AN: I am beyond sorry for taking so long...hopefully this longer chapter will kind of make up for it. I actually was considering not finishing this story but I decided that it had to be done, and it will be finished before my summer break. School has been really crazy, but I'll try my best to be better about updating. Read, review, and of course enjoy.
And to qiana- I really appreciate your review, I tried my best to make this story as accurate as possible and still something worth reading. I know the pace of her recovering is fast...that's something I've been battling with. I'm trying to portray Draco as one of the only people with whom physical contact isn't too hard. She does really have feelings for him. But also I want there to be a shift in their personalities soon. She'll get stronger and he'll end up in trouble. I feel like this chapter is a step in that direction. Aw well, hope you enjoy. =)
How far we've gone, how far we're going. It's the here and the now and the love for the sound of the moments that keep us moving...Tomorrow she's gone, and if not, someday, somehow. Are these hands a waste? Well this side of mortality is scaring me to death. Don't think about it at all, just keep your head low...Soldier on, soldier on. Keep your heart close to the ground. -Soldier On
Time passed, even when it seemed as if it never would again. Hermione spent a few days alone with Draco at his family's house in Wales and it was as if some of the massive weight that sat on her shoulders was lifted. He respected her space and she was able to finally find some peace. Not much had changed between them since the day when he had pressed his lips to hers, but it was enough for some of the tension to finally have been resolved. For Draco, he knew he was beyond reconciliation. Soon he would be breaking his father out of Azkaban but he was now bound to protect this girl with every fiber of his being. But he was used to being torn, that had always been his life. And waking up beside her never helped.
Now as Monday morning came, Draco and Hermione awoke early and Apparated back outside of Hogwarts. For a moment she simply stood and stared up at the castle and all at once the events of last week flooded back into her mind, and she found it hard to breathe. But Draco saw the fear growing in her gaze and he took her hand, squeezing it gently, "You're stronger than this Granger. You need to get back into your life sooner or later." Grey met brown and she nodded slightly.
"I know….I've faced the most evil wizard in the world and I can't even handle this…Pathetic, I know." Silent tears fell down her cheeks but before she could wipe them away herself, his thumbs came up to brush them away, his face the perfect mask as always.
"Not pathetic…human. But you can't keep hiding forever." She didn't need to respond, they both knew he was right. Taking a deep breath she led him forward towards the castle. At the first sight of another person, Draco's hand dropped hers, and Hermione did her best to act as if she didn't mind. But the worst part was that she did, even though she agreed their relationship had to stay a secret. Silently they walked back to their Common Room and as the portrait swung open Hermione's eyes went to the table and saw all of her books and school supplies neatly laid out, "I had the house elves move all of your things into my room. I'll sleep on the couch if necessary." Neither of them wanted to say aloud that they couldn't bring themselves to go back into that room, if not yet, maybe not ever. Hermione walked over to the couch where her robes had been laid out and slipped them on over her clothes.
"I hope you were at least civil towards them…" She mumbled this under her breath, trying to grasp some piece of normalcy and Draco couldn't help but smile slightly at the comment. While Hermione adjusted her Prefect's badge, he went quickly upstairs to gather his things before meeting her back in the Common Room. Her eyes locked to the door, knowing that it was indeed time for her to re-enter the world.
"You can do this Granger…" At the sound of his voice Hermione turned to meet his intense gaze, "Whatever would Hogwarts be without a student like you? Who would I compete with?" He stepped closer to her, a small smile on his lips as he did.
"I suppose I can't let you gain the upper hand academically now can I?" She tried to smile but it was somewhat forced. Soon she'd be stepping back out and once more she would have to pretend that she was perfectly fine. But could she do that again if she didn't believe it herself? Draco saw this doubt and his hand came up to lift her chin, their eyes locking once more.
"Anyone gives you shit, you come to me alright?"
"I will." Hermione responded truthfully, knowing he would watch out for her even if they would be pretending to hate each other. At these words he leaned in slowly and lightly pressed his lips to hers. He only lingered a moment before tucking a curl behind her ear and moving to open the door for her. She had to catch her breath for a moment, not to compose herself, but rather recover from the sudden touch of his lips, brief as it was. And with that they both exited the Common Room, taking off in different directions to head to their first class as not to raise suspicion, but Draco's eyes lingered on her as she vanished around the corner.
