A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Come find me on tumblr: andthisisthewonder.

Haymitch recommended that Peeta stay away for ten days. He lasted six.

Although, to be fair, he spent the seventh night at a hotel in New York City after flying into JFK from Saint Lucia. So really, he was pretty close to the ten day mark.

When Katniss opened her apartment door to find him rocking back and forth on his heels, a smile tugging at his lips, she leaned against the door and said, "Oh, hey."

"Oh, hey?" he echoed. "I'm not supposed to be back for another three days, and your response to my surprise is 'oh, hey'?"

She stepped out of the way, giving him room to enter the apartment. She shut the door and leaned back against it.

"Sorry, but your arrival in New York made Oh No They Didn't."

"Is that a real website?" he asked.

"Yes, and Prim checks it every freaking day. She kept me updated on every move you made while you were gone despite me begging her not to."

Every afternoon after school, Prim would read her favorite gossip blogs and share everything she learned. Katniss had asked her not to repeatedly, had even walked around the apartment with her hands clamped over her ears like a five-year-old, but Prim was relentless.

She even showed Katniss pictures from the beach.

The funny part was, at least half of the pictures featured Peeta sitting on a lounge chair, staring at his cell phone.

"Did she?" he asked with a grin. "And what was I up to?"

"You had a secret rendezvous with Cashmere Phillips in Saint Lucia. Also, the two of you are considering buying a home together in Connecticut."

"Really? That's amazing!" Peeta said. At Katniss's puzzled look, he continued, "They made up a story about me being in Connecticut that doesn't involve you. Haymitch's advice worked." He grimaced. "Does this mean I have to start listening to him from now on?"

"Nah. I'd consider this random luck."

"So, where's Annie and Prim?"

"They said they're going to the movies, but who knows. I think they just wanted to give us some privacy."

"So we're alone?"

She nodded.

Immediately, his lips were crushed against hers, his arms wrapped around her waist. She would never admit this out loud, but as soon as he kissed her, she felt whole again. The entire week he'd been gone, she had felt some important piece missing, some disconnect that kept her at arm's' length from the world around her.

At first, she thought she was getting sick, or the stress was finally getting to her. Effie had been a giant pain in the ass since she had skipped that interview with Glamour.

But every time Katniss received a text that wasn't from Peeta, that hole where the missing piece should have been ached. It was strange, like phantom pain, the ache from a limb she kept forgetting had been cut off.

It terrified her.

All she wanted to do was run away from him. She couldn't take this connection, this longing, this dependency she had formed.

But all she could do was kiss him back, pull him closer. All she could do was stay.

With only one week of vacation left, Peeta came over every night after work. Annie insisted on leaving the two of them alone, even when Prim stayed behind. It was strange since Annie had only a handful of friends outside of Katniss and preferred hanging out at home, but Katniss appreciated her friend's effort. She was going to have to make it up to Annie big time once Peeta returned to California.

Monday night, they ordered pizza and drained a bottle of wine, and watched some ridiculous Disney Channel movie that Prim insisted on putting on. Peeta didn't complain. He actually laughed a few times, which Katniss blamed on the alcohol.

Tuesday, Prim went to the library to study with Rue. Peeta cooked meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and mixed vegetables, but it grew cold on the kitchen table as he and Katniss made out on the couch.

Wednesday, they finally ate their meatloaf dinner, reheated in the microwave.

Thursday and Friday vanished in a blink of an eye, with dinner, laughter, and another bottle of wine. When Katniss thought of the following week, of empty evenings after work, she panicked. She hadn't been kidding when she said she had a life before Peeta Mellark. She could manage without him.

But she wasn't sure she wanted to.

Work was excruciating, and often the only thing that got her through the day was the thought that Peeta would be home waiting for her, with takeout or a home cooked meal.

He kept her company in the kitchen as she did the dishes.

He massaged her shoulders and asked her questions about work.

They took turns picking movies to watch and teased the other on their poor taste.

At some point, without realizing it, Peeta had sort of become her boyfriend. They had created this warm, happy domestic life - something Katniss had been certain she had never wanted. It was all so...normal.

