(In this chapter, Ralph wants to visit his Mom's gravesite and Mike agrees. It is going to be hard visit for both of them. The boy really needs his new brothers now, don't you think?
Please read and let's see how Ralph does with the new situation.)
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Ralphie stared out the window as they drove off the ferry onto the entrance to the town. He barely remembered it. His memories were hazy and half formed. When the demon had changed him, it had taken most of those memories away. He remembered his mom a little, her face smiling down at him as he went to bed or one of the millions of times he did something normal that she just found to be the most amazing thing she had ever seen. She had been great that way. He looked down as his eyes misted up. He just wanted to see her grave this one time, it was all he needed.
Shortly after he had be healed from what Linoge had done to him, he had asked his father about her, his memories then were barely emerging from the fog he had been in. His father had said that she was on Little Tall still and she had remarried. He asked him if he wanted to see her. Ralph sighed and said no. He remembered her betrayal.
Michael had called his friend anyway, planning on telling her about Ralph but then he had got the news. She had passed on days before from heart complications. Doctors couldn't explain, and the others couldn't either. They lied. The townsfolk has seen what the secret was doing to her, her husband, his friend, had seen it happening. Her shrink on the main land had seen it happening, seen her breaking under the burden of her secret. The secret they kept, they all kept, Michael spat. The secret he kept and hated that he did. Now they kept another secret, all but him and Ralph, they admitted the truth, at least to each other. Molly had not died from heart complications, although Michael was sure the heart had been involved. She had died from a broken heart and guilt over what she had done, and could never undo. Michael finally forgave her then but did not regret leaving. She had betrayed him, they all had. He could forgive that, they had been afraid. No, it was that she had and the townspeople had betrayed Ralph and let that thing take him away! That Michael could not forgive and nor could Ralph. It left a bitter taste in their mouths but they could live with it.
Now they were returning to that place so Ralph to visit Molly's grave. Neither really wanting to be here. One hating this place with every fiber of his being and the other angry and anxious, unsure of what to say when they got to her graveside. Michael noticed the looks the townspeople were giving them. Hope lay in those looks, pleas for forgiveness as well. Michael would be giving them neither. He just drove on.
They parked near the gravesite and Ralph asked if he could go alone, Michael said okay and let him walk over to it, sad for his son and not knowing how to help him, all love gone for the woman who lay in the grave, that had fled when she had pulled that black stone from the bag, when she had said she would do what Linoge asked, over his protests and pleas. She had given up that right when she had given their son away to a monster, and shattered her husband's loving and devoted heart in the process.
Michael saw them coming, most of them already turning back, guilt driving them away. He smiled bitterly at this, good, they deserved it. He met them halfway and kept them from Ralph's line of sight.
Tessa spoke first, timidly. "You found him. You got him back." She looked away from his anger.
"Yes, no thanks to you folks." Michael spat, holding his temper in check and keeping an eye out for Ralph.
"Is he okay now?" Mrs. Hopewell asked eyes on Ralph who sat on bended knee laying the flowers on the grave.
"Yes." Michael said, they deserved no explanations.
"How?" Tessa asked, hope lighting her eyes.
Michael just shrugged and looked at them, wanting them gone.
"We're so sorry, Mike. We made the wrong choice. You know we didn't really have a choice, you know that don't you?" Tessa begged, and the others nodded they felt the same way.
"I don't really care anymore." Michael spat again, " I only ask you leave us be while we're here. We're taking the next ferry out of here. If Ralph wants to see you, he can." He looked over to Ralph who was standing up now. He was done.
"Sure thing, Mike. We understand." Their shoulders drooped in disappointment and they walked away.
Michael felt tears in his eyes and fought them. He felt a hand take his and looked over at his son. Ralph watched the others and his eyes were cold, angry.
"Do you want to talk to them, Ralph? You can if you want, I won't stop you. They're good people, they just got lost along the way." Michael asked, this was his son's decision, he would not influence it.
"No. I just want to leave." He watched them go and hated them. Hated them with every fiber of his being. They had given him to that monster and betrayed him. His father was willing to jump into the water and die, disappear without a trace like Linoge had said they would if they didn't give him what he wanted. He had fought for Ralph. He had looked for Ralph until he found him. He had healed him and gave him his life back.
They had kept their secret and told the cops he had wandered out into the storm and died. Michael never did that. His father had done what he needed his father to do, the others just kept their secrets, like they always did.
He smiled up at his father and they walked to the car. They drove to the ramp and pulled onto the ferry, glad to be away. Ralph said he didn't ever want to go back, his father said okay. That was that.