"She doesn't look very sick…"
"I heard she wasn't even sick at all….she had some sort of meltdown and just skipped class for a week…"
"Draco Malfoy hasn't been around either…maybe he did something to her?" Voices, all encircling her as she headed down to the third floor, everyone was gathering in the halls to walk for class. She didn't want to listen but it seemed as if her ears couldn't help but hear them talking about her. She took deep breaths and hoped she wouldn't see any of her friends just yet, she still needed a bit of practice at composure. She wanted to yell at everyone who said something but she remained the perfect face of calm, Draco had taught her well.
"Well I heard Ron Weasley got her pregnant…" And those simple words were too much. A flood of memory engulfed her, she could've sat down right in the hall and never gotten up again. But right at that moment someone lightly shoved into her from behind. She turned quickly to see who could've been so rude as not to apologize and she met a pair of gray eyes. Eyes that made her heartbeat faster.
"Can't you even walk two feet without blundering into someone Granger?" His voice was sharp but the look in his eyes betrayed him entirely. The old Hermione would have thought he hated her again, or maybe was too ashamed to even pretend they were slightly friends. But she knew what he was doing. He was helping her again, he was giving her some strength back.
"Me blunder into someone? It's you who refuses to leave me alone Malfoy…maybe if you would simply apologize we could both get on with our lives and go to class?" Oh she had become so good at pretending. And by now everyone was watching the Head Boy and Girl go at it for the millionth time. Suspicion for what had really happened to her died down slightly, this was all much more interesting and still normal to make anyone think otherwise.
"Malfoy's don't apologize to know-it-all Muggleborns." He wouldn't call her a Mudblood, not again. Even in this little game they were now playing with everyone he wouldn't dare.
"Well then why would I apologize to an annoying blonde ferret!" She knew he wouldn't like being called a 'ferret' but she just let it out anyway, "You can't even muster some compassionate after I was sick for a week? And the rest of you can all move along, you have classes to attend I'm sure!" At these words everyone began to whisper again but all began to continue walking to class. Draco stepped closer and his hand brushed hers as if saying he was sorry and she nodded to return it. They knew it wasn't a real fight, it was for show, and it only proved how far they had come. Hermione smiled slightly at him before slipping into her class, already feeling better. Draco however looked over back down the hallway just in time to watch Pansy Parkinson exit an open classroom, a smirk on her lips. A few seconds later Ron Weasley exited, his eyes glancing around for a second before disappearing in the other direction. Draco followed quickly after Pansy, anger building in him as he remembered the night when Hermione had heard them together in a broom closet. He was getting to the bottom of this, once and for all.
"Parkinson!" Draco called after her and Pansy turned, a small smile on her lips as she did. Gracefully she crossed her arms and walked over to him.
"Good to see you're still among the living Draco, all us Slytherins were beginning to worry."
"I'm not in the mood for your little quips this morning…but I would like to know why you've been fucking Weasley in every empty room in this whole school." The statement made her smile vanish, but Pansy was not going to let him see her weakness. She was a Pureblood Slytherin after all, and she knew that she could never be weak.
"I could ask the same about you and Granger." There was the nerve, the worst retort she could throw. She was good at reading these things, she always had been, and Draco silently cursed their friendship in that moment.
"I know you've been fooling around with him…."
"And why exactly do you suddenly seem to care who I'm 'fooling' around with? You haven't seemed to acknowledge any type of relationship between us in over a year."
"That's because there is none," His words were icy but she had built up defenses against the pain he could dish out years ago. He regretted following her now because they both wanted answers neither one were willing to give, "I just wasn't aware you had a taste for blood traitors now, especially Gryffindors."
"Says the Pureblood who keeps himself locked up with the Gryffindor Mudblood." Draco wanted to make her eat the words she said but he had to be careful, he knew his temper often got the best of him but it was now more than ever he had to keep it in check. Pansy could sense him holding back, but she couldn't blame them. Admitting what they were both trying to hide was considered blasphemous in the eyes of their families.
"All I'm saying is you need to be more careful…and I didn't know you were this cruel Pans…stringing the poor weasel along just until you get bored. You know he would never think otherwise." A flash in Pansy's eyes at his words made him examine her closer, interested in what she would try and smartly say back now.
"We were friends once Draco, do you remember that?" The look in her eyes softened as she spoke, even her tone wasn't as sharp. But the question still surprised him.
