Chapter seven:
The Ball
I didn't want Erik to think that I was going our of my way to avoid him, which of course I was, so I continued to make my excursions to the barn. Erik steered clear of me and I of him. However I did notice, much to my humor and satisfaction, that a few days later when I decided to ride Ange again, Erik managed to stay nearby.
The End Of Summer Ball was drawing near. Moonraker's was in the turmoil of preparation. Everyone was excited and full of happy anticipation. This was a very special ball, it was designed where no servant need be on hand, so that any servant who wished to attend, could. It was an old tradition that if a servant did not attend it was a polite, yet unmistakable way to say he or she was not was not happy with his or her station. Whether it was money or treatment, the next day the servant was granted a audience with the Mistress of the manor to discuss what could be done. There had been only a few instances over the past years, but no one had not attended for the last two years.
I had my dress fitting. Mme Beucard, the seamstress, was wonderful and did an absolutely beautiful job. My dress was to be of dark royal purple velvet. It was slightly off the shoulders, the neckline dipping down, but not too low, to form a slight V shape. The bodice came down to a point in the front, which was the fashion of the day. The skirt was full and I would be required to wear crinoline under it. It had numerous gathers with a rosette of some sheer matching purple fabric at each gather.
I was ecstatic. I was sure that this ball would be, by far, the best I had ever attended. Life seemed good at the moment, Erik was the only discordant note in my life. I was the happiest I had been since my Mother's death. I gave little thought to the future I was so contented with the present time. Perhaps if I had been more aware of the changes, however slight they were, some of the future pains I would have to face might have been averted or been made easier to bear. My father seemed always preoccupied and absent minded of late and I became slightly worried. I had affection for my father but he was a stranger to me, I was so busy with the preparations that I gave little thought to his oddness.
I should have known that a shadow was about to cast itself overhead.
There was always a breakfast buffet set up in the morning, and although I rarely ate breakfast, father almost always did. It was on one of these rare occasions that I met father and, although little was normally said, he began making small talk. Perhaps I should have been forewarned, but I had no inclination on what he was about to present.
The conversation grew quiet for a moment before he said rather haltingly: "I suppose you are looking forward to the ball." It was more of a statement than a question. I smiled a little.
"Of course. Everyone is very excited about it."
"Yes, yes of course." He paused for just a moment before he seemed to make up his mind about something and plunged forward.
"There is a man who will be attending, an acquaintance of mine, he is the Comte Fontaine. I would like you to get to know him, I think er, that is I hope, you will get on well. He will be staying for at least a week or so after the ball." I nodded in compliance, obviously the impact of his words was slow in coming. I was thinking of how I should have one of the maids prepare a room. He nodded as well, with a very satisfied look on his face.
"Good day." He stood, still looking very pleased, and went out of the room. It was about sixty seconds before the full meaning of his words hit home. It's amazing how, just a few minutes ago, I was willing the ball to come sooner. And now I was dreading it with all my being.
Father was planning an arranged marriage.
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I had convinced myself that I had misunderstood father's meaning, I had always been rather dramatic. I consoled myself with this thought for awhile, Jane after hearing my story agreed with me. But later, when I found father in his study, I got the truth from him. I was getting older, nearing nineteen in fact, and needed to find a husband before it was to late. I needed someone to look after me when father was no longer around.
Perhaps I had built my life around fairy tales and fantasy, but I had always dreamed the idea of a marriage filled with affection and passion. To me, duties due to a husband seemed very unappealing without love coming into it. It's true, I was almost nineteen and some people whispered of me becoming an old maid, but I would rather live a lonely life than marry without love. I tried to dissuade my father from the idea, but to no avail.
For me at least, the preparations for the ball were now almost unbearable. But they must be made. I yearned for the friendship I had had with Erik, but I was to prideful to go to him. Jane, Father, Myself, and of course the Comte were the only ones who knew of what I liked to think of as my impending doom.
The great happiness I had known vanished, with it's vanishing came a sort of restlessness. Nothing seemed to keep me occupied for very long. I was like a child who wanted to do everything yet nothing would satisfy me and I couldn't stay in one place for very long. Jane had a sister, Annette, in France with whom she corresponded frequently. Jane had always said that Annette knew of everyone worth knowing in France, so I asked her to write to her sister and see if she had heard of this Comte Fontaine, since Father had just told me wait and see. The reply was quick in coming: Annette did not know him personally, but he was supposed to be very well off and have quite a large estate.
