Eren POV
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Eren groaned and rolled over, his hand searching for his phone.
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"Motherfucking…" Both of his hands were searching towards the noise.
"Here."
Eren jumped at Armin's voice so close to him. He held out a hand and felt his now silent phone pressed into it. He hesitated, remembering the tone in his friend's voice. A cautionary tone with an underlying layer of scolding. Armin sighed before heading over and crawling back into bed.
"What time is it?" Eren asked groggily.
"Why don't you check your phone?" Armin countered. Yup. He has a good idea who called. Eren reluctantly pulled his phone up to his ear.
"One missed call from: Dad."Eren pressed a button. "One missed call at: 4:34 am."
"Four thirty in the fucking morning?!" Armin grumbled from across the room. Why would he call so early? To get me to pick it up and not realize who was calling? Or is it an emergency? Eren thought to himself, his phone clutched in his hand. After a few minutes of debate he decided to ignore his Dad. As usual. If it really was an emergency he would either call again or call Mikasa, who would then come over and get him.
Eren set his phone on the nightstand and snuggled into his sheets. For another four hours he clenched his eyes shut and tried to not remember. Instead he focused on the good memories of his mother.
Eren kneeled in the dirt, the coolness of it soaking through his pants. He reached out and brushed his chubby, little fingers over something slightly fuzzy.
"Mommy? What's this?"
A hand covered his own and showed his fingers the leaves and the stem of a plant.
"This is peppermint."
Eren wrinkled his nose.
"But it doesn't really smell like it."
His mother laughed beside him, pinching his fingers together and pulling off a leaf. Eren gasped.
"Mommy, did I kill it?!"
"No, sweetheart. Just took a bit. With water and love it will grow another." She placed the leaf in his palm. "Now, put it in your mouth and chew it. But don't swallow. Spit it out when you're done. Do you understand?"
'Yes, Mommy. No swallowing." Eren placed the leaf on his tongue and the flavor exploded in his mouth. It was sharp, making his mouth and eyes water. But his nose tingled and cleared, and he could smell things so much better. Then it faded, leaving a dull and slight pepperminty taste. He spit
it out and clapped his hands.
"Another, another!"
Her laughter echoed around him once more as she picked him up in her strong arms.
"Maybe another day, little one."
Eren sighed and shifted his position under the covers because his back was cramping. He recalled a conversation he had with his mom three years ago.
Eren walked through the door, just getting home from school.
"I'm home!" He shouted out, like he did every day.
"Hi, honey." His mother called back, like she did every day.
Eren frowned. Not again… For the third day in a row, his mother had sounded melancholy. He sought her out, hands trailing on familiar walls.
"Mom?"
"In the kitchen, sweetie."
And, again. She tended to bake when she felt down. He walked in to the warm smell of brownies. He inhaled with a small smile.
"Yummmm…." He stretched out a hand, which his mother soon took. Her hand felt gritty and he lifted it to his nose.
"Flour?"
She chuckled quietly. "I'm making a mess in here."
Eren didn't know how to broach the topic. He didn't even know what the topic was.
"Mom?" He carefully asked.
"Yes, dear?"
He pulled her hand up to his face, setting her palm on his cheek.
"Why are you sad?" He heard her breath hitch in her throat and she pulled her hand away. He reached his up and placed it on her neck, his way of asking to see her face. She sighed and leaned into his touch, her signal for yes. His hand explored up to feel a frown, more flour and some dough on her cheeks, and swollen bags of skin under her eyes. Her eyes themselves weren't puffed, thankfully, meaning she hadn't been crying recently. "Mom?" He prompted. She placed a hand on his and squeezed gently.
"Me and your father just aren't getting along right now. We are going through a hard time." His heart clenched and fear wormed its way in.
"Are you… Are you guys getting divorced?" His mother stiffened under his touch and she suddenly pulled him into a hug.
"No! Nonono! We aren't, sweetheart. I'm so sorry to worry you like that. No, we aren't getting a divorce." She hugged him tightly and he relaxed in her arms. Her voice rang out truth and honesty. He was relieved.
After a few days, things seemed to clear up and the tension in the house disappeared. Playful banter between his parents resumed and things seemed normal. Then a week later everything went to hell and his mother was taken from him.
Eren gave up on even trying to sleep, and opted to just keep his eyes open and let his brain wake. He curled up on himself as dark thoughts weaseled their way into his head. He checked the time. 6:27 am. He has to get up at eight. But oh well.
Eren climbed out of bed and felt his way to the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet, his fingers searching for something he hadn't needed in a long time. He hesitated before popping open the prescription bottle. Why couldn't his dad just leave him alone? He obviously needs time and space. Yes, it's been about three years, but grief doesn't fade so easy. And neither does sadness. Eren took the prescribed depression pills and swallowed them down with water from the sink. The water left a chlorine-ish taste in his mouth.