"Of course I do…"
"The Dark Lord was always there but he wasn't really there…we were only children," She turned then and took a few steps away from him before turning back, a slight pained look in her eyes, "There was this great purpose we were supposed to fulfill but we never knew it would actually happen…But then suddenly one day you stopped smiling…He came back to power, my father joined back up, Hogwarts wasn't safe….and then Crabbe was killed. When did we all get so lost Draco?" Her eyes bore into his but he couldn't answer.
"I don't know…"
"We may have been rotten little gits but at least we were happy. We were all friends. But we chose the wrong side…even though we had no choice." Pansy reached out to brush her fingertips against his cheek. He closed his eyes at the touch, he regretted this. He hated being reminded of all the wrong choices he made, the mistakes, because he would only be making them again, "Can we be friends again Draco? Can I trust you again?"
"You can Pansy." He said the words softly, and he didn't expect her to believe him, after all he was awful to her every chance he got. But something truthful in his eyes must have given him away because she let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm not simply shagging him….not anymore," Pansy's voice was soft, and her eyes were dry, she would never cry so easily. But this was clearly tearing her up inside and he could understand completely, "I think I'm falling in love with Weasley."
"Always like to have things complicated don't you?" Draco crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly to meet her eyes, a small, ghost of a smile on his lips, "You'll have to come clean to him sometime. But it's better now than six months ago." Pansy looked into his eyes and a small smile crossed her lips as well.
"Could you thank Granger for me next time you see her?"
"What for?" Draco asked curiously, his brows furrowing slightly.
"For bringing you back to life." And with that Pansy turned and walked quickly down the hallway, leaving Draco to think on their conversation. She had needed to let her secret out, to tell a friend, and he was it. But he still held so many inside of himself. And he knew that he would be fulfilling a promise very soon. His eyes shut for a moment and a voice called out to him suddenly, clear as day…The time has come my son. This weekend…I will be waiting….Draco's eyes opened and he knew it was truth. His father had called. And it really was time. There could be no more looking back. Strong as he may be, the one most powerful weakness still held…the love a son has for his father.
Surprisingly, Hermione found that the day flew by. It felt better to finally be back in a classroom and learning. For the last few months she had focused so intently on staying trapped in her own dark memories and the last few weeks had been especially hard. But moving on was important, healing even if it was only a little, and Draco being there helped. In every class they had together he was either beside her or near, his eyes always finding a moment to catch hers. She wasn't looking forward to lunch but she knew she had to go…and when she entered the Great Hall there were plenty of eyes on her. She took a deep breath as someone's hand lightly touched the small of her back. She turned her head slightly to watch as Draco moved from behind her to sit at the Slytherin table. With that little boost of encouragement, Hermione went over to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Ginny.
"Merlin it's good to see you Hermione!" Ginny said with a grin as her eyes glanced over at Harry who sat across from them. Ron was nowhere in sight and Hermione was silently grateful for that.
"It's good to see you as well Ginny…and Harry I…" Hermione began to form some sort of apology for being so short with Harry last time they spoke but her interrupted her.
"No need to apologize Hermione, I was a git for getting on your case. I'm just glad to see you're ok. We tried to go see you last week but we couldn't get in your Common Room. You sure you're alright?" His emerald eyes were filled with concern as he asked and Hermione almost couldn't look at him.
"I will be. It's complicated…I'll explain everything some other time, I promise," At her words both Ginny and Harry exchanged curious looks, both had a feeling that the story of her illness wasn't all that was going on, but Hermione quickly changed the subject, "Why isn't Ron with you?"
"Now there's a good question. He barely eats with us anymore. And if he does he'll come here, stuff his face, and disappear again. I never thought I'd see the day when my brother would deny himself food. We…well we sort of thought he might be with you?" Ginny asked the last part cautiously, unsure if that could really be the case or she was simply reopening freshly closed wounds.
"No…I haven't seen him. But I haven't exactly been seeking him out either." As she said this, Harry offered her a small, reassuring smile.
"I keep asking him what's going on when we're about to go to bed but he won't say anything. He'll get all red and avoid the question….then he usually starts going on about Quidditch. But…" Harry began to say, but a warning glare from Ginny stopped him.
"But…what exactly?"
