A/N: I hope everyone had a great holiday! I know I did. This chapter is most likely a little rougher than the others; I took several days off from writing so I could spend the time with my family, so forgive any glaringly bad grammar. I'm still not happy with this chapter but I'm going to let it stand for now and will edit the heck out of it later on.
Miaka stared at the palace surrounding her and tried not to gawk. The echoing halls were cavernous and thus far, completely empty. She hadn't been quite sure what to expect from a friend of Chichiri's, but whatever it was, this was not it. It made her feel very small and insignificant, and all the impersonal white stone made her vaguely apprehensive. She had the suspicion that she'd been somewhere like this in her empty past, and she wasn't entire appreciative of the awareness.
Tasuki seemed uncomfortable as well. His amber eyes were scanning the hallways rapidly, restless. She thought it odd that once he had checked all the visible areas, he started going over it all again, like he expected something to suddenly appear from nowhere. Well, why not? Hadn't they just popped in here in that same fashion, via Chichiri's amazing hat? Maybe this stretch of hallway was a way station of sorts, for travelers who were lucky enough to have a hat of their own, or maybe everyone here could teleport... but that was ridiculous. Obviously Tasuki couldn't, so it must be restricted to monks. Maybe this was a monastery. It certainly seemed quiet enough for one, and there was definitely an air of sanctity around the place.
It made sense. Chichiri seemed comfortable here. He rose from the kasa with a faint smile on his face, looking very much at home, although he'd already told Miaka he had a small house on the Dongting Lake. Still, Miaka thought Chichiri belonged here as well, as much as he did anywhere. She wanted to ask him about where they were, but it seemed wrong, somehow, to disturb the peace and solitude, even if it did leave her a little unnerved.
Tasuki had no such qualms, however. "So why ain't Grandma popped out at us yet? Seems a bit weird, her not bein' here and all after she's the one who sent us off ta go get...," the bandit grumbled, his arms folded obstinately across his chest. He trailed off after a sharp glare from Chichiri but still look put out.
To go get me? Miaka wondered, but said nothing. Whatever it was Tasuki was going to say, it was clear that Chichiri had not wanted it spoken. But why wouldn't Tasuki be happier at the prospect of seeing his grandmother, and why would she be the one to send anyone off to find her? She rubbed her fingertips on her temples, taking the edge off her rapidly-growing headache. Not a single thing was clear to her, and the more she thought, the less sense anything made.
"Miaka," Chichiri said softly, putting his hand briefly on her arm to capture her wandering attention. "I want to give you an idea of what might happen, so you won't be alarmed. The person we're here to see-"
"Won't be leaping at her out of any closets, so there's nothing to be alarmed about," a dry voice stated wryly behind Miaka. She spun around as Tasuki bit off a yelp, and Chichiri gave a sigh.
"She's- she's- ah, floating," Miaka stammered, her eyes wide, as she clutched Tasuki's arm. She could see him wince out of the corner of her vision, but felt unable to pry her traitorous fingers from his flesh.
"She is," the wrinkled, ancient woman cackled as ribbons swirled around her compact form. "Welcome back to Mt. Taikyoku, Suzaku no miko."
"Suzaku," Miaka whispered, wondering why the word caused a bolt of pure adrenaline to shoot through her veins. She'd heard it before, she was certain. She felt chilled, then overly warm, in the span of seconds, and in that safe, hidden place in the back of her mind, she heard the triumphant cry of a phoenix. That she knew it was a phoenix was just as mysterious, because as far as she knew, she'd never heard a phoenix before and certainly couldn't tell it's cry from that of any other bird. She shook her head to clear out the ringing echo, and managed to find her voice. "I'm sorry, it's obvious I should know who you are, but I'm afraid I don't remember much of anything right now. I hope you're not offended." She lowered her eyes respectfully and hoped she wasn't making an idiot of herself. Somehow, the aged women hovering before her commanded respect.
One wizened hand, liver spotted and heavily lined with age, reached out and lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet those of the strange woman. "Oh, child," the woman murmured softly, her eyes filled with sympathy and... grief? But before Miaka could wonder about what she saw, the hand dropped and the elderly form turned and floated briskly down the hallway. "Well? Are you waiting for a personal invitation? Move already!" the dry voice snapped, already several meters away, when it became clear the trio hadn't moved.
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Chichiri nudged Miaka forward, and the small group followed Taiitsukun down a maze of hallways, all as desolate and white as the first, before they came to her main chamber. He remembered spending countless hours here, kneeling on the floor until his bones ached, as Taiitsukun barked out instructions to "strengthen your ki! Protect yourself! You call that a shield?" And then she'd toss a blast at him that would knock him on his ass, already bruised with from prior attempts, before demanding that he do it all over again. Only the now-developed strength of his mental control kept him from wincing at the memory.
