Juliette was at the kitchen table, sipping a hot cup of tea, her mind still going over what Layla had said in her short visit. Make sure not to hurt Avery again. She had indeed gotten lucky...once again. She had almost lost him for good and if she lost him again...it most likely will be for good. He would find a woman that wouldn't make either of her or Layla's mistakes.
But she always hurt him. In both their break ups, it had been her to break his heart in pieces and stump on them. Who said that it wouldn't happen again? Could she really trust herself not to? God, she loved him so much...she would rather die than hurt him...but what if she couldn't help herself? After all, she did have a problem with self sabotage.
Maybe it was best to just let him go now and save them both a whole lot of pain later. Maybe she was just meant to be alone...or in short term relationships, where no one got hurt at all.
She closed her eyes at that solution. She didn't like it all...but if it would save Avery heartache and pain...she'd do it. At least she knew that he would be happy and well loved by someone that couldn't hurt him as badly as she kept hurting him...
The knock at her door pulled Juliette from her thoughts. She frowned, wondering who that could be so early in the morning. She had no meetings or interviews planned and she really wasn't expecting a visit with Cadence. She had been expecting a morning to herself, to plan what to do about the Avery situation. Sadly, it looked like that wasn't going to happen.
Sighing, she opened the door and blinked to find Emily and Avery, with Cadence in his arms, smiling at her.
"Emily? Avery? What's going on?" She stared, confused.
"Good morning!" Avery and Emily greeted in unison.
"What is this?" Juliette frowned.
"Nothing really. I was wanting to treat you to breakfast," Emily began to explain, but was interrupted by Avery.
"And I was thinking that it would be nice if you, me, and Cadence had breakfast together...and we ran into each other at your front door," Avery explained, his smile bright and happy...the happiest that Juliette had ever seen it since her return from rehab.
"And I was thinking that since both of us had the same idea, we should join forces and take you to breakfast together," Emily grinned. She couldn't think of anything she'd like more than to have breakfast with the two people that she considered to be her best friends in Nashville. "What do you say? I can cook..."
"Or I can. I've perfected my mom's bacon, cheese, and egg scramble," Avery offered. "Or we can eat out if you rather."
"I think the scramble sounds good," Juliette smiled, taking Cadence out of Avery's arms, hoping that he didn't notice her gloomy mood. "I had just done some grocery shopping so I should have everything you need in the kitchen."
"Perfect," Avery grinned, leaning in and giving her a tender kiss before heading into the kitchen, leaving Juliette and Emily to themselves.
"Where are my manners, come on in," Juliette smiled, ushering her assistant/friend into the living room.
Emily smiled and walked in, depositing her purse on the cocktail table. "It looks like you're settling in nicely."
Juliette shrugged. "I'd like to thank so. It feels so wierd to be back home and not traveling somewhere. But I'm glad that I have this time to just be still."
"I understand. Don't get me wrong, I love touring with you, there's nothing like being at home, surrounded by your things. Just being able to think without having be somewhere or do something."
"And it's good for my baby girl as well," Juliette smiled, cuddling Cadence some. The sound of sizzling eggs brought Avery back to mind and the task she had convinced herself that she had to do to make sure that he was happy and she wouldn't end up hurting him. "So, you and Avery seem to be close..."
Emily frowned, remembering the time when Juliette and accused her of having something going on with Avery behind her back. She had been hurt and confused by the accusation. "We're just friends, Juliette. We mostly only talk about you."
Guessing at what Emily was thinking, Juliette chuckled. "I'm not jealous or anything. I was just making an observation. I'm glad that you two have become friends...in fact, you're good to him...in fact, you're better than I am. A girl like you would never have hurt him as much as I have..."
Emily reached over and placed a hand on Juliette's knee, sensing the sadness in her friend's voice. "You didn't mean to..."
"I never mean to. But I do anyway. I can't even explain it. It's like I can't just let myself be happy. I can't hurt him like that again...I...he...he needs to be with someone who knows how to have a healthy relationship and doesn't always sabotage herself..."
"Well obviously, he doesn't want to be with anyone else. He wants to be with you. He loves you...rather deeply. He wants to be the family that you and Cadence deserve."
"You can give him that family, Emily..."
Emily frowned. She didn't understand Juliette. She had wanted to get back with Avery so badly, but now, just when it looks like it's going to happen, she was trying to give him away on a silver platter, and by looking at her, it was making her miserable. Something had to have brought this on.