"Well….and this could be bullocks, but I've been watching him on the map…and he's been spending loads of time with Pansy Parkinson. I asked him about that too and he says they're partners on some project or something." As Harry said this, Hermione knew where Ron had been all those times, and she knew that they both knew the truth as well. Except they didn't want to admit it. And if Harry had been keeping an eye on Ron then he was inevitably keeping an eye on her…and she was sure he knew how close she'd been with Draco as well.
"I'm sure he'll come around. Give it some time Harry. Besides, he's awful at keeping things from you." Hermione smiled slightly at her friend, only then realizing that she had been slightly selfish in the last few months with her own distance. Yes she had been to hell and back, but her friends had been lost as well…She could see the ghost of that final battle still lingering in Harry's eyes, and the memory of Fred within Ginny's. Maybe she needed them closer than she thought.
"Why do you have to go?" Hermione's voice called to Draco as he straightened his tie in the bathroom mirror. The week had flown by for both of them. Hermione was feeling better…she had started eating more and she was trying to talk with Harry and Ginny more often. Also school work helped keep her mind on other things. Draco however wished the week never had to end. And of course it was over faster than he could ever have imagined. Friday night was here…and he would have to go and get his father.
"Some business at the Manor. I'm selling a few artifacts and dealing with some legal matters…boring really. Plus it'll be good if you try and stay here. I won't be gone long." As he said this he walked back into the Common Room, his face the perfect mask of calm as always. He forced a small smile on his lips. Him, the Death Eater, the traitor. This girl trusted him with her life and he was about to break his father out of Azkaban. He even had a flask of Polyjuice potion sitting in his pocket.
"Alright, alright. I won't bug you…" Hermione smiled slightly and walked slowly over to him. He remained still, statuesque, as she reached out a hand to cup his cheek, "But I'll miss you." For some reason, Draco found these words terrifying. Hermione Granger would miss him. She even felt the power of these words as her face flushed scarlet. He moved away from her hand, unable to even meet her eyes as the deed he was about to do consumed him.
"I'll see you later Granger." And with that Draco turned from her, not even a chaste kiss to say farewell, and left the Common Room. Hermione simply stood there and watched him leave, unsure about what to think of it all.
Draco knew that time was of the essence now, and what needed to be done had to happen now. He'd been to Azkaban a few times in the past when his father had first been imprisoned, and from what he remembered, he knew this was no easy task. He was unsure how many wizards would be working in the front at the visitor's station, but hopefully not many. He needed to keep his wand and he hoped a bribe would do it. At the edge of Hogsmeade, Draco Disapparated from the grounds of Hogwarts and seconds later appeared at the dismal, black-stone fortress that was Azkaban. Shivers ran through him as he gazed upon it, the place of nightmares. A place where he might soon be if this didn't work. His thoughts went to Hermione, the only person alive who he truly cared about and who shared those feelings in return. What would she say if he disappeared and she read the Prophet days later only to find out what he had done? No…he had to succeed. Malfoy's could never fail. He had done that enough. At the gates he was allowed in and went straight inside, not daring meet anyone's eyes directly or be in the path of a Dementor. His face was stoic.
"Visiting?" The older wizard at the front desk asked him as he walked in. A barred door lay behind him, leading to the prisoners. Draco felt cold, empty…he knew this place could drain you, but he kept his composure.
"Yes I'd like to see Lucius Malfoy." At the sound of the name, the wizard looked into Draco's eyes curiously and nodded slightly as he realized who he was dealing with.
"He hasn't had visitor's in some time…why the sudden interest?" The wizard asked this in an almost dangerous tone, Draco knew what precautions they had to take. But he had come up with enough responses to please whatever questions they may ask.
"I've been assigned to work with Hermione Granger in helping the Ministry gather information in catching the liberated Death Eaters. They require information from my father. And he won't simply give such information to anyone. I'm no longer loyal to those causes," Draco lifted his sleeve to show the burnt, scarred remains of what he had done to his Dark Mark. He didn't want to tell this man everything, normally he would rudely reply, but this was no time for insults, "I believe that is evidence enough."
"I still need to confiscate your wand until the visit is concluded Mr. Malfoy." The man's eyes had widened at seeing the Mark, but his response was the last thing Draco wanted.
"You really expect me to face that man defenseless? I think you gravely underestimate him."
