The Bureau of Unexpected Tales

I loved Chapter 380 of KHR. Mukuro seems…different, somehow. And I adore it. And because he's just that much of a sex god…ahem. I lied when I said this chapter wouldn't be around for another week. Somehow, all the perfect ideas just came crashing down on me and I was like "BANZAI!". So yeah.

Thank you for the comments; I'm glad you liked Chapter Six :'D whoopeeee~

Song of the day: Light and Day (The Polyphonic Spree)

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any similarities in events or characters living or dead are entirely coincidental.

Enjoy!

Chapter Seven

London had not changed much in the two months' time they were gone. There was definitely a thin layer of snow on the streets, and the city was bustling with the air of post-New Year's. People walked up and down the streets, chatting lively with their shopping or groceries. Children laughed and screamed as they dashed about in the parks, parents sitting by idly, talking amongst themselves. There was a bit of sun peeking out from behind the cloudy skies in the grey mid-morning, and a snowy haze hid the higher buildings from view. Below, in the streets, the four hunters moved along with the crowd in the streets, heading down the cobblestones to the alleyway between the Kawahira bakery and the Cavallone printing press.

"I thought you said this place was always downtrodden and dreary?" Fon asked, glancing about. "It's livelier than I thought it would be."

"You don't say?" Reborn mumbled, pulling his coat tighter around him. "The weather's still shit in my opinion."

"It's better than before," Tsuna said firmly, and Reborn rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

The Grimm Office had never been a more welcoming sight. It was still the same old bureau half hidden in the tiny alleyway with its creaky sign hanging overhead, but there was the air of home around it. The mail slot was stuffed full of letters, crumpled and faded from the weather. Even the cracks in the doorway had a sheet of paper or a postcard jammed into it. A pile of parcels were balanced by the door with a few bills tucked securely here and there. Reborn grumbled and shoved the junk mail out of the way before stuffing his key into the lock, opening the door. A mountain of papers slid down, all piled up on the inside of the door.

"Popular, aren't you?" Fon said in amusement, watching Reborn cuss and kick the letters out of the way.

"Shut up."

They moved into the lobby and up the stairs. Tsuna smiled brightly despite the amount of dust all over the room that he'd probably have to sweep up later on. The water element was place securely in a small sack, which Mukuro was currently holding. Reborn pushed the door open to their office, gesturing for them to enter. Everything in the room had remained exactly where it was before they left; the bills and letters stacked neatly on Tsuna's table, Yamamoto's name plate on the top shelf, the paperweight still keeping their notes down on the table.

Reborn walked over to open the window to let some fresh air in while Tsuna offered to hang their coats up. Fon shut the door behind him with a click, and in an instant, the unseen shadow was upon them. With a fierce swipe of black, Fon was thrown sideways and he fell, smashing against the side of the wall, a splatter of blood painting the wallpaper as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Mukuro, Reborn and Tsuna jolted, thrown off guard, and the shadow abruptly lashed out at the doctor, flinging him across the room like he was a rag doll. The blue-haired man hit the bookshelf that made the walls shudder and crumpled to the ground, unmoving as well. The sack with the element hit the floor and bounced away, out of reach, into the corner for the room. Tsuna and Reborn reacted at once, both diving for the bag, but the darkness lashed out swiftly to both of them. Reborn lost his footing and fell backwards, vision filled with smoky black haze and the ceiling. The last thing Reborn remembered before his head made solid contact with the corner of the desk was a flash of white and Tsuna's terrified yell. Then, everything faded from his consciousness.

"…rn…"

"…Re…rn!"

The hunter stirred, and at once, a violent stab of pain shot through his cranium, as though someone had taken a hammer and bludgeoned him while he was down. His limbs felt like lead, and he could feel something sticky on the back of his neck.

"…born!"

What was that fucking annoying sound?

"REBORN!"

Reborn's eyes shot open at the sound of his name, and almost regretted the action at once. A sliver of evening sunlight was shining through the gap in the curtains as the fabric billowed out from the wind blowing in through the open window. Reborn rolled over, head pounding, and for a scary moment, couldn't remember a thing. Then, he caught sight of Fon lying on his side by the doorway and Mukuro on his back by the bookshelf, unconscious, and everything crashed down upon him like a tidal wave.

"Shit," Reborn cussed, his voice cracking. "Shit, shit, shit, fucking god, no!"

