"Hey, guys! Check it out!" Gerald runs forward, Amy and Arnold following him. "They're setting up for the Annual Cheese Fair!" The truck is being unloaded, several rides and booths around.
"Wow. Seems like it was just last year we celebrated the annual festival of the holy provolone," Arnold says.
"I'm more into the French cheeses myself," Amy comments. Phoebe and Helga are there too, Phoebe looking through one of the holes of a slice of Swiss cheese.
"Phoebe, what on Earth are you doing?" Helga wonders.
"According to festival traditions, Swiss cheese is a window to the soul. If you spin around three times, hold it, and look through a hole, it will guide you towards your true love," she explains, Helga bursting into laughter.
"Poppycock! Gimme that!" She snatches the cheese, spins around, and sees Arnold standing near the truck. She swoons at him and Arnold gasps at something. Ruth is watching the workers set up the fair and he smiles, blinking rapidly. A light shines on her as she stands there.
"Arnold?"
"Arnold?" Amy elbows him.
"Wow...it's her," Arnold comments.
"Who?" Gerald asks before they see her. "Oh, you mean Ruth?"
"Ruth...what a perfect name for such a...divine creature." Arnold walks forward.
"Arnold? Where you going? You okay, man?" Gerald wonders.
"Don't bother, Gerald. When he gets like this, he's always out of it," Amy explains, rolling her eyes. Helga gasps as she sees Arnold walking.
"I know that look...it's the look of love. The look I've been longing for. He finally acknowledges passion for me..." He completely ignores her, walking up to Ruth. "Huh?" Arnold tries to talk to her, but two men walk in front of him with a sign. He attempts to look at her. "Why, that little runt! I oughta squash him like a bug!"
Amy sees Helga and winces to herself. By the time the workers are done moving the sign out of Arnold's way, Ruth is gone. He looks around for her, shrugging at his sister and Gerald. Gerald and Amy look in amusement.
"Of all the idiotic things! Arnold in love with Ruth?" Helga complains to Phoebe. "Puhlease! Not that I care. What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Let me see my list. Longer legs, a dazzling smile, shiny chestnut hair-"
"Gimme that!" Helga snatches the notebook and reads it. "So what?" She throws it over her shoulder. "What kind of guy would fall for that kind of baloney, anyway?"
"I just know it, guys," Arnold insists as the three walk down the street. "It's...It's fate! Tonight at the carnival, I'll see her. She'll see me, and in that instant, she'll realize that we're meant to be," Amy and Gerald secretly roll their eyes. "Me and Ruth P. McDougal..."
"Uh huh, sure," Amy murmurs.
"Ruth P. McDougal. I'll fix her wagon," Helga rubs her hands in determination.
Later that evening, the Cheese Fair has opened. "Hello, Ruthie. Nice to meet you, Ruth. How you doin' Ruth?" Arnold practices.
"Would you knock that off?" Gerald asks in annoyance.
"I don't wanna forget my opening line!" Arnold explains. "It took me all day to come up with it."
"Gee, they're so long and complicated. I can see why you're concerned. Why don't you just play it straight?" Gerald tells him.
"Yeah, just say something simple," Amy shrugs.
"Okay. Hi Ruth. Yeah! That's it! Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth," he keeps repeating the phrase as he walks.
Later, it sounds weary as Ruth hasn't appeared in his sight. "Stay cool, Arnold," Gerald tells him, playing Whack the Rat. Ruth just happens to walk by.
"There she is!" Arnold screams, startling Amy a little as she's playing darts. However, she manages to win.
"There she is," Helga sees her too. "Commence Operation Ruthless and the evil target in destroying a sixth grade girl. Oh, this is gonna be good."
"Uh, Helga? Just one question," Phoebe wonders.
"What?! Are you implying that I have some sort of ulterior motive? That I'm after this Ruth person because she happens to be the object of some other kid's affections? Some certain young man that I may have my own obsessive affection for? Is THAT your question?! Is THAT your question?!" Helga demands.
