My life had always been a little different from most girls I knew. When I was little, I was the prettiest, smartest, funniest, most perky little first grader my teacher ever did saw. Shoot me, please. Middle School was similar, and my parents forced dance, piano, choir, theater, debate, and any other team what ever they could find. I'm not tall. I played basketball, tennis, volleyball, and soft ball. I was a cheer leader. My GOD could I have done MORE in school other THAN school? I think not. They wanted their pretty little daughter to be an actress, and a well-rounded one at that.

I swear, the Only thing I liked about school was science. I was more than thrilled to take biology. I skipped the school musical auditions to go to the Living Brain exhibate at the local museum with my science club. My parets grounded me, and tried to get another audition. I blew it on purpose. I hate acting, I don't like singing, and the other girl really wanted to play Maria in the damn play. She was going to peak at 16, so who am I to stop her?

In my senior year of high school, at the football game, the other Cheerleaders introduced me to a transfer student. Brian Cameron. He was an ROTC boy, drill team; he could twirl a gun like no other. Caught my attention. My parents weren't too happy. They wanted to see me with Joe, captain of the football team, grew up next door to me, big blue eyes to match my own. Brian had brown. He was a true sweet heart.

After graduation, we went to school together. I was pre-med, as was he. My parents were at least happy I went on scholership via theater. Brian was going on Mom and Dad's dime. He was very smart. I fell in-love with him on our prom night, when he walked me to my father's front door and made sure I was home, safe and sound, instead of going to get drunk at some party. "Allie, you're too good for those things," he'd said as we drove home. He gained my father's respect. Joe tried to talk us into going to a party, but Brian wouldn't hear of it. He was to have me home by midnight, and be home by 12:15. He'd given his word, and a man is only as good as his word.

After the second year of school, we lay on the grass outside of his dorm staring at the moon. He had a headache, and the fresh air helped. He'd been sick, and spent a week at home with his parents going to the doctor and what-not. I was worried, but I figured he'd tell me what was wrong, if anything.

"Al," he said. "I'm sick."

"What's wrong?"

"Some kind of cancer. Thyroid. I'm leaving to go home to start treatment." I stared at him a long time. He was scared. I tried to comfort him, hold him, reassure him he would be okay, but he was just scared. "My mom will be here in the morning to help me move back home."

"I'm coming with you," I told him. "I'll be ready in half an hour." I stood to go pack my things.

"You'll lose the scholership."

"I'm not going to let you sit in a hospital alone," I told him. He kissed me. He was shaking, and he looked me in the eyes. I never felt so scared in my life.

"Allison, I love you." He kissed my forehead. "I'm not going to let you throw away your chance at med school."

"And I'm not going to leave my boyfriend of 3 years to be alone in a hospital bed, fighting cancer. Med school can wait. You can't."

"Marry me."

"What?"

"I may only have a year at most to live, but I want to spend it with you, Allie. I want to marry you, tonight, please marry me?" I looked into his hands. He was holding his grandmother's ring. He'd visited her several months ago. Brian had been planning this before he had cancer. "Allison Sharp, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"Yes," I heard myseld whisper. I felt the ring slip onto my finger, and his lips cover mine. I was engaged.

Five months later, we were married. Our honeymoon was cut short when he passed out on the beach the 4th day in Maui. The doctors told us the cancer spread to his brain, and there wasn't much time. Take him home, keep him comfortable. It was easy at first. He stayed around the house, goofing around with me and Joe. We spent evenings on the porch swing of our house. We hadn't unpacked our new little house yet, and While he rested, I put things away. We found out after 5 months I was pregnant. Quite pregnant, actually. I was 4 months along. What I'd passed over as a stomach bug and stress was morning sickness. Brian was thrilled. At this point he slept most of the time. I'd managed to get the nursery decorated while he rested one weekend with the help of Joe. We put pictures of Brian all over the room. I swear, there were at least 40.

The day after we found out the gender of our baby, Brian had a stroke. He died in my arms on the way to the hospital. I was 22 years old, pregnant, and a widow. Less than a month after that, I lost the baby. Mom said it was the stress of the funeral, and losing Brian. Joe thinks it was the stress of falling in-love with my dying husband's best friend. I never cheated, but there was stress, and that's why I lost her. I never cried. I was all cried out from losing Brian.

I went back to medical school the following fall. Brian's parents helped me pack up and sell the house. In his will, he left me more than enough money to go to school, buy a new home, and never really work again. He set me up for life. After I finished medical school and started working, I donated the rest to cancer research in his name. I kept his name. My parents couldn't understand that, but it wasn't their place to.

And then I met House.

He was the exact opposite of Brian. He was harsh, cruel, and loud where Brian was gentle and quiet. It had taken me 5 years to move on with my life enough to look at another man, and I fall in-love with THIS GUY? Brian would laugh at me for THIS manuver. I don't believe in God, or heaven and hell, but Wherever Brian is, he's getting pissy with House.

I don't know what is so damned sexy about him. I wonder if Brian would approve. Of course he would want me to be happy, but would Greg House make me happy?

Kalvin caughed tainted blood on me. I was dying. Maybe. Maybe not. When it came time to find out, I couldn't do it. House said to me, 'I love you,' with as much passion in his voice as Brian on our wedding night when we first made love. It wasn't what he said that made my jaw drop, it was his voice. He sounded like an older version of Brian.

He opened my test results. I was so mad at him. But thinking back, I know it was because he wanted to know. If it was bad news, he'd tell me himself, in his own way. He loved me. I was still quite pissed. Cuddy wanted him hung. Wilson tried! Stacy laughed. I hated her for it.

I hated her for a lot of things. She hurt Greg House, the most stable, unfeeling man in the world, and she cut him down like a dead tree. And she hurt him again 9 months later when she handed us Olivia.

He was a father, lost, and scared. When I took the baby from him, I looked into her eyes. She reminded me of what I was going to have with Brian. Naturally, I fell in-love with the baby the first day. She was small, helpless, and with a man who couldn't take care of her. At least he would let me in.

So there I was later that day, unpacking boxes, sorting through Brian's things, my old things, and the clothes that we bought for our daughter, to give to a man who I love, who may never love me. I heard Brian's voice in my head when I gathered the boxes. "Love him," it said.

I never wanted to fall in-love again. I was happy with Brian, and he was taken from me. Now here I stand, with my daughter in my arms, getting ready to marry Greg House. I'm much more nervous this time around, and its so different than marrying Brian. I was happy to be marrying him, and now I'm happy to be marrying Greg, but its not the same. Do I take his name or keep Brian's? Where are we going to live? Does Liv call me Allie or Mommy? Is the judge going to buy this, or will we lose Liv to Stacy?

I can't think straight, and I hand over Liv so I can marry Greg. It suddenly clicks in my head. Brian would be happy for me, and my parents will deal with things as they come, as will I as a mother. Life will work itself out for the best. Look at Greg; he's down to the prescribed Vicodin, he's in physio, and clean-shaven. Liv and I did that for him. He WANTS to be a better man for us, and I want to be a better woman for him. I want to be Allison House. I'm in-love, and I'm part of a family now. Its weird, all of it. Life.

Life is just...weird.