awsome, i feel like writing and the holidays have just started, i may have another chapter out before the end, so that will break my chain of updating monthly. yippy

disclaimer:no own ffX

7 good things made bad

Yuna had stayed in her bed the entire morning. She was swapping between sleeping and staring out the window. She was hungry but wasn't in the mood to get out of bed, so she stayed where she was.

Something that Amik had said to her had lodged itself inside her head and refused to get out. The thing about that she was trying to pretend that she wasn't depressed, that she was fine, well not fine, but somewhere close to it.

She was lying to herself by doing it, she didn't like doing it but it really just came by instinct now, she'd spent years acting happy when she was sad; so when she had any negative emotions she hid them with positive ones.

Doing that made it harder to get better, but even knowing that didn't make stopping it any easier.

By herself, she didn't stop what she was feeling to get to her, when she was near others she felt so uncomfortable letting people in on what she was feeling.

She didn't want to fake her emotions, so she had decided to be by herself so she didn't start doing so.

Being in her own company was making her realise just how bad she was feeling, how stupid she felt even.

As she was trying so hard to not listen to what went around in her head, she almost forgot how bad she missed Tidus, she had reduced the pain by forcing him out of her mind as best as possible, not like she could completely, taking into account her current situation.

Now she felt bad for doing so, it was like she was trying to forget him, and that was exactly opposite of what she wanted.

She couldn't help the tears that fell silently down her cheeks.

She felt stupid as well because of what she was doing right now, was there a point to this, sure if she told everybody about her pregnancy they would see her differently, but maybe she could make them understand, after all, she did love it's father, so why would it be bad?

Why did Lulu let her do this? Now when it was born she would have to leave, and she didn't want to let that enter her head, just thinking about it for a second made her feel like she was in horrible pain, her heart felt like it was being ripped apart!

She shook her head to try and get her mind to something lighter, and far of this topic.

She didn't do very good and ended up with tears falling down her face to her pillow.

She made out the sound of her door opening over the sound of her crying, she didn't want any one to see her cry, she tried stopping, but of course failed.

"You should get up; Lu might get worried about you"

She recognised the voice to belong to Mina.

"Why does it matter?" she asked through her tears.

"She worries about you you know, you should care" Mina came and sat at the end of Yuna's bed.

"Try to cheer up why don't you? I've seen to many depressed people, might make me depressed."

She didn't sound any bit sad, if anything happy, how could she be feeling that right now?

"Why do you sound so happy, there's nothing funny about this"

she waited for Mina to reply, she didn't hear it so she began to expect she wasn't going to give one, she turned her head enough to see what the woman was doing, she had began to twirl her hair around a finger. The expression she held looked a lot sadder than what her voice had shown, but it still had the hint of happiness in it, why ever she did.

"It has nothing to do with what is happening. And I do generally would like you to have an attempt at trying to cheer up by the way. But it's kind of cute; you look like an old friend of mine"

That wasn't really what Yuna was expecting her to say, an old friend?

"Friend?"

Mina nodded, "yeah, Ayla. She died when her daughter was five, her husband didn't die much longer after that. I've always missed her. I felt horrible for her daughter at the time to, because she would have nobody. She had relatives of course. But they lived far away."

Yuna had never seen mina look so sad, her and Ayla must have been good friends.

"How did she die?"

Mina stopped twirling her hair and looked up

"She was on a boat and Sin attacked it, I tried to forget about it, but the only thing I did was make myself forget about why she was on the boat on the first place. Then I thought of how stupid it was that I did that, if I forgot that she was dead that would mean that I would have to forget about her too. I didn't want to forget about my best friend"

It seemed that many of the people in Mina's life had there's ended by Sin. Even with him gone, it was still a common story.

"Did she live in Luca?"

"No, in Bevelle" mina got up from the bed. "I lived there for a while, I moved to Luca only a couple of years ago, Emily was almost three and I was pregnant with Black. I had Byx with me at that time too, he was still very young, and I didn't think it wise to be on a boat, but I did it anyway. I got lucky, Ayla wasn't"

"Mina, what happened to your husband?"

"he died on the same boat"

Even Mina had bad things in her life, but she didn't let them make her down, her emotions weren't fake, they were real. She was happy. As stupid as it was, Yuna was actually envious of her.

"You coming?" Mina called from where she was near the door.

"Yeah" Yuna followed after her

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Yuna had had something to eat she went about to find Lulu. She found her talking to Sei, who obviously was refusing to leave her alone.

"Like uh hare, like uh hare!" he was giggling and jumping up and down, Yuna was confused how Lulu understood him so easily. She was sure he was saying something about her hair, maybe that he said that he liked it, but he was talking so fast it wasn't easy understanding.

"Yes yes you like my hair I understand, you don't need to go on"

He continued to jump

"Yea I do"

He tried climbing onto her but she forced him back, it didn't stop him attempting though.