Before then I hadn't realized the great possibility of me leaving my most beloved Moonraker's and thoughts of leaving it were painful. The ball was in two days and I was overwhelmed, so I went to the barn to get away from it all. Robert was sweeping the isle and immediately asked which of the horses I wanted today. "I don't think I'm riding today, Robert."
"Shall I bring out your brushes then?"
I shook my head. "No thank you, Robert." He looked a little quizzical for a moment before he said:
"If you don't mind me saying so Miss Lessa, you look a might bit down. Is there anything I can do to help?" I smiled a little to make him feel better, he was always very kind and helpful to me. "I'm afraid not Robert. There's not much anyone can do. I just came to see how the horses were today." He seemed to take the gentle hint.
"Well, if you need me Miss, I'll be in the tack room."
Just as Robert was going around the corner, Erik was coming out and I vaguely wondered if he had been listening to our conversation. I didn't want him to notice how depressed I was feeling so I put on my best front. I felt a great disappointment when he just walked past me without a word. I couldn't repress the tingling sensations I always felt when he was near, this time I chose to blame it on my nerves. I tried to think of something, some excuse to stop him, but none came.
A few moments later I returned to the house, my spirits even lower than before.
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The day of the ball had arrived. I had made a firm resolve with myself: I may be forced to marry this man, but he would never guess my disappointment, nor would anyone else. He may be ruining my dreams but I would still strive for happiness. I would enjoy this ball that I worked so hard on.
A strange sort of morbid curiosity overtook me as to what type of man this Comte was. I had pictured a man, not to short, yet shorter than I, rather rotund with a round face and thinning hair. He would be domineering, loud, and have a sort of mean humor. Then I had pictured a short man, skinny and lanky, he would be sly, shrewd, and sneaky. These thoughts alarmed me, but they refused to leave me in peace. More than once I caught myself thinking: if only it were Erik. I would gladly marry him. I would pretend to be shocked at my surprising thoughts, then I would shake myself and be in a fowl mood for a time.
I found myself becoming more and more gleeful of the fact that Erik had no choice, in all politeness, but to come to the ball. I wanted him to see me in my dress and all my grandeur. I wanted to prove to him that I was no child, that I was indeed a woman.
That evening I bathed in rose water and took extra time polishing my nails till they shone. I began to fret over my looks and became haughty with everyone. I was always vain, but this time is was different. Erik was going to be there. I didn't seem to care what my future husband thought of me. Jane arrived and covered the mirror with a sheet, ordering me not to peek until I was completely finished getting ready. She helped me to dress and then began the long and arduous process of brushing out my hair. I was impatient and once she began actually putting my hair up it took her at least thirty minutes to finish, it seemed like hours, but unfortunately I had a clock to deny the fact.
Jane adorned my hair with miniature white roses and seemed very proud with the finished product. I was going to put a small amount of rouge on my lips, and headed towards the mirror to unveil it. Jane immediately jump between me and the mirror. "I said when you were completely through, love. I'll do that." She added the finishing touches and readjusted my dress. After a moment I could tell she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure. She stood back and looked at me, her eyes were very moist, and I knew that she was fighting tears.
"Your all grown up. Your not my little girl anymore. You know I always fancied that you were." I had to blink back tears of my own as I threw my arms around her. "Oh Jane! I'm so afraid of the future!"
"Your in God's hands, love. Just remember." She cleared her throat and became her normal brusque self again. "Your crushing your dress." I stepped back, smoothed it out, and went to stand in front of the mirror.
"I'm ready now Jane." She pulled the sheet off, and there I stood. I took a small step forward.
"You look regal enough to be the Queen herself."
I was shocked, why I was almost beautiful!
I shook my head. "I think someone has cast a spell on this mirror Jane." She clucked her tongue at me and began leading me out of the room. "All right now, enough with silly nonsense. Off with you! For a hostess to be late at her own ball would be very tacky indeed."
The ball room was very grand. On one end was a large spiral staircase, every step with a lighted candle to the outside. Down the banister hung a garland decorated with numerous fruits from the forest. The opposite end had large double doors that opened wide for a airy room. To the left of these doors were two smaller rooms. One was where guests could take a respite from the noisy ball room to talk sensibly if they so wished, the other was opened to the dining hall where the table was laden with innumerable meats, drinks and sweet confections. To the right of the great doors was another door leading into the garden. It had been lit extraordinarily well and all the fountains had been scrubbed to the point of sparkling. The ballroom itself was breathtaking. The cathedral ceiling made it appear much larger than it truly is. The tile on the floor gave the illusion of being gold with silver streaks, and there were hundreds of flowers placed about the room.
