Damn badfurry! Back at it again with the new update despite there being no reviews and you typed up this big ass chapter daaaaaaaamn! (lol i'm just playing I'm writing this for fun IDGAF if y'all review

I was outside, out of breath, and had no idea what to do. What the hell did she mean formulate a tactic? What the hell am I supposed to do with this fan? Cool her off? I saw a picnic table with several weeds growing around it. Perfect. I could hide there and buy myself some more time. I darted under it and examined the ornate fan. I ran my index finger over one of the feathers. It was sharp! Not like a blade sharp, but more like a hook. Maybe I could fold up the fan and use it as a shiv! I had a gut feeling that the fan might have more magical properties than just being a shiv, but I would have to figure that out later. Some old lady in a bee suit was chasing after me! I heard the door slam open.

"Miss Peacock! Come out wherever you are! Mon Dieu I forgot how much more alive I felt when wearing this gettup!" Jeanette called out.

My mind snapped into focus. If this old broad wanted to scrap just to relive her glory days, then she might have to update her pacemaker to keep up with this here young pup. Or should I say peacock? I clumsily crawled out from the picnic table and got the fan/shiv ready.

"Alright busy bee let's dance!" I shouted, trying to sound cool. I remember hearing people saying let's dance before knife fights late at night back in the projects.

"Hmm. Just what I expected from you. A primitive, barbaric knife. Are you going to give me a knife fight like the Americans do? I've always wanted to seem like a gangster you know. However, I am simply more powerful than you and I guess the smallest blade I can come up with is…" She paused, allowing her to get out a huge stinger. It had a two handed pommel, and the stinger looked like a lance. An eight foot lance I think.

Fuck my life. As she charged at me, I stood paralyzed in fear, sitting on the ground like a dumbass.

'Dear God, if you exist, and I'm not so sure of it at this point because my mom is dead, and I'm about to get shanked by an old woman, please let me not get shanked by this old broad. Amen. But like if I do, make sure I die quickly, because I've seen people bleed to death in Brooklyn and it sounded horrible. Amen this time for real' I thought frantically. Upon instinct, I unfolded the fan in front of my face, waiting for the killing blow.

'At least Pavone will never be able to emotionally scar anyone else' I concluded.

I waited

And waited.

But there was never a stab to the head. I looked up and realized that Jeanette… or rather Yellow Jacket was having some difficulty getting her stupid lance out of the fan. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the fan was made out of some kind of metal! I curled up my legs underneath her belly and vaulted her out of my fan. After folding up the fan, I raced underneath the picnic table again to figure out what else this baby could do.

Except Yellow Jacket recovered a lot quicker than I thought and grabbed onto my leg. I went to whack her with the fan, except my thumb accidentally brushed over a button at the base of it. It… grew?

Nononono, it didn't grow, more like expanded really quickly and hit Yellow Jacket in the face, sending her careening across the yard/lot. Shit damn this thing is a lot less useless than I thought. I charged at her with the long fan. I felt like a real badass until…

She grinned, wiped some blood from her mouth and threw her lance into the air. She began doing a series of finger motions on her left forearm, that almost looked like she was pressing buttons. When she was done, she started to cackle, causing me to stop dead in my tracks and look up.

"Here's your knife fight Miss Peacock!" She screeched.

Luckily I retreated fast enough to… well, trip over myself. Those knives weren't slowing down. I unfolded the fan and used it as a shield/shelter from the sharp rain of shivs. Hopefully I survived this to be able to tell off Jeanette for being a BITCH. The sound of the knives ricocheting off the fan was deafening. It sounded like the golf-ball sized hail nuggets that would bounce off the tin roof of the shack I lived in back in Brooklyn. Once I was sure that knives had stopped coming, I removed the giant fan and glowered at Yellow Jacket, who had transformed back into Jeanette.

I stomped over to her.

"Jeanette! Literally what the hell was that? I thought you were going to fuckin kill me! I thought I was supposed to be a guardian of Paris or whatever how am I supposed to do that if I'm dead?!" I shouted, feeling my face grow hot.

