Co-written with Stormypups

Beta'd by Rakina

Chapter Six

"It's huge," Harry said, staring at Potter Manor and feeling overwhelmed.

Snape sneered and shook his head. "What were you expecting, a hovel?"

"I don't know, but I wasn't expecting this," Harry said, motioning to the large house. For the first time it really hit him what this all meant. He sat down on the ground and buried his head in his hands. "I don't suppose you want it," he asked, looking up at Snape.

"Oh, get up."

"No."

Snape grabbed him by his t-shirt and hauled him to his feet. "Stop acting like a petulant child."

Harry glared at him and sighed. "I really wish you had been having me on."

"Do you plan on going inside, or were you going to continue having the vapors like some 19th century woman?" Snape asked, giving Harry a little shake and releasing him. "I do have other things I could be doing."

"Sorry, let's go." Harry folded his arms across his chest as he headed up the winding path towards his family's home.

"Is there a key or something?" Harry asked after an aborted attempt at opening the door.

"Place your hand against the door, it will recognize the heir," Snape informed him.

Harry looked skeptical, but did as he was told. He placed his palm flush up against the cracked and peeling paint of the front door. A sharp shock raced through his hand and he yelped.

A moment later, a lock clicked and the door opened. Harry glanced over his shoulder at Snape, who was watching him passively, his face expressionless. Steeling himself, Harry stepped inside.

It was dark. Harry squinted into the musty interior, his nostrils twitching as dust assaulted them and he sneezed, once, twice and groaned.

"I did warn you it would need cleaning," Snape said from the doorway, obviously amused.

"I didn' know I had a dus' all'gy," Harry admitted, rubbing his dripping nose.

Snape waved his wand, removing the majority of the dust. "One would think you weren't a wizard, Potter."

Harry groaned. "I grew up with Muggles."

"That doesn't mean you should neglect the basics," Snape argued.

"I don't know the basics," Harry protested, pulling out his wand and casting Lumos.

"I know the concept is foreign to you, but perhaps you should try reading a book," Snape replied, casting Lumos as well.

"When did I have a chance to read books on housekeeping charms since I started school?"

"You had a summer break, did you not?" Snape held his wand up higher to examine a tapestry on the wall.

Harry rolled his eyes as they wandered through the entrance hall. "Lived with Muggles."

"No excuse. Don't go upstairs without checking the steps themselves."

"Muggles that hated magic," Harry continued as they slowly walked towards the stairs.

"You're still making excuses. What in the name of Merlin is that?"

Harry glanced up at Snape in confusion. "What's what?"

"That!" Snape said, raising his wand to light up the nearby wall.

"A wall," Harry supplied, still not seeing what had got Snape's knickers in a twist.

"Higher up, idiot. There," he said, pointing to a portrait and the occupant who was peering at them from the edge of the frame.

Harry grinned, biting the inside of his cheek. "Ah...Snape, it's just a portrait."

"Obviously," Snape growled. "But what is it a portrait of?"

"A person?"

Whoever was peeking around the edge of the frame, disappeared completely. "Forget it," Snape muttered, though he kept glancing at the portrait.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked, touching Snape's arm gently.

Snape shrugged Harry off. "I'm fine. Have you seen enough? You may as well wait until it's been cleaned before exploring. I'm sure some basic repairs will be required as well."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, sure." His gaze flicked over to the portrait on the wall, trying to see what had startled Snape so badly, but it was still an empty canvas.

When they Apparated back to the gates of the castle, it was to land in the middle of a group of people who all started calling to Harry.

"Oh, bugger off," Snape muttered, grabbing Harry by the back of his shirt and shoving him through the crowd and though the gates, which he slammed with a loud clang.

"Hey, Professor, I have a question," Harry began.

"Save it," Snape said, glaring over his shoulder at the growing mass of people outside the gate. "Who knows what spells they are using to listen in?"

When they reached the castle, Albus was standing on the steps, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Severus. Your Majesty," he said, smiling as he bowed to Harry.

Harry scowled and almost looked ready to stomp his foot in irritation. "Please don't you start too."

"I'm sorry, my boy, I couldn't resist," Dumbledore said, smiling brightly. His gaze turned to the far-off gates. "I had hoped it would take them longer to realize you were here. Don't worry, the press isn't allowed on the grounds, after all, school is not in session."

"They're allowed on when school is!"

"The Ministry and the School Board require the school to be open to the press in most cases, but I find the right word in the right ear will remedy the situation. Unfortunately, this is a public school and thus the public must have some degree of access."

"Do you have a time turner, sir?"