Father met me at the bottom of the stairs. I was looking around the room for Erik, but I saw no sign of him. "The Comte has not arrived yet, but he did say that business might detain him for an uncertain amount of time." I felt slightly embarrassed, here I was going to marry another man and I hadn't given him one thought since I descended the stairs. Although I tried to hide my relief at his late coming, Father shook his head. "In time, Lessa. In time you will understand." I was going to ask him what he meant, but someone drew his attention away from me.
Because of the large size of the ball I was not required to stand at the door and great those who entered. So I began to search out a familiar face, and found it in little Marie, Cook's daughter. Marie was a little slip of a girl, probably about seventeen, she was quiet and thoughtful, but hardly shy as she would tell you exactly what was on her mind if you asked. There was always talk of her not being quite in her right mind, I always tried to quiet such chattering but I could not stop it completely. Sometimes she was normal enough, but other times she would seem very childlike. When she was like that everyone called it one of her 'moods'. She was standing by herself looking decidedly unhappy, so I went on a mission to find what the matter was and cheer her up.
"Why, what can make you so sad on a night like tonight Marie?" I could tell she was in one of her moods.
"I only have one necklace. No earrings or bracelets. And when I was trying to put it on, it broke. I look like a ugly duckling." She pouted a little and eyed my jewelry despairingly.
"I see." I chewed on my lower lip. It was a silly thing of course, but every one should be happy tonight. I was racking my mind for some consolation to make her feel better, then I had an idea.
"I have just the thing to make you feel better." She looked a little dubious, but I smiled my assurances and she brightened a little. "I'll be back in just a few moments." I hurried back to my room and pulled out my jewelry box. I dug around until I found exactly what I was looking for. It was a necklace of three braided gold chains and three small diamonds were set in the middle. It was beautiful without being overly extravagant looking. I never wore it do to the fact that I disliked diamonds, they were colorless, unfeeling stones to me. I quickly pulled out a matching bracelet and earrings, both were of the same braided gold but neither possessed the diamonds.
Suddenly I realized that more guests will have arrived and possibly the Comte would be among them. I'm not ready for this, I thought, I can't do this. I quickly became panicked and almost sick to my stomach. It took a few moments to calm myself, but when I returned it was with dignity.
I had scarcely began to descend the stairs when I saw them. Marie was standing close to the bottom of the stairs with tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Erik was with her, but his back was to me. Her eyes were intent on his face but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I couldn't stop the insane hammering of my heart when I saw him. Faintly I heard snatches of what Marie was saying. "So she said… …I waited… Maybe she for- Oh! There she is!" She spotted me on the stairs, her face lit up. Erik hesitated momentarily before he turned to face me. I pretended to not have seen them among the throngs of people. I felt Erik's gaze on me and longed to take just one glance to see if there was any appreciation in his eyes, but my pride wouldn't allow it.
I finally made a visible note of them at the bottom of the stairs and took a sweeping glace at Erik. He was wearing much the same as usual, except his shirt was whiter and look ironed. He had a simple brown jacket, as was the fashion for the less endowed, and instead of a white leather mask he wore a black one that covered the whole top half of his face. Erik was a stunning picture. As simply dressed as he was, I could easily picture him mixing with the aristocrats.
There was something in his eyes that I wanted to believe was admiration, but perhaps I was being too self-absorbed.
"Good evening, Erik." I tried to tell him with my voice and eyes that I forgave what he had said, I wanted to be on good terms tonight. I needed to be on good terms. Something flashed in his eyes, I wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't seem good.
"Miss Delaine." His reply stung. I understood exactly what he was saying. I swallowed disappointment and turned towards Marie.
"I found just the thing to fix our problem Marie. And you can keep it." I held up the hand that I had the jewelry in. Her pale blue eyes grew round with disbelief.
"You don't really mean that?"
"Of course I do, silly. Turn around and I'll do your necklace." I put it around her neck and she quickly put her hand to it as if she were afraid it would disappear. "My own necklace…" I heard her mutter dreamily. I threw glance at Erik, who was looking back at me. He had something in those golden eyes that almost seemed like… Affection. I shook myself, now I was the one who was silly. I gave her the earrings to clip on and then her bracelet.