But now she couldn't imagine her life another way. They had yet to discuss what would happened when he returned to LA, but she knew the answer. There was only one option.

Saturday morning, Peeta's last full day in CT, a phone call woke Katniss up.

"Mm, hello?" she said into her cell phone. The phone rang again, and she realized she hadn't pressed the correct button on the touch screen. "Hello?" she tried again.

"Katniss? Hey."

"Peeta? What time is it?"

"Quarter after six."

Katniss sat up. Peeta was supposed to show up at nine, and take her on a scenic drive to Kent. He had promised warm spiced apple cider, another indie bookstore, and art installations that straddled the line between weird and pretentious. They were supposed to end up on a hike and have a private picnic, and, and - she knew, suddenly, that it wasn't going to happen.

"Do you have to fly back early?" she asked.

"No, nothing like that. But…" He sighed. "Haymitch booked me on the Ryan Seacrest show. There was a last minute cancellation, and I'm plugging the hole. I'm waiting for the train to arrive now."

"So you'll be back this afternoon?"

"Haymitch set up some meetings for me, including another interview with a different radio station."

Her sleepiness disappeared as disappointment took its place. Was last night really their final goodbye? Would they really never have that conversation? Even though she knew it could only end one way, she needed closure, or she'd never get past this.

"You're going to be in the city all day?" she asked, trying to keep the hurt from her voice. This wasn't his fault. This was his job.

"Yeah, but I'll be back tonight. I actually have a plan for the two of us."

"Yeah?" Hope sparked within her, but it flickered briefly before burning out. What did it matter if they saw each other one more time? What did it matter if she managed to get closure? Closure was an imaginary thing, an adult construct designed to make people pretend that their hurt no longer existed.

Last night, tonight, it didn't matter. It'd be over soon.

"Ever since I saw you in that green dress, I've been thinking of how I could get you to wear it again."

"You could ask," she said, a hint of laughter in her voice.

"That's a gorgeous dress. I need somewhere fitting to take you."

"I thought we couldn't do anything too public?"

"We can't. But don't worry. I've taken care of everything."

"The last time you took care of everything, my baby sister attended a dance in a dress I couldn't afford with a man eight years her senior."

"And she had a blast, didn't she?"

This time, she laughed. "Are you sure about tonight?"

"Positive. Can you meet me at The Black Pearl at seven?"

This was what she had wanted in the beginning. A nice dinner with the man she was interested in. She was excited, but at the same time, she'd be happy to stay hidden in her apartment for the rest of her life if it meant she could keep him.

"Yes," she said. "I can't wait."

While Katniss didn't have a Sirius XM subscription, Rue's family did, so Rue came over so she and Prim could listen to Peeta's interview on her cell phone app.

Katniss had no intention of listening in as she would see him that night, but Rue and Prim followed her into the kitchen, where they sat at the table while she cooked breakfast.

The first half of the interview flew by with easy banter and vague descriptions of District*4's next album. It was the second half that seized Katniss's attention and burned the scrambled eggs.

"So there's been a lot of rumors floating around about you and Cashmere Phillips," Ryan Seacrest said.

"So I've heard," Peeta replied.

Prim and Rue shared a look before glancing at Katniss. She was still facing the oven, but she was staring straight ahead at the cabinet above the stove.

"Any truth to them?"

"I can neither confirm or deny those rumors," Peeta said with a laugh.

"Alright, I understand your hesitation. Blink once to confirm, twice to deny."

There was a brief pause followed by laughter.

"Sorry, folks, he's just staring straight ahead without blinking. Oh, and now I'm getting lost in those blue eyes…"

More laughter followed. Katniss dumped the charred eggs and started over.

Rue and Prim didn't say a word.

The Black Pearl was located directly on the water in New Haven. Katniss had never been there, but she had checked their menu online. The prices hadn't been listed, which was never a good sign, but she had already decided that money wasn't a problem tonight. She just wanted to enjoy her last night with Peeta.

The parking lot was strangely empty when she pulled in. There were only three other cars. When she reached the front door, she found a Closed sign hanging in the window.