Dumbledore chuckled and Snape scowled.

Harry turned his scowl onto Snape, "Remember that conversation this morning about getting pissed?"

"I'm sure the Headmaster would join you in a drink, though I must warn you he sings when he's inebriated. Badly."

Harry blinked. "You mean you'll actually let me this time?"

Snape sighed. "You're of age, I cannot stop you, and at the moment I can see no reason to do so. Headmaster, would you care for a drink?"

"No, not this time I'm afraid. You two boys go and enjoy yourself."

Snape glared at Harry for a moment. "Come along then, Potter," Snape said, and entered the castle, expecting Harry to follow.

Harry hurried after him, sending Dumbledore a small smile and a wave as he did so.

Harry followed Snape through the corridors. He couldn't help but notice the sound of Snape's boots against the stone floor and idly wondered how on earth the man was able to sneak up on people so easily.

"Can I ask my question now?"

"If you must," Snape replied, flinging open a door with his wand and passing through the doorway.

"How am I supposed to get my supplies for the upcoming term if I can't even leave the castle without being hounded?"

"Send in an order by owl," Snape answered, looking at Harry as if he were an idiot.

"You can do that?" Harry asked in surprise and then flushed. "Don't answer that."

Harry was surprised when they entered the room in which the teachers usually spent their time between classes. He looked around in interest, but found nothing very exciting about the room. A few comfortable chairs, a table, and a large cabinet on the far wall.

Snape was pulling glasses and a bottle of amber liquid from said cabinet.

"Is it a habit of the staff's to get drunk regularly?"

"Have you ever seen Trelawney sober?" Snape asked, setting the glasses on the table.

Harry watched as Snape poured the alcohol and took a glass off the table. "I rather imagined she was high on the fumes from her incense, not drunk."

"No reason it can't be both," Snape said, taking a glass and tossing it back quickly and refilling his glass before sitting down. He swirled the amber liquid, watching the play of colors across the surface.

Harry snorted, taking the smallest sip of his drink.

Snape sipped his drink, watching Harry carefully for a moment before leaning his head against the back of his chair. How had he sunk to this? Was this what his life had become? Getting pissed with Harry Potter?

Harry took another hesitant sip, taking enough that he actually had to swallow some this time and it didn't just sink into his tongue. "What is this?"

"Cognac," Snape answered. "It's a type of Brandy. If you were hoping for something like beer, you're out of luck."

"It's fine," Harry stated, taking another sip. "I'm just not used to it, that's all."

"Do you really intend to get drunk?" Snape asked curiously.

"I don't know yet," Harry admitted, toying with the glass. "Seems like a brilliant plan in theory."

"Until you wake up with a blinding headache and a mouth full of cotton," Snape replied, scowling.

"Don't you have a remedy for that?"

Snape smirked. "I do. You, however, do not."

Harry frowned down at his glass of barely drank alcohol. "You could be nice and share."

"If you're going to do something foolish, you've got to be willing to pay the consequences," Snape said, setting his glass on the table.

"You suck the fun out of everything," Harry grumbled.

Snape had no answer.

An hour later and with three glasses of whatever it was Snape was plying him with, Harry suddenly didn't think his troubles were all that bad.

"Did you know that Carlisle and Thelonious," Harry mashed his fingers together instead of forming the rest of the sentence.

Snape blinked tiredly. "What are you talking about?" he asked, pleased that his voice wasn't slurring.

Harry grunted. "You know they were-" he mashed his fingers together again with a bit more force, "together."

"As in sexually?" Snape asked, brow arched. "Not surprising. Does it bother you?" If so, you're in for a rude awakening.

"No, and it should, shouldn't it?" Harry's head felt fuzzy. "I mean...I told Ron and he about vomited into his porridge."

"Imbecile," Snape muttered, and Harry wasn't sure if he meant him or Ron. "There is no reason it should bother you. Have you never entertained a fantasy about one of your male schoolmates?" Snape knew he should drop the subject, but the alcohol was obviously numbing his good sense.

Harry shrugged. "Seamus, Zabini, Malfoy – that was a good one until I realized what I was doing."

Malfoy?

"Then why would it bother you that two men acted upon their urges?" Before he could stop the next words, he had already said them aloud. "Rumor has it that Malfoy is rubbish in bed."

Snape blinked stupidly for a moment, then glared at his empty glass.

Harry sniggered, almost choking on the sip he had just taken of his own drink.

"Remind me to Obliviate you later," Snape muttered, pouring himself another glass.

"See I told you, you suck all the fun out of everything. You just gave me great blackmail material."