"Now, I'm sure you're the bell of the ball." She giggled and nearly clapped in delight, I knew I looked just as delighted as she. Someone called to me and I was drawn away from Erik and Marie.
I danced the first dance with an elderly gentleman who had long been an aquatince of my father. After that, the first thirty minutes whirled by and I even found myself forgetting from time to time that my soon-to-be fiancé could arrive at any moment. Balls were the best way to communicate gossip to others and I could hear and see several people whispering about something. I assumed that it was obviously something to do with me because every time I passed by a group of whisperers, the subject would be immediately changed.
I cared little, and felt no curiosity. People always wanted something to talk about, especially if it had to do with someone elses life, and often that someone else's life had been mine or my fathers.
The room was stifling and for the moment I was alone, so I decided to get some fresh air in the garden. I had not gone very far when I heard voices. They were very low and it was clearly a private conversation between two giggling girls. I could catch faint snatches of their conversation, but was not paying any heed until a few words caught my attention. It never occurred to me that I was eavesdropping.
"Oh yes! Everyone is talking about it!"
"Did no one inform him that this wasn't a masked ball?" There was a fit of giggles and I strained to listen to the conversation.
"I can't believe the old man hired him, Delaine must be loony!" This was a male voice that I hadn't heard before and I felt sudden anger rising at the mention of my Father.
"They say he wears the mask because he's a hideous monster." Once more there was a few giggles and this time the man joined in laughing.
"Did you hear of how one of the maidservants went missing right after he was hired? She just disappeared. All the other's say that he threatens them constantly."
"Oh!"
"It's true. They say he's the devil himself and he's got his eye on the mistress of the estate."
"He's a beast!"
I wasn't sure if I had ever been so angry in my life, and I was about to let that miserable trio know just was I thought of their pack of lies. I only made one step, however, before a hand clamped around my arm and pulled me back. I jumped in surprise and whirled around, ready to lash out at the person impeding me. The breath left me in a whoosh when I saw it was Erik.
He was standing there looking so…. Helpless.
"Don't." It was a quiet, commanding voice that meant to leave no room for argument. I hated the resignation that was on his face and in his eyes.
"You heard those… those loathsome creatures!" I spoke in a harsh whisper. I made to pull away and to my surprise, he let me.
"I have always heard them. No matter what you, do they will continue to talk." With that he turned and left. I stood there for a few moments collecting my thoughts. I had always been able to sympathize with others easily, but feeling Erik's pain was almost more that I could bear. I knew I would give anything to see him smile, and I would give even more if I could be the one to cause that smile. I wasn't sure why, I just contributed it to the fact that I enjoyed making people happy and Erik was an especially hard case so I wanted it more than ever.
I had returned to the ballroom at the beginning of a rather dreamy waltz when it happened.
It had probably been building on itself for a while and I was to wrapped up in myself to pay any attention. Because of Marie's mental state she had few, if any suitors at the ball, and Erik took pity on her. I hadn't seen Erik dance any beforehand and I was delighted that he was making Marie feel better, but slightly ashamed of the jealousy I was feeling. A few of the couples that were on their way to dance turned away and slowly, much to my astonishment, the couples that had already began to dance stopped.
Father looked slightly embarrassed as Cook walked up to the only remaining pair and led a very unhappy Marie off the dance floor. The rumors had grown to the extreme, as had my temper. The band continued to play the waltz somewhat timidly, I was glad at least they hadn't stopped.
Erik stood there for a moment and I had never seen such a look on anyone's face. It broke my heart and gave me such pain. He was turning to leave and I never even stopped to consider my next actions. I walked towards him determinedly and laid my hand on his shoulder, he stiffened for a moment before turning around to face me.
"May I have this dance?"
His eyes widened with shock. "Don't be foolish!" he hissed.
"I will indeed look foolish if you refuse me." I muttered. He took my hand and I was surprise at how small mine felt in his large hand. The band gained confidence as we began to dance, and slowly a few embarrassed faces began to reappear on the dance floor.
"I'm sorry Erik. I feel so ashamed about how your were treated." I couldn't stop my anger from bubbling up again. His golden eyes seemed to search my face for any hints of sarcasm. "Those horrid rumors…." I trailed off unsure of what to say or how to say it in a ladylike fashion.
"I'm no saint Lessa." The words were unexpected but I retorted: "No one is."