With a frown, she took a step back and looked up at the restaurant. The lights were on, but no one was there. Maybe they were under renovation? Maybe Peeta had meant a different Black Pearl? She was about to pull out her cell phone and text him when the door opened in front of her.

"Ah, you must be Miss Everdeen! Come in, come in," a young redheaded woman said, beckoning her inside.

Katniss hesitated briefly before entering the restaurant.

"Don't worry. Mr. Mellark will be joining us shortly. He didn't want you two arriving at the same time."

"Right," Katniss said. "Um, what's going on?"

"Come on this way," the woman said, grabbing two thick leather menus.

Katniss followed her. The back of the restaurant was completely open, giving way to a wraparound porch that sat on the water. The young woman pulled a chair out at a table for two.

"For you," she said.

Katniss took a seat, jumping slightly when the woman pushed her in.

"Can I grab you something to drink?"

"Just a water for now, thank you," Katniss replied.

As soon as the woman disappeared, Katniss looked around. There was a bar a few feet away up the stairs that led back into the restaurant, although there was no bartender. There were half a dozen tables on the deck, set with silverware but no diners to use them. She looked out at the black water and listened to the waves lapping gently against the deck's support beams.

A moment later, the redhead returned, a glass of water in hand, and Peeta in tow.

"God, you look amazing," he said by way of greeting. She stood up to hug him, and he surprised her with a kiss on the lips.

"Is this - are you - " she stuttered out, looking over at the server.

The server simply smiled, set down Katniss's water, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Everyone here - which is just the server, the cook, and the manager - have signed non-disclosure agreements," Peeta explained as they took their seats. "If anyone takes a picture or shares our relationship with the media, not only do I get to take them to court, but I'm pretty sure the ownership of the restaurant automatically transfers to me."

"Wow," she said. "Your own restaurant?"

"Trust me, that's not the outcome I'm planning on. Haymitch had a lawyer draw up the agreement."

"So you rented this entire place for us?" she asked.

"I wanted to take you out on a fancy dinner date, and I couldn't think of another way to do it." He studied her from across the table. "Are you mad?"

She thought about it for a second. She was surprised, excited, and a little confused, but no, she wasn't mad. Maybe that made her a hypocrite, especially when she considered how much this must have cost him. Tiffany sunglasses paled in comparison. But at the same time, the gesture made her feel special, cared for.

Loved.

She quickly shook the thought from her mind and smiled at him. "No, I'm not mad. I'm many things right now, but mad is not one of them."

"Good. I'm glad." He opened the menu. "Oh, they have a cheese and charcuterie board," he said. "Perfect appetizer."

Katniss tried to fight the blush that was creeping up her neck. "I have no idea what that is."

"Trust me, you'll love it."

Katniss studied the menu for another moment, but she couldn't stop the words bubbling up her throat. They were going to spill out with more anger than she intended if she didn't say them soon.

"I listened to your interview this morning."

"Yeah?" Peeta grinned. Was it her imagination, or did he look pleased that she had tuned in? "How'd I sound? I feel like I always sound weird on the radio."

"You sounded like yourself, but…"

"But what?"

"Those rumors about Cashmere. You didn't deny them."

Realization dawned across his face. "I forgot about that. You already knew about them though. You were joking around with me when I first got home."

"Yeah, but that was when other people were saying it. Not you."

"But I didn't say anything."

"You did though. You made it sound like you were together. Like you were keeping it a secret."

"I never respond to rumors. I never confirm or deny. And if I sounded, I don't know, coy this morning, it was because I'd rather have everyone believe I'm seeing Cashmere secretly then find out about you."

Katniss nodded. She knew, deep down, that he had been trying to protect her, but it still stung that the guy she...cared so much for had insinuated he had a relationship with another woman.

"Hey," Peeta said. He reached across the table and laid his hand over hers. "I'll deny it if I get asked again. If that's what you want."

She knew if she wanted to truly get angry, this was the moment. She could lash out, accuse him of not caring, but she knew it'd be childish. He hadn't done anything wrong. She was just trying to wedge some distance between the two of them before he left. But why ruin their last night together with an inane fight?