"You'll have a wizard guard as an escort….but I'll need your wand." The wizard held out his hand and Draco swore internally. Nothing could ever be simple could it? Instead of pulling out a wand from his jacket pocket, he pulled out a check book. He quickly wrote out a check for 5,000 galleons with the quill sitting on the man's desk. His eyes went to the check and they instantly widened.
"This is hardly my best offer…all you need to do is give me your name, take this check, and allow me to see my father with my wand. I'll also make sure you are rightly compensated by the Ministry for doing such an impeccable job as an Azkaban guard." Draco spoke fluidly, persuasively, another skill he had learned to master. The man simply looked at him for a moment before speaking again.
"Boris…Boris Miggens," Draco smiled slightly as he said his name and wrote it elegantly on the check as he then signed his name and handed it over, "Go through the door and a guard will take you down." The wizard quickly shoved the check into his robes pocket and waved his wand as the bars disappeared.
"Many thanks," Draco muttered before walking through the doorway and down the cold hallway to where a guard stood waiting, "Lucius Malfoy." He spoke his father's name and didn't dare say anymore to the man leading him further into the dark prison. He knew what this man's fate would be, and he couldn't help but feel remorse. They finally stopped in front of cell and Draco knew his father waited inside. The guard unlocked the first stone door and they both stepped inside. Draco knew this place…from his darkest dreams. And just like then his father sat in the shadows on his bed, the small window barely letting light shine in.
"Father…." Draco's voice called out and the figure sitting stood up, his white hair longer than ever, and came up to the bars. His grey eyes met their twin in a silent conversation.
"It has been quite a long time my son…" Lucius spoke directly and the Guard watched on from the corner. Now….Lucius's voice hissed in Draco's head and he nodded slightly. With that Draco reached up to slide his wand from inside his jacket, his back to the guard, and swiftly turned around to point it at the man. He didn't even wait a moment, there was no room for error.
"Stupefy!" Draco called out and the man fell. Quickly then Draco grabbed his wand and handed it through the bars to his father. Lucius said a spell which magically unlocked the barred door.
"The potion, where is the potion!" Lucius said sharply and Draco pulled the flask of Polyjuice Potion from his pocket and handed it to him. He wasn't sure what he should do, so he summoned a glass and gave it to his father to pour half the potion in. Lucius took a piece of hair from him and the guard and put one into the glass and one into the flask as Draco dragged the man into his father's cell, "You bribed the wizard at the front desk, correct? He knows you have come to see me?"
"Yes father…" Draco said back obediently as Lucius handed him the glass. He put it to the lips of the unconscious man and forced it down his throat. He was able to choke it down but he would be waking up soon, especially now as his body began to change.
"I will take care of that," Lucius said as he drank down the contents of the flask and began to change and shift into the form of the guard who had now completely changed into a perfect copy of Lucius Malfoy. He had begun to stir as Draco stepped out of the cell and shut the door behind him, locking it shut and then making the glass disappear.
"What…what's going…" He began to say in a somewhat groggy state, but Lucius didn't even allow him to finish.
"Confundus!" He growled as he gripped Draco's arm and they shut the stone door behind them. Lucius looked back in through a small rectangular window and saw the utterly confused look in the man's eyes….the spell had worked. And it would most likely remain permanent, "We need to leave now." And with those words, Draco lead his father back out through the maze of hallways, avoiding anyone they saw. Once they reached the front desk where Boris sat, Draco nodded to him, he opened the bars once again and Draco went to walk out the door.
"Hullo James, how's…" Boris began to say but Draco didn't want to watch. He simply walked out into the night which had enveloped the land. He knew Boris's memory was being erased and the check he wrote being destroyed…and it didn't take long for his father to appear disguised at his side.
"Apparate, before they see…do it now," Lucius whispered harshly in Draco's ear as he glanced around. At his father's words Draco vanished from sight and appeared in the foyer of the Malfoy Manor. Only a minute or so passed before his father was there as well, "Accio wand," With those words, Lucius's own wand flew from wherever it had been hidden in the house and back into his hands. Immediately he began to replace all the charms on the Manor to protect it. Finally he pulled up his left sleeve, pointed his wand at the Dark Mark, and the snake began to move. Agony erupted across Draco's forearm but he simply clenched his fist, trying not to shake as blood began to drip down to his knuckles, "Inform the house elves I'll be in need of their services. I'll need to clean up before our guests begin to arrive. Also make sure the rooms are ready."