"What happened between now and the last time we spoke? You told me on the phone that things were looking good with Avery and by how happy he looks to just be in the same area as you...I say that you were right. But now you are here, trying to give him up to me...which I refuse to accept by the way. Something must have happened to fill your head with doubts. Out with it," Emily crossed her arms and gave Juliette a look that told her that she wouldn't accept anything less than the truth.
"I just don't want to hurt him again," Juliette looked away as Cadence grabbed a strand of her hair.
"And giving him up to someone else in the midst of you two reconciling won't hurt him?"
"Not as much as it would if I hold off," Juliette sniffed.
"But it'll hurt you..."
Juliette just shrugged. "It's what I deserve, don't you think?"
"No. I don't. Neither does he. You deserve to be happy and loved, just like the rest of us, Juliette. Stop being so hard on yourself. I mean...god, look at what the love between you and Avery had already created," Emily reached out and touched the baby's head. "This beautiful little girl. She ties you two together. That in itself shows that you are deserving."
Juliette paused, letting Emily's words sink in. "Perhaps you're right...I just don't trust myself not to screw up again. I want to be the woman he deserves...but every time I try..."
"You are the woman he deserves. At least he thinks so. Come on, tell me. Who put these doubts in your head like this?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes it does. It had to be someone that knows the both of you and don't want you and Avery together..."
"Okay...Layla stopped by last night."
"Layla Grant? She had left town, according to Avery..."
"She was on her way, but she stopped by. She apologized about going to the press about Jeff...then she told me not to hurt Avery again. That next time, I won't be so lucky. That he'll find a woman that's better than the both of us and she won't make the same mistakes that we had..."
"And now you're convinced that you'll end up hurting him. Juliette, forgive me...but that's bullshit. I mean...how would she know that you'd hurt him again?"
"Well, I've hurt him three times before. Each time, I was given another chance to do better and each time I mess it up. Who is to say that I won't do it again, huh?"
"You do. And so do I! So does Glenn, and Deacon and especially Avery! Look, you're not perfect. Neither is Avery and you both know that. You have both hurt each other...but you keep coming back because what you have is real! Don't sabotage it because of that jealous witch! Layla has no idea what she is talking about!"
Juliette sniffed, rubbing the tears out of her eyes. "I wish that I had your faith."
"I'll lend you some. Just don't go and do something stupid and ruin the best thing in your life...next to Cadence of course," Emily chuckled, as the baby smiled and giggled trying to stuff her mommy's hair into her mouth. "I think she's hungry. I'll go fix her a bottle."
...
As soon as breakfast was eaten, Emily decided to take Cadence to the park, giving Juliette and Avery what she thought was much needed time alone. Just by how quiet Juliette seemed through breakfast, Emily could tell that what Layla had said still weighed on her. Hopefully, the blond will open up to Avery and he could sit her straight again. She really would hate to see things between Juliette and Avery fall apart, just when they were about to be put back together again.
Avery had disappeared into the kitchen to deposit the used dishes into the dishwasher and returned with two fresh glasses of coffee.
"I figured that more coffee wouldn't hurt either of us," He replied, ready to sit down and talk. Juliette's silence had not escaped him. Something was wrong. The furtive looks that Emily kept giving Juliette and the way she insisted on taking Cadence to the park was enough proof of that. He was certain that whatever was on Juliette's mind, the assistant now knew of it.
"Thank you," Juliette accepted the large cup of coffee and took a sip. "Tea wasn't really doing it for me this morning."
Avery just smiled and sat next to her, not saying anything for the next few minutes, trying to read what kind of silence this was. Sometimes, just by being quiet, he could sense Juliette's mood. Right now, it felt pretty heavy. She wasn't happy about something, but he didn't know what. Was it him? He had thought that they were finally in a good place. What could have changed between now and the night they had spent awake, talking about their relationship?
"So...are we just going to sit here in silence, or do you want to talk about what's on your mind?" Avery went ahead and broke the silence. He would normally let her just open up to him on her own, but something told him that it would be best to make her talk to him.
Juliette looked at him, examining his face and committing all that she loved about him to memory. His beautiful, deep blue eyes that always seemed to pierce and read her soul and his mouth. How she loved his mouth. He had the most lovliest mouth that she had ever seen on a man and it created the brightest smiles that lit up those eyes like the sun. She didn't want to give them up...but she also knew that if she didn't...those beautiful eyes would be full of tears. She didn't want to be the reason for those tears anymore...