"No, don't change your interviewing philosophy because of me. I guess I'm just…" She trailed off with a shrug.

"Jealous?" he asked.

"Absolutely not."

He smiled at her over her menu, and she relaxed.

After they placed their order, the only sound was the water and the flickering flames of the portable fireplace that kept them warm.

It was a comfortable silence, warm and happy. It was the kind of silence Katniss could curl up in, spend her whole Sunday afternoon listening to. All of her frustration over his interview that morning was gone.

"I'm bummed we didn't get to spend the day together," she finally said. "But this is really nice."

"Thanks. Haymitch actually put this all together."

Katniss made a face and Peeta rolled his eyes.

"I think he wanted to make up for the interview in New York," Peeta explained. "He did a good job though."

She shrugged. "I changed my mind. This night is somewhat adequate."

He laughed. "I'm really going to miss you, you know."

Oh no. Here it was. The conversation she had been anticipating and dreading. "I'm going to miss you too."

Peeta opened his mouth to continue, but the server appeared then with their appetizer. She set down a wooden board covered with different meats and cheeses along with small hunks of bread.

"Oh my god," Katniss said, surveying the miniature feast in front of her. "This looks delicious."

"I thought you'd like it."

She took a piece of bread, placed small pieces of meat and cheese on it and took a bite. She hummed her approval.

"Try dipping it in honey," he suggested.

She dipped the second half of her mini sandwich into the cup of honey in the middle of the board. She held out her hand to catch any stray strands before popping it into her mouth.

"You're a genius," she said.

"I try."

Too soon, the board was empty and Katniss was nearly full. She had no idea how she was going to eat her entree.

"We could have just feasted on that," she said.

"Probably." He smiled, but she could see the tension in it, the way he had to force it. "Katniss, I don't want to break up."

She looked down at her empty plate. His words were an errant wave, carrying the good feelings away.

"We said we'd take it one day at a time," she said. "And today's the last day."

"But why does it have to be?"

"You know why," she said.

"Because I'll be in LA?"

"That's three thousand miles."

"So what? I can make the trip. Whenever we want to see each other, I can be here."

He sounded so earnest. She imagined he could make the trip quite easily. Whip out a credit card to book a flight, or even rent a private jet. But distance wasn't the only obstacle. "But what about your new album? Your bandmates? Your interviews and shows and the next tour? You lead a busy life."

"So do you," he said.

"Ten hour work days and nights in front of the television isn't exactly the same thing."

"You keep pointing out all the problems, all the differences we have. What about our similarities?"

"Like what?"

"Like I don't want to stop seeing you. Don't you feel the same way?"

"I…" She trailed off, suddenly afraid to admit it out loud.

"Katniss, I love you."

She stared at him, lips parted, a feeling she didn't recognize swirling through her. "You don't - you can't."

"Don't tell me how I feel," he said with a surprising amount of force. "I know that I think about you all the time. I miss you whenever we're apart. I know I'd rather give up my career than lose you."

She stood up, her chair scraping against the deck. She opened her mouth and then abruptly closed it and walked over to the railing overlooking the water. There were no words, nothing adequate anyway to express what she felt.

His declaration was too much, too big, and too soon.

Love was a trap. Love was misery waiting to happen. A relationship always ended one way or another, and pain was the only result.

"Katniss." His breath was warm on her cheek. She shivered now that she was no longer near the fireplace. He wrapped an arm around her.

"I can't," she said.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. He lingered there, his nose in her hair, as he rubbed small circles on her back.

She looked up at him. "It won't work. Why drag it out? It's just going to hurt more later."

He kissed her then because it was the only answer he had. She clung to him as if he was the only thing keeping her from falling, crashing into the water below them.

When he pulled away, she stared up at him, her throat tight, and said, "I've never been in love before."

"No?"

"I'm not sure I know what it feels like."

"You'll know it when you feel it," he said.

He rested his forehead against hers, and she thought of every good thing that had happened between them over the last month.

She took a deep breath and thought, why not? It already hurt. Keeping it in might be more painful than saying it.