To say the room wasn't his favorite would be an understatement.
However, today he was pleased, eager even, to enter, because it meant that hopefully, Taiitsukun would be taking the burden of Miaka's amnesia from his hands. Chichiri would happily go to the ends of the earth for his miko, but the fragility of her condition frightened him. He knew that one wrong decision, one seemingly insignificant choice, could shatter her hold on reality forever, and he was terrified by that. He'd been in this position once before, between the proverbial rock and a hard place, and it had ended with Hikou's death. He'd made a choice, and had to live with the unbearable consequences. While he had come to grips with what had happened in his youth, Miaka was infinitely more precious to him. He was more than happy to pass on the responsibility, assuming Taiitsukun would let him, and concentrate on keeping Miaka happy and physically safe.
As if she heard his thoughts, Taiitsukun turned her head sharply and stared at him, pinning him where he stood with the strength of her probing gaze. She waved her hand, and cushions appeared before them, but Chichiri made no move to kneel, instead focusing on keeping his mind blank under the scrutiny of his former mentor.
She pursed her lips and focused on the thick, fibrous scar that cut across the left side of his face. He waited, expression impassive, until she murmured, "No, I think not," and turned her attentions to the bandit standing on the other side of Miaka. Chichiri felt a pang of sympathy as his fellow seishi fidgeted under Taiitsukun's steely gaze. Even after spending years under the wizened being's tutelage, he was still disconcerted by the power radiating from those narrowed eyes.
And then, abruptly, she spoke, folding her hands before her and directing her attentions to the woman standing beside him.
"You are correct, Miaka, when you say you know me. You know me as Taiitsukun, and I assisted you many years ago on a mission of some importance. Your mind is blocking those memories, as they relate somewhat directly to the extended trauma that has caused your current state of memory loss. I could have Nyan-Nyan bring those memories back, but I will not."
Tasuki stiffened. "Why th' hell not?" he ground out, outrage clear in his posture and expression.
Given the ferocity on his friend's face, Chichiri was relieved to hear the bandit's language was much milder than he expected. Tasuki was finally learning, he thought sardonically.
"Because, you impetuous hothead, I prefer Miaka with her sanity intact- or do you want her to break under the weight of memories her mind is at present unable to handle?" Taiitsukun glared at the redhead, her tone stating clearly that she would tolerate no argument from the seishi standing before her.
"It's ok, Tasuki," Miaka said softly, brushing his arm with her fingertips. "I understand, and I agree with Taiitsukun that it's for the best."
Chichiri spoke up. "Taiitsukun, will Miaka recover her memories eventually, no da?"
"I believe it will be so, when she is stronger. They may come slowly, when she will be better equipped to deal with what she had been through. You are giving her schisandra?"
He nodded, and Tasuki interrupted suspiciously, "What's that?"
Chichiri shifted his attention to his friend in explanation. "The five flavor fruit, no da. Magnolia vine is also known as schisandra."
Taiitsukun nodded, satisfied, and directed her statement to Miaka. "Continue to take the tea twice a day, and pay attention to your dreams. I suspect it is there that your memories will first manifest. That's all." The Nyan-Nyan popped into existence next to Miaka and tugged her shirt sleeve.
"Come come! I'll show you to your rooms, bring you some food, have a bath run for you. Come come!"
As the trio turned away, Taiitsukun spoke once more. "Remain behind, Chichiri. You have something to discuss with me?"
He waved his friends away. "Go ahead, no da. I'll catch up to you in a while."
He waited until Nyan-Nyan had led them away before settling down on the cushion and bowing reverently to his mentor. She acknowledged him with an imperious nod of her head.
"Miaka suspects that she does not belong to this world," he stated, settling back comfortably, seeking counsel from the Controller.
"As it should be. Just continue as you have been, Houjun, and answer her questions when she has reached the answer for herself. It really is the most compassionate thing for her right now. Perhaps when she is stronger, she can be told more." Taiitsukun folded her hands in front of her and gazed serenely at him, a marked change from the iron-willed mental interrogation only minutes before.
"The Seiryuu no miko said something to me, in Miaka's world. She said Miaka would be safe in the book." He watched her intently, wanting to catch any reaction the ancient being might have at the suggestion. Chichiri didn't believe it possible that the world he inhabited existed only within pages of ink and parchment, but he had also been able to scan the first page of the book during the first failed transport. The wording was certainly nebulous at best.
She snorted scornfully. "And you would take the word of a woman unschooled in matters of magic, miko or not? Our world no more exists in a book than does theirs. A portal, that's all," she said, waving her hand contemptuously as though to brush away any further assumptions. "To think otherwise is preposterous."
"The wording-"
"Was an atrocious translation, all things considered." She wrinkled her nose, the distaste on her face making it apparent exactly what she thought of the flawed translation.