"Disgusting…" He muttered to himself. He pulled on some random clothes, only knowing that they were dark in color, before he grabbed his cane and backpack and left the room. He really didn't feel like going to class today. Well, actually, he didn't feel like doing anything today at all. But if he stayed in the room he knew he would just get depressed and think of things he really didn't want to. And Armin would notice, again, and then he would tell Mikasa and that would start a huge explosion of concern. She would urge him to go to back to counseling or some shit. He just didn't want to deal with anyone or anything right now.
So he went to the library, plugging in his music and blasting it into his brain. There was a small café in the entrance that was always open early. He sat there, drinking coffee and playing with his phone until it was time to go to class. While he was waiting he texted Levi. Eren needed to talk to him. Needed to feel normal and happy. But he had no idea how to go about introducing Levi to his past. Maybe it was too soon… Eren wasn't even sure if they were officially dating or anything. They shared a few kisses, that's it. He decided to wait. Levi can hear it another day.
To Levi
7:03 am
Want to meet up for coffee again?
By the time Eren got out of class, Levi still hadn't replied. Probably not even awake yet. Lucky bastard. Eren was walking to his next class. There was no point in going back to the dorm, by the time he got there he would have to turn around and leave anyways. He usually just sat outside the building until fifteen minutes before it started.
Voices around him faded as he turned onto the field. It was a stretch of grass in the middle of four buildings where students hung out or threw frisbies around. But it was the morning so it was pretty empty. He liked walking across, using it as a shortcut. He didn't have to deal with as much people anyways. But he only did it in the morning, when people usually weren't playing any sports. He would be able to hear the shouting, running of feet, and panting breaths if they were.
"Eren!"
He jerked his head up and froze. He knew that voice. Ohhh shit. He thought about pretending he didn't hear, but realized it was far too late. He was already stopped. Eren swallowed thickly and turned around.
Levi POV
Things had gone wonderful yesterday, Levi recalled as he ate breakfast, ever so slowly waking up. He hadn't intended to molest Eren yesterday in the sound proof room. Levi paused. Well. That sounded perverted. He hadn't intended to kiss, he corrected himself, Eren yesterday. It just happened. When the brat turned to him a grin on his face and cheeks red, all excited and throwing his arms around him.
Levi was surprised at the hug, he wasn't a very touchy feely person. But it had felt warm, it felt right. And when Eren had pulled away to apologize, Levi just couldn't let him. And one thing led to another.
Levi smiled to himself. He was alone. He allowed his lips to curve. He was happy that Eren hadn't pushed him away. He was happy that Eren had similar feelings. He couldn't wait to see him again. The world seemed so much brighter with the brunette around.
Levi got ready for a long day, dressing in comfortable cloths and grabbing brewed coffee. He always drank black coffee. Like his soul.
Levi chuckled to himself and went out the door. Right as it closed he realized he forgot his phone. Cursing he twirled around and struggled with his keys to unlock it again. He saw a light flashing when he picked it up. He cursed again, seeing how long ago Eren had texted him.
To Eren
7:40 am
Definitely. 2:00 again?
Levi sat in class, bored out of his mind. The professor was droning on and on about past painters that Levi didn't care about. He just wanted to paint in his own style. He pulled out his phone and discreetly checked it. He frowned. It was already 8:00 and no response from Eren. He usually replied right away. He shrugged and pocketed the phone, leaning his chin on his palm as he pretended to take notes. Halfway through the class his phone began buzzing in his pocket. He tilted it and looked down.
"Eren…" He murmered. Why on earth was he calling him? Levi was apprehensive as he walked quickly out of the classroom to answer the call.
His heart plummeted when he heard a panicked female voice on the other line.
Eren POV
"Hello, Dad." Heavy footsteps walked to stand in front of him.
"Hello, son." A deep voice replied. A voice that sent chills down his spine. Why? He had no fucking clue. "You've been ignoring me." His dad continued. And oh boy, he did not sound happy. Eren swallowed again.
"I told you. I just need time and space."
"What, from me? Or memories of your mother?"
"I just…. Need space, alright?"
He heard his father huff.
"How am I the problem? What did I ever do?"
Months and months of pent up anger boiled in the back of his mind.
"You married another woman shortly after the funeral of your wife!" He snapped. His father sighed again.
"I'm not allowed to be happy? Is that what you're saying?"
Eren clenched his fists. "No, that's not what I'm saying. Your wife was murdered and barely in the ground before you found someone else to replace her. Did you even grieve?"
"I did not replace your mother! And of course I grieved!" He growled at Eren.
"When? When did you grieve? When you arrived drunk to the funeral and gave a shitty speech? Did you grieve when you ignored me? Did you grieve when you only came home to sleep smelling like alcohol? Did you grieve when you fucked another woman?" Eren was suddenly yanked forwards, his father fist gripping his shirt. He could feel rank, hot breath wash over his face.