"No. Uh, actually, I was gonna ask you which way to the bathroom," Phoebe explains.
"Oh. They're right over there next to the wiener stand. Oh, and Phoebe?"
"Yes?"
"This conversation never happened," Helga explains.
"Right."
But Amy heard it.
Ruth throws out her cheese cotton candy. "Okay, here's the plan," Arnold is holding a cheese kabob. "You give her the cheese kabob, as a token of your affection. That'll break the ice," Gerald instructs. "Then what do you say?"
"Hi Ruth," Arnold repeats. "Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth."
"I think you've got it, Arnold," Gerald pats his shoulder. Arnold walks over, Helga and Phoebe watching him. Amy shakes her head.
"He's doomed," she comments to Gerald.
"Definitely."
"Now, we've gone over and over this plan. It's very complicated. Now, what's step number one? Oh, yeah." They watch and Phoebe runs up past Arnold.
"Try and get me, Helga!" Arnold gives a surprised look.
"Oh Phoebe, wait up! Whoops!" She 'accidentally' bumps into Arnold, making him drop the cheese kabob. "Oh, how clumsy of me." She laughs as she walks back to Phoebe.
"You're a genius, Helga," Phoebe comments.
"Yeah yeah, stop sucking up," Helga retorts. Arnold places a hand on his cheek as he watches them leave. Amy and Gerald walk up to him.
"Ooo, that was good. Maybe now you should try the direct approach," Gerald points to Ruth entering the Hall of Mirrors.
"Yeah, I-I'll just walk up to her, real casual, and I'll say uh..." He stops in his tracks. "Oh, what was it again?"
Amy and Gerald sigh. "Hi Ruth," Amy repeats, a little annoyed that he couldn't even say a simple phrase to her.
"Oh yeah! Good, good! Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth." He walks up the entrance, Helga and Phoebe hiding as they hear him.
"He's a sick boy," Gerald whispers to Amy, who laughs as they follow him inside.
"Wait here," Helga orders Phoebe, running inside past Gerald. Phoebe joins Gerald as he lays his arm on the bar, smirking. She gives a bashful look.
Ruth walks down the hall, looking at herself in the mirrors. "Ew." She looked fat in one of them. Arnold looks at himself too, disgusted a little. Helga is on his trail, looking like a model in one of the mirrors. Amy pulls her aside.
"Helga, you mind telling me what you're doing? I saw you 'trip' Arnold," she crosses her arms.
"None of your beeswax! Just because you know my secret love for your brother doesn't mean I have to tell you everything, bucko! Sheesh!" She follows after Arnold, Amy shaking her head.
"I will never understand that girl..."
Arnold sees Ruth from the reflections, smiling widely. He looks around to see if he could locate her. Helga peeks from around the corner.
"Hi Ruth, my name's Ar-" Helga appears in the reflection and he backs away, bumping right into her.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you little yellow-haired shrimp! And who's Ruth, anyway?" She places her hands on her hips. He doesn't answer and she huffs. "What a dumb name. Ruth, Ruth, hello, my name's Ruth. Doi!" She smiles lovingly to herself as he leaves. "He touched me..." She sinks to the floor, touching her arm. She slaps herself before hearing wheezing. Helga looks around as it gets closer, seeing reflections of Brainy around her. She cracks her knuckles, punching Brainy from behind. He falls to the ground and Amy walks in, seeing him on the floor.
"Judging by this, Helga must be nearby," she murmurs, walking off.
Arnold, Amy, and Gerald watch people using the bumper cars, waiting for their turn. Arnold glances at Ruth nearby. Everyone laughs as Sid bumps into Eugene.
"Hey man, don't get in car number 4. The accelerator sticks," Sid warns to everyone.