The townspeople watched them leave and hid. They could not face the angry pair. They could not blame them for their feelings. They had betrayed them both in the most fundamental way. They would never know how Michael had been able to find the boy or heal him from whatever the demon had done to him. This was the Andersons' secret and theirs alone. They felt the guilt and shame inside themselves and accepted it. This was their price for bargaining with the demon, and they would keep paying it until the day they died.
Michael would have liked the sound of that if he had known, so would Ralph. They were in hell and the thought would have given him great pleasure, if he had known.
As it was, he merely let his son lay down in the backseat and rest. He watched the water lap around the bottom of the ferry and smiled. He would never have to see that place again. This pleased him very much.
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Ralph had been quiet since they had gotten back on the road. He hadn't spoken much since they had left Little Tall. Once they were in the room, Michael asked his son if he was okay, did he want to talk about it. Ralph assured him that he was just thinking and not to worry.
Ralph did eventually pick up the phone and make a call to his brothers. He needed to talk to someone and he needed them.
"Hello." Sam said as he answered the phone.
"Hi, it's Ralph." Ralph said nervous.
"Hi, Dean, it's Ralph!" Sam nearly shouted, he was that happy to hear from him. He heard the phone move as both Sam and Dean put the phone so they both could talk to and hear him. "What's up? Are you okay?" They asked, was he calling for help?
"I suppose so. I went to see Mom's grave today." Ralph explained, sadness creeping in.
"Oh." The boys said, knowing this must have been hard on them both, but Ralph especially.
"I'm evil." Ralph said, crying a little at the memory.
"Don't say that! You could never be." They assured him ,trying to help him, to comfort him.
"I was before." Ralph sniffled, he remember that part all too well.
"You're not now and you weren't then. Whatever you did or didn't do was not your fault. We don't want to hear you say that again, we mean it, Ralph." Dean growled, knowing what Ralph was feeling.
"Okay." Ralph went silent. He felt ashamed of himself.
"Now tell us why you would say that." Sam insisted, the boy was hurting.
"Don't tell Dad, but when I went to the gravesite and put the flowers on it, I felt almost nothing. No, I felt nothing. This was my own mother's grave and I felt nothing for her, no connection, and no real grief. Then the people showed up and Dad kept them away. I went over to them as they walked away and I hated them, the hate felt so evil to me, so cold." Ralph explained, crying softly into the phone.
"Hey, don't do that. After what they did, after what you went through, it's normal, it's okay to feel that way. You don't remember her, the memories were mostly erased by that demon. You are not evil. It's okay to hate them, they betrayed you. All you can do is let go of them now and be with your Dad, that's all that really matters. You understand, Ralph?" Dean explained, damning every last townsperson, including the kid's own mother to the lowest ring of hell. They belonged there.
"I know that I guess. It's just, I should have felt something, shouldn't I? She was my mother after all. I'm sure she loved me at some point. Yet I feel nothing for her. It seems wrong somehow." Ralph finished softly.
"No, it's not wrong, Ralph. If you don't feel anything, you don't feel anything. You have to let this go, forgive yourself for this. It doesn't make you evil or anything." Sam soothed him as best he could. He and Dean expressed another protective look over the phone.
Ralph didn't say anything for a while but eventually asked, hesitantly, "Dad is taking me to Coney Island tomorrow. Can you come with us, please?" They were probably too busy with hunting something, he realized, it was okay, they had listened to him and he did feel better.
"Sure, kid. We'll meet you by the food stands. We have to fatten you up." Dean declared happily. They were going to find the shortest route there and see him. "Where you guys staying anyway in case we get there early?" They were definitely getting there early, they really wanted to see the kid. He needed them.
"Amsterdam Motel off of Route 6, I think. Room 4." Ralph smiled glad they were coming.
"Cool, and Ralph?" Sam asked, as Dean wrote down the information for them. "Tell your Dad this stuff, too, okay? He probably is worried about you too." Michael would want to comfort his son.
"I will. I should have told him first I suppose. I just felt like a monster and was afraid to." Ralph admitted, his Dad did look worried.
"We'll see you then. Ask your Dad what time he wants us to meet you there." Dean insisted, knowing this would be a moot point in a few hours. He had found a quick way to where they were and was plotting his trip already.
"He said 10:00am. When they open." Ralph laughed at the thought of seeing them. They were going to have fun.
"We'll be there." Both boys said into the phone and hung up.
They exchanged a happy look and then Dean handed Sam the map. "We should be there in a couple hours. No problem." He pulled off the side of the road and turned the car around. He revved the engine and sped back the way they had come from. There was a boy waiting for them, and they weren't going to disappoint him.
In fact, they were going to surprise him by showing up on his doorstep. Ralph was going to be so surprise!
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(I feel so bad for Ralph right now. Michael, too. Ralph is an awesome kid!
Please review and please don't flame. I do take criticism fairly well.)