The room was messy, but not destroyed. There were papers flying all over the room and the paperweight was overturned on Reborn's desk, but other than Tsuna's desk being pushed off-center slightly and the door swinging back and forth, half-open, nothing was touched.

Even the water element had stayed where it was, in its sack, resting on the floor in the corner of the room. Reborn's blood chilled. If they weren't attacked for the element, then what…?

"REBORN! IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW I'LL KILL YOU!"

Reborn jumped, ramming his head on the corner of the table and unleashed a string of muffled curses. That had, undeniably, been Verde's voice. Verde's voice was coming from his fucking bag. There was another moment where Reborn's memory failed him, but as he crawled over to the discarded item and upturned its contents, he finally understood why: amidst medical packs, ammunition, and extra sweater and wrapped food, a circular mirror rolled out. The two-way mirror Fon had given them right before the trip. Reborn seized it at once, turning the reflective side over and tapped it.

"Verde? Is that you?"

There was a flicker of green in the mirror, and then, the scientist's face sharpened. Reborn immediately deducted that something was wrong; the green-haired man looked hassled, not just annoyed, and he was pulling at the strands hair near the back of his neck. Reborn had only seen that expression under three circumstances: there was a scientific question he couldn't solve, Luce had caught him setting up traps for squirrels in the yard, and when Verde was actually nervous about something, which was extremely rare. It was like imagining a quiet Colonello, or a crybaby Lal.

"No shit it's me, Reborn, why the hell didn't you pick up? I've been trying to contact you guys for the past twenty minutes!"

"Twenty minutes—" Reborn cussed, looking around. To his horror, the scenery outside the room was an evening setting.

They had been knocked out for the whole day.

"God damn it!" Reborn swore, grabbing at his hair, terror rising up in him.

"What? What's going on?" Verde demanded. "What are you doing?"

"We're in Britain!" Reborn shouted, his stomach threatening to turn over on him. "We're in the Grimm Office, and…ah, fuck it, we were ambushed! I was out until you woke me up with your shouting a minute ago!"

"Ambushed? How?" Verde asked, expression going stormy. "Reborn, you had better not lost your element!"

"The element's fine!" Reborn snarled. "They—whatever they were, they didn't come for the water droplet!"

"What do you mean?" Verde growled, confused.

"They came for Tsuna," Reborn groaned. "Tsuna's gone!"

There was silence on the other end. The scientist looked stunned. "What the hell would anybody want with the kid? Are you sure he's gone?"

"Positive," Reborn whispered. "I can feel it; Tsuna's nowhere near this place. And I don't know where they took him."

Verde snarled, kicking at something on his side of the mirror in fury. "Great! Great! Just what we needed! Now that's two people down!"

" 'Two people down'?" Reborn repeated, heart nearly stopping. "What the hell's going on, Verde? Where are Colonello and Lal?"

The scientist glared, pulling at his hair harder than ever. "It's fucking bull, man. Those two are working out their own little problem right now, and I don't even want to be around them arguing."

"Lal's Hydra poisoning?" Reborn frowned. "What, is it getting worse? Damn this, we told her to sit this one out, and now you're fucking stuck in the middle of Egypt looking for your element—"

"Oh, we found our element," Verde interrupted, and he bent down to retrieve something; a handful of blazing, red-orange flames. It flickered and glowed and radiated such heat that Reborn could almost feel it through the mirror. "We found Heliopolis and bargained our way into the temple of the Phoenix. We fought it, and won the flames off him. But before we left, it told us something."

"What'd it say?"

Verde pursed his lips. "The Phoenix symbolizes life, death, and the cycle of rebirth, yeah? And you can't lie to a spirit of power like that. The Phoenix found Lal's lie."

Reborn's eyes narrowed. This conversation was not going well.

"It's not Hydra poisoning. Lal's pregnant. She's actually fucking pregnant. With that dense idiot Colonello's kid!"

The dark-haired man was still for a moment, and then he groaned, grabbing at his head. "She's what? Lal's—fuck…you cannot be serious."

"This is the one time in my life I wish I was lying to you, Reborn," Verde said, and he looked so serious Reborn almost wanted to punch something. For one, it reminded him that if Verde could take this gravely, it was probably a really bad situation, and for another, it reminded him that Verde was the oldest of the whole group. It pissed him off to feel inferior to the stupid scientist, but that was a different story.

"How far along is she?" Reborn asked.