"That was scary! I thought I was just gonna learn some fan techniques not get killed!" I was out of breath.

"Are you quite finished? You need to transform back." She stated cooly. I glared at her and transformed back.

"You know what? You shouldn't talk while you're Miss Peacock. You could scare little children after you save them with your… hood rat dialect. Plus it could give away your identity. You fought like a cornered animal, and that's not how the Peacock I remembered fought. She was graceful, kind, and above all composed. I wish there was a sewer rat miraculous so it could train you." Pavone lectured.

Great. The little blue bastard was back.

"While you're at it, could you fetch me some scones and strawberry jam? Being hit by fans and being called a shiv is exhausting. Then could you draw me up a bubble bath? Marie always did that for me…" Pavone requested. I saw red and snatched him out of the air and squeezed him.

"You think you're exhausted? Did you run around trying to dodge flying knives? And after to verbally rip me a new one you expect me to be at your beck and call? Screw you! Since day 1, you've been nothing but a pain in the ass. You know what? It's still day 1, and the amount of shit I've gotten from you has been unbelievable! And you know what the worst part is? I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND CONSTANTLY BE REMINDED HOW I'M NOT SOMEONE WHO'S BETTER THAN ME! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT AS A KID I WANTED TO BE RICH! IF BEING RICH MEANT I WOULD HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH SHITHEADS LIKE YOU I WOULD TAKE THE PROJECTS ANY DAY! AT LEAST THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME SHIT FOR THE WAY I TALKED! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU CONSTANTLY SAY HOW I'M INADEQUATE, BUT HONESTLY, I'D RATHER BE INADEQUATE THAN HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR CONSTANT STREAM OF BULLSHIT! FUCK! YOU!" I made sure that little fucker heard those last two words loud and clear.

"You know what you little sewer rat? Maybe I have been a less than pleasant towards you, but at least I didn't go and steal an ANCIENT ARTIFACT I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT. YOU BROKE INTO ONE OF THE MOST ESTEEMED ESTATES IN PARIS! YOU ACT LIKE I'M THE ABUSIVE ONE, BUT SINCE WE MET EARLIER TODAY, YOU HAVE BEEN SLAMMING ME INTO WALLS, STRANGLING ME AND PUTTING ME THROUGH PHYSICAL ABUSE! NEVER IN THE 5,000 YEARS OF ADVISING YOUNG MISS PEACOCKS HAS ANYONE EVER GONE OUT OF THEIR WAY TO PERSONALLY HARM ME! YOU THINK ADVISING YOU IS EASY? I'M USED TO THE NICEST, SWEETEST GIRLS IN HISTORY AND I GET STUCK WITH ONE OF THE MOST UNGRATEFUL BRATS EVER! YOU THINK YOU HAD IT SO BAD IN THE PROJECTS? US KWAMI SEE EVERYTHING! YOU HAD IT SIGNIFICANTLY EASIER THAN THE OTHER KIDS BECAUSE YOU WERE WHITE! YOUR MOTHER WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO ELOPE WITH A MILLIONAIRE AND GET YOU OUT OF THERE! MOST KIDS WHO LIVE IN SLUMS ARE BORN AND DIE THERE! I'VE WATCHED ALL OF THE TANTRUMS YOU'VE HAD OVER THE DUMBEST THINGS, NEVER ONCE THANKING YOUR MOTHER FOR ALL SHE DID FOR YOU! I WISH YOUR MOTHER WOULD HAVE STOLEN ME AND USED ME TO SLIT YOUR THROAT!" Pavone squawked. He suddenly put one of his wings up to his beak in surprise.

"That last part I didn't mean, I would never wish death upon a young woman I swear" He begged.

Okay, that whole speech or whatever really shocked me. I didn't even want to come up with a rebuttal. That fucking scrawny pigeon really roasted me. I turned around and walked inside the building up to my room.

Hoooly shit things are getting dramatic! Damn I surprised myself this chapter is almost fifteen-hundred words dayum.