So I have been neglecting you and this time I have no excuse. I have a reason. But no excuse.

What's my reason, you're probably asking yourself. You are probably going ok Lily just tell me.

Again, I don't know who I'm talking to.

I have a good reason though I swear.

I don't want this to be a Potter book.

And I think you know which Potter I'm talking about.

Because for the last oooh 5 days I can't stop thinking about Potter.

James fucking Potter.

It's just that….that sleep over.

Just…

Oh. My. God.

This sucks.

This is not supposed to be happening.

Maybe if I right it down it will be better….

Here goes nothing.

You're a book you can not judge me.

You can not judge me.

I am sexually attracted to James Fucking Potter.

I just had a dirty thought because James and Fucking were just in the same sentence.

Im loosing my fucking mind.

I wanted to jump that mans bones at that sleepover.

If, you, the book, do not know what that means it means, I will explain. I wanted to shag him. Snogg him, Make love. Get hot and bothered. Get my knickers in a twist. Ravish him. Taste him.

Basically I wanted to fuck Potter.

Purely on a sexual 'Im-15-and-a-horny-virgin-and-he's-fucking-gorgeous-and-walking-around-shirtless'-sense.

Nothing more.

So let's start from the beginning….

Charlotte comes over at around 6 to make sure I had everything (Like I couldn't just run across the street and get it) She made some comment under her breath that I might not come back.

That was a little stressing.

But she's my best friend and if she wanted to torture me and make me spend the night I would.

Though I had suspicions of ulterior motives of why she wanted me over for the night so badly.

So here we go, flashback time….

*5days ago…*

"Come on Lily, its not like you're staying for a week! Though you could if you wanted…" She sang that last part in a teasing manner.

"Yeah, I just desperately want to stay so I can ogle your brother and sneak into his bed at night to shag him senseless."

"Really Evans? Cause that's exactly what I had in mind…" Fucking Potter was standing at my door.

"WHO LET YOU INTO THIS HOUSE?" I reeled around, completely red in the face. Honestly, since you're a book and therefore can NOT judge me, I don't know if it was because I was so angry or so embarrassed he heard me say that.

But for the sake of the story, let's say anger.

He put his hands up in defense and said "Whoa, there Lily Flower. Your mom said it was A-okay for me to come up here. She's a really charming woman. Called me handsome." He winked. "Smart women she is, I see where you get it."

"Oh shut up Prongs, she called me handsome. Get your story straight." Sirius came up the stairs, grinning. "We just got invited for dinner Evans. You should have heard her."

Potter looked at me and grinned "Ah, yes, how did she say it?"

Sirius started an amazing impression of my mother, nose wrinkle and all. "You two are the most charming young men I've ever had the pleasure to meet."

Potter then took over, with just as good as an impression. "You two just must come over for dinner sometime. Lily has told me so much about you two."

Back to Sirius, "Seems you too really make that school entertaining…"

Potter: "I don't know how you two come up with—"

"ENOUGH!" Charlotte and I screamed.

"Jesus, she'll never spend the night with you two acting like you're mental. It took arm twisting just as it is. "Aw, come on Charlotte, you know you love me." Sirius winked.

"Hey that's my sister!"

"Eh." Sirius said, still looking over Charlotte.

"Packed Lily Flower?"

I nodded over to my bag, about to grab it when I saw a masculine hang grab the straps instead. I looked up to find Potters face inches from mine.

"A man never lets a lady carry her own bag."

His breath smelled minty fresh and he smelled divine. Like a day at the beach. You can't describe it. It was musty and manly yet like pineapples and oak, with a mixture of sunscreen lotion and it was heaven.

NOTE TO SELF: no more smelling Potter. Or talking (like I would ever) so erm writing about his smell. It leads to furthering my mental state into more of a frenzy.

Oh. My. Merlin.

Potter is making my mind go into a frenzy.

In a good way.

GAH! Back to the flashback.

So then we walk over to their house and I see Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting on two of those comfy arm chairs in the colossal living room I saw earlier.

"Hello Darlings." Mrs. Potter said. "Ah, we have a new guest…Red hair, bright greens eyes, beautiful…"

"Must be Lily Evans" Mr. Potter finished. "We've heard so much about you from—"

"Charlotte." Mrs. Potter said and smiled at her husband as a warning or something.

"Of course." He nodded.

"Well, anyone hungry? We put a pizza in the oven. I think Harold and I are going for a dip in the pool. Then to bed."

"You crazy kids have fun." He winked and walked off laughing at something with his wife.

"James, could you give Lily's bag back we want to go talk for a while in my room."

He smiled and offered to bring it upstairs but I said I could handle it.

We walked up a very long stair case and went down the hall to the left. She opened a door that was filled with pitchers of herself, Charlotte, me, her brother, Sirius, Remus, Her parents, and some muggle friends I didn't know. She led me into her room. It was very pretty; a large iron black canopy took up most of the room. She also had a dresser, a full sized mirror that matched her bed, a red chair, red drapes, a large sound system, and a mural of the beach on her wall. Her color schemes were red black and a pretty teal. It was strange but it was Charlotte. It was the opposite of Melanie's hers was pink and yellow. Mine was purple and green.

