Elizabeth came out of Ella's room a few minutes later, quietly closing the door behind her. She walked over to sit on the couch. Dorothy was watching television and knitting. "Robbie went down to the beach," she said, answering Elizabeth's unspoken question. Elizabeth smiled at the use of the nickname. It wasn't something she would get used to hearing. "Let him be for a little while," suggested Dorothy. "How about some tea?"
"Sure. I'll make it," replied Elizabeth as she headed for the kitchen in a daze. She was still trying to figure out exactly what had caused Robert to shut down so completely.
"He's a very complicated man," said Dorothy as she gratefully took the mug Elizabeth offered her a few minutes later.
"I know but I thought I was starting to understand him," sighed Elizabeth as she sank into the over-stuffed chair, tucking her feet under her.
"You are dear, you are," said Dorothy as she tried to reassure her with a warm smile. "He has a lot on his mind. He just needs a little space."
"Something's been going on with him for about a week now. Any idea what it is?" Dorothy nodded that she did but didn't offer any information and Elizabeth didn't push.
They finished their tea and Dorothy got up to rinse the mugs while Elizabeth wandered out onto the deck to see if she could see Robert on the beach. She could make him out in the moonlight. He was sitting on the sand about 10 yards from the edge of the water. He had his Cubs hat on, his head bowed and his knees pulled up to his chest. He was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt he'd put on after coming back from the beach. Elizabeth found a travel mug in the cabinet and filled it with the rest of the tea. She put on her sweatshirt and grabbed Robert's out of the closet.
"I'll keep an eye on Ella. Be gentle with him. He's not as strong as he'd like people to think."
"If there's one thing I've learned over the past 6 months it's that very fact," said Elizabeth as she grabbed a towel off the dryer and headed for the door. She stood at the top of the dune for a minute watching Robert, he hadn't moved from his spot down by the water. She didn't want to yell to him, it was nearly 10 at night but she didn't want to startle him either. She settled on whistling a little as she walked towards him. He raised his hand up, acknowledging her presence but he didn't turn around. Robert had actually had the forethought to bring a towel with him to sit on. Elizabeth wordlessly handed him the tea and put his sweatshirt over his shoulders. She spread her towel down next to his and sat down. Robert took a big sip of the tea before she could warn him how hot it was. He let loose a string of words he didn't normally use.
"The tea's a little hot," said Elizabeth sheepishly.
"Thanks for the warning there, Lizzie," muttered Robert under his breath.
They sat there watching the waves quietly for a few minutes. Neither knew quite what to say. Elizabeth hesitated a bit before reaching out to put her hand on Robert's shoulder. She felt him shiver a little and took the tea from him so he could pull his sweatshirt on completely. "Are you ready to talk?" she asked as she handed the tea back to him. Robert nodded and took a few deep breaths to give him time to get his thoughts together.
"I'm sorry about before, about the folder. I shouldn't have gotten annoyed at you for reading the stuff. You've been really good about not pushing me, about not asking too many questions," he admitted grudgingly.
"Yes, I have. And now I'm going to start pushing."
"I figured you could only last for so long Lizzie," teased Robert.
"So do you think you can clue me in on what's been going on? You're frankly beginning to scare me a little."
"Really?" asked Robert as he pushed back his hat a little to look her in the eye. The look on Elizabeth's face told just how worried she was about him. That realization hit Robert rather hard. He leaned over with his head propped up on his hand, unable to look her in the eye. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to hurt Elizabeth.
"Robert, talk to me, please," pleaded Elizabeth as she leaned over for a few seconds, resting her forehead against his shoulder.
"OK, I've come to a few decisions over the past week or so. And I'm worried about what you're going to think."
"But it doesn't matter what I think, you've made that very clear," teased Elizabeth as she put her arm around his shoulders and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
"It does matter," Robert whispered seriously. Elizabeth smiled and nodded for him to continue. "I think it's time for me to leave County," he said. Out of all the scenarios that had run through Elizabeth's mind over the past hour that was not one of them.
"What?" she asked as she dropped her hand from where it had been resting on his shoulder.
"I can't do it anymore. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in the ER."
"Robert, that's not true." He just gave her the "whatever" look and rolled his eyes. "What about another position in the hospital?" she asked knowing she was beginning to grasp at straws.
"Well, to quote Kerry 'I've burned more bridges than I've crossed.' No, it's time for me to move on."
"So if you leave the hospital what are you going to do?"
"I have enough money put away so I thought I'd hang out at home, watch soap operas and shop online," he said. It took Elizabeth a few seconds to decide if he was teasing or not. His smirk gave him away. "I think I'm going to teach. I've talked to a few people at Northwestern and Loyola. It's a little late to start in the fall but I can wait until the Spring semester. I have some other things to focus on in the meantime," he said as he lifted his stump a little.
