VII

All was quiet in the Stormcloak camp that morning when my eyes fluttered open. Instinctively, I had covered my face with the furs in my sleep as a way to combat the cold. Now, all I wanted to do was sleep forever knowing I had an important job to do. I reluctantly got up and started to hastily put on my armour. Once I was ready, I brought my hands to warm up in front of the fire in the center of camp.

Ralof was already up, cooking a small animal on a spit. "Morning. Want to share this with me?" He grinned. "Save you from hunting yourself." He turned the stick slowly, ensuring that the flame cooked every part of the rabbit.

"What about the rest of the camp?" I asked, taking my position on the log next to him.

"We all just kind of fend for ourselves around here. But you get the good stuff." He winked.

I clicked my tongue, giving him a very noticeable eye roll. "I come from a family of hunters. I know how to survive."

"So, does that mean you don't want any?"

I sighed, giving into the smell. "I would."

He laughed. "That's what I thought, Ice-Veins." His shoulder playfully bumped into mine and I shoved him right back. It felt good to just let loose. We ate silently, enjoying the comfort from each other.

(~~)

Galmar had arrived at our camp late that morning, and had set up his large tent near the back of the camp. I figured he was compensating for something with the size of it. He didn't pay the least bit of attention to me, but went straight to Ralof to give him orders. When Ralof returned to the center fire, he was carrying a map. He sat beside me and my curiosity got the better of me. "What is that a map of?" I asked.

He flashed me a gleaming smile. "Would you like to know what task we have?" He taunted.

"I wouldn't mind. I can help."

His smile was almost sad. "A bunch of our men have been captured in Fort Neugrad. I need to find some way to rescue them without harming our friends."

I frowned. This, at least, was something I could actually help with instead of fighting. I stared at the map, trying to figure something out. "Wait," I said suddenly. My index finger landed on a sketching of a small opening that looked like it was under the lake. "Is that another entrance?"

Ralof narrowed his eyes. "It appears to be. Maybe we can use that to sneak in. I'll get some men out there."

"I can do it."

"What are you talking about woman?"

"Look," I stood up. "I have a lot of experience in sneaking. I can sneak in and free the prisoners. The cave seems to lead to the prison, based on the blueprint."

"Do you think you can do that without getting caught?"

I stared down at him, annoyed. "Do you think I've lived a righteous path my entire life? I've done countless questionable things in my lifetime. Stealth is child's-play for me."

Ralof sighed. "I don't want to put you in danger like that. Sketchy background or not."

I put a reluctant hand on his shoulder. "I can do this. Please, let me try. I'm an excellent swimmer."

He looked me directly in the eyes; even then the hesitation inside his was apparent. "That innocent look in your eyes is making it hard to disagree with you. No wonder men would fall to their knees before you." He whispered.

My eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

He smirked and shook his head. "Skadi, I'll let you do this. But, if anything happens to the men inside the fort, I cannot guarantee your safety."

"Why am I always being threatened?" I mumbled.

"There are a lot of men who think that you're Ulfric's whore." He said bluntly.

"WHAT?!" I snapped.

"It's not just that. Even though you're the Dragonborn, you deserve the same treatment as every other recruit. You've been given special privileges that the rest of us would have had to work for. Just do your best to prove yourself. Show everyone that you deserve to be that high of a rank."

He was right. My internal lust for power clouded my judgement. "I won't let you down Captain," I smiled.

(~~)

By that night, a group of Stormcloaks, their captain, Calder and I were crouched in a safe area outside Fort Neugrad, preparing for my infiltration. Ralof pointed to a lake. "Skadi, you're going to have to silently make your way underwater to find that cave. I think, by an approximation, it will be around there." My eyes followed his finger which landed on the backside of the fort by the lake.

I nodded. "Understood. I'll find it." I pulled on my Nightingale hood to better conceal me with the darkness.

"You'll be careful milady?" Calder asked. The concern in his voice made me smile.

"Don't worry Calder. I'll be fine." I reassured him.