It all fit our personalities to a 'T'

I sat down my bag on her bed and she flopped down onto it. I sat on her chair and started to laugh. It was just so weird to think that the next room down Potter slept there. I told Charlotte what I was laughing about and she started laughing too then off handily said "Oh god that's where he jacks off to your name every night!"

My laughter stopped.

It all became real.

And disgusting.

And I wanted to run into her bathroom and never come out.

So I did.

I felt like puking. Like something was seriously wrong with me. She always teased me about things like that. I sat down on the toilet, deciding I needed to pee.

I wondered what was going on with me. With my strange wanting of Potters body, with this emotional weirdness….

I thought about the date and it struck me.

I looked down and saw the culprit.

I was on my period.

Life was good again. I yelled for Charlotte to bum a tampon and we were laughing back to usual in no time.

So glad me wanting Potter's body was only because of my weird 'I need to fool around with someone' syndrome before I have my time of the month.

Or so I thought.

Ugh. Hormones.

So we went downstairs and they had already eaten half the pizza.

"Jeeze glad we come down" I commented.

"we' griffin oozs"

"What was that?" I said laughing at Sirius trying to talk with half a slice shoved into his mouth.

"He said," Potter said before swallowing everything. "We're growing boys."

"How did you know?" Sirius asked before taking a sip of Pepsi. I was putting two slices of pizza on my plate.

"Because that's what I was going to say!" They grinned and high fived.

Then they realized that their 'cool' façade had just crumbled and they mumbled something and Potter ran his hands throw his hair as Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. Charlotte and I busted out laughing at them as we took bites from our pizza and sips from our soda.

We talked and laughed and it was great. Then however we heard their parents coming back inside and we all looked at each other and all at the same time said

"Pool Time."

We all raced upstairs to go change into our swim suites. I put on my string purple bikini and Charlotte put on her black one. We looked damn good.

We ran back downstairs and jumped into the pool.

On top of Sirius and Potter.

Apparently they can change faster.

Let me tell you, landing on Potter was awkward…..

But I got past it when he dunked me.

There goes my sexy hair….

He held me under until I kicked him in the shins. He let go and wobbled around cursing.

"Merlin Evans I would have let you up!"

"Yeah but this way I get to watch you limp and scream like a little girl."

"Your harsh Lily, you're harsh." James said still holding his shin.

"God James why do you like her? Think of all the willing women you could be with scoring right now instead of having your shin broken…."

"Eh," Potter said looking at me, in the eyes. Like, he was looking at me. Seeing everything I've tried so hard to hide from everyone else. "It's worth it." He let go of his shin and walked over to go down his water slide.

I watched him for a while.

Until Charlotte splashed me.

We all just swam for a while then I said I had a game to play when things were settling down. They agreed after I explained the rules. We had to choose one person to play the shark and the rest were going to be the fish. Potter was the shark. The water fall was the base where we could only stay for 10 seconds. And the stairs was where he had to take us for one of us to become the shark.

We all swam far away from Potter. He went after Sirius and it was big battle. Charlotte and I didn't help.

I think Charlotte had ulterior motives for that too.

Like the fact that she wanted to Sirius to capture her.

Sirius, I think, had ulterior motives as well because he looked like Potter was just carrying him over there.

The next thing I know Sirius is carrying a screaming Charlotte to the stairs as Potter and I sat on the bench under the water fall.

Away from everyone. From everyone's sight.

Isn't that just fucking great?

So then he grabs me and whispers in my ear that Sirius and him had a plan to both be sharks and to take both the girls down.

Uh huh. SURE.

Whatever gets you to sleep at night, Potter.

But I played along because honestly who wouldn't want to feel two very strong arms wrapped around you carrying you in a pool?

Oh. Um. Me. Of course.

Wait, no you are a book, I do NOT need to be ashamed. You can NOT judge me.

So yeah it was pretty great. I giggled and squirmed and screamed 'Potter! Put me down! Potter I'm serious!"

He stopped then pulled me closer and not in the air anymore. My feet still not touching the concrete though.

"I will if you agree to something."

I just knew that he would ask for a kiss.

"Call me James."

He surprised me.

I stuttered for a moment. He hands on my bare waist relaxed some. But still held me.

"I call you Lily, its only fair." He said after a few moments.

"Ok, James."

It felt sooooooooooooo weird saying his name and not be yelling his full name.

He smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure….James." I said it again to get the feel of it. It was a nice name it rolled off the tongue, it was soothing and a consistent name. You could count on someone with the name James.

"Can we Lily?"

I totally missed his question. He better not be asking what it sounded like…

"What?"