"I'll tell them father." A drop of blood hit the marble floor and this was not unnoticed by Lucius who swiftly grabbed Draco firmly by the forearm, he fought everything not to cry out in pain. Lucius's steely eyes were on him with fury in their depths.
"This is an embarrassment to our cause. Clean this up before any of the other's see." He released Draco's arm and the blood had begun to soak through. He needed to bandage it, and quickly. Lucius disappeared upstairs to clean up his appearance. And Draco went to his own room for a moment's peace before everything would go up in flames.
Draco found himself sitting once more at his dining room table, dark, familiar faces surrounding it. The chair at the head was left empty, a symbolic gesture for the man who had last inhabited it. He sat beside his father, a handful of other people with them. Rookwood. Yaxley. Rowle. Rastaban Lestrange. Carrow. Selwynn. Avery. All had escaped capture and vanished into the world. But now they had been summoned. They too wanted redemption. They wanted revenge on who had taken away their lives.
"Welcome once more to my home brothers…you must know why I have gathered you all here. Now, out of Azkaban, we can finally destroy those who have wronged us….who have taken away those we held so very dear to us and our bloodline. Those who took away our Lord," Lucius glanced around the table as he spoke, meeting the eyes of everyone, "It is time we took revenge on Harry Potter," At these words cheers and growls of agreement were heard around the table, "And Draco will bring him and his friends right to us." Lucius grabbed Draco's shoulder and he found himself having trouble breathing.
"Him? He couldn't even kill Dumbledore…" It was Yaxley who spoke and Lucius shot him a dangerous glare.
"That kind of error will not happen again. The Ministry allowed him to return to school. He can take one of Potter's friends and lead them right into the Forest where we will be waiting to finally take the life of the Boy Who Lived," Lucius spat the name and the Death Eaters all laughed, "He will be none the wiser," Draco was trying his best not to think of Hermione…especially not to think that the man who raped her may in fact be sitting at this table with him. He wish he knew…he wished he could just be brave for once in his life and face whoever did it. She wouldn't have to be scared anymore. And maybe then he could save her from all of this that was being planned. As his thoughts became consumed by her, he suddenly found all eyes on him, "Do you have feelings for the Mudblood filth?" Anger was rising behind his father's eyes. Draco had slipped with his thoughts just enough to let his father glimpse inside, and she was always there now. He reblocked his mind, and quickly.
"No…of course not. She disgusts me."
"Then you will have no problem taking her life." And with those words Draco felt his stomach drop. He wanted to disappear then, he wanted to run. He couldn't though, not now, he had brought this on himself. And with his thoughts paralyzed, he forced a dark grin to cross his lips.
"Of course not father."
As Sunday night rolled around, Hermione found herself thinking about Draco. She had gone to dinner and once more observed that neither Ron nor Pansy was present. Maybe she was helping him move on…either way she couldn't be mad at him, she didn't have the right. She made a mental note to mention it to Draco when he returned as she walked back from dinner. When she entered the Common Room however, she saw Draco sitting by the fire, his eyes dark, his face blank as he stared into the depths. But his mind was in panic right now. He knew after the events of this weekend what had to be done. He would have to re-break Hermione Granger.
"Hey, have a good weekend?" She asked innocently as she walked over to sit beside him. When she sat down he stood up and turned away from her. He didn't want this to be hard, but it was fate that it had to be. He should've stopped all of this when he had the chance. Now he would have to watch her die, one way or another, and it would be so much harder, "Are you alright?" She stood up again and walked over to him, lightly placing her hand on his shoulder. She was worried…she could tell when something was off with him, reading him had become one of her hobbies.
"Whatever this is, it ends here." His voice was dark, distant, a hint of anger in the depths. He couldn't even bare to look at her. But it wanted it to be cruel enough to keep her away. Her hand moved back and he wanted to run again. Finally he looked at her once he knew the indifference and sincerity had entered his gaze.
"You can't be serious…what happened this weekend?" Hermione knew the answers lie in whatever happened to him at the Manor. He couldn't just say that to her without reason…he may have been that heartless once, but he wasn't now. He couldn't be, not after everything.
"Find somewhere else to sleep. And stay the fuck away from me." With these words Draco turned away from her and walked back upstairs to his room, slamming the door shut.