"Talk to me," He reached over and took her hand, his eyes urging her to talk to him, promising that there was nothing that they couldn't fix or work through.
Juliette sighed, feeling herself give in. She was just going to be truthful with him and let him make up his own mind. If he was smart, then he'd run away...far far away and find someone deserving of those eyes and that smile, and the love that she wanted to just drown in. "Layla stopped by last night...and she made me realize something..."
Avery's stomach dropped. What did Layla do now? What did she say to put Juliette in this mood and what did she hope to accomplish? He was almost afraid to ask. "What did she say?"
Juliette tore her eyes away from his, but her grip on his hand tightened, as if he'd disappear before she got what she had to say out. "She told me that she was leaving and not to hurt you. That next time, I won't be so lucky, that you'll find another woman that's better than the both of us and won't make the same mistakes..."
Avery frowned, his eyes darkening with anger at his ex. Why did she do that? Was she addicted to causing Juliette pain or something? He was so glad that she was gone now. Now she can stop causing grief. "I'm sorry Juliette. You shouldn't have had to deal with her...but she's gone now and..."
"It's not like she's wrong. I mean...I do keep hurting you...and you keep forgiving me and giving me chance after chance. Sooner or later, it'll be one time too many and you'll find someone new...someone better..."
"That's ridiculous. I mean...that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Avery shook his head.
"Is it really? I do keep hurting you Avery...over and over again and...I don't want to be the reason for your tears anymore. I don't want to hurt you anymore...but there's just something about me...and what if I can't help it what if no matter what I do...I'll end up hurting you again...I don't want to take that chance," She got to her feet, pulling out of his grasp so she could pace the floor. "I should just end it now before I hurt you worse than ever before. You deserve to be completely happy...and I...I can't give that to you...not for long. I'll mess us up again..."
Avery sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at her again with patient yet sad eyes. "Juliette..."
"Tell me that it isn't true! That you haven't continuously been hurt by me! That I'm not the one that causes our break ups."
Avery should have known that this would happen. That Layla would have a little bit more damage to do before fleeing town. He shouldn't have been so stupid and let her leave on her own. He should have driven her to the airport himself, just to avoid this. But there was nothing to be done about it now. Sighing, he walked over to Juliette and grabbed her shoulders, stopping her pacing.
"Stand still and listen to me, alright? Okay, sure you've hurt me. You were the reason behind our breaking up each and everytime. But that is in the past...and for the record, I did my fair share amount of hurting you as well..."
"Only in response to what I had done..."
"Doesn't matter. I had still hurt you. As for you doing it again...well of course you will. You're hurman, Juliette and so am I. We'll both hurt each other again, it's inevitable."
"What happened to when you love someone, you rather die than to hurt them?"
Avery winced at his own words being thrown back at him, but he deserved it. It had all been a part of the lessons he had learned. "Well that's true. I rather die than to hurt you because I love you so much and I know it's the same for you. But back then, I was naive and had this...vision of perfection...I had placed you on this pedistal and...well I was wrong to do that...just like I was wrong to expect you not to make mistakes. We love each other...we rather die than to hurt each other...but because we're human...we're going to hurt each other. Mistakes will be made. What matters is that we learn from those mistakes and we keep communication open, so when we do hurt each other, and we will. We can't pretend that we won't...we can work through it instead of letting things fester and implode."
Juliette sobbed. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I...but I will and it kills me...that's why I was thinking of letting you go...because I rather die than be the one to hurt you again..."
Avery felt his heart ache at her tears as he wrapped her in his arms and held her close. "Juliette...nothing can hurt more than you pulling away from me just when we're getting what we had back. Look, I know what this is. It's self sabotage and I had promised us both that I wouldn't let you and I'm keeping that promise, starting now. I love you and I'm not going to walk away. Never again."
"Even if it's the best thing to do?"
"It'll never be the best thing to do. Not for me and not for you."
Juliette sniffed and hugged him back, accepting his decision. She had tried to let him go...okay, not very hard, but she did try, but Avery wanted to stay and she didn't have the strength to fight him on that. She'll just have to work hard on not hurting him and being the girlfriend that he deserved.
"I love you, Avery..."
"I love you too. Nothing can or ever will change that."