"Once we hear fighting we'll come to your aid." Ralof stated. "Gods be with you," he added with a worried smile.

I nodded. "I'll see you soon." I snuck away from the group and hid myself behind a small tree, poking my head out to observe the fort. There weren't many soldiers on watch, but I saw one roaming around the lake where I was trying to get to. I knew I could carefully sneak attack him with my sword, but I wasn't going to risk getting my friends killed.

I practically crawled my way towards the lake, using the darkness and the small mountain beside me as cover. Once I snuck past the soldier, I carefully made my way over to the fort and placed my back against the wall of the fort itself. I shimmied along the stone until my boots touched water. This is it, I thought, peering into the lake. It had seemed so long since I had done a real mission like this. My hands were itching for blood…

I clenched my fists. Focus. Quietly, I walked into the lake until I was deep enough to submerge myself. I searched around, looking for the darkest part of the water. Once I found it, I took a deep breath and ducked underneath. I forced my eyes open and I swam towards the small cave that was near the bottom. I struggled to make my way to the deepest part of the lake on one breath of air. I passed through the cave, and finally I saw light just as my lungs were screaming for air.

When I finally reached the surface, I gulped in as much air as I could and climbed out of the water. I crawled up onto the rock, trying to steady myself. There was a tunnel that hopefully led into the fort. I gripped the hilt of my sword and sighed, walking into the unknown.

(~~)

The tunnel ended and poured right into the prison of the fort. There was an Imperial officer sitting at a desk, apparently asleep on the job. I snuck around him, locking eyes with one of the Stormcloak soldiers in a cell. I put my finger over my mouth to silence the man. He nodded his understanding and I crept over to his cell, pulling a lock-pick out of my boot. From examining the lock, I concluded that it was poorly made and would open rather easily.

I focused on my task at hand, and within seconds the lock clicked open. The soldier quietly pushed the door open. "Get yourself armoured," I whispered. "I'll free the others."

He nodded and crept over to a trunk that probably contained all their weapons and armour. I got to work opening the locks and the captured men filed out to armour themselves. Behind me, I heard the slicing of a blade through skin as I opened the last lock.

"That's for imprisoning us," one man hissed.

The last soldier in the cell looked like he had definitely been tortured. His face was a gruesome sight. His left eye had been cut out; recently, from the blood all over his face and clothes. It reminded me of the deep scar I had gotten on my cheek from Imperial soldiers.

He stared at me emotionlessly, as I grabbed his hand to pull him up. "Come on, we have to take the fort," I said kindly.

The man managed a small smile, nodded and walked out of the cell to his comrades. "What are our orders?" One soldier asked me. "You're on our side, aren't you?"

I took my hood off so the soldiers could see my face. I flashed them what I hoped to be a gentle smile. "I am. Ralof sent me in to free you men. He said he and the rest of the soldiers would come to our aid as soon as they heard fighting."

The man nodded. "We knew Ralof would come to our aid."

"Are you men strong enough to fight?" I inquired.

They looked at each other. It was obvious that they hadn't eaten or had much in the way of hydration. "Yes ma'am," one of the soldiers stated.

"Are you sure you can fight?" I asked the man with the missing eye.

He merely stared at me, like he couldn't believe that I was so forward. I sighed and picked up the greatsword from the dead Imperial's body. I handed it to the large Nord, with a kind smile. "You look like a man who favours two-handed weapons." His large hands gripped the hilt of the sword. He met my eyes, and gave me a slow nod.

(~~)

The rescued Stormcloaks fought their way through the fort, led by me. I had memorized the map of the place, and brought them to the courtyard. I stayed inside, as I had decided to look for the Nord man with the missing eye. He had disappeared somewhere inside and I worried that something had happened to him.

After looking for a few minutes, I found him standing calmly over a writhing Imperial inside a bedroom. The Nord brought his eye to mine as I entered the room. I all but ignored the Imperial. "Is this the man who cut out your eye?" I asked softly.