"I think I might love you too," she whispered.

He stared at her, a little awestruck at her confession. This time, she kissed him, her hand snaking up his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt.

Someone cleared their throat behind him. The server stood in front of the table, their plates balanced on a tray.

"Can we take those to go?" Peeta asked.

She remembered wanting to go slow, of insisting on it. She remembered longing to run away as far and as fast as she possibly could.

The memories turned to dust as Peeta pressed her against his hotel room door, his tongue exploring her mouth, his hand up her dress.

Nothing was settled between them. The future was still murky, a giant question mark that neither one could begin to answer.

But in that moment, it didn't matter.

Peeta's other hand found the zipper along her back. He slipped the dress off her shoulders, leaving her clad only in a bra and panties. She undid his tie and threw it in the direction of the bed. Their fingers fumbled together as they unbuttoned his shirt.

Suddenly, Katniss pulled away. He trailed kisses down the side of her face, stopping to suck on her pulse point. His lips were still against her throat when she said, "Wait."

"Too fast?" he asked, looking down. Her dress was a green puddle at her feet.

"No, it's just…" She bit her lip. "I've only been with one other person."

"Okay," he said.

She stared at him expectantly, and he frowned.

"I'm sorry – should that make me reconsider or something?"

"No, I just feel…inexperienced next to you," she said.

"Katniss, how many girls do you think I've been with?"

She blushed and looked away. "I don't know. More than one."

"Try three."

She glanced up at him. "Three?" she echoed. "That's it?"

"Yes, that's it. I've only been in one serious relationship, and that was in high school."

"Oh."

"I told you, you can't believe everything you read."

"It's not that. I just thought…" She shrugged. "You can have any girl you want."

"Well, I don't want every girl."

She laughed. "I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

Peeta's smile faded as he tugged at the ends of her hair, his knuckles brushing against her breast. "I don't think anything's ruined," he said, his voice low.

He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her toward the bed. He sat on the edge, and she climbed into his lap. They kissed slowly, leisurely, like they had all the time in the world. Katniss imagined they might. The world outside was dark, lit up only by stars, and this night could easily stretch on forever.

Peeta fell back onto the mattress, pulling her with him. As her hands made quick work of his belt, she forgot about the dark, the stars, the entire world outside his window. The only things that existed were this room, this bed, the two of them entwined.

A moment later, when he asked if she was sure, she wanted to tell him she had never been more uncertain about anything in her life. She had never been more scared. But at the same time, she had never wanted anything as badly either.

So she kissed him softly and said, "Yes."

Katniss woke some time after two. Panic seized her when she realized she was not in her apartment. Finding Peeta asleep beside her did nothing to assuage her anxiety.

She had fallen asleep? She had never planned on staying over. The last thing she remembered was resting her head on his chest, his heartbeat steady in her ear, while he threaded his fingers through her hair. It had felt good, too good apparently, as it had soothed her right into sleep.

But she remembered something else, something he had said as she drifted off:

"Now there's no way I'm letting you go."

She carefully slipped out of bed, found her purse discarded by the door, and closed herself in the bathroom.

She was surprised to find no missed calls or frantic text messages. In fact, there was only one text, and it was devoid of exclamation points or question marks.

Annie: Hey, Katniss. Don't worry. Prim is with me tonight. I fed her dinner, and we're watching movies on the couch with Rue. Don't rush home. We'll see you whenever. :)

Katniss breathed a sigh of relief. What would she do without Annie? Not only did she look after Prim, but she always made sure Katniss was happy.

Katniss mentally scolded herself for falling asleep. She was Prim's guardian, and it was her responsibility to make sure Prim ate dinner. She was supposed to make sure Prim was safe and cared for. While it was nice of Annie to assume the role for the evening, it wasn't her job.

Katniss sighed. She'd worry about this later. For now, all her loved ones were safe, and she was exhausted.

She carefully crept back into bed, but Peeta stirred, his eyes fluttering open.

He gave her a sleepy smile. "Hey." He lifted his arm up, and she slipped beneath it.

Within moments, she was fast asleep.