"Three months," Verde replied. "Don't give me that look, I didn't believe her in the beginning, but it times out, apparently. I didn't ask how, god knows how scarred I'll be if I found out, but she's one of those people that don't really get a bump, plus she's always wearing that giant cloak of hers, and it was hard to tell."

Reborn hissed, putting his head down. Now what? Regardless of how stupid they regarded the reason; Reborn knew that he, Colonello, Verde, Fon and Mukuro would never allow Lal to continue the mission like this. They weren't heartless bastards, and Lal, whether they would admit it or not, was like a sister to them. Running around with your life on the line while being pregnant was not something they would ever let her do.

"So now what?" Reborn asked flatly, feeling the dull, throbbing pain in his chest.

"Fuck if I know."

"That doesn't help!"

"Then what do you want me to say?"

Reborn growled, and then put his head down, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. He had to calm down. He was freaking out right now, and it wasn't the best thing to do in this situation. He needed to keep a cool head and figure this out. In, out, in, out…when his heart managed to retain a steadier beat, he looked up and said to Verde, "Go talk to Lal. See if you can find her a way back to China as quickly as possible. I'm going to see if Mukuro and Fon are okay, and I'll get back to you."

"Hnn," Verde grunted. "Watch yourself."

With those words, the scientist vanished from the mirror, and Reborn placed his down, running a hand along the back of his head. He felt something wet there, and when he pulled his hand back, there was blood on his palm. Cursing himself for letting his guard down, he carefully pulled his aching body over to where Fon was, and checked the Chinese man over. Like himself, the blood on the wall was from a cut on his head, and when Reborn shook his friend lightly, the raven groaned weakly, reaching for his temple.

"Fon, wake up."

"Reborn…?" Fon rolled over and squinted up at the hunter, and he paled. "Oh no…what's going on?"

"Ambushed," Reborn growled, extending a hand to help Fon sit up. "Tsuna's gone."

"Tsuna?" Fon asked, startled, but Reborn held off his answer until he got Mukuro up. He retrieved the sack with the element and explained the whole situation to the two hunters. Fon's jaw dropped and Mukuro groaned when Reborn told them Lal was pregnant, and neither of them had any idea as to why Tsuna would be kidnapped. The three of them sat on the floor of the Grimm Office in silence, trying to get past their confusion so they could think. If Reborn hadn't rammed his head into the corner of a table, he would have been pacing, knocking things over in annoyance or growling like a trapped, feral animal.

"We're halfway there," Fon said softly, "We have two elements; we can't stop now."

"And we're down two people," Reborn growled irritably. Fon sighed, rubbing his head.

"Yes, I can see that."

"Get Lal back to China. She can't continue," Mukuro said. "We'll have to split up again into even smaller groups, even though I think that's a horrible idea…"

Mukuro continued to talk, but Reborn wasn't listening anymore. All that was going through his mind was the fact that he couldn't protect Tsuna, and there it was again. The feeling of painful, agonizing guilt. Reborn fell backwards so that he was lying on the floor, ignoring how Fon and Mukuro went quiet at his out of character behaviour. The cold ground felt refreshing against his throbbing head, and he stared up at the ceiling, mind going into overdrive. He turned his head with a groan, and his gaze fell upon the gap between the vent and the floor under the window.

There was something lying on the floor.

Perhaps it was his instinct that drove him to turn over again and reach into the dust to fish the piece of paper out, because under any normal circumstances, Reborn wouldn't have bothered. He wiped the grime off the previously glossy surface and stared at the scrawl on the white background. As Reborn read through the message, his stomach turned over.

To the Grimm Office:

My name is Giannini. I live in the outskirts of London city, and I'm writing in regards to a demon that has crossed through my pastures for the past week. My crops have been witling every time he passes through and the very grass he stands on dies away into ash. I have found an entire pack of wolves slaughtered in the forest, and it was no bear or hunter that did it. This demon has the appearance of a human; white hair and purple eyes with a tattoo under the left one. Please take a look into this monster, as it appears to be something quite dangerous.

Giannini

-November 2nd

Reborn didn't realize that he was practically scrunching up the postcard until he heard the paper tearing and Fon calling out, "Reborn? What are you doing?"

"I know where Tsuna went," Reborn answered slowly. "At least, I have a hunch."

"What? How?" Mukuro asked, looking surprised. Reborn passed the postcard to him.

