the backseat of Elle's white Mini Cooper. The older girl's father found it the day before the party she and Santana were going to take it to when he did a routine check-up of his baby girl's car.
Santana wasn't there when Mr. Kavanagh found the bottles, or when he questioned Elle about them. All she knows is that one day Elle is her best friend and is going to be there to help usher the Latina into her Freshman year at McKinley High and the next Elle is calling her and telling her that her family is moving, without shedding even a single tear. They lost contact not long after that.
To make matters worse, Santana later found out that Elle conveyed to her parents that the Latina had been apart of the whole alcohol situation, laying full blame on her and the Kavanagh's, being heavily religious people, immediately chose to remove their daughter from the bad influence of the less than religious girl. Knowing that Elle could do such a thing, despite the fact they were supposed to be 'best friends', tore Santana apart more then she could ever understand.
Sometimes the people closest to you are the one's you least expect to hurt you, but if they do hurt you, that feeling is always a thousand times worse than any you could ever imagine.
Santana's done a lot of foolish things in her life. Many of them have been futile attempts to bring little bursts of pleasure to her life. Little hope rays of sunshine.
Like the medical procedure she begged her papi for the summer between her sophomore and junior year of high school. What Santana wants though, she often gets. Sure it made her image more appealing, but did it do anything for her self-satisfaction? No, not so much.
Then there was the time not too long ago where she thought the thrill of sticking it to that haughty sales clerk at Nordstrom, by stealing the clothes the woman told her she didn't deserve, would bring her any real satisfaction. Foolish. Because all it got her into was more trouble.
Granted the trouble did spawn the amazing acquaintance with Brittany, but as luck would have it, Santana, once again, has made a fool of herself.
Brittany has been nothing but kind and thoughtful and caring to her. So patient and gentle and understanding. She's been nothing short of perfect, and absolutely wonderful. And Santana took that and she threw it back in Brittany's face by bailing on the girl once again after getting so close to finally letting go of all her insecurities and just letting her heart lead for once. (She really thought she was following her heart, but it turns out her heart just wasn't strong enough at the time.)
Foolish should be Santana's middle name, and doesn't she know it.
Sometimes it's hard not be foolish when that's all that you know.
"Santana what the hell!" Mike yells out through the foyer as he comes barreling into the Lopez mansion. He's never really had a thing for boundaries, meaning he doesn't have any at all, and Santana is still on the fence about how she feels about that. She doesn't reply to the boy, he'll find her soon enough.
She can hear Mike stomp the whole way up the staircase but she doesn't flinch at the sound. She's emotionally exhausted and unstably panicky. She feels as though there are two parts of her brain that control her actions in different situations and the scared, fearful, insecure one keeps on creeping up on her whenever she's with Brittany.
This time it wasn't even a fear of kissing, or being seen. In fact, Santana was very much enjoying the kiss. Almost too much she thinks because she was about to do something else, which she wouldn't have normally initiated if it had been a boy she was kissing.
It wasn't a boy. It was Brittany. And it had been perfect.
That was until Brittany unknowingly brought up past memories of regret for the brunette. The words hand been so kind and heartfelt, but all Latina could think about was how her 'influence' had once destroyed another friendship in her life. Sure, she had never felt for Elle as she feels for Brittany, but that's what makes it so much worse. Sometimes first wounds cut the deepest.
All Santana can think about are the 'what ifs'. What if she's not enough for Brittany? What if all her issues and problems and shortcomings make the blonde want to turn the other way and run? What if she can't be the person Brittany thinks she is?
It doesn't take long for Mike to reach her room. He has to admit, at first the single line text of I don't know if I can do this seriously pissed him off. But, the second he walks into the room, his once hard face immediately softens as he takes in the state of his best friend; she's sitting on the floor by her bed, knees tucked to her chest and arms wrapped around them as her face is buried in the crook of her elbow.
The last time Mike and the Latina had talked she seemed so sure of her decision to see what could happen with the blonde Brittany whom Santana had disclosed to Mike she was having more than just 'friendly' feelings for. He'd waved her off to conquer her fears and get the girl. He was so sure that she would finally become the Santana he truly knew existed under all that emotion armor she fronted on a daily basis.
Alas, and judging by the fact Mike can see a steady flow of tears still running down his friends face when she raises her eyes to meet his, things must not have gone too well. Mike sighs and makes his way slowly over to the Latina and plops down on the ground next to her stretching his long legs out in front of him.
"What happened?" Is all he asks before the girl becomes inconsolable and buries her face into the material of Mike's shirt at his shoulder.
"I messed it up." Can be heard mumbled between sobs. Mike reaches his arm around the girl and wraps it around her shoulder to consol her and pull her in tighter to his side.
"How so?" He inquires going slow and steady, knowing it's the best when approaching such situations with emotional Santana (which is almost as bad as Drunk Emotional Santana, but that's another story for another time).
It takes a few minutes but Santana manages to tell Mike everything about her day with Brittany. From the confessions, to the playful flirtation and finally to the situation that lead up to the incredible kiss.
"Everything was so perfect. And what she said should have been inspiring but instead all I could think of was what Elle had done to me. I didn't know what else to do Mike." Santana admits, her sobs having subsided but her eyes still full of tears.
Mike studies her for a second before he squeezes her shoulder a bit.
"Santana I hate to be all tough love and everything but that's just stupid." The boy tells his friend straight up and honestly. No boundaries, yeah Santana's beginning to form an opinion about that. She snaps her head towards her friend with a look of resentment.
"Hey! You're supposed to be making me feel better. Jerkwad!" Santana shouts as she punches Mike in the shoulder.
"It's called tough love for a reason, damn!" Mike shouts back feigning hurt as he rubs the spot upon his shoulder that Santana punched. The girl just shakes her head at him.
The two friends are silent for a few minutes. Santana only feels marginally better.
"I know I run the risk of getting punched again, but Santana you know I'm right." Mike finally speaks up and when Santana glances up at him she sees that he has his eyes squeezed shut, as if preparing for an anticipated attack.
"I know." She says back and Mike's eyes snap open and flit down to her. He now wears a look of complete shock. He never expected the stubborn, strong-headed, feisty Latina to concede so quickly. He decides he had better take this rare chance and roll with it.
"I don't know Brittany personally, but after everything you've told me about her and the way you have been acting since she met you, Santana, this girl is good for you. Don't let your past ruin the potential for your future. There's no need to be foolish." Mike tells his friend who listens raptly even though it stings a little to hear the truth.
Mike's right, Santana knows it, but she still doesn't know what to do about her foolishness.
The foolishness she knows not what to do with is what finds Santana curled in a ball in the corner of her parent's master suite, where she has been for the last three hours, ever since Mike's talk and his eventual departure.
Mike made a lot of good points, but ultimately it all comes back to the fact that Santana has accomplished the biggest damn foolish thing she's ever done. She's been thinking about it over and over again. How she ran away like a silly little girl from the one thing that's ever felt right in her life.
How she told both Quinn and Kurt, and herself, that she wouldn't intentionally hurt Brittany, and then she turned around and did just that. But it really wasn't intentional, it was an instinct reaction, but still, that doesn't take away the hurt.
Mike was completely right, and she was stupid. She hates that word but it's truly the only one that can be used to define her in this moment. Sometimes she wished she had the courage to just punch herself in the face. Except, that would probably hurt just a bit.
Instead of punching herself, Santana migrates to her parent's bedroom, and wraps herself up in her crimson duvet, curling into a ball next to the bed. This is where Maribel Lopez discovers her distraught and emotionally wrecked daughter.