Yuna noticed something that she was confused she didn't notice it before, Sei had really peculiar eyes. They were mainly a purplish black colour, but they were speckled with blue, grey and red. Wonder how he got that.

While she was trapped in her thoughts Yuna noticed that lulu had stopped Sei from trying to climb onto her head.

He was a cute kid, his orange hair was a startling difference from his dark eyes, but it actually made him look cuter. Lulu was leading him over to where some of the other kids were playing, so she would no longer have to deal with him attempting to climb on her head.

Lulu saw Yuna watching her and gave her a smile, probably happy that she was up and not crying to herself in her room.

Yuna left Lulu alone to try and find something to do to pass time. Hanging around the house all day wasn't very entertaining. She was a bit over three months pregnant now and had no idea how she would stop herself from going insane in the next couple of months. She was already bored of everything in this house. Sleeping was getting to be the most fun thing nowadays.

She took a seat on a chair in the dining room while thinking of something that would be somewhat amusing.

Amik came up to her then, she had the most mischievous looking smile on her face. Almost like she was thinking something evil.

"What do you want?" Yuna questioned her,

"Nothing much, little bit bored" she answered.

"You don't live here do you? Don't you have somewhere else to go?"

"Yeah, but my friend was being mean so I want to stay with Aunty Mina for awhile." Amik grinned

"She's your Aunty?"

"Yeah" Amik answered acting like that was a stupid question, "didn't you know?"

"No, if I did I wouldn't have asked"

"Makes sense, you're asking lots a questions, you have more right?" She chuckled

"Um, kinda. A little while ago you told me that you were 19, but to be honest you don't look much older than Emily, how is that possible" Yuna inquired.

"Hah?" Amik said "how is it possible?"

"Yeah, you look way to young to be 19"

"Well" Amik moved in her seat slightly. "I've got this thing, it's like; you know that disease that makes young people look old, well it's like the opposite of that"

She explained as it was the most normal thing in the world.

"That's not very normal"

"Course, if I didn't have it I would think it didn't exist."

Amik got up from her seat and turned to leave, "but I'm bored now so bye"

She left Yuna alone trying to figure out what she should do. Maybe she could've gone to talk to lulu, why didn't she do that before? It wouldn't be boring like the rest of this place.

Almost like she knew what she was thinking Lulu walked into the room and took a seat next to her, what good timing.

"Are you alright? You don't look very good?" she asked.

"No I'm alright," she lied

"You know what I was just thinking'. Yuna said

"What is that?"

"That Sei looks a bit like a child Wakka with funny eyes"

Well she hadn't been thinking that right at this moment, but she had been thinking that when she was watching Lulu and Sei before.

"You really think that?"

"Yeah"

"I think he looks more like Chappu."

"I guess he does, I just don't remember what he looks like as good"

"He did die awhile ago now, not all faces remain clear in your memory, even if you want them to"

There was such sadness in Lulu's voice, but there was truth to her word, when loved ones die sometimes it gets harder to remember things about them, no matter how much you cling to the memories, they will someday disappear. It was something that really scared Yuna. She didn't wish for things in her life to become nothing but a memory. It was horrible when such things happen, she felt bad that she couldn't remember the face of her mother and her father's was so blurred in memories. But she knew that if something like that ever happen to her memories of Tidus, that she would never have worse in her life. And it must be hurting Lulu, that the face of someone that she loved was no longer clear, how that must hurt.

"You said that Sei had the same hair colour as his father, so his hair was orange too?"

"Too?"

"Yeah, both you and Henah were with someone that had orange hair, it's a funny coincidence right?"

Lulu remained silent for a minute.

"Yeah"

This talk wasn't something that Lulu wanted to talk about it seemed, she kept on going silent every now and then.

"Is something up?"

"Sort off"

"What?" Yuna questioned

"There's something that I've not really been honest about, it's stupid that I never said anything about it in the first place, and I really want to let someone know about it"

"what is it?"

"Sei isn't Henah's" she announced.

"What? So who is he?"

"He's mine" she confessed.

"What. Are you kidding?"

"No, I found out that I was pregnant after I found out Chappu was dead, I panicked, even though I knew people would help me, I was scared. I didn't want a baby that didn't have a father, and I was scared of what people would think. Now that I think back on it, it seems so stupid. I don't know what made me act that way"

That sounded so much like what had been going through Yuna's head.

"Why did you never tell anybody?"

"Sometimes even if a thing isn't bad, keeping a secret for long enough will make it so."

"So why did you let me do the same thing?" she questioned Lulu,

"I left it up to you, whether you would choose to do it or not was up to you, I never forced you"

"Sorry"

"You have nothing to apologise for Yuna"

Lulu got up and left before Yuna was able to see the tears that were starting to run down.

Yuna did have something to apologise for whether Lulu thought she did or not, she thought that Lulu didn't understand anything, how wrong she was.

for a story called depression, it hasn't been as sad as i would like it too. that sucks