"Yes," the Nord said after a while. His voice was deep and rough, just like his appearance. He was tall; taller than Ulfric, or even Calder, and he was strong. I barely noticed the gory gouge on his face. I was used to wounds.

I sat on a bed on the other side of the room. "What's your name?"

"Hjorn," he replied, "no family name."

"Well, Hjorn. Why are you staring at him like that? Having troubles seeking revenge?"

"What would you know of this?" He hissed.

"I had to seek revenge on the men who beat my parents to death and hurt me too. I do know something of this," I offered a kind smile.

The Imperial soldier on the ground was bleeding out from a shoulder wound. Hjorn must have stabbed him to bring him down. I didn't understand the turmoil he was going through. Regret never crossed my mind when I had to kill the men who ruined my life.

Hjorn exhaled sharply. "What is the right thing to do?"

"There are two things you can do. Let him go, or kill him. Which would you regret more?"

"I – I don't know." He bit his lip.

I got up off the bed to face him. "For me, revenge was the best choice. I'd kill them all over again if I had to. Once they were dead, I felt peace. I never regretted what I did. Perhaps you may. You seem like you have more of a conscience than I did back then."

"You're a good person," he commented.

I smiled wryly. "No, actually, I'm not. Either way, the other option – to let him go – is a tough choice. That, of course, is the right choice, but it doesn't mean it's the best one. You may come to regret it; it could keep you up at night. Now, you must ask yourself, which choice will you regret more?"

He was silent for quite some time. "I would never forgive myself if I let him go."

"Then you know what you must do."

He sighed. "It won't get me my eye back."

"No," I agreed. "It won't."

The Imperial stirred. "Let…me go," he said in a shaky voice, as he tried to stand.

"Shut up, scum," Hjorn smacked the man back down to the ground.

I leaned against the opposite wall to give Hjorn his room. How I missed this. The thrill of the hunt, the feel of warm blood spilling out onto my hands; the light leaving my victim's eyes gave me a sick sense of jubilation.

It was a few years since I had killed for pleasure, and now I was doing my best to fight my evil nature by not giving into temptation. But this…this was something I could indulge in. Hjorn killing for revenge; that was the most satisfying and energizing kind of kill. I wished someone would challenge me, and then I could gratify this insatiable lust for blood.

"Get up and grab a weapon," Hjorn snapped at the Imperial.

The Imperial looked bewildered. "What?"

"We're going to fight. This is your chance to kill me," Hjorn taunted.

I smiled. He hadn't lost his spirit after what happened to him. I stayed motionless against the lone wall with my arms crossed over my chest.

The Imperial smirked through the obvious pain in his shoulder. He grabbed his sword in the hand that wasn't injured. "Smart move injuring my sword arm. Too bad for you that I'm actually better with this one."

"Enough talk milk-drinker!"

"You'll be missing that other eye before I'm done with you," he said thrusting his sword at Hjorn.

Hjorn dodged the blade with ease, and put on a steady grip on the greatsword. The battle didn't last long. Despite his handicap, Hjorn's strength was completely overpowering for the smaller Imperial.

Within a minute, Hjorn's sword decapitated the man, sending his head flying onto the bed. His blood covered the Nord, and he stood there, trying to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and tilted his head up towards the ceiling. "That peace you described," he said after a while. I thought he had forgotten about my presence.

"Yes?" I straightened my back.

"I feel it." He looked me in the eye now, offering me a hesitant smile.

(~~)

Hjorn and I walked outside the fort together. I squinted at the sunrise. When did it become light out?

"Skadi!" Ralof said loudly, when he saw me coming outside.

Hjorn looked at me. "Wait…Skadi? You're the Dragonborn."

I barely had time to nod before Ralof pulled me into a tight hug. "Gods woman, I'm glad you're alright."

I felt a little awkward hugging him back, but I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his back. "Were you worried?" I teased. This was getting uncomfortable for me.

Finally, he let me go. "Of course I was worried. The men said you stayed inside the fort."