"Santanita?" The petite Latina woman calls from the doorway as she spots an amorphous blob of red, shaped strikingly like that of her daughter, next to the bed. She hears no spoken reply, but a soft whimper escapes the blob and Maribel knows instantly that her daughter is hurting. She quickly enters into the room and takes cautious steps towards where her daughter lies wrapped up.
"Oh mija, qué pasa?" Mother asks daughter while placing a comforting hand upon the blob where she assumes Santana's head rests. There is slight movement, but no words are spoken at first.
"Duele mucho mami." Santana's voice can finally be heard, though it comes out weak and small, and it instantly pains Maribel's heart. It is not often that her strong, determined daughter ever acts so hurt or sad. Maribel knows that her daughter's 'bitch' attitude is just a façade, spurred by the atrocities of high school angst, bullying and a constant need to be on top. She knows that deep down, Santana is a wonderful person, but she is also extremely fragile.
"What hurts mi amor? Did you get hurt volunteering? Do we need to see your papi to fix you up?" Maribel further inquires now taking a seat next to the red duvet blob. Santana finally pokes her head out from under the cover and jerks back slightly in surprise at seeing her mother so close but then she falls into her mother's side who swiftly wraps her up in a loving and motherly embrace.
Santana shakes her head 'No' and Maribel's heart aches seeing the red rims around her daughter's eyes and the tearstains that run the length of her cheeks.
"My heart hurts mami." Santana finally chokes out, her voice raw from not being used to speak but instead subjected to numerous hours of sobbing and whimpering. The older Latina waits patiently for her daughter to explain herself. When she doesn't elaborate, Maribel decides to help her along.
"Is this about school?" She asks not knowing what could be going on in summertime, but you never know with kids these days. Santana shakes her head no.
"Volunteering at L.I.F.A.A?"
Santana nods her head yes.
"Is it about a boy?"
Santana shakes her head 'no' and her mother notices her nervously swallow. Ah, she thinks she has an idea where this is going.
"Is it about a girl?" Maribel then questions. Her daughter thinks that she is very subtle but the girl has been not so subtly admiring woman and their bodies since she was a little girl. She thinks that Santana doesn't realize it though because she is so forced to hide the true side of herself.
Santana hesitates for a second before nodding her head 'yes' to her mother's question.
"Mija, as much as I would love to read minds, that is something I unfortunately cannot do. Would you be so kind as to elaborate the situation for me. I'm here to listen, I love you and I'm not going anywhere." Maribel then tells her daughter as she takes her still shaking left hand and pulls in between both of hers, holding it lightly but with enough reassurance to ground the younger girl.
Santana takes a deep breath and studies her mother's face only finding truth and sincerity. She turns away for a moment afraid the tears will return. Her mother and her used to be so close when she was younger and then high school caused Santana to drift away from her mother's need. Through it all though, she realizes her mother never gave up on her. For that she is forever grateful of.
"You know at first I hated the idea of even volunteering at the animal shelter, I was so mad at papi for forcing me to." Santana begins and her mother chuckles.
"Yes Santana, that was not hard to distinguish." She tells her and Santana frowns, Maribel just chuckles that much more.
"I'm sorry mija, please continue."
Santana huffs and raises the back of her hand to her cheek to rub away the now mostly dry tears.
"Truthfully, for the most part, L.I.F.A.A. is still not my cup of tea. Most of the people there are abhorrent, and so annoying," Santana says with a roll of her eyes, her mother chuckles at her daughter's antics, knowing that she is at least partially joking.
"But there's one person, Brittany, who just makes everything so much better. She doesn't just make it bearable, she makes it fun and exciting and it doesn't even feel like I'm actually being forced to volunteer at some animal shelter. When I'm around Brittany, it feels like I'm supposed to be there. I want to be there and she makes me a happier person." Santana then breaths out, a small smile gracing her lips at the words, as images of the blonde's own beautiful smile filter through her mind.
Maribel rubs her hand across her daughter's back, her heart expanding as she watches the look of adornment spread across Santana's face. She thinks it is a wondrous occasion to see her child fall in love. Though, the older woman suspects her daughter has yet to realize just how enamored she really is.
"She seems wonderful mija, and if she is the reason that you seem so much lighter and carefree these days then she truly does sound like a special individual. In all that though Santanita, I still don't quite understand what the problem is." The older Lopez tells her daughter truthfully, feeling as though she is still missing something.
Santana is floored that her mother is taking this so well. Granted, she's only disclosed her fondness for Brittany in a manner that could be considered platonic, but still her mother remains, ready to listen. She better just tell her everything, and she does.
She tells her about the dance, and the almost kiss and the sadness and confusion that followed. She tells her about the playful and flirtatious times she and Brittany share while at L.I.F.A.A, and how the blonde makes her laugh so hard sometimes that her stomach hurts. She tells her about walking away the first time and she tells her about today and how they…kissed and then she was reminded of the shit Elle did to her and how she walked away from Brittany again.
Santana tells her mother everything and anything, wanting to leave nothing out, wanting her mother to be able to analyze everything. She tells Maribel the truth about her feelings, even though she suspects her mother at least partially grasped them when the younger Latina confessed she'd been the one to initiate the kiss between her and Brittany.
"Mami I like her so so much. It feels like little mines are going off inside my heart whenever I'm around her or thinking about her. But what if this is all too much, too soon. We've only known each other for a few weeks. I'm scared to put my heart out there. And even then, I still don't really know what it means to put my heart out there. She's a girl, and I…" Santana trails off her words getting choked up in her throat as she falters on being able to fully explain. She still doesn't know what to label this, she hates labels, but she hopes her mother at least partly understands.
"Oh mija. You can't be scared of something like that. I know it's new and different, but sometimes putting your heart out there is part of the process. You give your heart to someone and if it's true and if it's right, they give theirs to you for you to hold onto." Maribel starts to explain to her daughter, hoping that if anything Santana will not be fearful of the unknown. It's hard sometimes but the end result is typically and greatly worth it.
Santana listens with open ears, she appreciates that her mother is not asking anything too hard or telling her anything too terribly deep.
"Feelings like that don't have boundaries, time and age, even gender do not matter-if two people are meant to be together then fate lays a hand. You can't worry about anything else because this is about you and Brittany and your happiness." Her mother presses on and Santana gives a little nod of understanding, her mind racing with the words and thoughts that go with them.
"Worry about all that other stuff later, if at all." Maribel then asserts. She pauses from her advice and looks over her daughter with great regard. She knows there are many reasons for Santana to be nervous about what liking another girl could mean, and the repercussions that could occur from other people if they were to find out (not all but enough to keep her daughter hiding). She never wants Santana to be too scared to express herself or not be true around her family. Maribel wants her daughter to know that her and her husband, Santana's papi, will always love her no matter what.
"Santana, I want you to know that regardless of whether you think you may be…a lesbian or not," Maribel starts and Santana's eyes snap back up to the matching dark brown of her mother's, it's like the woman took the thoughts straight from her very brain, "I need you to know that your papi and I will always love you and be here for you." The older Latina says and a new set of tears roll their way down Santana's cheek at those words.
She's heard coming out stories before, and though this isn't exactly a coming out, telling her mother the feelings she holds for a girl is no walk in the park. It's like a walk through one of the nine circles of inferno in Dante's Divine Comedy, it's scary as fuck and to have parents so accepting is more than she could have ever hoped or dreamed of.
"Thank you mami. I know sometimes I'm a real spoiled brat, but I really do love and appreciate everything you and papi do for me." Santana admits, though a partially difficult task, she knows it's for the best. Maribel laughs outwardly at her daughter's confession.
"Yes well, you are a Lopez." She says and the two woman smile at each other.