"This was a request that came into the office the day before we left…it fell behind the vent. The demon it's talking about is a man I knew. He fought alongside us in the battle here, in London. He…his boyfriend, who worked with me in the Grimm Office, died. His superior did too. Neither Tsuna or I had heard from him after the incident, but…he blamed me for the death of his boyfriend."

"Who is this?" Fon asked, frowning.

"His name is Byakuran," Reborn answered. "Chances are, he'll have taken Tsuna back to the Underworld, as revenge, because I indirectly caused the death of his lover."

"…well, shit," Mukuro muttered. "Let me guess, you're going to have to go save him now, won't you?"

Reborn shot the doctor a nasty look, who raised his hands in defence. "Hey, relax, I'm not trying to sound like an ass; I'm just pointing out that a trip to the Underworld would most definatly put a damper on our case."

"Mukuro's right," Fon said quietly. "Let's call Verde back on this."

Reborn went to retrieve the two-way mirror at once, and once the green-haired man appeared on the other side, still looking disgruntled, Reborn gave him his guess at where Tsuna was. Needless to say, Verde wasn't pissed off.

The man was livid.

"You know, maybe I should have beat your head in when you were younger," Verde snarled angrily, "Then maybe you'd have some more fucking common sense!"

"Shut up!" Reborn yelled back. "You don't know Byakuran, or what he's capable of! And I am not letting Tsuna die!"

"Why the hell am I always stuck with the lovebirds?" Verde roared. "We're on our way to war with the fucking world relying on us! And you want to take a little side trip to the Underworld? Are you as stupid as you look?"

"At least I have a heart," Reborn sneered back. "An insufferable prick like you will never know what it feels like to almost lose everything that's ever had a meaning to you!"

"Take that back, bastard!"

"In your dreams," Reborn snarled.

Before Verde could retort, or possibly break the mirror out of anger, Fon intervened, snatching the looking glass out of Reborn's hand. "I have an idea," the raven snapped, glaring at both males. "I agree that we are extremely short on time, but we can't leave Tsuna either. I think that we should split up once more."

"Oh, because we all know how well that went," Verde grumbled.

"We found two elements," Mukuro contradicted helpfully in the background, making Verde's eye twitch.

"Colonello and Lal should head back to China, but at the same time, they can look for one of the elements along the way."

"Which one?"

"Air." Fon said. "The roc is essentially a giant black bird. It resides in some of the highest points on earth."

"Mountains," Reborn guessed.

"Exactly. And some of the world's tallest ranges are located in Nepal; the Himalayas. The two of them can stop by there before they go right back to the temple. Hopefully, they'll be able to convince the roc to give them their blessing, and then Lal can rest properly and Colonello will stop flipping out every ten minutes."

"Then what about the rest of us?" Verde asked, crossing his arms so that his reflection jolted.

"You'll pair up with Mukuro and tackle the last element; earth. Gaia."

"Mother of the nature," Verde said slowly. "I'm guessing we'll find her in some forest or something."

"Close," Fon replied. "From what I deduct, one of the most undisturbed locations in this world is an island located off the continent of Africa called Madagascar."

"Madagascar?" Mukuro and Verde both shouted at once.

"You're lying," Verde groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Really, Fon, really?"

"Hey, I didn't choose the locations," Fon protested. "We need to get this done. We can't linger anymore; we'll lose the war otherwise. Get in, get what you need, get out fast, and we'll all go back to China this time. We need the Overking's help, and in order to get him, we need the elements. We cannot fail."

"Fine," Verde growled. "Send Mukuro to Egypt as soon as possible. We're still here, since Colonello doesn't want to fucking move. I'm guessing you'll be going with Reborn then, Fon?"

"No," Reborn said sharply. "Go with Colonello and Lal, Fon, I can do this on my own."

"You wish," Fon snorted, half-glancing over. "This has always been one of your problems, Reborn. You refuse to let others help you. I seriously wonder how Tsuna ever entered your life."

"Tsuna—" Reborn started to protest, but Fon cut him off smoothly: "Tsuna wouldn't want you to lose your head while trying to rescue him. Trust me, Reborn. I'll go with you, and we'll both bring Tsuna back, alright? Don't argue with me, because it's for your own good."

"Mother hen," Reborn and Verde both muttered at once, but the dark-haired hunter couldn't keep the grudging look of approval off his face. "Fine, but watch yourself. I…don't you dare die on this, Fon."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Fon retorted. "I take offense to you looking down on me, Reborn."

