Ducky: "You believe they're still alive?
Vance: "They are alive."
He wasn't proud of it.
Hell, after almost three months, who wouldn't wonder?
There were only so many nights he could endure talking Abigail down from the ledge. After a while, he knew he was lying to her.
"We must have faith Abigail."
"They will come home to us."
"I am sure they are holding on."
If there was anything his seasoned life had taught him, it was to face reality. It wasn't helping anyone to hold onto false hope. It would only destroy the present.
It was about 38th day of no word that he found himself at an unfamiliar place. The two headstones gripped at his heart when he laid the flowers down.
"Didn't want you to think Jethro had forgotten about you." He smiled to himself. "Although, it is quite likely you know exactly where he is…." He glanced at the empty grave site beside them and looked upward. "Jethro once made it clear, that should he pass before me, he would want to be laid to rest here." Tears rested in his eyes now. "I take comfort in knowing that he has been reunited with you both. I only wish I could have said goodbye…I'm unclear how to move forward from here."
It was then he felt a few rains drops begin to fall. He didn't move. It soon began to pour and he remained there, an all familiar evening coming to his mind and heart. He remembered the cool steel behind his neck as Ari pressed it into him from behind. He had thought then, his life would end. That he would soon join Kate in her fate. But, life offered him another chance. A small part of him hoped Gibbs and McGee would be given one too.
"I suppose if I am to say goodbye, this would be a fitting place to do so." He knelt down slowly and sat in silence for a few moments. "It appears I outlived you dear boy, not my intention I assure you. I had hoped to enjoy my last year's reminiscing old stories with you over scotch…I had hoped to watch Timothy become a Father as I had Anthony. I did not know you when you were a Father, but I have no doubt you were as gracious and kind as they man I met so many years ago. I do not want to move on with life without you Jethro…but I know I must. For everyone's sake." He set down his final bouquet of now, soaked flowers and stood up.
"I wish I had met you Shannon, and dearest Kelly…but I take comfort in knowing he is with you now."
The rain let up, only as he began to walk away. Tomorrow was another day. Life, as miserable as it felt, went on. Time still passed. The bodies still came. The one constant he could count on. Hope was a luxury he could not afford.
Not anymore.