Though Santana feels gradually better there is still one thing on her mind, one concern that she is still hung up on and not quite sure how to deal with.
"Mami what do I do now? I've already screwed up so many times. Running away from her like I'm ashamed, but I'm not. Anyone would be lucky to have her, it's just I…" She says but trails off not quite sure how to put her thoughts into words. Her mother seems to understand though.
"We all make mistakes Santana. If Brittany is half the girl you describe, and she feels anything for you like you do her, she will forgive you and want to work things out. But, that is your responsibility to get the ball rolling. Apologize, make it up to her, do whatever you have to do to show her you won't do it again. She can trust you with her heart, if that's what you want, and you'll trust her with yours." Santana smiles at that. She never knew how truly emotionally inclined the great Maribel Lopez was.
"I want so much with her I don't even know where to start." Santana admits with a dreamy twinkle in her eyes. Her mother chuckles at the look upon her daughter's face.
"Well then you best get to it." She says firmly and pats the girl on her shoulder as if to get her to move. Santana smiles but nods, she knows her mother is right.
Suddenly she has an idea. She sits up from the floor and smiles down at her mother. With a nod Santana skips out of her parents bedroom and rushes up to her own room. After quickly cleaning herself up she changes into something comfortable but at least semi appealing (she hopes.)
She thanks her mother again before she rushes out to her car and calls a number she's never used before. The phone rings four times before someone picks up.
"Hey I need your help."
Fifteen minutes later, Santana is parked outside of Brittany's apartment building, at least she hopes this is the building. She goes over the address she's written down for the millionth time, before taking a few deep breaths and exiting her car.
She walks nervous and shaky towards the building, taking a glance at the letters tacked into the faded grey brick along the side of each one until she finds the letter she wants. She stops at the steps outside of building 'J' and looks up towards a balcony extended from the middle apartment, noticing an exceptionally large cat perched on the ledge seemingly glaring down at her.
Santana should feel odd that she is having a stare down with this very large tabby cat but for some reason she can't look away. She abruptly realizes that she has seen this cat somewhere before…oh yeah it's Brittany's cat Lord Tub something! The apartment has to be the blonde's.
With a smile at her good fortune, Santana enters the building area and is met with two sets of stairs, one leading up and one leading down, she looks up at a green door at the top of the going up stairs and finds the number 1002 fastened on there in rusty old metal. She checks the piece of paper with the address written on it. This is it.
Taking a deep breath, the Latina ascends the stairs to the door. She hates how clammy her palms feel. She hates how in about 10 seconds (or more depending on how long it takes her to actually knock) she could very well have the door slammed in her face. She really hates it, but at the same time she's hopeful and strangely giddy about the positive aspects of knocking.
Like seeing Brittany's face, and the girl not being pissed at her. Hey, girl can dream right?
Santana runs her fingers through her hair, hoping she doesn't look too ragged and lifts her hand to softly knock on the door (she supposes she could press the little door bell thingy but it looks so small and pathetic that she'd rather not bother) it's a few seconds before feet can be heard rapidly padding towards the door. The green door flies open and at first Santana doesn't see anyone, that is until she drops her head and is met with blonde hair and blue eyes-they're a little duller than Brittany's but you can still see the resemblance.
"Who are you?" The little boy asks, cocking his head to the side and eyeing Santana up and down.
"Umm I'm Santana, is Brittany here?" Santana says, majorly unsure of herself around this small child, but glad that the little boy nods furiously before turning his head to start shouting something. He doesn't get as far as actual words when Santana hears a voice she immediately recognizes call from inside the apartment.
"Tanner Lee! What did I tell you about answering the door, it could be a complete stran-" Brittany is shouting but stops the instant her eyes lock with Santana's, where the girl is still standing in the doorway. Brittany's brow furrows in confusion and her mouth forms a little "O" before her jaw locks and her eyes narrow and firm with what Santana can only describe as irritation.
Brittany does not lose eye contact with Santana the whole way to the door, and even when she addresses her little brother, she still has her burning blue eyes focused on the trembling brown ones of the Latina.
"Tanner, go back to your bedroom and finish getting ready for your bath please." Brittany says softly to the little boy. Santana notices, out of her limited vision on him, how Tanner whips his eyes from his sister, to her and back to Brittany. He tugs on the sleeve of the hoodie Brittany is wearing and after a few seconds Brittany finally breaks eye contact to stare down at the little man.
"Bri, she's really pretty." The boy whispers, in typical child fashion-that is to say he says it just below his normal voice, and more than just Brittany hears.
Santana's eyes widen-she wasn't expecting that-but she doesn't mind the fact the words draw a soft smile to the blonde's lips and she whispers, this time more quiet than her sibling, but still loud enough for the Latina to hear.
"I know T-man, now scoot." And laughs a little as the boy smiles, proud of himself, and then scampers off towards a hallway Santana assumes leads to the other rooms of the apartment.
When Brittany looks back up to Santana, her eyes are softer, but the Latina now realizes they are lined with a bit of hurt. Before Santana can say anything to the blonde, Brittany has her arms folded across her chest and is quickly in defensive mode.
"What are you doing here?" She asks, it's not harsh or biting, but the sharpness of the question deflates a little of the hope that Santana was harboring in her heart. She swallows and opens her mouth to answer but nothing comes out. Her eyes focus on the floor, and she notices that Brittany is wearing yellow socks with little green frogs on them, it makes her smile a little and regain some of her courage.
"I wanted to come and apologize." Santana mumbles, eyes still focused downwards. She doesn't hear anything from Brittany for a good solid few seconds so she curiously raises her eyes to undertake a cursory glance of the girl's face. She finds that Brittany's blue eyes are focused on her with attentiveness and her eyes are expectant of her continuing words.
"You seem to do that a lot." Brittany offers and Santana's heart falls a little bit more.
This is not going as smooth as she had pictured in her mind. She sighs and raises her shoulders in a soft shrug, no use denying Brittany's words-they are the absolute truth, and Santana knows it.
"I know Brittany, I know. But I really am sorry." Santana starts glancing up to look at the other girl again. She doesn't get to continue any side of her apology or explanation before Brittany is rapid firing words back at her.
"You can't just tell someone you have feelings for them, and that you like them a lot and then kiss them and make insane amounts of butterflies take flight in their stomach and crazy colors explode behind their eyelids and follow up by just walking away from them. It's not fair Santana because your words made my heart skip a beat and your lips are so soft and delicious but then you say you can't 'do this right now' and you have to get out of there and you just leave? That's not cool Santana it's hurtful. You hurt me, a lot." The blonde girl says both simultaneously making Santana's heart soar at her confession of causing the same feelings that appear in her own heart and mind when Brittany's around her while at the same time constricting because she never wanted to hurt the blonde.
Gathering every ounce of courage she possesses, the Latina reaches out to softly take grab ahold of Brittany' s right hand that otherwise lays limply by her side. Brittany doesn't refuse the touch, and can't help acknowledge the fact that a burning heat spreads like a wildfire immediately from the point of contact up her arm the second their skin touches. She's far too exhausted by everything else to shrug off the girl's hand and she finds that she really likes Santana's touch, even if her heart is torn between wanting to slam the door in the girl's face and pull her in and kiss her like crazy.
"Britt," Santana calls gently, attempting to get the blonde to make eye contact with her again, secretly reveling in the feel of the girls skin in her hand, it feels like she is holding onto one of those low emission electric fences, there's enough spark it won't hurt her but she can still feel the buzz all the way up her arm.
"Britt-Britt" Santana then calls and at this a small smile forms on the blondes lips and she slowly raises her eyes to meet the Latina's. Santana smiles back, happy to have the girl's attention, and she softly gives her hand a squeeze.
