When Oliver walked back to the loft it was late and he expected Donna and Felicity to be asleep. He didn't think he would walk in and see Felicity sat on the living room floor wearing pyjama pants and one of his baggy jumpers reading a book. He reached up and rubbed a hand over his bruised cheek thinking maybe he could hide it somehow or maybe sneak past and cover it up, but before he could Felicity turned and saw him and all thoughts on his face was out of the window whence saw hers. Her face was pale, highlighted by her red rimmed eyes and the dark circles underneath them. "Felicity," he breathed and walked over to her. "What happened?"
"You're back." Felicity sighed softly and she closed her book and sat up a little. "You're hurt."
"I'm okay." Oliver shrugged it off and walked over to her slowly. "You're up late, it's almost two in the morning." Oliver sat opposite her on the floor, not too close but close enough to see just how tired and drained she looked.
"I… I had a… I couldn't fall back to sleep." Felicity said quietly. "My mom's in my room now, she's not the quietest of sleepers and I couldn't relax beside her. I thought you would be back,"
"I hadn't meant to be gone so long." Oliver said gently, guilt washing over him. Felicity had needed him and he hadn't been there for her. He was never there when she needed him.
"What happened to your face?" Felicity asked quietly, fiddling with the cover of her book. Oliver recognised it as one Donna had brought for her.
"There was a mugging. I went in to help and got hit." Oliver sighed. "looks worse than it is."
"Well it looks sore." Felicity sighed. "And it's right on the bone which means the swelling and bruising hasn't even started to form. Tomorrow I'll be surprised if you can see through that eye." She commented.
"You know a lot about facial bruising?" Oliver asked tilting his head to watch her.
"I've had my share few of bruises." Felicity mumbled quietly and pulled her legs up. "You should put ice on it." At that Felicity stood up and headed to the kitchen and started to rummage around in the freezer and then came back a few minutes later with ice in a towel. Oliver expected for her to give it to him to hold, but instead she knelt down in front of him and placed it gently against his cheek, her free hand holding the side of his face still. Oliver closed his eyes, his breath hitching as he felt her touch. He missed her so much.
"Felicity… What bruises?" Oliver asked quietly. He vaguely remembered the conversation about battle scars and Felicity having none. He hadn't thought much of it since, but now, hearing her comment he couldn't help but think she had been lying.
Felicity shook her head and looked down, Oliver hated the way her eyes were now glistening with us shed tears. "I think I had a memory." Felicity said changing the subject and Oliver looked at her.
"What do you remember?" Oliver asked softly.
"It was weird. I didn't… There was shooting." Felicity looked down and Oliver felt his blood run cold. Her first memory. The limo and the shooting. "I think we were at an office. Someone was calling for you and then there was shooting. I pushed you out of the way." She looked at him slowly, not understanding why he looked relieved as she continued to talk. "Then you grabbed me and we fell out of the window." Felicity shook her head. "It sounds too strange to be real but I think it is real."
"It is." Oliver said gently. "It was about two years ago. There was an attack at Queen Consolidated. They were after me because of something my mother had done…" He looked down. It felt like so long ago now.
"Did the police catch them?" Felicity asked as she moved away and sat back against the sofa.
"Yes." Oliver nodded.
"Okay." Felicity whispered and looked down. "I was scared. When I… I felt it all. I woke up and I could feel the glass against my skin and I could still hear the guns… I screamed and that's when my mom… I couldn't go back to sleep."
"I know how you feel." Oliver said gently. "I have nightmares too."
"You do?" Felicity whispered. She sounded so young, so scared.
"Something happened to me. A long time ago. Before I met you… I was lost on an island for five years. I saw and done some horrible things… I'm still haunted by them."
"Woah." Felicity's eyes were wide as she took in what Oliver had said. "Five years…"
"It was a long time ago. It changed who I was as a person. Made me stronger." Oliver shrugged. "But it still haunts me. But I get through it."
"How?" Felicity asked. Once again she pulled her knees to her chest and held them.
"At first I was angry. I would take my anger out on anyone I could. Then I realised i might actually have a purpose in this life. To make things right… It was dark and I did many things I regret. I hated myself. Then I met you. You brought this light into my life. Made it feel less… Dark. You told me I was hero. Made me feel like I was." Oliver wiped his eyes, not surprised to feel his hand wet.
"I did?" Felicity frowned. "I...Me?"
"Yes. You." Oliver smiled tearfully. "Thank you for sharing your nightmare with me."
"I didn't tell my Mom. I couldn't...I don't know why." Felicity sighed. "I wanted to, but the words just couldn't come out."
"As long as you speak to someone about, your Mom will understand." Oliver promised. Felicity rolled her eyes and looked down at her lap. "You and your Mom...You're not very close?"
"She's never around to be close to her." Felicity shrugged. "I don't really want to talk about it."
"Okay." Oliver nodded softly. "I won't push you, but know if you ever want to talk. I'm here."
"Thank you." Felicity said with a small smile. "And you know if you want to talk...I'm here too."
"I know. Thank you." Oliver said and reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "How about we put on one of your favourite films and we can sit down here yeah?"
"You're not tired?" Felicity frowned.
"No." Oliver smiled. "You pick the film and I'll warm us up some leftover mac and cheese?"
"Okay." Felicity nodded and watched as Oliver headed towards the kitchen, she stood up and picked a film at random, smiling as she heard the microwave. She didn't know how she had grown to live with Oliver like this, but she knew she could get used to this.