-It's Lucy in a Nutshell!-
Chapter 1 – Wendy and Lucy To Sabertooth
A/N. *sniff sniff* I'm so happy! Plus I'm sniffing for allergies... boo :( I probably went to Crocus XD. Nah, I just get really bad allergies ;_; The reason why I'm happy? My new story got a few reviews! *celebrates party by myself and the actors* Eheheh... *nervous laugh* I'm also very sad! WHYYY GRAYY! NEW MANGA UPDATE! WHY?! WHY DID GRAY DIE?! (Spoiler)
Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail~!
- Wendy and Lucy Go To Sabertooth Nutshell!-
Normal POV
THIS time, the scene starts from when Lucy trips and falls in a river, drowning and eventually dying. The end.
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Pffft you know better than that! It's obviously going to start from when Lucy bawls and then trips and falls into the river and dies. Nah, just kidding. She's going to be in the guild, though.
Lucy was searching for a job to do on the job board thingy-ma-jiggy. Everybody except for her few friends that including Wendy, Gajeel, Juvia, Gray, and Master were celebrating for the 987,654,321th time that Lisanna came back from Edolas. How did they party that many times? Easy, they celebrate even when Lisanna is going on a job and experiences tons of should-be-dead situations. When she was in her thoughts, she suddenly heard some gossiping about her from some unimportant guild members.
"Hey, did you hear about the new game that released out in this story?"
"Yeah yeah! I heard that one of the main characters is actually in this guild!"
"Really?! Which one?"
"It's Luigi if you change the 'cy' from Lucy to 'igi', making Luigi!"
"*GASP*! I didn't know that!"
"I know right!"
Lucy sighed as Wendy came up to her. "What's wrong, Lucey-san? I think the only thing that happened is that everyone is practically ignoring you and that they totally hate you but love Luigi and that Natsu ditched you for Lisanna, and don't forget that Team Natsu also kicked you out brutally, so I dun think dat there's anything wrong," Wendy shrugged.
"ORLLY?" Lucy couldn't help but make that sarcastic remark. (A/N. If you don't know what that says, it says "oh really")
"Yup!"
Lucy face palmed. "Don't do that, it's bad for your hand."
Lucy did a face desk. "Don't do that, you'll damage the desk."
Lucy did a face floor. "You'll dirty the floor!"
This time, Lucy just grabbed a brick and hit her head with it. No, she did not get any fatal injuries besides having a bleeding head that squirts out like a fountain that should fatally wound her but doesn't...yet.
I, the director, whispered something to the camera man. "Psssst. Grab another brick and throw it at Lucy's actor. I just don't like how she does Lucy's script. Got that?"
The camera man looked at me with bewilderment. "B-But, Kitsune-san, we don't have-"
"I have a bag of them right here," I held up a bag – somehow – full of bricks inside. He sweat dropped, grabbed one, and threw it at Lucy's actor.
"DAFUQ?!" She yelled before it hit her on the head, making her head squirt out more blood like a fountain.
"Anybody wants a milkshake?" I called out. All the actors nodded, so I grabbed a cup and filled it from the bloody 'fountain', poured some milk in it, and put it in the blender. I threw it at some random actor afterwards. "Camera man, go get the first actor of Lucy and resurrect her. She was a good actor," He sighed, and did as he was told. Since I'm lazy, let's steal some of their magic and timeskip to the real story.
- Fake Time skip-
Let's go back before Lucy face palmed.
Lucy sighed. "Ya, they ignore me so much. I wish like they could do something about it." Apparently, her wish worked.
"OI LUIGI! We like, totally, want you out of the guild for like no apparent reason and because we're such good family that we don't want non-family members in here even though you're in the guild. And coz like we don't want people to crowd Fairy Tail asking for ur autograph." Natsu yelled across the guild.
"HEY! DON'T SPEAK TO MAI BESTY-ISH FRIEND LIKE DAT EVEN THO WE'RE JUST LIKE FRIENDS AND AREN'T VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER!" Wendy yelled.
"I DIDN'T SPEAK TO HER! I YELLED TO HER! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, DURRRR!"
"WELL 2 BAD! DUN YELL 2 HER LIKE DAT THEN!"
"OH BOO HOOOO! ASK GRAY BOUT THIS!" Natsu pointed to Gray, who was actually Gray Surge's actor that accidently went in the wrong story.
"Oh, err, I...I went in the wrong story. Sorry about that..." He nervously said and walked out of the scene, with everybody staring at him strangely. There was a mini awkward silence about that.
"Um,, err okay then. Let's start again. ASK GRAY BOUT THIS!" Natsu pointed to the real Gray, who was actually too busy eating a burger, because which ice mage in their right mind would eat fire? Perhaps Natsu who magically gained Gray's magic.
"Hoh? (Huh?)" Gray turned around, looking at them. "Wa yoo hay? (What'd you say?)" He asked, mouth full of food.
"Swallow it, dumb ass!" Lucy put her hand on top of his head, the other on his jaw, and pushed down/up hard, making him chew and eventually swallow.
"What'd you say?" He asked, no food in his mouth now.
"Pink or salmon haired guy want ta say something to ya," Lucy jerked her thumb towards said person.
"Ahem, Sir Gray, I ask on King Makarov's orders that I, Sir Natsu, is allowed to strictly yell at Lucy like that," Natsu magically had a knight's suit on with a medieval scroll, acting like he was in the time of the medieval.
"Eh, idk. Go ask Wendy. Pfft, let me eat now," Gray shrugged. Wendy sighed.