"I want to take you somewhere and show you something. I want to make it up to you and apologize for real. Please will you let me?" She begs in her most gentle voice. Brittany looks at her in consideration for a moment and pulls the corner of her bottom lip into her mouth, gently gnawing on it as she thinks.
Brittany looks almost happy, and possibly like she might say yes, but then the glow in her eyes fades and Santana's heart stops. She's going to say no, Santana's already screwed everything up too bad to fix. Brittany's eyes cast downwards slightly.
"I can't" is all she supplies and ever bit of hope extinguishes from the Latina's body, her hand falls limp from Brittany's and her shoulders slump downwards.
"Oh" is all Santana can manage to get out. She feels about ready to burst into tears and in an effort to not do so in front of the blonde she starts to turn away. She doesn't get more then a quarter turned when she feels Brittany's right hand running down the exposed skin on her left forearm. Santana's brow wrinkles and she glances questioningly up at Brittany, whom she notices wears a sad but soft and hopeful smile upon her pretty face.
"I can't because I have to watch my siblings until my mom comes home." She explains softly still and with a slight squeeze of the shorter girl's hand. Santana cannot help the look of elation that over takes her face. She is reenergized and hopeful for the best.
"O-okay…so maybe after? I can come back?" She says tentatively, not wanting to be too presumptuous but not giving up either. Brittany gnaws on her lip in thought again and glances over her shoulder, Santana suspects she's surveying the situation in the apartment.
"Or you could hang out here until she gets home, which should be in about an hour." Brittany suggests and the grin that appears on the Latina's face is big enough to be seen from outer space. (Or it could be if you looked hard enough.)
She nods her consent, excitement evident upon her entire face and radiating from her body.
"Okay, I'd like that." She says and Brittany smiles back at her, a little bit of her bubbly bounce returning. Stepping to the side, Brittany offers the other girl entrance, and Santana immediately takes it. Liking the fact they both wear shy smiles on each of their faces.
When Brittany asked Santana to help her out, she didn't expect the blonde would trust her to like watch the small boy child. But here she is literally watching him, as in not taking her eyes off him, as he splashes around in the bathtub dressed in his swim trunks.
"Do you like pirates?" Tanner asks throwing the Latina off guard. She looks up at his face from her cautious perch on top of the toilet seat. Her eyes are wide with a fear she cannot describe. How? How did she get sucked into watching such a delicate human being? She thinks this whole feelings thing for Brittany is getting her into a lot more predicaments than she would have ever expected.
"Uhhh sure they're alright." Santana supplies to the boy, not really sure what exactly you're supposed to talk about to a six year old. Let's be honest, she hasn't exactly had the best exposure to people younger than the age of thirteen. Even then, she would much rather just interact with kids her age, or like no one at all.
"I LOVE pirates!" Tanner yells out and it slightly startles Santana. Another thing she's never really been fond of whilst being around small children; their apparent inability to differentiate when they should use their outdoor voices and what not.
Santana just nods her head to the small blonde boy.
"My favorite is Cap'ain Blackbeard cuz he's got a really funny looking beard. Bri says that he has a beard like that cuz he didn't eat his green beans and if I don't eat mine then I'll grow a beard like that too! But I don't want a beard like that. I don't really know if Bri is telling the truth though." Tanner rambles on and Santana finds herself thinking what the boy is saying is somewhat adorable. He very much has the spirit of his older sister in him.
"Well I don't know Tanner, your sister's pretty smart. I think you should listen to her." Santana decides to offer, figuring what's the harm? No kid really likes green beans anyway, gotta try something.
Tanner bobs his head agreement.
"Yay, Bri is smart. I don't wanna have a beard cuz it won't look good when I grow up to be a'wesome singer." He then says splashing a toy ship around in the water. His words spike the Latina's curiosity.
"You want to be a singer?" She asks and Tanner's nods his wet blonde haired head rapidly.
"I wanna be like Justin Bee…Bay…Bi-bear." He says struggling a little with the name. Santana can't stop the cringe that forms on her face, nor can she prevent the sudden images of a bunny hopping, awkward hip thrusting Stan Nevans singing along to the song like he's something special. Santana shudders, that guy is useless.
"You don't want to be like him little man," Santana finds herself saying as she kneels by the bathtub and reaches in to scoop some water into her palms and drop it over the giggling boys head, keeping it out of his eyes.
"You should be like Jay-Z. Now that guy is cool." She then tells him and Tanner cocks his head to the side.
"Who's that?" He asks and Santana feigns astonishment, surely the little brother of dancing fanatic Brittany Pierce would know who Jay-Z is, but then again maybe the rapper's music is not entirely suitable for someone so young.
Oh well, she's gonna sell it anyway.
"Who's Jay-Z? Boy, you had better listen up because I'll tell you," Santana says slipping into her fake ghetto accent towards the end, appreciating the fact that Tanner will probably not call her out on it or make fun of her for it. She supposes little kids are alright sometimes. Santana clears her throat and picks out some lyrics from her memory.
"Welcome ta the melting pot, corners where we sellin' rock…home of the hip-hop. Yellow cab, gypsy cab, dollar cab, holla back-foreigners it ain't for, they act like they forgot how ta act." Santana raps out, making sure to throw in the classic wave here and there moves she knows real rappers drop (she's so gangster), it's how they swagger. (God, she just used the word swagger.) When she's done, Tanner stares at her jaw-dropped and wide-eyed. Santana's scared she went too far. But she left out the swear words and everything!
"THAT WAS… AWESOME!" The little boy eventually screams out, punctuating the last word and partly startling the Latina. In a second, Tanner is splashing up and down in the water singing the same lyrics, or what he remembered, and throwing his arms around like he had seen Santana do.
"Everything okay in here?" Brittany's voice filters in from the doorway and Santana turns to find the blonde, looking absolutely adorable in leggings and a loose top, her hair up in a messy bun but a big smile on her face. Santana grins automatically upon laying eyes on the blonde and her heart starts racing when Brittany's eyes flit down to hers, the taller girl's smile growing larger at seeing the Latina's dimples pop.
"Yay Bri, I'm gonna be the next Jay-Z!" Tanner shouts from the tub and Brittany's eyebrows rise to her hairline. She shots a questioning look towards Santana who gives a small shrug and a look of innocence.
"Is that so?" The blonde girl asks her little brother who nods furiously and hops over to fling his wet arms around Santana, who miraculously does not flinch away but instead wraps her own arms around the boy so he doesn't fall over and hurt himself.
"Yay, Tan sang him to me and he's awesome just like her and just like you so I wanna be like him now! Yellow cabs, gip-sy cabs…holla back!" Brittany cracks up at the activities of her energetic little brother, and Santana soon joins in after.
"Could you guys at least try to keep it down in here." Another voice filters in and Santana recognizes Brittany's ten year old little sister Jordan, whom she met earlier, walking past the doorway and rolling her eyes. Brittany giggles at her sister and turns back to the audience in the bathroom.
She pulls a goofy face.
"Oops, guess Sergeant Spoil Sport has laid down the law. Let's get you into some dry clothes T-man so you're ready for dinner when mom gets home." Brittany says stepping over to her little brother and wrapping her arms around him, while his are still wrapped around the Latina's. This effectively brings the two girls almost nose to nose, with a little blonde boy sandwiched between them.
"Hi." Brittany says bashfully as she glances over Santana's facial features, dooly admiring them, before she locks onto brown eyes that soften at her gaze.
"Hey there. Pretty lady." The Latina breathes out just as shyly, trying to keep the lightness of the mood, even though her eyes fail to not dart down briefly and stare at pink lips when she does. When her eyes move back up, slowly and with a hint of seductiveness, to lock onto bright blue, both girls grin wide at the eye contact. Then Tanner squirms a bit and kind of breaks the moment.