"Draco!" Hermione called his name but he didn't listen. She knocked on his door but he didn't answer. Anything she did he wouldn't talk to her, she couldn't get to him. And without warning her only salvation had been stripped from her. She felt small, vulnerable, like she was lying on that bathroom floor again. And so she let the tears fall from her eyes and she curled up on the floor in front of the fire. What she didn't know was that he lay in front of the fire in his room, his own eyes filled with tears he refused to let fall. He knew he had to avoid her, he could never be near her….he couldn't save her. In the end he would only lose her and he wanted to save them both from more pain.
As the days passed, Hermione felt empty. She barely ever saw Draco. The day after his outburst, she found all of her things put in the Common Room. Even in classes he made sure to never sit near her, he wouldn't even look at her. And night after night she slept on the floor, it felt better than pretending she wanted to be comfortable. She wanted him…even a glance would have given her some hope. And now, nearing the end of her rope, she knew she needed to confide in someone and tell them everything. Harry was out of the question…she wasn't ready for another male knowing her situation, no matter how close they were. Ron would never do…and so she went to her closest girl friend, with whom she had been through nearly everything with. She met up with Ginny Weasley in an old classroom on the 5th floor, and she found herself unable to stop shaking.
"You seemed better at lunch last week…what happened between then and now Hermione?" Ginny asked as Hermione entered and she shut and locked the door. She took a deep breath as she sat across from her friend.
"I'm going to tell you everything, but right now I need you to just listen. Ok Gin?" Ginny nodded at Hermione's request and slowly she began to tell the story that only Draco knew. The story of her on the bathroom floor, him saving her, about Ron, about her pregnancy and loss of it. Everything. Even about her and Draco's odd relationship. Ginny was always strong but tears still filled her eyes. Hermione forced herself to tell it all, and it helped in a way…but it was still impossibly hard, "And now he won't even look at me…I don't know what happened…but I need him Ginny. I can't do this without him." And there it was, all her truths said aloud. The red-head reached out and took Hermione's hand, there was so much she wanted to say but couldn't, and Hermione understood. Ginny now knew why Hermione had acted so strange…everything fit. Shocked as she was she knew one thing was definite, Draco would be her only salvation. And so Ginny spoke the words that needed to be said.
"Then you need to drag out the good inside of Draco Malfoy." And Hermione would find a way, she had to. They couldn't let themselves slip into darkness again.
He couldn't bare it. Not a single moment of it. There she was, always there, always stealing glances at him. But she was so very far away. Such a deep sadness resided in her eyes that it could've swallowed him whole. She would fade back into ruin and then he would watch the light vanish again from her eyes. Eyes that he had brought back to life. And every night he snuck downstairs to watch her sleep on the floor by the fire, just like he did in his room. He hated this. He hated himself for doing this to her. One night, nearly a week and a half after banishing her from his life, he found her asleep again. Tears stained her cheeks and he felt like a monster. What could he do? Was he being selfish or smart? He didn't know…he wanted this pain to end. He wanted to protect her again, he had promised hadn't he? And with all these thoughts in his head, he picked her up into his arms and began to head towards his room.
Hermione's amber eyes opened suddenly at the feeling of being carried. She looked up at the blank face of Draco Malfoy carrying her up the stairs and into his room. Her brows furrowed slightly, was she dreaming? The room was dark but she could tell things were in a state of chaos, and his eyes were fighting the emotion threatening to spill over into them. She wanted to touch him, do something, but she was worried…she didn't know what this all meant. He laid her down on his bed and moved over her for a moment, their eyes meeting. His were dark, empty…but hers were wide and somewhat confused. Her heartbeat could have consumed them both.
"This is nothing. You mean nothing to me." At these words he stared at her for a moment longer before slipping into bed beside her, covering them with the blanket as he did. She moved on her side and he moved in against her, wrapping an arm around her and burying his face in her curls. Hermione's eyes shut in relief, but there was still anger and confusion in her chest at everything, what did this all mean?
"Have you convinced yourself of that yet?" She spoke almost bitterly but he didn't let go. And for that she was thankful. She wanted to drown in his embrace and he hers. After a deafening silence they both found much needed sleep. Yet Draco was worried about what would happen come morning. And Hermione only hoped that she would able to find some answers in the light of a new day. But for now they slept, finding much needed condolence in each other's arms.
AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter...I like it, but I don't know...things are getting pretty intense now though I'd say. And it doesn't stop here. Hope you all enjoyed, and once again, sorry for disappearing.