"Have you made a decision about a prosthetic device?"
"For now," he said cryptically as he stood up and started to pace at the water's edge.
"Robert?"
"I've decided against one for now," he said as he stopped his pacing and looked out over the water. Elizabeth said nothing. Deep down she wasn't all that surprised. "I think I made the final decision this afternoon when I was reading about all the high tech options," he explained as he leaned over a little stretching out to back and shoulders.
"Come here," said Elizabeth as she held out her hand to him. He sat down in front of her and she massaged his shoulders and neck. She was looking for an explanation but wasn't going to ask for one. Robert scooted forward a little and settled down on his back with his head in her lap. She pulled his Cubs hat off and set it backwards on her own head.
"I'm afraid. Afraid that if I get something I'll just be disappointed. Does that make sense?"
"It makes a lot of sense Robert," she assured him as she ran her hand over his cheek. "No matter how high-tech it is you'll never operate again. And I think it's easier for you to accept that fact now, living with just one arm. You've made unbelievable progress in two months; you should be proud. I know I am."
"Thanks," whispered Robert with a weak smile. "So I'm going to go back to OT 3 or 4 days a week instead of the two I've been going recently. And I think it's time I made an appointment with a shrink. I know I've been saying that for a long time now but I'm serious about it."
"Good. You really need to talk to someone. You know I'll always listen but you need more than I can give." Robert nodded. "So when are you going to give notice?"
"Haven't really decided yet. I suppose I should do it as soon as we get back, give Donald a chance to find someone to stick in the hell hole that is the ER."
"Will you stay until he finds someone or will you just give 2 weeks notice?" asked Elizabeth as she ran her hand over his forehead.
"I don't know. I guess I'll stay. I suppose I don't need to burn any more bridges," Robert said with a shrug of his shoulders. Elizabeth wisely kept her feelings of agreement to herself. They were silent for a few minutes. Elizabeth leaned back on her hands and tipped her head to admire the stars. Robert ran his hand over his eyes and closed them for a few minutes in an attempt to ward off the headache that he felt coming on. He fidgeted for a few more minutes until Elizabeth sat back up to look at him.
"Are you ok?" she asked as she brushed the sand from her hands and caressed his cheek.
"Tired, headache and chilly," he muttered as he shivered a little before sitting up.
"Let's head back to the house. You can take a hot shower and I'll make some more tea," Elizabeth suggested as she stood up herself and reached to pull Robert to his feet. She held him for a few minutes before letting him go. She gathered up the towels and took Robert's hand to head back up the beach.
"Sure. I'll make it," replied Elizabeth as she headed for the kitchen in a daze. She was still trying to figure out exactly what had caused Robert to shut down so completely.
"He's a very complicated man," said Dorothy as she gratefully took the mug Elizabeth offered her a few minutes later.
"I know but I thought I was starting to understand him," sighed Elizabeth as she sank into the over-stuffed chair, tucking her feet under her.
"You are dear, you are," said Dorothy as she tried to reassure her with a warm smile. "He has a lot on his mind. He just needs a little space."
"Something's been going on with him for about a week now. Any idea what it is?" Dorothy nodded that she did but didn't offer any information and Elizabeth didn't push.
They finished their tea and Dorothy got up to rinse the mugs while Elizabeth wandered out onto the deck to see if she could see Robert on the beach. She could make him out in the moonlight. He was sitting on the sand about 10 yards from the edge of the water. He had his Cubs hat on, his head bowed and his knees pulled up to his chest. He was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt he'd put on after coming back from the beach. Elizabeth found a travel mug in the cabinet and filled it with the rest of the tea. She put on her sweatshirt and grabbed Robert's out of the closet.
"I'll keep an eye on Ella. Be gentle with him. He's not as strong as he'd like people to think."
"If there's one thing I've learned over the past 6 months it's that very fact," said Elizabeth as she grabbed a towel off the dryer and headed for the door. She stood at the top of the dune for a minute watching Robert, he hadn't moved from his spot down by the water. She didn't want to yell to him, it was nearly 10 at night but she didn't want to startle him either. She settled on whistling a little as she walked towards him. He raised his hand up, acknowledging her presence but he didn't turn around. Robert had actually had the forethought to bring a towel with him to sit on. Elizabeth wordlessly handed him the tea and put his sweatshirt over his shoulders. She spread her towel down next to his and sat down. Robert took a big sip of the tea before she could warn him how hot it was. He let loose a string of words he didn't normally use.
"The tea's a little hot," said Elizabeth sheepishly.
"Thanks for the warning there, Lizzie," muttered Robert under his breath.