"I can carry him." Santana says, not really wanting to let the whole moment go all the way yet. Brittany smiles in appreciation and nods. They both stand up, Santana taking the time to wrap the small boy in a towel before she hitches him on her hip and follows Brittany into the bedroom at the end of the hall that Tanner and Jordan share.
Brittany changes Tanner into dry clothes while Santana, turned away to give them privacy, waits patiently. She is surprised when Brittany places her hand softly on the small of her back a few moments later and whispers into her ear.
"He's out like a light for now. Wanna go watch T.V?" She asks and Santana turns to her left to find Brittany's lips almost on hers. Her eyes flutter shut at the proximity but she swallows and nods slowly. She can feel the blonde's warm breath blanketing her jaw and cheek.
"Okay." Is all she manages to breath out before a gasp is the only thing escaping her lips when she feels the softness of Brittany's own lips push into the corner of her mouth, planting the smallest of kisses there and lingering for just a moment longer.
"Thanks for turning my brother into a thug by the way. Jay-Z really?" Brittany whispers to the girl while keeping the closeness. Santana chuckles and her eyes flutter open.
"Hey he snagged Beyonce, I think he's got enough game for your brother to look up too. Besides, thugs are always worth aspiring towards. Trust me, I know things. Thug life." Santana whispers back with a light-hearted shrug and a dusting off of her shoulders. Brittany smirks.
"Oh? Well I suppose you do have a point there. But you know what they say?" The blonde inquires as she skips away from Santana and pauses at the door to turn and face the other girl.
"Every thug needs a lady." She then says with a perfectly timed, and remarkably sexy, wink towards the Latina. All Santana can do is stare jaw-dropped as the blonde dances out the door, hoping that somehow Brittany might have been referring to them.
When Brittany's mom comes home an hour later, Brittany and Santana are sitting on the couch watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother. Brittany is particularly entertained by the antics of Barney, Santana just enjoys watching the blonde laugh. Suddenly though, she's nervous again. She's never really done well with the whole adult interaction thing. Most adults just see her as the rude, spoiled little girl of the prominent Lopez parents, they don't often take the time to look past that.
"Brittany, could you help me with the-oh hello." Mrs. Pierce says as she walks through the apartment door, two paper bags full of groceries in her arms, and spots the Latina standing from the couch with her daughter. Brittany skips over to her mom and takes one of the bags from her to put it in the kitchen. Santana stands, hands clasped in front of her, desperately unsure of what to do next.
"I assume you are a friend of Brittany's." The older almost identical version of Brittany says and the brunette's eyes snap up from their focus on the floor in front of her to connect with the blue-green of Brittany's mother. She swallows the lump in her throat, praying her voice will work.
"Mom, this is Santana!" Brittany calls as she steps from the kitchen and back up to the Latina, throwing her arm around her shoulder in an easing friendly manner, obviously trying to calm the tension in the room.
Mrs. Pierce's face lights up at the introduction of the girl she knows her daughter has been going on and on about the past few weeks. The girl whom Brittany is obviously quite smitten with.
"Ahh, so you're Santana. Britt, you weren't exaggerating, she is exceptionally gorgeous." Mrs. Pierce starts to say and both girls flush at the compliment, Brittany from embarrassment and Santana from elation at hearing that the blonde would have told her mother such a thing about her.
"Excuse my daughter's manners Santana, I'm Laura Pierce. Please refer to me as Laura or anything similar to that, but I don't respond well to ma'am, I'm not that old." Brittany's mother says and extends her hand towards the shorter girl. Santana glances from Mrs. Pierce's hand to Brittany who she catches rolling her eyes at her mother, before returning her focus to the hand held in front of her. She takes it finally in a firm grip.
"It's really nice to meet you…Laura." Santana says still completely unsure of herself. Brittany notices the Latina's hesitation and fidgety behavior, so she tries to help the girl out of the situation.
"Hey mom, Santana and I were going to go for a drive. Is that cool?" The blonde asks, her aim possibly involving an ulterior motive; spending private time with Santana, especially after her previous apology and declaration, tonight might just lead to more sweet lady kisses. And that is not something Brittany wants to miss out on.
The question would typically be blasé, Brittany has a tendency to spend as much time with her friends as possible, but Laura Pierce also recognizes the difference between signs of friendship and signs of lust, and her oldest daughter is displaying the latter in spades. The older blonde narrows her eyes and gives Santana a glance, judging her stance in the whole thing. She finds the same look on the Latina's face, one of adoration and splendor, and she knows both girls are feeling the same thing and seem to desire some privacy to figure it all out.
"You may," Laura begins to tell her daughter and Brittany instantly turns enthused and starts bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet right next to an also excited, though in a more stoically displayed manner, Santana.
"On one condition though," Mother Pierce then adds and Brittany's face turns blank, as if she just got told that she was going to Disneyland and then BOOM 'just kidding'. Not cool.
While not continuing her conditions for a few seconds longer than it would normally take her, Laura watches as that puppy dog pout that Brittany has mastered begins to form upon her face. She also watches, amused, as the Latina next to her catches the pout and her body language immediately reacts to show that she wants to make a smile return to Brittany's face.
Laura almost laughs out loud at that, it seems that the often referred to 'spoiled, rude, ungrateful' Latina is head over heels smitten with the older Pierce daughter. It's absolutely adorable.
"You had better be back for dinner. Nine o'clock no later. And no drugs." Laura finally lays out her conditions. Brittany's pout doesn't disappear.
"That's more than one condition ma, you should learn to count." Brittany deadpans and Santana's eyes go wide. She notices Brittany's mom's face is beginning to morph into one of opposition, looking like she is poised and ready to lay a verbal smackdown upon her daughter.
"I'll have her back here by eight fifty Mrs. P-…Laura." Santana suddenly blurts out surprising herself and both sets of blonde haired blue-eyed woman snap their heads towards the Latina. Brittany's mom studies Santana for a few concentrated moments before she slowly starts nodding her head.
"I will hold you to that Santana." She says to the girl before turning and heading into the kitchen. Santana releases a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and turns to look at Brittany. The blonde is wearing a look of complete excitement, with a subtle hint of admiration. Santana's chin drops to her chest in bashfulness and she feels her cheeks heat up.
"Come on thug life, let's go before my mom changes her mind." Brittany breaths into the other girl's ear before she brushes a barely there kiss to her cheek. Santana's grin spreads so wide across her face her dimples about pop off her face. Brittany giggles and takes her hand tugging her towards the door lightly.
The Latina is helpless but to follow.
The drive is silent. Santana is far too nervous to do anything but keep her hands on the wheel, two and ten, and her eyes on the road. She can hear Brittany humming softly in the seat next to her as the radio plays very quietly through the speakers. She's happy at least that the blonde seems comfortable and content.
When she reaches her destination, Santana pulls her car smoothly into the lot and parks in a vacant space. She glances over to see Brittany, still sitting comfortably in her seat with one of her long legs tucked up under her, curiously looking around.
"Where are we?" She asks her bright blue eyes focusing on Santana, who hasn't taken her eyes of the blonde. Both girls smile shyly when their eyes connect. Then Santana gulps and clears her throat.
"Uhh, it's a place one of my friend's owns. Come on, inside is where I really want to show you." The Latina says with an incline of her head towards the brick building she's parked in front of. Brittany smiles and nods.
"Oh wait!" Santana suddenly exclaims and quickly maneuvers out of her car and around to Brittany's side opening the door for her and holding her hand out for the blonde to grasp.
