1
Pike is herding Lisbon out the door.
I touch her shoulder.
"Teresa," I whisper.
Lisbon halts. She turns to me.
"Lisbon," Pike says.
She turns to look at him.
"Come home with me, darling," Pike says, "I promise I'll get you pregnant. And don't feel bad about your hair, I'm sure it will grow back."
Don't feel bad about your hair? This guy stinks on ice.
Lisbon looks back at me.
"Teresa. Don't go with him. He didn't care that you lost your eggs. Didn't even acknowledge your feelings. Just sees it as a opportunity to finally nail you himself."
Lisbon digests my words.
Pike chimes in. "Lisbon, Jane's kept you on hold for twelve years. He's disappeared for years at a time. He cons you and lies to you and keeps you on the outside while I've never given you a moment's doubt about where I stand."
Lisbon considers Pike's argument.
I take a step closer to her. "Teresa. Some crazy person has done a crazy thing and for whatever reason, it's finally brought us together. But that doesn't mean us being together is crazy."
Pike takes a step closer. "The odds of you and Jane finding this zygote are low but the Pike men have an established record of impregnating perimenopausal women. My mom was fifty-one when she had me."
Perimenopausal women? Pike sure is a silver-tongued devil. I bet he says that to all the elderly primagravidas.
Lisbon looks to me for my response.
"Teresa, I can only say that I love you very much. That I should have told you a long time ago and that I'll move heaven and earth to find our little embryo. And if we can't find it, I'll be your sex slave till the end of time."
Pike spins her around to look at him.
"Lisbon, consider the fact that my ex-wife was fifty-six when she had our daughter. Pike bullets are higher caliber. They break through the most wizened female plumbing. If this loony thing with the embryo hadn't happened, no way would you be considering leaving me for Patrick Jane. Don't let the fact that there's one fertilized egg with his name on it out there cloud your ability to make the right decision."
I step forward. "Teresa, I—"
Teresa holds up her hand as if she's heard all the argument she needs.
"Jane, what do you call your penis?"
"Penis."
She takes my hand and holds it high and triumphant. "I think we have a winner.