"Yes... Wait, no. But yes!"
Okay, so that wasn't as clear and decisive as Chuck wanted his first steps into the CIA to be.
Casey huffed and walked away, and Sarah had to drop her head to hide a smile when General Beckman rolled her eyes.
"Look, this whole thing has changed my life. Changed me. I've met you guys and I'm a completely different person than I was. I was… I was okay being mediocre before you guys. I was content to let time pass me by, without making an impact on anyone or anything around me. But that's not me anymore."
Chuck looked up – Sarah's eyes were on him, and he found the nerve to continue.
"I want to stay here in Los Angeles. I want to stay with my family, with my friends, and that's really important to me. But being useful, saving lives.. that's important too."
Chuck swallowed hard, and let his arms drop by his sides.
"I want to join the CIA and I want to be an agent. I think you guys make me better and I want to make you better too."
Sarah smiled, a small hopeful glint in her eye.
"Well, Bartowski, I don't know why we needed the whole Daytime Emmys speech, but okay," Casey said, rolling his eyes. "Sounds good." He gave Chuck just the smallest wink.
"Okay," General Beckman said. "Well, all that's left is to fill out the forms."
As Chuck sat at the table in Castle, filling out forms – so many forms, forms in triplicate, forms asking for information he didn't even know he didn't know, forms on forms on forms – Sarah and Casey let him be.
"Guess you'll have to start unpacking, huh Casey?" Sarah said. She was happy but her apprehension was clear on her face. Was that a quiver in her voice? Hard to say.
"No, not really," Casey replied. "Knew he was gonna do it."
"What? Since when? There's no way, I'm calling your bluff," Sarah said.
"Listen, Walker. You may be all gooey for our boy in there, and don't think we're not gonna have to deal with that, after he gets all trained up and we get going as a team, but I think you've been a little too close to him to see the way he's changed. You – for some godforsaken reason – liked him from the start," he said, as Sarah shoved him in the arm.
"But since then… look, he may or may not be more of a responsible citizen who cares about this great nation and wants to protect it. And I may or may not have recognized that. I'm not confirming either way."
Sarah smiled. Casey… well, Casey didn't smile. But he huffed and shoved her back before going to clean up some of his guns. But not to do any unpacking, because he hadn't lied to Sarah – he had been pretty damn sure of Chuck's decision all along.
Sarah wandered back over to the table just as Chuck was scrawling his last signature.
"And… done!" He exclaimed happily, and stood up from the table to stretch.
General Beckman gathered up the forms, and called Casey back into the room.
"This summer, Chuck will participate in our 'intensive crash course' for agents at Langley. You two will stay here – he needs to be trained and evaluated by agents who aren't biased." At this, she and Casey shared a look before eyeing Sarah. "When he passes, he can return here… for you to continue the work you've been doing. Castle will still be yours. You may be called on to help with security matters that aren't directly related to FULCRUM, but for the most part, that's your job. Find FULCRUM. Find out more about what they're doing, and put a stop to it. That's all."
"Mr. Bartowski, I'll be in contact to give you more information about your summer… vacation." Her eyes softened… maybe. It was really, really hard to tell. "And Mr. Bartowski… congratulations. Welcome to the CIA."
And with that, General Beckman rose to her full height of 5'2", and left the room.
"Well, Bartowski. Try not to screw up too much at Langley," Casey said gruffly. "But we'll be here, when you get back." He put a meaty hand on Chuck's shoulder and squeezed, before he walked away.
Sarah decided to let Chuck go tell his family himself. She could see he wanted to talk to her, and she wanted to talk to him, but she just wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to face this conversation – not because she was scared, or unhappy. But because she couldn't believe it was real.
She made an excuse about filing some paperwork, and told Chuck to head on home. She'd be over later with Casey for the dinner Ellie was throwing to celebrate Chuck being home, happy and healthy.
Chuck nodded, swallowed hard again, and headed out of Castle.
On the drive home, he pondered Sarah's reaction. Happy? Thrilled? No. No way. Had to be… disappointed? Maybe she was ready for a normal life.
But then he thought again. Thought about Sarah in the field, dancing her way through a fight so gracefully it looked choreographed. Thought about her in her Porsche, speeding with the top down as they chased a bad guy, hair in the wind. Thought again, about her wearing all black, sliding through the shadows like oil on water, always silently, lethal. And he realized- Sarah loved her job. And now he was going to be part of it, more so than ever, without being a burden on her. He was going to experience what it meant to be a partner, not an asset who needed protection. He was going to be on equal (probably not ever equal.. Sarah was too damn good) but closer to equal footing.
And he had to pull the car to the side of the road so he could get out and scream and dance and let the joy out of his body.
Ellie and Awesome reacted exactly opposite to the way he thought they would –that is to say, when he told them, they hardly reacted at all.