They sat there watching the waves quietly for a few minutes. Neither knew quite what to say. Elizabeth hesitated a bit before reaching out to put her hand on Robert's shoulder. She felt him shiver a little and took the tea from him so he could pull his sweatshirt on completely. "Are you ready to talk?" she asked as she handed the tea back to him. Robert nodded and took a few deep breaths to give him time to get his thoughts together.
"I'm sorry about before, about the folder. I shouldn't have gotten annoyed at you for reading the stuff. You've been really good about not pushing me, about not asking too many questions," he admitted grudgingly.
"Yes, I have. And now I'm going to start pushing."
"I figured you could only last for so long Lizzie," teased Robert.
"So do you think you can clue me in on what's been going on? You're frankly beginning to scare me a little."
"Really?" asked Robert as he pushed back his hat a little to look her in the eye. The look on Elizabeth's face told just how worried she was about him. That realization hit Robert rather hard. He leaned over with his head propped up on his hand, unable to look her in the eye. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to hurt Elizabeth.
"Robert, talk to me, please," pleaded Elizabeth as she leaned over for a few seconds, resting her forehead against his shoulder.
"OK, I've come to a few decisions over the past week or so. And I'm worried about what you're going to think."
"But it doesn't matter what I think, you've made that very clear," teased Elizabeth as she put her arm around his shoulders and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
"It does matter," Robert whispered seriously. Elizabeth smiled and nodded for him to continue. "I think it's time for me to leave County," he said. Out of all the scenarios that had run through Elizabeth's mind over the past hour that was not one of them.
"What?" she asked as she dropped her hand from where it had been resting on his shoulder.
"I can't do it anymore. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in the ER."
"Robert, that's not true." He just gave her the "whatever" look and rolled his eyes. "What about another position in the hospital?" she asked knowing she was beginning to grasp at straws.
"Well, to quote Kerry 'I've burned more bridges than I've crossed.' No, it's time for me to move on."
"So if you leave the hospital what are you going to do?"
"I have enough money put away so I thought I'd hang out at home, watch soap operas and shop online," he said. It took Elizabeth a few seconds to decide if he was teasing or not. His smirk gave him away. "I think I'm going to teach. I've talked to a few people at Northwestern and Loyola. It's a little late to start in the fall but I can wait until the Spring semester. I have some other things to focus on in the meantime," he said as he lifted his stump a little.
"Have you made a decision about a prosthetic device?"
"For now," he said cryptically as he stood up and started to pace at the water's edge.
"Robert?"
"I've decided against one for now," he said as he stopped his pacing and looked out over the water. Elizabeth said nothing. Deep down she wasn't all that surprised. "I think I made the final decision this afternoon when I was reading about all the high tech options," he explained as he leaned over a little stretching out to back and shoulders.
"Come here," said Elizabeth as she held out her hand to him. He sat down in front of her and she massaged his shoulders and neck. She was looking for an explanation but wasn't going to ask for one. Robert scooted forward a little and settled down on his back with his head in her lap. She pulled his Cubs hat off and set it backwards on her own head.
"I'm afraid. Afraid that if I get something I'll just be disappointed. Does that make sense?"
"It makes a lot of sense Robert," she assured him as she ran her hand over his cheek. "No matter how high-tech it is you'll never operate again. And I think it's easier for you to accept that fact now, living with just one arm. You've made unbelievable progress in two months; you should be proud. I know I am."
"Thanks," whispered Robert with a weak smile. "So I'm going to go back to OT 3 or 4 days a week instead of the two I've been going recently. And I think it's time I made an appointment with a shrink. I know I've been saying that for a long time now but I'm serious about it."
"Good. You really need to talk to someone. You know I'll always listen but you need more than I can give." Robert nodded. "So when are you going to give notice?"
"Haven't really decided yet. I suppose I should do it as soon as we get back, give Donald a chance to find someone to stick in the hell hole that is the ER."
"Will you stay until he finds someone or will you just give 2 weeks notice?" asked Elizabeth as she ran her hand over his forehead.
"I don't know. I guess I'll stay. I suppose I don't need to burn any more bridges," Robert said with a shrug of his shoulders. Elizabeth wisely kept her feelings of agreement to herself. They were silent for a few minutes. Elizabeth leaned back on her hands and tipped her head to admire the stars. Robert ran his hand over his eyes and closed them for a few minutes in an attempt to ward off the headache that he felt coming on. He fidgeted for a few more minutes until Elizabeth sat back up to look at him.
"Are you ok?" she asked as she brushed the sand from her hands and caressed his cheek.
"Tired, headache and chilly," he muttered as he shivered a little before sitting up.
"Let's head back to the house. You can take a hot shower and I'll make some more tea," Elizabeth suggested as she stood up herself and reached to pull Robert to his feet. She held him for a few minutes before letting him go. She gathered up the towels and took Robert's hand to head back up the beach.