He couldn't help it; his mouth dropped open and he gaped at Taiitsukun, his mind grasping at a billion different possibilities. He'd mulled over Yui's statement several times since his visit to her world, thought he had mapped out the most logical conclusion, but never once had he considered anything like this. "There are more books? And in different languages? Are they all portals?"
"Do you think there are only four gods that protect four empires that happen to border each other, and nothing else? Are other empires left with nothing? And what of the lands far away over the sea, lands that haven't yet been discovered by the majority of the human race, because they do exist, I assure you, Suzaku no Shichiseishi Chichiri. Have you forgotten so soon that nature demands a balance? Your time spent with Fang Boy is dulling your wits perhaps?"
His jaw snapped shut as his mind raced. "No, of course not... it makes sense. If there's a patron god for every land, then there would need to be a miko for each one, and certainly they couldn't all come from Miaka's time and country. There would have to be a larger population to draw from, far more candidates to assure cultural understanding and language similarities, so each empire would get a miko tailored for it, no da. Perhaps the mikos come from worlds other than Miaka's, as well- if there are two worlds, why not three, or a hundred! It's amazing!"
Taiitsukun gave an indignant glare. "Yes, you'd almost think the gods had something to do with it, wouldn't you?"
Chichiri bowed low at the rebuke, his forehead brushing the cool floor. "Of course their plans wouldn't necessarily be understood by a lowly monk. Forgive my impertinence, Taiitsukun."
"Oh, get up. No harm done, just the usual blather from a finite mind trying to grasp the infinite. Believe it or not, I have heard it before." Her wrinkled cheeks twitched as she gave a tight-lipped smirk.
He left out a breath, thankful that he hadn't overstepped his bounds. "Your pardon, Taiitsukun, but back in Miaka's world, the portal spell... I shouldn't have been able to do it. I felt..."
"I know. And you didn't do it. The credit goes to your miko."
"Miaka! But she was catatonic, still locked away, and the book didn't respond to her at all the first time. How?" It had been a long time since he'd been so startled by a series of revelations, and he had to admit he wasn't fond of being so unsettled. He had a feeling that a good portion of his evening would be spent in meditations, seeking calmness and clarity.
Taiitsukun peered at him, her glittering eyes hard, before answering. "I believe the ki drain on yourself and Tasuki had something to do with it. You were both too depleted to open the portal, and I suspect that Miaka took over instinctively, in order to prevent you from draining yourselves to the point of injury."
"She stepped in to save us." He tried to swallow, but found the automatic motion hampered by the large lump in his throat. He felt distinctly unworthy, but incredibly blessed to be able to call Miaka Yuuki a friend.
"Indeed. Now, was there anything else?"
She looked vaguely impatient, but Chichiri chanced one more question. "What happened to Tamahome?"
She met his challenging gaze directly, and he steeled himself to be dismissed without an explanation. However, Taiitsukun was in a rare mood, and instead of ordering him from her sight, she spoke softly. "His spirit passed from Miaka's world. He will be reborn, although I can not say when or where."
"So he lost his life before they met again." The lump in his throat grew tighter still, and he regretting that Taiitsukun had answered. Probably why she did, he ruminated. She was fond of saying that one should not ask questions if one is not ready to know the answers. He would add a prayer for the spirit of his brother seishi to his evening meditations.
"Precisely. Now go, join your friends. I've been kept from my work long enough, and we'll speak again soon."
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Tasuki was getting antsy again. Nyan-Nyan had shown the miko to a room, and then directed him a bit further down the same hall. Now, he was watching the small spirit flit around the room he'd been given, pointing out all the amenities a visitor to Mt. Taikyoku was provided. All that was fine and good, but what he really wanted was a chance to go talk to Miaka, to try to make up for the rudeness he had shown her the night before and at breakfast. He wanted to get it over with, because the longer he put it off the more his gut clenched, and right about now he was thinking he was the worst sort of asshole.
He gritted his teeth and contemplated giving the flying sprite a swat, but he imagined Taiitsukun wouldn't take well to having her servants batted across a room due to his impatience to speak with Miaka. The mental image of the ancient being, her jowls quivering with fury before she smote him out of existence, was enough to stay his hand.
"-and here in this corner, we have the softest of feather beds, carefully plumped-"
He sighed inwardly, did his best to feign interest until Nyan-Nyan popped out of existence, and bolted out the door and down the hall as soon as he was able. He was about ten feet from the door to Miaka's room when Nyan-Nyan reappeared, bringing his progress to a screeching halt.
"I almost forgot- here!" Nyan-Nyan smiled brightly, holding out a white ball of fur tipped with brown.
The hell? Tasuki thought, while reaching for the bundle. As his fingers stretched around...whatever it was... it let out a raspy meow, and he smiled.