The next morning, she sat perched on the bed while he finished packing. She felt like she was sinking, like there was a black hole in her chest, sucking every good feeling out of her body.

Peeta closed his suitcase and zipped it up. He was back in his trademark jeans and hoodie. His usual baseball cap waited on the dresser next to his messenger bag.

"I could stay," he said suddenly, looking up at her. "For another couple of weeks. Maybe even a month."

"Peeta…"

"I could. The guys don't really need me. Not yet."

"You're supposed to start recording your new album."

He dropped down beside her on the bed. "Just the thought is exhausting."

"What? You don't want to do it?"

"I don't know. It's our fourth album. Every time we record something, I think, 'This is it. This is the one that'll be universally panned. This is the one that ends our career.'"

"That's just nerves," Katniss said, grabbing his arm. "You could record yourself singing the alphabet, and it'd probably still hit number one."

He shook his head, stared down at their entwined fingers. There was more on his mind. She could tell from the expression on his face. "It's just...there are more important things than music. Sometimes it feels like a waste of time."

"It doesn't feel like a waste to those millions of fans you have."

"I'm sorry. I know I sound ungrateful."

"It's okay to want something different," she said.

He kissed her forehead, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to come visit as soon as I can," he said.

The idea of another visit was intoxicating, but she had to resist it. This was it. She'd be lucky to see him the next time he came through Connecticut on tour.

"Okay," she said. She didn't want to share her negativity. She wanted every last second she had with him to be perfect.

He skimmed the side of her face, pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. His kiss tasted like the peppermint toothpaste the hotel had provided. He still smelled like the honey they had dipped their bread in the night before.

When he pulled away, her throat threatened to close up as she willed her tears away. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't.

"I'm coming back," he said.

She nodded vigorously because she couldn't speak, not without opening the floodgate that currently held back her tears.

"I am," he repeated. "And we'll text each other. All the time."

She nodded again. Of course. But she remembered their busy schedules, the way they never seemed to be available at the same time.

And of course there was Cashmere Phillips and dozens of women like her waiting for Peeta to return to LA. Peeta had played at being a normal guy, but it was time for him to return to his real life.

"Katniss?" She looked up at him, and he kissed her again. "I love you."

She smiled, but she couldn't say the words back.

She hadn't been lying when she said she had never been in love before. She had cared for Cato, and his loss stung, but she had been much too busy, too emotionally numb to fall apart.

Peeta, apparently, hadn't been lying when he said she'd know love when she felt it. She had always known love was pain, heartache, and she felt it now, lying in Annie's bed, crying against her roommate's shoulder.

Peeta had only been gone for twelve hours, and already she was a mess. But this was it, she promised herself. She could cry as much and as hard as she wanted tonight, but tomorrow, things would return to normal. She had the work week to tackle, and a sister to take care of, and a life to live. Everything didn't stop because the man she loved had gone home. It couldn't.

Prim burst into the bedroom. "Katniss!"

"Hey, Prim," she responded, not bothering to pick up her head.

"Why weren't you answering your phone?"

"My phone?" she echoed. She patted her pocket and checked Annie's nightstand table. "It must be in the living room. I'm sorry." She held out her hand to invite Prim to join her sobfest on the bed, but Prim shook her head.

"You need to see this," she said, typing furiously on her phone.

"Prim, I'm really not in the mood for gossip columns right now."

"Trust me," Prim said. "It's important."

Katniss and Annie both sat up against the headboard. Prim handed over her phone.

"Peeta Mellark Stepping Out on Cashmere Phillips with Unidentified Girl" read the headline. Below it was a picture of Katniss and Peeta sharing one last kiss in front of his rental car. Her back was to the camera. Unfortunately, a few more pictures followed, one of Peeta getting into the car and another of Katniss walking away.

"Oh my god!" Katniss exclaimed. She jumped off the bed and ran out into the living room where she found her cell phone sitting on the arm of the couch.

17 missed calls

37 unread text messages

32 Facebook notifications

15 emails

"Well?" Prim asked, trying to look over her sister's shoulder.

"Looks like I didn't stay unidentified for long."