SailorStar9: This is Chapter 6 of this fic. (Sighs) Guys and girls, is it too hard for you to leave a review, instead of just putting this fic up on your favorited list and story alerts?

Disclaimers: I own nothing, except for the plot bunny.

Chapter 6: The Reason

Outside Ami's room...

Ami wondered around, her thoughts running in circles. She remembered good times, remembered how it felt to be held by him, to wake up in his arms. More importantly, she remembered that he made her feel beautiful and confident, made her believe that her mind was as sexy as her body, and let her know that he loved her for something that went beyond looks or smarts, he loved her for who she was.

Unfortunately, all of the good memories led her back to a single question. One that she could not overcome no matter how much she tried. "Why?"

"I see I wasn't the only one looking for an escape tonight."

Ami opened her eyes, smiling. "Not an escape, Lord Zoisite. I just needed a break."

He grinned, "I don't blame you, Princess. These state affairs can get rather stuffy."

Ami raised an eyebrow, "From what I saw, you seemed to be quite popular. You're gaggle must be beside themselves without you."

Zoisite rolled his eyes, "Mmm… they don't seem to be able to tell when they're not wanted."

She blinked at him, "You seemed to be enjoying yourself."

The man shrugged, "Eh, they're entertaining. Annoying, but entertaining."

The Mercurian Princess blinked at him, "I see. Your reputation suggests that you are willing to put up with a lot of annoyance to be entertained."

He shook his head, "Reputations are rarely accurate, Princess. There is only one woman I'm interested in. A woman who is reputed to be completely uninterested in romance; some have even called her frigid. But I believe that her reputation, like mine, could not be further from the truth."

The blue haired woman blinked harder, blushed, and then looked into the water in which she'd been playing. "Why would you be interested in such a woman?"

The King of the Southern Kingdom of Earth smiled. "Because, as smart and as beautiful as she is, she has a gentle and a musical spirit that calls to me. Because I must confess that one evening, I happened upon this striking woman when she thought she was alone. She was cradling a harp, and the music she made with it emanated from her soul… and called to mine."

Pulled out from her reverie, she sighed softly, "I wonder if you could still hear my soul." she closed her eyes and sighed again, "None of that matters without the answer to one simple question though. Why, Zoisite? Why?"

"It wasn't voluntary." Quatre stated and causing Ami to look sharply at him.

Ami's eyes narrowed, "How long have you known?"

"When I was putting the finishing touches on Sandrock." Quatre admitted. "And kind of… well… here I am. Whole and complete. But still the same Quatre." And even more in love with you then before.

"Just..." Ami sighed. "Answer my questions. You will answer honestly and without any dissembling. If for one moment I think you are lying or hiding something, I will leave. Understood?" the ice in her eyes flared.

Quatre leaned against the wall and continued, ""I guess you want to know why?"

Ami nodded curtly, not wanting to admit that the reason she had not asked the question herself was that she was afraid of the answer. Afraid that the answer was that she was not beautiful enough for him, that she had not satisfied him, that he had not really loved her after all.

"As I've said, it wasn't voluntary." Quatre closed his eyes, not wanting to remember, but willing to do so for her. "Do you remember when we left? To return to Earth?"

Ami nodded, remembering how much her heart had broken seeing him off. "You promised you'd come back to me. I assumed you meant…"

"To marry you. I did, Ami. I never wanted to hurt you. I swear to you, I did not want to hurt you."

Ami's jaw clenched and she grabbed her purse. "I saw your eyes, Quatre. You enjoyed killing me. You took the time…"

"To watch your blood spill out of you." Quatre finished her sentence "I know what happened, Ami. I was there. I was there, and I hated every moment of it. Please, Ami. Let me finish." he begged. "Serenity intervened. We… no, I misunderstood her objective. She only had one – to capture the four of us alive. We were so intent on making it to the transport, that we fell into her trap when she used the Moon Stick. The next thing I knew, I woke up in a cell in the Moon Castle. I didn't even realize she had gotten the others at first, and then we were all brought before her and given the option to love her." he actually smiled remembering that. "We all told her in no uncertain terms what she could do with her offer."

Ami frowned, "And yet, in the end, you took her up on it."

Quatre sighed, "Ami, every person has his or her breaking point. Everyone of us was more than willing to face death to withstand her. I remember that what hurt the most at first was knowing that I'd break the promise I made to you."

"So if you were willing to face death, what happened to change your mind?"

"She wouldn't let us die. She had the guards torture us in so many different ways. She knew our weaknesses; learnt the worse ways to hurt us." He sighed, "The worse torture was the psychological. She'd break our bodies down enough that we would already be weak, already be vulnerable. Then she'd use her illusionary magic to flood my mind with images, to make it easier for the Ginzuishou to work on me. At first, they were rather unfocused. Poor attempts to figure out what could break me. And then she started using you."

Ami frowned, "How?"

"She'd make me think that you were betraying me, betraying our love; to convince me that I'd be better off with her. You'd tell me how stupid I was, or that you never wanted to see me again. You'd tell me that I was out of my mind for thinking that you'd ever marry a mere Earthling, that I was crazy if I thought that we'd have children together, that they'd be too stupid to be heirs to the throne of Mercury. You'd attack me, maim me… even once castrated me."

The medic-in-training gasped, "But how could you think I'd ever do any of that?"

"I didn't. But each time it took longer and longer for me to realize what she was doing, for me to realize that that was not you. I tried, Ny… Ami. I held out as long as I could, longer than anyone should have had to. I'm sorry that it wasn't long enough. So very very sorry. In the end, she succeeded. And then it wasn't even me anymore, not completely anyway."

Ami nodded. He could see the tears tracing down her cheeks, and feel the tears going down his own. "How… how were you… in this time… both Zoisite and Quatre?"

The blond sighed, "When I knew we couldn't take too much more, that she was going to win, that she was going to win us all, I had to find a way to… I don't even know how to describe it. To keep her victory from being complete. To keep from betraying you, so I tried to find a way out."

"What did you do?"

"I told the others, and they all agreed. Kunzite wanted to keep toughing it out, but we couldn't. Mine was the idea, but Nephrite and Jadeite figured out how to do it."

Ami blinked, having some idea where this was going, "You fragmented your soul?"

He nodded, "Part of it succumbed to the Ginzuishou's brainwash, but the rest was hidden. She was so lustful, so crazy, a puppet to her jealousy, she didn't notice. When she finally settled for Endymion, we realized that she wanted us merely as an ego booster, we snapped and turned to Beryl to exact revenge."

"So when Queen Selenity sent us to the future to be reincarnated…"

"We were reincarnated as two different people. Beryl's twisted version of the Shitennou, and regular people. If we'd had more time… perhaps we could have made sure that our powers and abilities were kept with the protected half of our souls. Things might have been different if we had."

Ami shook her head, "You still would have had the abilities from the Dark Magic. We were so new to our own powers then… "

"At the end, Beryl betrayed us; imprisoned us in Endymion's stones. The betrayal was more than enough to free us from the Ginzuishou's brainwashing, and we were able to help him in the end. It was enough for him to forgive us, but I don't expect you to so easily. I know what I did to you. Maybe if I had been stronger, or smarter, it would have never happened."

Ami bit her lip. "If what you say is true, I'm not sure you could have done anything differently. I failed to see Serenity's trap too." She sighed, "I need to think about this Quatre. I need some time. I'm…"

Quatre shook his head, "Don't apologize, Ami. I knew this wouldn't be easy. I know you, Nymph. I know you need time to think. And I'll give that to you."

SailorStar9: Now that's done, read and review.