"Well hey there, Tama," he crooned, helping the old cat up onto his shoulder. Quite a bit fatter and now slightly arthritic, the elderly kitty had stayed with Chichiri after Mitsukake's death and benefited greatly from the monk's lakeside home. Tasuki had once teased Chichiri that the full reason he had settled on the water was to provide enough fish for the cat's voracious appetite. Taiitsukun must have sent Nyan-Nyan to fetch him when Chichiri left for Miaka's world. "How ya been? Chiri's gonna be glad ta see ya!" He scratched the kitty under the chin, causing Tama to stretched his heck out while purring contently.
He continued his journey to Miaka's room at a slower pace to accommodate for the cat now hitching a ride. When she answered his knock, her mouth formed a little "O" of surprise when she caught sight of the animal perched on his shoulder.
"Who's this?" she asked, holding her hand out tentatively for the cat to sniff.
"Another old friend. This is Tama, an' he's been livin' with Chiri since th' war."
Miaka smiled when the cat renew his purring, then giggled delightedly when he sprang forward to land on her shoulder. She reached up and buried her fingers in the cat's soft fur while he nuzzled her cheek.
Tasuki blinked. "Well, hell. I ain't seen him move like that in five years or more. I think he remembers you." Lucky bastard of a cat, he thought, watching Tama rub against Miaka's skin, purring up a storm. Yeah, buddy, I don't blame ya one bit.
She stood aside to let Tasuki enter the room, her attentions focused on the animal curled up on her shoulder. "I wish I remembered you, kitty-kun, but it's alright because we can be great friends again, starting today, ok?" Tama mewed and snuggled a little closer.
"Listen, Miaka..." Tasuki stood in the middle of the room, uncomfortable with the mask of politeness of his miko's face. "I'm sorry 'bout last night, an' today as well. I ain't got any excuses for my behavior, but I'm sorry if I hurt ya."
To his immense relief, she graced him with a sincere smile. "Thank you, Tasuki. It means a lot to me, and I want to apologize as well, if it was something I said or did that caused your reaction."
"No, no, nothin' like that," he hastened to assure her, lying through his teeth, "Ya didn't do anythin' wrong, it was just me bein' an idiot. It happens." He felt bad about his falsehood, but how could he tell her that the song hit a little too close to the truth? No, better to fib for now, and one day, if the time was right, he would come clean and tell her the truth about it and his reaction. One day. He clung to that hope.
She sighed, and lowered herself to the side of the bed, tucking her feet underneath her. Tama leaped from Miaka's shoulder and curled into her lap, his rusty purr loud and comforting. "It's really maddening, you know, not knowing if I've inadvertently said or done something wrong, because I don't remember anything. I'm afraid of saying something totally insensitive, just because I don't know any better."
She looked so defeated, sitting there staring at the ground, that he felt his heart contract painfully. He moved towards her, intending to sit beside her, then thought better of it and seated himself on the floor in front of the bed. "Mi-chan, don't worry about it, ok? Chiri and I, we've been yer friends for a long time now, and we know that you'd rather die than hurt yer friends. So even if ya do bring up somethin' that might be painful for us ta hear, it's not a big deal, got it? Cause we know ya. And Taiitsukun said she was sure yer memories were gonna come back! So this is just a..." he cast his hand around, trying to find the right words, "..a temporary inconvenience."
"I appreciate that, Tasuki," came the quiet reply, and he smiled, relieved to have another emotional crisis over. He was getting pretty good at this, he considered, although he certainly wouldn't want to have to deal with the emotions of any random female.
She gazed at him, her expression open and friendly, and he wondered what he did in his past life to deserve the friendship of such a woman in this one. She was extraordinary, while he... he was just a bandit. But somewhere along the lines, Suzaku had decreed that he was good enough to protect her, and while he wasn't a religious man, he never forgot to whisper a prayer of thanks to the god for the privilege of knowing Miaka. That he was also able to love her, even if it was unrequited, was just the pretty bow on top of the package.
"So whadda ya say to us gettin' Nyan-Nyan ta bring us somethin' ta eat? I'm a bit sick of camp grub myself." He knew it was the right thing to suggest when her eyes brightened and she leaped up, dislodging Tama and sending the cat sprawling across the bed.
"Do you think they have sweet bean cakes?"
A rather grumpy meow from Tama had her excitement turning into instant contrition. "Oh, I'm sorry, Tama. You had just gotten nice and comfortable too! I guess I'm just a little hungry." An angry growl from her stomach had her turning pink with embarrassment, and Tasuki laughed, relieved to have the tension of the morning gone.
"C'mon, Mi-chan. We'll see about some food, and maybe a nice fish for Tama, ta make up for being tossed aside in favor of bean cakes." He reached out and took her hand to pull her forward towards the door, and caught site of Tama out of the corner of his eye, as the cat settled back down, demurely licking his paws.
Had the cat just winked at him?