"Car number 4, eh?" Helga cooks up a plan. "This oughta be good," she pushes people into the cars. "Car number 2, car number 3, car number 4. Perfect," she throws someone out of the way, gesturing to Ruth. "Here you are, ma'am." She walks off, smirking. "Sucker." She gets into the same car as Phoebe, not noticing the number on the door...
"Come on, Phoebe." Phoebe drives, Arnold following Ruth. He drives up to her, waving. She turns to him and he smiles. She smiles back, only for Helga's car to bump into her. Arnold frowns at this, stopping.
"That's it! Faster, faster! Pedal to the metal!" She laughs, the accelerator sticking on their car. Phoebe looks down at it and Ruth parks, Helga confused. "Hey, she stopped. That's not car number 4. It's car number 3. Then who's in car number 4?" She looks at their car number, seeing Phoebe struggling with the steering wheel. She places a hand on her shoulder. "Say goodnight, Phoebe." They crash into the wall, catapulting them in the air and into the inflatable hot dog of the cart. People scream, running away as it deflates. Amy sighs a little as she sees the damage, thankful that her plan didn't work. It wasn't that she didn't like Helga, but Amy didn't really want Helga to interfere with her brother's love life. Even if it was a little...crazy.
"Step right up! Meet your match. It's mystery match night in the Tunnel of Love!" Harvey is the moderator, wearing Cupid wings. "Men in one line, women in the other. Sure is risky." Arnold peeks around the corner.
"But Gerald, what if I don't get matched up with Ruth?" Arnold asks in worry. Amy didn't want to be in line, so she went off to get a snack.
"Don't worry. We counted up the line. She's number 8 and you're number 8. Nothing can go wrong," Gerald tells him, Helga seeing Arnold trying to jump on the fence. She has a cast around her neck from the incident earlier.
"Make way! Shove over, sister!" She looks over and sees Arnold. "This is perfect. A little maneuvering and I'll be riding a swan with Arnold while Ruth winds up with some dumb slob," she laughs to herself. "Helga, you're a genius." She crashes into a girl. "Shove over, sister!" She moves her behind.
Harold backs away as Rhonda approaches. "I don't wanna go into the Tunnel of Love with you, Rhonda!" She pulls him to the swan.
"Oh, you know you like me, Harold," she teases, getting inside with him.
"I do not," he stands up as the swan takes off. "Help! Let me go! LET ME GO!"
"Move it!" Arnold's eyes widen at Helga's voice. She pushes girls out of the way. "Outta my way! Make way!" Arnold tries to see what's going on. "Cut!" She moves Ruth, smirking to herself. Arnold gulps, falling off Gerald's shoulders. He looks around and moves behind Iggy.
"Excuse me, sorry." Nadine sees and everyone starts moving around. Helga growls at Nadine, panicking as everyone moves spots. She growls and jumps, seeing Arnold right next to her. The fence starts to wobble and she falls, the fence breaking. People scramble to get into a swan as fireworks can be heard.
In the end, Gerald got matched up with Phoebe. "So anyway, that's when we hit the wiener stand."
"Wow, are you okay?" Gerald asks in concern.
"Yeah, I'm okay now," she answers.
Ruth got matched with Sid. "So, nice night huh?" He places an arm around her. Arnold got stuck with his Grandma, who is dressed as a sailor.
"Faster, faster!" Arnold has a blank look on his face.
"Tunnel of Love. Phooey! I can't believe this is happening to me," she got stuck with Brainy. "This is the worst day of my life!" Brainy tries to touch her and when the swan emerges, Brainy is gone. Helga jumps out.
Arnold, Amy, and Gerald see Ruth as the fair is closing. Helga sees Ruth leaving the fair. "Well, I did it. Operation Ruthless was a total success," she brags.
"Man, Arnold. Sorry," Gerald shrugs. "After all that, Ruth still doesn't even know you exist."
"Yeah, but you know something, Gerald? The challenge just makes me like her even more," Arnold admits, Amy cringing. Helga punches her fist against her hand, gritting her teeth. She looks in surprise as Phoebe leaves the fair with Gerald hand in hand. She sniffs, as she wanted that kind of connection with Arnold...