"Could we be friends Lily? Please? I promise I won't bug you, and I won't act like so much of a child, and I've been trying not to do that thing with my hair, and all I'm asking for is friendship. Scouts honor." He let his right hand go of me and crossed his heard.

He looked so adorable. And to think my mind had gone to a dirty place.

"Of course."

Say what? Someone took over my body I swear…

He smiled then and Sirius starting clapping and howling. Charlotte was giggling and clapping as well.

"Thank god!" She yelled.

"And Prongs?" Sirius yelled from the bar, "You were never a boy scout."

James looked down and grinned at me.

"Who needs a drink?" Sirius yelled.

James hopped out of the pool and said he that did and Charlotte and I agreed. Then Charlotte came over to me and start gushing. I wasn't really paying attention. I was watching Sirius make drinks. He looked like a professional bartender.

Anyways, I was right basically is what Charlotte was talking about. Sirius and she have been flirting even more than normally and since I was the sensible best friend I told her to be careful and reminded her of how much of a player he was.

"I know that! I thought you would be happy Lily." She huffed.

I knew that she was just mad because I had brought reality upon her once again.

She needed it though.

Too much time in la la land gets you in trouble.

Later that night when we were all inside and dried off we all sat in the arm chairs in the living room. It was a great night. But a little weird since I had packed black shorts and a green tank top. I put on my bra though, at least until bed. Since Sirius and Charlotte were lying on the floor now and James was sitting next to my arm chair.

We were all just chilling talking about nothing then Sirius gets up with new excitement in his eyes.

"We should play a game."

"If you say spin the bottle I'll smack you." I said.

He laughed and said "No, but it's just as cheesy."

"Truth or Dare." The rest of us said.

"Yep." He popped the 'p' with his lips.

"Oh dear." Everything in my body was screaming not to do this.

And what did I do?

What every teenager does.

Ignored it.

"Ok, who first?" Charlotte asked.

"I should ask someone first since I thought of it."

"Alright, but lets make this game quick, Lily and I need to get to my room and have a real girl sleepover."

James laughed "Oh what? Put on facials and talk about the hotties at school and how they rank?"

"As a matter of face, yes." Charlotte said.

"But why talk about them when you could be playing truth or dare with them?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eye brows at Charlotte, "Who knows? Someone might dare you to kiss the hottest guy in school."

"That would be amazing!" Charlotte said, putting her hand to her face.

"But why would you want to kiss your twin, sis?" James joked.

Charlotte looked crestfallen. "But Greg Hemings isn't here!" She turned to look at Sirius and pouted her sexiest, playful pout. "I thought you said the hottest guy in school?"

"Greg Hemmings?!" Sirius stood up. His hands in fist. "He is not the hottest guy in school!"

I stood up. "Well there's only one way to settle this out. Truth or dare. Wizard style. If you don't tell the truth when that's what you pick you will have purple pimples for the next 5 weeks. Same if you don't do the dare unless the dare is life threatening, that wouldn't be fair to James. Hahaha, just kidding." I smiled at him.

He looked like someone who just had the best climax of their life.

Christ.

Anyways, I said the spell and the games began.

"Charlotte, who do you think the hottest guy in school is?" Sirius asked.

Charlotte sighed. "To me or our whole year?"

"Both"

"To our years it's either James, Amos, Lucius, Greg or You. It depends on who you are."

"Lucius?" James asked.

"He could be sexy if you were into that."

James made a gagging noise.

"And to you?" Sirius asked.

Charlotte took a deep breath. "You."

Sirius smiled.

"Ok….hmmmm who will be my victim…?" Charlotte pondered. "James truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Next week I want you to….find a way to get into Lily's house without using the door, anything on the wall, or magic. At 2AM, without getting caught."

"Why?"

"I want Lily to be asleep and talking and have you hear her." She winked.

"I hate you." I said.

"What are you going to be saying huh Evans?"

"Nothing Potter."

"Suuuure."

"Yep," He rolled his eyes at me.

"Alright Lily Flower, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you secretly like it when I call you Lily Flower."

Damnit.

"Yes."

He smiled even more than before.

"Mine turn. Sirius, truth or dare?"

"Hmmmmm truth."

"Have you ever wanted me even though you're best friend has a thing for me?"

"Once in third year, then Prongs told me he had feeling for you, so I never had them again."

Dead. Silence.

I turned to James.

He has liked me since third year?

Third year?

Holy shit.

"Third year?" I barely whispered.

James was looking at Sirius. "Thanks Sirius."

"Sorry."

"James." I touched his forearm and I saw Goosebumps erupt.

James looked up at me.

"I understand if you don't want to try to be friends anymore." He said softly.

"No, I still want to be your friend."

"You're sure?"

"Yes." I kissed his cheek, and got up. Pulling at the hem of my tank top.

"Goodnight James."

I took Charlotte's hand and we went upstairs.

But not before I saw James touch his cheek with his hand.

*end flashback*

This is going to be a Potter book.