"Now that news of your title has reached the press, I think you can be assured that Malfoy will be the first in line of those trying woo you," Snape said, snorting with amusement. That might actually be amusing to watch.

Unless Harry took him up on it. Or anyone else for that matter. Snape's amusement turned to irritation.

"Woo me?" Harry repeated, distaste scrawled all over his face. "Isn't that word not even a part of the common dictionary anymore?"

"Just because a word has gone out of style does not make it less of a word," Snape said, though he wasn't certain that his sentence had made any sense. "Would you prefer it if I said he was going to attempt to shag you rotten?"

"Please no."

"Any student over the age of fourteen is going to be after you, you do realize that, don't you? You are now the most eligible wizard in school. How are you going to handle it?"

"Can I hide in the dungeons like you?"

Snape snorted. "According to the stories, you belong in the tower, not the dungeons."

"I'm not a bloody princess." Harry slumped back into the squishy armchair. "And why would anyone want to marry me?"

"If you're looking for someone to list the things that make you attractive, you've come to the wrong person."

"Yes, well, if you did start listing my attractive qualities I'd wonder what you had been drinking or maybe smoking, or possibly some really scary combination of both."

"I'll not share my stash with you, don't even ask," Snape warned. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Definitely need to Obliviate you."

"You have a stash?" Harry's eyes were practically glittering.

"No," Snape answered, frowning at Harry. "Promise me now that nothing said in this room goes any further, or I will Obliviate you."

Harry nodded. "Who'd believe me if I told them?"

"Say the words, Potter," Snape hissed, leaning forward in his chair.

"I promise!"

Snape nodded curtly and sat back in his chair.

"So you really have a stash?"

"I'm a Potions Master, Potter, what did you expect?"

Harry laughed. "That you don't have pot hidden amongst your stores of ingredients. You know if someone broke into your private stores and found that..."

"You broke into my stores and you didn't find it," Snape returned, his lips curled into a sneer.

"I did not!" Harry cried, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "I never once broke into your stores."

"Second year, the ingredients needed for Polyjuice Potion. Fourth year, Gillyweed. Merlin knows what I don't know about yet."

"Second year, Hermione stole them so we could spy on Malfoy," Harry shot back, not caring that he was indicting one of his best friends. "Fourth year, Dobby."

Snape eyed Harry warily for a long moment, then nodded. "Do not go looking for my 'stash', or you will be spending the bulk of your seventh year in detention."

"Why go look for it when I can just pester you at every turn to play nice with the other children and share it with me?" Harry set his empty glass on the table and stood up. "Any idea what time it is?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," Snape admitted, realizing that it didn't bother him in the least. The time spent with Potter had been actually pleasant, for the most part, which was surprising in itself. He also knew that now the press had hold of things he wasn't likely to get another moment of peace any time soon.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, stumbling a bit as he made to cross the room. "Where am I supposed to stay tonight?"

"Wherever you bloody well want to, I imagine," Snape answered, pouring himself another glass of brandy.

Harry watched him, trying to clear the fog from his head. "Can I stay with you?"

Snape choked on his brandy. "What on earth for?" he asked, coughing.

"'Cause," Harry answered, shrugging.

"You have the whole castle at your disposal," Snape said, looking at Harry as if he were insane. "You'll find my home sadly lacking in amenities."

"I don't want 'amenities', I want safety." Harry raked a hand through his hair. "I trust you to keep me safe."

"You are safest in the castle," Snape said, sighing. "If you wish, I will stay in residence tonight." Already, he was bending his will to King Potter. Lovely.

Harry cast his glance away at the door. "You know if the idea of staying in the same room as me overnight is so repulsive, you can just say so."

"Same room?" Snape asked. "We are not staying the same room! You can stay in my quarters, but we are not sharing a room."

"Same difference," Harry muttered. "If you don't want me there just say so!"

"There is such a thing as propriety, Potter," Snape said, frowning. "It has nothing to do with what I want, or don't want."

"Doesn't seem to stop you from keeping an illegal substance in the castle."

"You can stay in my quarters," Snape said, getting to his feet and putting the brandy away. He swayed a little and put a hand to his head, steadying himself. "I'm going to talk to Albus about sending some house elves to clean your house and make it habitable."

Harry bowed his head and nodded. "Sir, may I ask one last question?"

"What is it?"

"What was in that picture back at the manor that startled you so much?"

Snape's face went back to its expressionless mask. "Nothing at all," he said, lightly. "I'm sure you must be hungry. I'll meet you in the kitchens after I speak with the Headmaster."

Without another word, Snape left the room, leaving Harry to stare after him.