The lights shut off, leaving Helga standing there alone.
The Vacant Lot
The kids are playing baseball on the street. Gerald sees a car approaching, turning to the others. "Car!" They move out of the way so the car can pass by.
"Not again!" Helga complains. "At this rate, we'll never finish the game!" A honk can be heard.
"Car!" They move back.
"It takes us two days to play one game," Sid says as the car passes by. They step off the sidewalk.
"Car!" Sid, Eugene, Helga, Arnold, and Amy grumble to themselves.
"Come on, we got a red light! Let's get this show on the road!" Helga orders, walking back. Harold throws the ball and Arnold hits it, running. It flies above Harold as he throws his glove onto the ground. Arnold makes it pass first base, but the baseball hits the traffic light, landing in a truck. They gasp as they chase after it, calling out, but the driver doesn't hear them. "That's it! I'm outta here!" Helga storms off. "Let me know when pigs fly so we can finish this game!" She huffs as she leaves.
Amy, Arnold, and Gerald walk past a field. "Man, this truly stinks," Gerald complains.
"Yeah, but what could we do? The older kids hog the park and the playground's closed after school," Arnold explains.
"I don't wanna be stuck with the street," Amy whines.
"If we had our own field, we could play where we want, when we wanted," Gerald says.
"Our own field...that would be perfect," Arnold adds.
"Yeah, maybe then we could finish a game," Amy comments.
"We could call it Gerald Field!" Gerald inputs.
"Yeah, that's what we'll call it!" Arnold exclaims. "Gerald Field."
"I like it," Amy smiles.
"Yeah?" Gerald asks.
"Yeah," Arnold confirms.
"Yeah..." They all laugh. "I like that name. Gerald Field. Just say it."
"Gerald Field," they say together, laughing again. They walk past a space that's full of trash.
"Yeah, but who are we kidding?"
"Yeah," Arnold agrees, Amy seeing it. "We'll never find a place of our own.
"You sure about that?" Amy calls out and her brother runs back, seeing the trashed lot.
"Whoa..." Arnold murmurs. Gerald joins them.
"Hey man, why'd you stop?"
"The lot, don't you see?" Arnold gestures to it. Gerald looks at it. Weeds have grown in tires, and junk was everywhere.
"So?"
"I think Amy's found our baseball field," Arnold ruffles Amy's hair and she swats his hand away, fixing it. Gerald looks at it again and smiles.
"You're bold kids, guys. Bold kids..."
The next day, most of their friends have gathered around to help, except Helga. They carry shovels and a wheelbarrow to the lot.
"Okay, you guys start clearing the weeds over there, and Amy and I will start here," Arnold says to them. "And we'll meet in the middle. They spread out, Harold and Sheena carrying a sink. Eugene takes half a bike, Arnold carrying the wheelbarrow around. Amy is standing on the handles, throwing trash in the wheelbarrow as he moves. Gerald helps them out. Sid rolls a tire as Brainy carries a TV. Arnold throws a piece of chalk into a small churn, giving a thumbs up to Gerald and Amy. Sheena writes on the wall as Helga comes out from the bus.
"This better be worth it, Football-Head," she steps on the barrel Harold and Sid were carrying. "I was watching CourTV." She takes a tool and starts to help out. Arnold makes the field, Gerald placing a cover on home base.
"I christen this lot," he drops it. "Gerald Field. Let's play ball!" The others cheer as the barrel is for the pitcher. Harold throws it and Gerald hits it.
"I got it!" A kid hits the wall, Sheena, Brainy, and Eugene watching the game. Arnold is next and he hits it. Sid catches it and throws it to Helga, who pushes Gerald out of the way.
"You're out!"