"So is this all to the plan?" Verde asked, sighing. "Send Mukuro over now. I'm going to tell Colonello and Lal what's going to happen, so move out as soon as you can."

"Understood," Fon replied. "Take care, Verde."

The scientist grunted again before disappearing from view, and the three men in the office shared a grim moment of silence before getting to their feet and picking up their bags. It was time to go their separate ways once more.

"There are two or three portals down by the Thames river, Mukuro," Reborn instructed. "Test them out to see where you can get to; otherwise take the train out into the countryside or the forest. There should be more there."

"Understood," the blue-haired man answered, slinging his bag on his shoulder. "I'll let you know when I reach Verde." With those parting words, he vanished out the front door, closing it behind him as he went. Reborn walked over to the window, watching the doctor exit downstairs and leave the alleyway. The hunter leaned over and pulled the window shut, snapping the lock back on it.

"We're not coming back to this office anymore," he growled. "They know our location. It's best to keep moving."

"We'll be going westward then," Fon agreed, rolling up his sleeves. " 'The West is the Land of the Dead', or so they say."

"We'll be looking at something barren, or unpopulated," Reborn said.

"Iceland," Fon offered. "That's furthest we get before entering the North American continent."

"Iceland it is," Reborn muttered, shouldering his side bag and opening the drawer of his desk for another gun. "We'll take the train to the countryside."

A hand was suddenly placed on his arm, and the hunter turned to see the martial artist standing next to him, a sad look on his face. "He'll be okay, Reborn. Tsuna's a tough kid."

It was in that moment that the weight of the entire situation finally crashed down onto the elder and Reborn closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. "I know," he answered eventually. "I know he'll be fine."

And Reborn hated the fact that all he could do at the moment was hope.

Hope, with all his heart, that his Tsuna would be alright.

The walls shook and the sounds of the demons roared and laughed on the level above. It reverberated off the high walls and descended to the cave below, where it was dark, wet, and cold. The floor was flat and cool, like clay, and there was a stray rock or pebble lying around. Water dripped from the ceilings and onto the ground, forming small puddles. There was a torch hanging from the cavernous roof, glowing with unnatural blue flames. The entire cave was gloomy and dank, the only exit blocked with a heavy, crisscrossing iron bars. It was a massive dungeon.

Tsuna lay on his side, eyes closed, still lost in the land of unconsciousness. There was a bit of dried blood on the side of his head, and his arms were tied tightly behind his back by a length of thick, coarse rope. A wad of cloth was bound around his mouth, and his feet were tied up too. He lay on his side on the damp floor, head resting against the wet stone, breathing in and out, evenly. His mittens were casually placed on the floor near the doorway, about ten feet away from where the teen was.

There was the sound of jingling keys, and for a moment, a shadow fell upon the doorway of the prison. There was the noise of metal against metal, and then, the doorway creaked open, and a tall figure entered. In the dim room, his white shirt seemed to glow like an unearthly presence, the rest of his black, leather clad body lost in the darkness. Cold purple eyes bored down at the unconscious teen as he neared, his footsteps slow and purposeful, echoing around the cave.

Tsuna twitched, groaning a little in pain.

Byakuran came to a halt before the brunette, an unreadable expression on his pale face. His hand moved to the weapon strapped to his belt, and pulled the dagger out from its sheath, the sharp edge glittering wickedly against the blue light.

Tsuna moved again, eyes starting to flutter weakly open, slowly regaining consciousness.

Byakuran waited, slowly raising his blade.

Tsuna finally opened his eyes, blinking blearily up, and with a vicious flash of reflected light against metal, Byakuran stabbed downwards.

When a bunch of you guys guessed correctly in the early chapters about Lal being pregnant, I'm like…well. Everybody caught on too quickly. Let me throw a curveball in somewhere. So…trollolololol? :'D Please don't be mad…but hey, it's Colonello and Lal's kid. Lal would probably lie about something like that because she's serious about not hindering them on the case…or so my brain says. I ship her and Colonello hard enough as it is *u*

I'm curious though…do you guys think it'll be a boy or a girl? Their child is still unknown inside my head, so feel free to persuade me if you have a bias :'3

Well…cliffhanger. Thing is, I'm not even sure at the moment if Tsuna's going to die or not. That would be a terrible R27 ending. But then again…there's always the element of surprise, kufufufufu. Who knows?

Thank you for reading! I'll probably be busier this week because of my seminar project, but Chapter Eight won't be long, promise! Working hard~~

-BlackStar