"Some less so than others." He had a humorless smile on his face and, for some reason, his words made me feel very naive.
I shook my head. "I don't doubt it. But God loves us and will forgive us no matter what. And I can't judge someone's actions when I don't know what those actions were." He had disbelief written all over his face and I became silent. I didn't want to be one of those Christians who forced their beliefs on others. I would witness through my actions, God would open his eyes and his heart in His own perfect timing. I sent up a silent prayer that it would be soon.
We lapsed into silence for a moment before I caught the voices of a couple who had whirled passed us a few times. I recognized their as two of the voices from the garden and when they danced close again I asked Erik:
"So, how many parlor maids have you seduced today?" He caught on quickly and I saw him smile a little with those imps dancing in his eyes. Without missing a beat he replied with a mock guilty lilt in his voice. "Only three or four today, Lessa." I glanced at the other couples' face's as both looked on in shock. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and I must have been imagining things, but it did feel like he tightened his grip on me a little. I had never felt so content and so happy as I did in that moment, it was like pieces to a puzzle falling into place. Strangely enough, it frightened me a little. Perhaps it was because I wasn't sure how to deal with it. But nevertheless, when the dance ended so did that strange feeling. We made the formalities required and Erik escorted me from the dance floor back to my father's side. I could tell father wasn't sure whether to be glad I had put an end to the awkward situation or mad because I had made a spectacle of myself. He nodded his greeting at our approach and motioned to a rather tall man at his side that had his back toward us.
"And here is my daughter now. Lessa I would like you to meet Comte Fontaine. This is Erik Giry." And so here was my future husband. He was as tall as Erik and was the storybook innotation of the handsome, yet authorotive prince. His hair was a darker blond with light blue eyes. When he kissed my hand, his eyes never left my face.
"Good day Miss Delaine. I am very glad we finally meet at last." He had a pronounced French accent that was like velvet and would have made Lenore dizzy, but instead of feeling like the princess I had a sudden fear of this man. Despite his perfect good looks there was something disturbing about him. I remembered my resolve to not let anyone know how unhappy I was, so I forced a smile.
"Good day M. Fontaine." He turned momentarily to Erik and his face did not seem so benign as it did when he addressed me. "Giry, is it not?" I noticed he did not offer a handshake to Erik and I had to swallow my indignation.
"Yes." Erik turned to look at me with a hooded expression in his eyes. "Good day Miss Delaine." It was so hard not to beg him to stay, I was afraid of this man, of the future, of my feelings, and I needed Erik. I needed to be strong as well, so instead of begging him to stay, I smiled at him. "Thank you for the dance Erik." He nodded and left silently.
I turned towards M. Fontaine and automatically said "I hope your journey to the country was not too tedious."
"Indeed it was not. In fact, it was most delightful for I had much to think on. I deduced from your fathers words that you must be pretty, but I was wrong. You are most.... beautiful." The words he was giving me sounded nice enough, but there was something in his eyes, I couldn't understand it but it made me feel vastly uncomfortable. We chatted for a few minutes more and he managed to throw in a compliment at every corner. He apologized for not asking me to dance but said that he found it something that he did not enjoy. I tried to hide my releif, but it was hard to do so. The conversation eventually turned to business which I was only able to contribute to a little of the conversation. Father did not like me knowing details about the business and I had argued many times with him about it, but he claimed it was wrong for a woman to run a business.
The rest of the evening drug by with a painful slowness. Erik left early for, though I contunially looked for him, I never saw him. It was past three before the last of the guests left and father sent a servant to show M. Fontaine to his room. Before retiring father gave me the words I had been dreading to hear.
"You'll learn to like him Lessa, I feel you got on well." I could tell he was happy and content, he had that look on his face that he always got when a large business plan went well. "I hope to announce your engagement in two weeks. That should give you sufficient time to get to know him."
At least I had fooled father, but I could not fool myself. I shook my head at his retreating back. "I don't want to like the man I marry." I whispered to the empty room.
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This was by far the longest chapter I have written so far and I hope you enjoyed. Because of it being so long it's harder for me to edit mistakes so it's possible there are a bit more than usual.
Terra21 - I wasn't offended in the least bit! In fact, I was very delighted to hear your review.
Everyone's reviews mean so much to me, and I can't thank you guys enough for the encouragement! If you haven't already, feel free to check out my other story. It's a one-shot that I wrote quiet a long time ago and I would love to hear some fresh opinions on it.
Thanks again!