"Oh why thank you kind lady." Brittany says in faux proper manner and Santana bows her head.
"My pleasure, madam." She says in an equally faux, and slightly cheesy, French accent. As Santana assists Brittany from the car and closes her door behind her, both girls giggle but neither lets go of the other's hand. In fact, on the way towards the building entrance, Santana feels Brittany twist her hand and slip her fingers through the creases of her own so that they tangle and fit together like perfect puzzle pieces. Santana can't help but look down and grin like a fool at the sight. Her hearts already pounding against her ribcage like crazy and she hasn't even begun to show the blonde what she brought her here for.
Santana fumbles with some keys to the glass door entrance and then ushers Brittany in first before following. The blonde stops and stares in awe at the sight before her.
"Wow, Santana. How do you know this place?" She asks as her eyes roam around the smaller front area, studiously taking in ever gold and platinum album hanging from the walls, and each random guitar or other musical prop placed here or there. There's a small desk that serves as the 'receptionist' area, and two long sleek black leather couches off to the right that play host to any guests, visitors, or artists waiting their turn.
The music studio that Santana and Brittany are standing in, Gambit Records, is owned by Donovan Abell, who is the husband of Ryder's older sister Morgan. Santana has never met Donovan, but Ryder owed her a favor and Gambit Records is the only music recording studio in Lima (in Ohio really) with it's own sound stage and nifty little performance type area, which is exactly what Santana needed for the night.
"I know some people." Santana answers Brittany's previously declared question with a shrug of her shoulder and a coy smile. Brittany grins right back at her. With a squeeze of the blonde's hand, the Latina angles her head off to the left where a hallway leads down to the performance area. She's really nervous about what she's prepared to do, but Brittany deserves it.
"Follow me Britt, what I want to show you is this way." The Latina tells the blonde whose smile remains on her face as she follows the other girl. She's still a little awed by her surroundings, and impressed with Santana's ability to bring her to someplace like this. Brittany has always been fascinated by music and anything that revolves around it.
Brittany is so awed by her surroundings, and the numerous gold albums that line the walls of the hall she is following Santana down, that she doesn't realize when the Latina pulls them into a separate room. When she turns to look in the room though, her breath hitches and she stares amazed.
The room that Santana pulled the blonde into, and remains holding her hand in, is one of brilliant red and black color splotches and accents. There is a grand piano in the corner that appears to be elevated upon a small stage like looking area. A microphone and stand rest a few feet off to the piano's left. There's a beautiful solid maple acoustic guitar propped up in the corner and a plush looking red couch is perched in the center of the room.
Brittany turns to Santana her jaw still slightly dropped and the shorter girl smiles at the blonde. With a gentle squeeze of her hand Santana inclines her head towards the couch, in indication for Brittany to take a seat. As she walks to the couch, Brittany does not let go of Santana's hand, and when she takes a seat she looks up at the Latina expectant. Santana takes a deep breath, her thoughts running a mile a minute.
She's hoping to sweet baby Jesus that what she's about to do goes as well as she's planned and hoped for it to go in her head. With the hand that is not still gripping the blonde's, Santana runs her fingers through her hair and rubs slightly at the nape of her neck. Her bottom lip is pulled into her mouth where it is being gnawed on while between her teeth. She closes her eyes trying to calm her rapid pulse.
"Britt," Santana breaths out, her eyes remain closed because she's so nervous and unsure of herself. She can tell the blonde is fidgeting somewhere in front of her but she doesn't realize that Brittany is now standing super close to her until she finally peeks her eyes open. Brittany is staring at her with patience and affection. She reaches out blindly and grips Santana's left hand in her right, from where it had been resting limp at her side, so that now Brittany is holding both of the Latina's hands between their bodies.
With a sweet smile Brittany whispers to Santana.
"Santana this is amazing. Whatever you had planned on doing, I can wait for as long as you want until you're ready." But the words sound so much like something else, and Santana is entirely grateful for the blonde's understanding. Still, she has a lot of explaining to do and she wants to make it up to Brittany in the best way she knows how. She takes a deep breath.
"Brittany, you once told me that you never feel more free or like yourself except when you're dancing." Santana starts to say and glances up at the blonde through thick lashes, a small smile creeps onto her face as she recalls the memory, and Brittany returns the smile in full.
"For me, I only feel like myself when I'm singing, and most recently when I'm around you. But the point is, I never sing because I'm too scared that someone won't think I'm good enough and I'm scared I'll fail. I don't want to fail with you." Santana then says as her thumbs run over the back of Brittany's hands as they are held lightly and lovingly by the blonde. It takes her a few moments before she's able to continue and at that point there is a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"I want to sing a song for you because I think that songs are always better than me at expressing feelings, and I need you to know how I really feel about everything. I'm so willing to tell you, even if it means putting my heart on the line." The Latina then says and takes another deep breath. Brittany squeezes her hands and Santana looks up to make eye contact with deep blue.
"Okay San. I'm here and I'm listening." Brittany says with a determined nod of her head. The Latina stares at the other girl for a few seconds before nodding her own head in final decision. She starts to take a step back before looking at the ground with a furrowed brow, as if in serious contemplation of something, then steps back towards Brittany and places a soft kiss to the corner of the girl's mouth. Brittany gasps slightly and her cheeks flush but she smiles back at the girl with encouragement. She takes a seat back on the couch as Santana steps backwards towards the stage-their hands remain linked until they are too far away to hold.
Santana walks over to a soundboard and presses some buttons. After a few seconds, a soft piano starts playing and a few seconds after that, an electric guitar rift plays. Though Brittany doesn't recognize the music so far, she waits and listens intently.
Santana steps up to the microphone and with a gulp she focuses her gaze on the blonde before she opens her mouth and catches her breath. The lyrics fall from her lips.
Lately I'm alright
and lately I'm not scared
I've figured out,
that what you do to me feels like
I'm floating on air.
Santana's voice comes out raspy but strong and sexy nonetheless. Brittany smiles, the words already doing crazy things to her heart. Santana, through now closed eyes, continues the song, her voice becoming more emotional as the words she sings gather greater meaning.
I don't need to know right now
all I know is I believe
in the very thing that got us here
and now I can't leave.
Say anything, but say what you mean,
Cause I'm caught in suspension.
She pauses to open her eyes and look deep into the blonde's eyes again.
Now,
I'm wanting this for sure
and I'll beg for nothing more.
Santana sings and a smile crosses her face, she's becoming more and more comfortable and the words she's singing hold more and more truth as she sings them straight to Brittany.
I'll plan all day and drive all night
you'll love what's in store.
I can't seem to stop this now
even if it's not so clear,
and I'll take what I can get.
If you want me here
At that Brittany smiles and stands from the couch to walk towards Santana. The Latina for her part steps from the stage to meet the blonde in the middle. Reaching out she takes Brittany's hand as the music in the background slows and quiets a bit.
Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this
Your eyes tell the same.
Pick-ing up speed
I can barely breathe.
Cause I'm caught in suspension.
Before finishing the song, Santana steps even closer to Brittany and makes sure she is looking directly into her eyes. With a swallow she finishes the song, her voice now coming out in a little bit more of a shaky rasp at having exposed herself so openly.
Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this.
…Your eyes tell the same
The music fades and dies and both girls stand looking at each other with deep consideration. Brittany is smiling softly, she reaches out to take the Latina's other hand again, so she's now holding both, swinging them softly between them. Santana's eyes flit and dart across Brittany's face, as if she could read her thoughts just by looking at her reaction, except the blonde isn't doing much in the way of reacting, besides the smile so Santana gets a little nervous and starts rambling.