"Well, Chuck, we talked about it," Ellie explained, when he asked her, gobsmacked, how she wasn't making a bigger deal out of this. "You're staying in LA, at least most of the time, right?" He nodded, so she continued. "And Sarah is staying –and you two are in love, really, right?" Another nod. "And Casey is staying, who's managed to keep you safe all this time?" Nod nod. "Okay, so where's the surprise? Chuck, I may not love the idea of you being in danger.. and I may want something different for you than this, but there's no denying that this, what you want to do… it's important work. And you deserve to be doing important work. You're better than you know, Chuck, and you finally get a chance to prove it."
Chuck smiled, and had to cough away a lump in his throat while Awesome patted him (too hard!) on the back.
"I think...," Ellie started, "Well, I think it's aces, Charles. Aces."
"And bro, you HAVE to teach me some super cool CIA kung-fu!"
With just a half hour to go until dinner, with Sarah helping Ellie in the kitchen and Casey arm wrestling with Awesome in the living room (and letting him win), Chuck went down the hall to his room to change, only to see a small bearded man, laying in the middle of his bed.
"Jeez, Morgan! That is my bed!"
Morgan slowly rolled his head over to face Chuck and smiled. "You bet it is, my main man. And it's a comfortable one too. I'm sure gonna miss it," he said with a hint of nostalgia.
"Miss it?" Chuck said. "So… I guess you've made your decision, huh little buddy? Wisconsin it is?"
"Yes sir, I surely have. You're not gonna miss me too much, right Chuck? We'll have Call of Duty games together all the time. I'm gonna make sure I've got the best cheese-covered Internet money can buy, and my own man-den – did you know how much cheaper real estate is in Wisconsin, Chuck? And I'm going to be – get this- assistant manager! Of the Buy More! In Ann Arbor! It's gonna be great!"
Chuck sank down on the bed, smiling. "Morgan, it is definitely going to be great! I'm happy for you. Anna's happy, right?"
Morgan whistled through his teeth. "She is over the moon. Man, I don't know how I got a girl like that to fall for a guy like me, but she's happy."
"Well buddy, if you're happy, and she's happy, I'm happy too. And I'm gonna be relying on you for frequent cheese shipments! And I'll come see you. You know how Sarah likes to ski."
"Sure do, Chuck. I've gotta say… you and Sarah have seemed to be hitting another gear lately. I mean, she's always been… oh man, she's always been, well, Sarah, and for some reason she likes you-" Chuck socked him in the shoulder- "but lately, you two seem to be in the right groove, know what I mean?" Morgan asked.
"Yeah, Morgan. I know what you mean."
Dinner passed quickly. There was wine, there was cheese, Morgan made an ass of himself, Casey grunted, Sarah made eyes at Chuck across the table. And then, she surprised him, as they were polishing off the last of the pineapple tart Ellie had made for dessert.
"Chuck – want to take a drive with me?" She asked.
"Of course," he said, and got up to follow her out.
They drove to the beach, of course. Where else would they go? It seems they always ended up there. They sat side by side, with their toes in the sand. Chuck leaned over to bump Sarah with his shoulder.
"Okay?" He asked. She turned to face him, smiling softly.
"More than okay, Chuck… I think I'm getting everything I want, all at once." Sarah smiled at him, took his hand in hers. "You're doing this… you're doing this for you, right? Not for me?"
Chuck scooped a handful of sand up and let it run through his fingers. "Sarah, a lot of what I do is for you. And this is no different. But.. yeah, it's for me too."
"I meant what I said in Castle. I want to make a difference. I want to be useful and be good. And I want to help you and Casey do those things. But I realized something else too, on my way home. I realized… I realized that you were made for this. You were made to be a spy, to change lives for the better but not to take the credit for it. And I was made for it, but in a different way. No matter what type of training they give me, I'm never going to be the fighter or the spy that you and Casey are. But I can do other things, I can hack and think on my feet and stuff. So I was made for this too. And… I realized that I have to be made for this. Because you were made for this, and I think I was made for you."
Sarah turned away, while Chuck watched a single tear make its way down her face. He turned to face to ocean, to give her a minute.
"Chuck, I can do this alone. I've been doing it alone, doing everything alone, basically my whole life. And I was prepared to go it alone again, because I didn't want you to do anything that wouldn't make you happy. But… but I'm really glad I don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm glad to finally have a partner I can count on. I thought I had had that before. But I always ended up alone again. It's so good – I'm so at peace knowing that won't happen again. Because I can count on you. Chuck, I love you," Sarah murmured.
"Sarah, I love you too." Chuck turned to her and said. And then he turned back to the ocean, chuckled, and said, "And we are going to kick some serious ass!"