Harold laughs as the two teams switch. Arnold throws the ball and Harold misses. "Strike one!" Gerald throws the ball back. Harold misses again, falling to the ground. "Strike two." Harold seethes a little and misses again. "Strike three! You're out!" Harold bends the bat a little. "You swing too hard, man."
Arnold prepares to throw the ball at Helga. She holds it straight when he throws it, giving a smug smile and running. They continue to play until the sun is down, everyone congratulating Arnold and Gerald for what they did before heading home.
"Just think, this morning it was full of trash," Gerald starts.
"And now, it's a baseball field."
"Our baseball field," the three finish.
"We did a great thing today," Amy smiles as Arnold and Gerald do their special handshake. They start to head home, their arms around each other. But what they don't know is that Mr. Green has arrived, his hands on his hips. He scratches his cheek as he looks over the lot, other adults joining such as Harvey, Ernie, Mrs. Vitello, Mr. Hyunh, and Grandpa. Mr. Green looks at the hubcap.
"You know, I never noticed it before, but," he throws it away. "There's a lot of space out here."
The next morning, Amy and Arnold leave to go play baseball across the street. As soon as they look over, their eyes widen in surprise to see the adults doing their own things on the field. "Where's our baseball field?" They slowly look around
"Isn't it wonderful, Arnie and Amelia? I've always wanted a ball court," Mrs. Vitello says happily.
"You like horseshoes, Arnold and Amelia?" Mr. Green asks. "There's nothing like a game of horseshoes to relax the old chopping arm," he throws the horseshoe.
"But our field!" Arnold protests.
"You guys took our field!" Amy argues also.
"How can we play baseball with all this...stuff in the way?" Arnold drops his bat.
"Hey, there's chickens in the outfield!" The other kids arrive.
"Forget the chickens! There are checkers on the pitcher's mound!" Helga points to Grandpa and Mr. Hyunh.
"Ha! King me."
"Now what, Football-Head?" Helga questions.
"Well...maybe we could try playing anyway," Arnold suggests.
This doesn't work out so well as Harold throws the ball past the table and into the plants. "Strike one," Gerald announces, poking his head out.
"Strike?! How could you tell? I couldn't even see the pitch!" Sid argues.
"Not so close to the tomatoes, Nancy Jane," Ernie walks up to Helga.
"Hey, I gotta keep one foot on the base!" She points out.
The chickens surround Eugene. "Good chicken. Nice chicken," he backs away to the wall. "I like fried chicken." That was a mistake as they attack him. "Ahh, get off me! No, stop! No, help!" He screams as Amy and Arnold look at the field. Arnold starts running for the ball.
"I got it! I got it!" He runs in Mrs. Vitello's flowers and trips over the hose.
"My flowers! Arnold, this is no place for a baseball game!" The ball lands near him.
Mrs. Vitello moves the washing machine out of the way, the kids on the other side of the street. "We cleared the junk. We pulled out the weeds. Our hands!" He grabs Brainy's arm. "These hands! Look at these hands!" Brainy wiggles his fingers. "They cleaned that lot! It's not fair."
"Why do they get to have the lot if we're the ones who cleaned it up?" Amy complains.
"Yeah, look at us. We're squeezed in like a bunch of sardines," Gerald points out.
Grandpa lies down in his hammock, sighing to himself. "This is the life."
"And grown-ups always telling us what to do," Gerald throws the ball and Sid catches it.
"Yeah. 'Brush your teeth.' "
" 'Comb your hair,' " Sheena inputs.
" 'You can't play baseball.' Rules, rules, rules. They've got rules for everything!" Arnold says. Susie is building a croquet field.
"Hey lady! You can't play croquet here! This area for the potted plants!" Mr. Hyunh bends down. "Potting area!"
"This is where the croquet field is going!" She argues.
"You're both wrong!" Grandpa holds the table over their heads. "This is where the checkers table is going."
"This area for the potted plants!" The three argue about their interests for the area.
" 'Be quiet. Sit down,' " Helga throws the ball and Sid misses.