"I could have gone with a love ballad or like T. Swift but I figured if I really wanted to let you know what I'm feeling, I'd use something you probably wouldn't ever expect. Mike was playing this the other day and I just, I knew it applied to me and how I feel about you. I hope that's okay." Santana says, turning shy and unsure towards the end. She looks at Brittany with hope filled eyes. Brittany smiles so big her teeth show and her mouth almost splits in half.
"It was amazing, it was beautiful. Just like you. It was perfect Santana." The blonde tells her and Santana nods a little, still irrationally unsure. She knows that some of the lyrics are basically a question and she kind of wants to know Brittany's answer. She gazes at the blonde for a few seconds debating on whether or not she should ask the question out loud. In the end, her heart wins out and she just does it.
"So do you…?" Well she almost does it, trailing off at the end when nervousness overtakes her again. Brittany chuckles softly and the Latina furrows her brow in confusion, she wasn't sure this was exactly a laughing matter.
"San, look into my eyes and tell me what you see." Brittany then implores for the girl to do. Santana makes eye contact with bright blue, she's never been good at reading other people's feelings but when she looks into Brittany's shining eyes she can see nothing but want and need and everything she could have hoped for.
"I want this, I want you." Brittany whispers and takes a step closer to the Latina whose heart skips a beat at the way the move brings a half an inch proximity between their lips.
"Now, are you going to kiss me or what?"
Santana didn't expect to laugh at that. But Brittany is just too damn adorable.
She doesn't reply with words, she simply leans in and connects their lips. The blonde's hands instantly shoot to the Latina's wavy locks where the fingers on one of her hands tangles itself into the smooth dark brown hair and the other hand cups the nap of Santana's neck holding the girl's face close to her. Santana's own hands wrap around Brittany's waist and rest on the small of her back, one of her hands fisting the cotton material and pulling their bodies impossibly closer.
Santana releases a surprised gasp into the blonde's mouth when Brittany walks their bodies back to the couch and falls backwards onto it, Santana landing on top of the taller girl with a slight 'omp!'. They both air out little giggles at the action and when they lock eyes, Brittany looks partly guilty.
"Sorry." She whispers but Santana just smiles at her and leans in to place a soft kiss on her mouth swiping her tongue over the blonde's lower lip before pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes again.
"Don't be." She tells her adjusting her arms and body so that she is lying more comfortable on top of Brittany's body, effectively sinking between Brittany's outstretched legs, and tucking her hands under the girl's back at her sides. The blonde does her part to make Santana comfortable as well, wrapping her hands around the Latina's waist and holding her close. When their lips meet again it is with vigor and want.
Brittany nips at Santana's bottom lip and smoothes her tongue over the bite in effort to part the girl's lips. The Latina instantly complies and she feels the blonde's tongue glide into her mouth and connect with her own tongue, sending off a series of sparks and fireworks through her body and behind her closed eye lids. Santana airs out a moan into Brittany's mouth as their tongues stroke the length of each other and explore mouths, wet and warm.
When they break for air, Brittany's lips just attach themselves to the skin at Santana's neck, kissing and nipping a trail up it until she reaches the fluttering pulse point and wraps her lips around the main pulse.
"Britt-nay…" Santana pants out the other girl's name in a breathless moan. The room has gotten significantly hotter and she is beginning to feel a distinct tingle in her lower stomach and a creeping heat is spreading through her body and centering itself between her legs.
Brittany stretches her neck up to continue her kissing and nipping along Santana's glowing skin, pressing into the skin beneath her earlobe and holding the girl close as she shivers at the touch. When Brittany's lips trail a wet path along the ledge of her jaw, Santana finds that she has a death grip on the material at the blonde's sides. Everything is happening really quick and her emotions are flying free all over the place.
Santana buries her face in the crook of Brittany's neck, breathing heavily and trying to do everything in her power from rocking her hips down into the girl. She wants it, she wants it so bad, but she just needs a second. Brittany doesn't seem to mind and just continues her earlier assault on the Latina's neck, briefly considering the marks that will be there tomorrow, but smiling at that notion and not really letting it bother her all too much.
After a few seconds of Santana's quick pants blowing hot air onto her neck, the Latina leans back and sits up, her legs fitted one on each side of Brittany's hips so she is straddling the girl. Brittany almost moans at the sight of such an amazingly sexy being sitting not only before her, but also atop of her. As her eyes roam over the Latina's body, she notices the way it pants and shakes above her, but when she connects with dark brown she sees a look of nervousness covering Santana's face.
Quickly Brittany hoists herself up so that their faces are mere inches apart. She wraps her arms around the other girl's back and pulls her in close placing a sweet, soft butterfly kiss to the hollow of her neck before stretching up and placing another one on the apple of the flushed tan cheek.
"Are you okay?" She asks sincerely, hoping she didn't push too hard on the girl, she honestly forgot that Santana was probably a little nervous and unsure about the whole thing-unsure of herself at least. Brittany doesn't want her impulsive actions to have frightened the girl-she just couldn't help herself.
Santana's eyes are closed, not in a clenched tight and fearful manner, but a contemplative manner-she is considering exactly what is going on in her head. When she finally opens them she is met with caring blue, she loves the look that Brittany gives to her, almost as much as she loves the way the blonde is holding her right now. She's her grounding grace. Slowly she nods her head before dipping down to place a chaste kiss on pink lips.
"I am…" Santana starts to say, her voice raspy from unuse, "I'm just trying to get myself together. Brittany I…I've never…" She starts to say and the blonde's eyebrows knit together.
"You're a virgin?" She blurts out suddenly-she really didn't mean to do that. She further didn't mean to sound so shocked-it's not like she ever thought Santana was a slut or anything, she's just heard a lot of rumors, ones that point to the Latina being anything but inexperienced in the bedroom. Santana cracks a lopsided smile and chuckles softly.
"I'm not a virgin Britt, well with boys, but I've never done anything with a…girl. I want to do this right, what if I mess up or something or do something wrong?" The last part of the statement brings a look of uncertainty to the Latina's features. She nervously chews the inside of her lip.
Before Santana can even comprehend what's happening, Brittany is hoisting her lower half up and forcing her onto her back as the blonde fits her body on top of her. Brittany doesn't hesitate to position her legs between the Latina's hips, and encourages the girl to keep her legs wrapped around her waist. Nor does Brittany shy away from pressing their covered stomachs and breasts together as she lowers her weight more into the other girl. Santana lets out a strangled whimper at the action, the feeling coursing through her veins is unstoppable and her skin is burning with white-hot heat.
"Fuck, Brittany." Santana says, but it sounds much more like a moan.
Her eyes have rolled to the back of her head and the blonde continues to torture her by pushing more of her weight into her and angling her hips down just enough to create palpitations between her legs at the friction. The blonde just smiles down at her devilishly before leaning in and kissing another hot trail up her neck, positioning her lips on the shell of Santana's ear.
"Trust me when I say that based on the things you already do to me and my body, anything else you try is not going to be wrong." Brittany husks into the Latina's ear before licking the shell and sending Santana's body into involuntary shivers. She releases another moan and Brittany takes the opportunity to bury her face back into Santana's neck, kissing at her pulse point and licking away the sweet taste of the other girl's skin. Like vanilla, roses and passion-seductive and enticing all encompassed in one.
"I want this." Brittany breathes into the crook of Santana's neck and then continues to trace her tongue over the pulse point that still flutters rapidly beneath the surface of smooth tan skin. Brittany is not only reassuring the Latina of her interest and investment in this situation, she is solidifying the truth to herself. She does want this, with Santana, she wants it all and she's never wanted anything more.