"Shut up." His father warned. Eren stupidly ignored it.
"Oh look. Your breath doesn't reek of booze. What an achievement. Mary must have really done a number on you." His father shook Eren.
"I said, shut up!"
"I had to feed myself, look after myself. Mikasa was the only one who cared to help, and I barely knew her." Eren spoke softly, anger dissipating bit by bit. "Did you even realize how depressed I got? My friends did. If they hadn't intervened, who knows where I would be now." His father said nothing. "Maybe I would be in the ground, next to Mom. Would you then replace me with another son?"
Silence fell between them, only filled by heavy, angered breaths from his father.
"I already have." He spoke just as soft as Eren had.
Eren froze. "What?" He whispered. His father released his shirt and stepped back.
"Mary is pregnant."
Eren felt like he was going to puke.
"Then why come here? Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"
"I will never leave you alone! I will never let you go!" He spat out. Eren furrowed his brows in confusion.
"But why?"
His father inhaled deeply and replied in a broken voice. "It's your fault. It's all your fault." Shock buzzed through Eren, raising the hairs on his arms. All feeling drained out of him until he was empty, numb.
"What?" He whispered again. "How… How is it my fault she died?" His father heaved sob, his breath shaky.
"She loved you so much. She loved more than me!" His voice changed. "Her preciousson, oh so perfect since the day you were born. Well," He sneered, "Until you were blind." Eren was gasping quietly, his heart racing.
"What?" He sounded like a broken record. He heard a step forwards.
"You dare ignore me." His father said darkly. "You're coming home, son." A hand grabbed his shirt again. Fear choked his throat.
"Let go." He said in a shaky voice.
"No." His father laughed at him.
"I'll start screaming." He leaned close to Eren's face again.
"No you won't. Or I'll-" Eren didn't give him a chance to finish. He started screaming.
"HELP!" His father jerked back and cursed, releasing his shirt. He heard shouts in the distance. He sighed in relief. Until pain exploded across the side of his face and he fell backwards. He sat in shock. His father punched him. He actually punched him. He lifted shaky fingers to the swelling skin on his cheek. Eren heard running all around him and someone suddenly kneeling beside him. He flinched away.
"Hey, hey, it's alright. My name's Krista." A female voice spoke to him reassuringly. "Don't worry, ok? He's gone. Some other boys are chasing after him."
Eren still sat in shocked silence, his hand still raised to his face. He flinched again when a hand settled on his shoulder. Krista quickly withdrew it.
"What's your name?" No response. "Do I need to call 911?" No response. "Is there someone I can call for you?" She sounded really worried now. Eren didn't care. He just wanted to forget what just happened. He barely felt it when his phone was pulled from his pocket or hear someone else kneeling across from him.
"Is he all right?"
"I don't think so, it's like he's gone catatonic or something." He didn't see the hand waving in front of his face or hear the fingers snapping in his ear.
"Ymir!" Krista hissed. "He can't see!"
"Oh."
"Ymir, look. He texted this Levi guy. Let's call him." By that point, Eren had pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms. The two girls fell silent. He heard whispers all around him. He felt like he was being scrutinized. He squeezed his eyes shut and put hands over his hears. Now he was left to the voices in his head. Echoes and snatches of the conversation he just had with his father.
"Your fault."
"All your fault."
And suddenly he was being pulled into familiar arms. Warm, safe arms.
"Eren…" Levi whispered into his hair. Eren wrapped arms around him and pulled him closer, burying his face into his shirt, right over his heartbeat.
"What happened?" Levi demanded in an angry tone. Krista spoke up.
"I'm not sure. He was arguing with some big guy and then he started screaming for help."
"Then the dude punched him in the face." Ymir added.
The hand on his back moved around until there were fingers under his chin, slowly tilting his face up. There was sharp intake of breath as his thumb gently brushed over the bruise.
"Did anyone catch the fucking bastard or see who he was?"
Eren tensed when he heard a chorus of "No"'s and "He got away". Levi tightened his arms around him. Levi swore under his breath and carefully pulled Eren to his feet.
"Come on, let's get you home."
"Home. You're coming home, son."
Eren tensed again and pulled against Levi's grip, which only got tighter around his waist.
"You want to stay at my place for now?" Levi asked softly. Eren stilled and relaxed. He nodded into Levi's chest. "Alright, let's go." He pulled away only to weave his arm with Eren's and grab his hand.
"Wait!" Ymir called out. Levi paused.
"Here's our numbers if you need us to be witnesses or anything."
"Thanks." Levi replied. Eren felt his arm move, probably to grab a paper.
Everything after that went by in a blur. Levi led him to his car and brought him somewhere. The last thing he remembers is being led to a couch before falling asleep.