" 'Don't run in the house,' " Sid recalls.
"Yeah. And always saying 'Why don't you kids play nice?' " Gerald throws the ball back.
"They always boss us around," Amy crosses her arms.
"Out, out, out! What do you think you're doing?!" Mr. Green exclaims to Mrs. Vitello, who is planting flowers.
"I am planting my flowers!" She argues.
"You can't do that, this is the spot for my tanning!" Mr. Green explains.
"Ha! You're gonna need a bigger spot than you're using to tan!" She points at his belly.
"Your chickens eat every one of my tomatoes!" Ernie yells at Harvey.
"Say, man, my chickens need some room to roam around, you understand? Don't fence 'em in, man."
"I won't fence them, I'll fry them!" Ernie runs after the chickens.
"Hey, leave my chickens alone!" Harvey chases after him.
Sid hits the ball and it hits a window. "Run!" They all run away.
"See? This wouldn't have happened if we still had our baseball field," Arnold says to Helga.
"Ha! Welcome to reality, bucko," Helga throws down her glove. "That's what happens when grown ups rule the world." She walks off, the other kids watching them argue. Arnold and Amy join them, Harvey still chasing Ernie.
"Whoa," Sid comments as a punch is heard. "I never knew Mrs. Vitello had such a good right hook."
"That had to hurt," Amy looks away.
"Or that Mr. Green had such a glass jaw," Helga says. Arnold turns to the right, seeing all of the junk they threw away. He smiles as Helga sees it too. He grins widely at her and she smiles at the others. They all realize the plan and walk over to it. Working together, they push it across the street, dumping all of it in front of the group.
"What the heck?" Grandpa asks.
"Arnold, Amelia, I want an explanation," Mrs. Vitello demands. "What's going on?"
"Hey, what are you two, some kind of litter bugs?"
"Quiet! Quiet down!" Grandpa gestures to his grandchildren. "Now if Arnold, Amelia, and their friends had to do this, they must've had a good reason. Head for the hills, children, I'll try to slow them down," he says the last part quietly.
"It's okay, Grandpa. We know what we've done. You see, this is how the lot looked before we cleaned it up," Arnold starts.
"Before we turned it into our own field, Gerald Field. And then you guys kicked us out." They look at each other as Amy finishes.
"So if you want Gerald Field so badly, you can have it just the way we found it. A DUMP!" Gerald declares, the kids storming off.
"Man, I feel like a real heel," Ernie hangs his head.
"Hey man, you know, I mean, we did steal their lot," Harvey says.
"I wish there was something we could do," Mrs. Vitello shrugs.
"Pull on your rubber gloves, boys and girls," Grandma pushes past them. "It's gonna be a long night."
Arnold and Amy step out of the boarding house, descending down the stairs. When they reach the lot, they were expecting to see the adults using it, but instead, they're cleaning it up into a baseball field, with new bases and better space for the pitcher's mound. Their mouths drop, the other kids joining them.
"What happened to the lot?" Sheena asks.
"Grandma, Grandpa! We don't get it," Arnold and Amy walk up to them. "What happened?"
"Yeah, why are you changing the lot?" Amy wonders.
"Well, children, you both sure showed us what. We gotta fess up the facts that you kids were right and we were wrong," Grandpa explains. Mr. Green reveals two baseballs behind his back.
"In honor of your baseball field, I'd like to present you with a couple of brand-new, league baseballs. And, 8 pounds of grade A ox-tail stump!" They all cheer.
"Wow, thanks Mr. Green. Thanks everybody," Arnold says.
"Now there's only one thing to do at a time like this..." Grandma runs to home base, dressed up. "Play ball!"
"Play ball!" Grandpa declares.
"Play ball!" The kids cheer.
"Play ball!" Mr. Green pumps his fist.
"Play ball!" Mr. Hyunh is running the bases as he shouts.
"WILL YOU BE QUIET?!" Grandpa shouts, Amy laughing.