Santana's eyes flicker open as she her hands jolt into gear and move to cup the blonde's cheeks, pulling her face up so that she can lock onto blue eyes and gather the pure and honest truth in them. She smiles her gratitude back to Brittany before stretching her neck out and gathering the blonde's top lip between her own.
The kiss becomes even more heated as Brittany smiles into the kiss and delves her tongue past slightly parted lips, stroking the roof of the Latina's mouth. Santana is far too concentrated on the taste of Brittany's mouth, sweet like molasses and fresh like mint, and the things the blonde can do with her tongue, she doesn't realize Brittany's hands have dropped to the hem of her shirt.
The action is slow at first but completely deliberate. As Santana is considering the sensations that Brittany's mouth is creating within her own, she suddenly feels a cool palm stroke over the hot skin of her flat stomach. She jerks slightly at the touch pulling her head back, disconnecting her lips and snapping her eyes open.
She looks wide-eyed at Brittany who also opens her eyes in confusion at the halting of the magical kiss she was just enjoying. If she thought the Latina's lips were incredible, they don't compare to Santana's tongue and the way it expertly strokes along her own. Her eyes focus on the still broad ones of the girl below her. Realization suddenly hits her as she remembers her right hand, who true story had a mind of it's own, is still running languidly over Santana's smooth firm stomach.
"Oh god, I'm sorry." Brittany whispers as her hand halts and she cautiously pulls it out and away from under the Latina's shirt. It takes a few moments, while the blonde looks away sheepishly, before brown eyes soften and Santana relaxes again.
"It's okay, I just wasn't expecting that." She admits and blue eyes flit slowly back to hers. Brittany swallows.
"I just got a little carried away, it's hard because you're really hot and everything." She blurts out and her own eyes go wide in terror at her confession, her cheeks immediately flushing scarlet. Santana giggles and places a few wet kisses across the heated skin.
"Trust me, I know the feeling. And I want this too, it's just going to all be kind of new for me." She then tells the blonde, hoping the other girl is not to dangerously embarrassed, she would hate to have ruined the moment. Especially when she was very much enjoying the kissing and the feel of Brittany on top of her.
Brittany smiles bashfully and tucks her chin down a bit allowing it to rest on Santana's chest. She is surprised to find that the other girl's heart is beating just as frantically as she can feel her own. Without thinking she tilts her head so her lips can place a kiss to the area right where Santana's heart beats, and although covered by cotton material-the action still sends a flare through the shorter girls body. She airs out a breathy moan and it spikes Brittany's own arousal.
She knows she can't push too hard, too far, too much so soon though so she closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, willing herself to calm down and not ravish the Latina right this instant. She calms considerably when she feels a wet kiss placed on her exposed temple and Santana's arms wrap tighter around her waist pulling her in even more impossibly close.
Brittany sighs and rests her cheek against the barely uncovered area of the other girl's chest, right where the crew neck dips towards her awe inspiring cleavage. She can still hear the solid beats of her heart and she smiles into the heated skin.
The peaceful and beautiful moment is quite suddenly interrupted by an obnoxiously annoying ringing. It seriously puts a damper on the feeling of wanting to drift off to sleep that Brittany, and Santana, where just having. Santana realizes the ringing is the alarm she had previously set on her phone, well that would make since that it's keeping her awake-that is it's intention after all.
Both girls groan and Santana wiggles under the reluctant to move blonde to stretch out and swipe her finger across the screen to stop the annoying alarm sound. She sighs, Brittany tries to keep her eyes closed hoping the moment will continue without her having to move. Alas, it was not meant to be.
"Britt, it's eight forty. I promised your mom I'd have you home at eight fifty." Santana whispers into blonde locks as she strokes one hand through the length of them and the other rests gently on the Brittany's back casually moving up and down in a comforting manner. The blonde groans out her resistance.
"Why'd you have to go be goody two shoes telling my mom that?" She says, Santana can hear the teasing tone, and she knows that Brittany is just joking with her. Kind of.
"I just want your mom to like me Britt, that way she'll let me come around more and spend time with you outside of the house. Like tonight." Santana says back quietly into the room. She feels as a puff of breath is released from the blonde's lips in exasperation. Santana chuckles at that.
"There's always next time Britt." Santana then says and that gets the blonde to perk up. She immediately raises her head from the Latina's chest with a beaming smile.
"Yeah?" She asks with adolescent enthusiasm and her cheese eating grin. Santana smiles back and brushes her fingers through the blonde's hair nodding slowly before leaning up to peck her lips in confirmation.
"Of course." She says and Brittany sighs contently, quickly reconnecting their lips for a longer, deeper kiss. It doesn't get too out of control because Santana's back up alarm goes off and both girls now manage to untangle from each other and roll off the couch.
As Santana stands she holds her hand out to the blonde who looks down at it with amazement before she reaches out her own hand and grasps it.
When they exit the building, Santana remains holding onto Brittany's hand as she relocks the entrance door and then turns to the other girl with a bright smile on her face. Brittany just stares at her unabashedly before the Latina motions towards her parked car and Brittany nods. They must break contact to enter the car but as soon as Santana has started the vehicle, Brittany picks her hand up again and retangles their fingers.
Santana smiles over at her and catches the admiring look on Brittany's face. The shorter girl cocks her head in silent question.
"I've never felt more like myself than when I'm around you." Brittany suddenly tells her and Santana's heart skips a beat. She nods back at the girl, feeling the tears slowly build up behind her eyes. She thinks she might be falling from somewhere, she knows she's never felt like this before.
The rest of the drive back to Brittany's apartment is filled with the low hum of music coming from the radio, comfortable silence between both girls, and stolen bashful glances. Santana parks and squeezes Brittany's hand before getting out and running around to open her door and reclaim her hand, walking like that to the apartment door.
Santana stares at the ground at Brittany's feet in nervousness, not really entirely sure who out of them is supposed to initiate the goodnight kiss. Brittany is pretty forward in general, but Santana doesn't want to just expect anything. She's caught off guard when she feels Brittany's hand cup her chin and slowly tilt it upwards so they are looking into each other's eyes. The blonde takes a step forward, bringing their faces within an inch of each other.
Santana is expecting a good-bye peck, what she isn't expecting is Brittany grasping her face in both hands and pulling her passionately to her mouth, planting a deep, hard kiss on her still slightly swollen lips, but that doesn't mean Santana doesn't smile into the kiss and tilt her head for more.
What she also isn't expecting, however, is Brittany's green apartment door to be swinging wide open and a voice to be calling out in interruption right in the middle of their lip lock.
"What on earth do you think you're doing?"
On a longer note:
Okay I admit-I'm still kind of cruel. I know there wasn't any all the way stuff this time, it's still a little early for that, but I promise it will happen for our girls!
Obviously I still don't own the show or characters or any other similar references to movies, cars, stuff, etc. Only my own original idea and mediocre writing. (It's not that bad is it?) Also sorry for any mistakes, I am my own beta so they all belong to me.
I'm usually not big on putting songs in my stories, but it kind of fit for what I did this time, the songs do not belong to me, they are as follows:
-Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys (rap part Santana and Tanner sang)
-Suspension – Mae
Oh and I hope I never offend anyone with my writing, that is never my intent. If something I write bothers you, let me know and Ill rectify the situation.
Thank you all again for your continued interest and support. I do love all your reviews, motivation, encouragement and love!
Lastly, if anyone is interested I'm posting the Prologue of a new story I'm working on. It's called Acquainted With the Night (which is the title of a Robert Frost poem). It's a period fic about Brittana in the Prohibition era. Depending on how much interest people have in it I can also post regularly on that, but I am still fully dedicated to this story.
Well ta-ta for now. Let me know your thoughts if you feel like it!
-A