"I went to find Hjorn." I nodded over to the man beside me.

Ralof blinked at Hjorn, noticing him for the first time. "Why don't you go see the healer?" I suggested to the large Nord. He nodded, walking away from us.

"How went the battle?" I asked, eying the mass of Imperial dead bodies.

"The fort is ours, thanks to you." Ralof smiled.

I shrugged. "It wasn't my doing. I never killed anyone here."

"You saved my friends. This will never be forgotten."

"Where's Calder?" I asked suddenly, starting to worry.

Ralof looked surprised. "I…I don't know."

I paled. "Oh gods…" I started to run around the courtyard in a blind panic. I found a tent located near one end of a wall. Please be in here…

He was inside the healer's tent, kneeling down beside an injured woman. "Calder?" My voice cracked a little.

He turned and gave me a smile. "Milady."

"Thank the gods!" I threw my arms around the back of his neck. "Don't do that to me again."

He patted my arms. "I apologize. But, I had to stay with Valinna here."

I turned my eyes for the first time onto the pretty blonde, blue-eyed Nord soldier. Her big, innocent eyes were holding back tears. "What happened?" I knelt down in front of her. Her bottom lip was quivering. She was a stunning girl. She was probably my age, but her face was flawless; pale with a pink blush on her cheeks. She looked like a girl who could have any man she wanted. That pouty way she held her full lips could bring any man to do her bidding.

I glanced at Calder. He was mesmerized by her beauty and childlike innocence. I wished that my own face was scar-free. The newly formed scab on my forehead was fairly straight. Ulfric did an amazing job stitching me up. I couldn't get that creeping feeling away from me that I needed to see him. My cheeks flushed from the thought. I would kill for Ulfric to look at me the way that Calder looked at Valinna. I bit my lip. Did that thought seriously enter my mind?

The girl met my eyes. "My shoulder popped out, when I tried to swing a battle-axe. Not my choice weapon, I'm afraid." She whispered, clearly trying to make light of her situation.

"Where's the healer?" I asked, visually examining her shoulder.

Calder spoke up. "The healer is looking after the man with the missing eye."

"That's Hjorn. You know," I stared at her shoulder, "I could fix that for you," I stated.

"Who are you?" She asked, confused.

"She's the Dragonborn," Calder replied for me.

"You…" She opened her eyes in awe. "I've been waiting to meet you for so long. I'm honoured."

I smiled. "Believe me, I'm nothing special. Call me Skadi, please. Either way, I have some experience with this. I can pop your shoulder back in easily. It must be paining you."

She bit her lip. "Okay."

"Calder, can you help me?" I asked.

"Of course milady."

"Hold her in place please," I said, and he gripped her as securely as possible.

"Why does he call you milady?" Valinna asked, fighting back tears.

"He's my housecarl, and he's refused to call me anything else," I smiled at him. "Calder, would you give her some leather to bite on?"

He nodded, temporarily releasing his grip on her so he could rummage through his bag. He placed a rough piece of leather between the shaking girl's teeth. "It's so you don't bite off your tongue," he explained.

Her eyes widened. "This will be quick," I said to her. "Keep her still please." I gripped her hand. In one fluid movement, I pushed up on her arm and twisted her bone in place. She screamed so loud, I thought my ear would burst.

When she stopped screaming, she burst into tears from the shock. I told her to move her shoulder when she was ready, and she nodded meekly. "Calder, why don't you stay with her for a while?" I whispered.

Calder nodded, and I got up and left the tent.

Ralof was waiting for me outside. "Was that you who made that girl scream?"

"The girl couldn't wait for a healer. It was the only thing I could do." I huffed.

"Your friend Hjorn has an incredible eye-patch." He commented with a grin.

I laughed. "He's going to be okay."

"Listen, we're going to Falkreath to celebrate our victory before we move camps. Please join us."

"Of course Ralof. I'd love to." I agreed.

"Great! We'll go back to our camp to pack, okay?"

"Okay. Let's go," I smiled, keeping my pace up with him.