"THAT'S ET, LUCEY-SAN! WE'RE LEAVIN 4 KITTY TEETH!" Wendy yelled, dragging Lucy's hand to Makarov's office.
"Yea yea, come in. Don't say anything. Just let me read perverted magazines and all that like the pervert I am and go get a life or something." He waved his hand as if saying 'shoo'. They nodded and left the room, getting a knife and cutting off their tattoos. Nobody paid attention to the bloody trail on the floor. Well, except for Mira.
"GASP! WHOEVER LEFT THIS BLOOD DIRTY ON THE FLOOR MUST PAY! BLOOD SMOOTHIES R HARD TO MAKE, U KNOW!" Mira yelled.
Wendy and Lucy made their way to Sabertooth, where everyone was their complete opposites, like Edolas but even more OOC.
Minerva was all like, "OH EM GEE, THESE PURDY FLOWERS R LIKE, TOTALLY, SO CUUUUUUUUTE! I MEAN LIKE, SERIOUSLY! PURDYY FLOWERSSS GIVE ME ALLERGIES THO. MAYBE I SHOULD LIKE SHARE SOME WITH PIXIE TALE. YEA! AND THEN I CAN SHARE MY CHIBI-NESS WITH THEM!"
Sting was like, "I'm so weak and ugly. I look like a bee. I just wanna sulk in da corner,".
Rogue was all like, "BWAHAHHA IM THE KING OF THE WORLD, BITCHES! TAKE THAT, STUPID UNKNOWN RIVAL OF MINE! BWAHAHAHHA! I'M SO EPIC N LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME! I GOT ALL THESE FAN GURLS AT MAI FEET! BWAHAHAHHA!"
Rufus? He's not really important, so I'll do a mini nutshell in this nutshell for him. "I got amnesia. The end."
Orga was like, "Lol I'm like SOOOO skinny and like I suck at singing but I like totally wanna be on dat famous singing show but then my voice is too scratchy and I wanna have big abs and stuff and yeah."
Lucy and Wendy sweat dropped. "LISTEN UP PEEPLZ AND..." Lucy stared at Rufus, "...GERMS. WE GONNA JOIN DIS GUILD. KAY?!" Rufus then sulked with Sting.
"Oh baby, I bet ur another fan girl of mine! Don't worry, you're like the prettiest out of all of dem, so I'm gonna make you my girlfriend! This should be an honor coz I'm like only...THE KING OF THE WORLD, BITCHES! AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Rogue put an arm around her shoulders and laughed like a mad man.
"OKAY ROGUEY-KUN!" She hugged him so tightly he was unable to breathe for a while.
"*COUGH COUGH* DUN WORRY! THE AMAZING KING SHALL NEVER DIE! FOR AM I THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD'S KING, BWAHAHHAHAHAHAH!"
"I wish I had totally like a boyfriend!" Wendy whined.
"FEAR NO FURTHER! I SHALL BE UR BOYFRIEND!" A boy with short, messy silver hair that's obviously an OC and is around her age popped up.
"Shut up, OC. You're just a spoiler for Kitsune-san's other fanfic that I shall not mention, so go away loser." Wendy stuck her tongue out at him, who sighed and laid in wait for me to eventually write the chapter in my other fanfic that he'll pop up in.
"Halt! This is Sir Natsu, a knight of Fairy Tail! We have come for Lucy and Wendy, for treason that they are traitors of Fairy Tail! Immediate execution at once!" Natsu came in on a black knight.
"OH HELLLLLLLLL NO, BRO. THIS GURL'S MINE. U'LL NEVER HAVE HER COZ UR JUST JEALOUS OF MY AWESOMENESS ON HOW I MANAGED TO GET HER BEFORE U DID." Rogue stepped in front of Lucy, pointing a finger at Natsu.
"How dare you speak that way to me, a knight of Fairy Tail! You shall be put in the stocks!"
"Bitch please, I got this," Erza stepped in, shades on her face. She grabbed out a very dangerous-looking, pointy..
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purdy rose. "OH EM GEEEE! U GOT A PURDY ROSE NAMED CHERRY-CHAN! OH EM GEEEE!" Minerva came in chibi form, spreading her chibi-ness to Erza.
"IKR! AND U HAVE ONE NAMED GRAPEY! I WANNA SEE! LET'S TRADE PURDY FLOWERS LIKE POKEMON CARDS!" Erza bounced up and down with her.
"I CHALLENGE THEE TO A DUEL!" Natsu challenged, sword drawn.
"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" Rogue put on one of those 'challenge accepted' faces.
"HIIIIYAHHH!" Natsu jumped high in the air, sword above his head.
"BITCH PLEASE! SHADOWY BLACKY DRAGONY ROARY!" Rogue roared, immediately blasting and killing Natsu. Gray then appeared.
"LUCEY! I REALIZED MAI FEELINGS FOR U! I LAHV U! PLS BE MAI GURLFWEND!" Gray, this time, glomped her.
"OH NO YOU DI-IDN'T!" Rogue snapped his fingers in a zig-zag line in air, and chopped Gray's head off with Natsu's sword.
"OH HONEH! I KNEW U LUVED ME!" Lucy glomped him.
"I KNO RIGHT!" They went smoochy-smoochy and lived happy ever after. What about Wendy? She was forever alone. The end.
"OI! Kitsune-san! You know what? I'm going to quit this job as a camera man!" The camera man threw down his hat in emphasis.
"Oh hellll no. You know how much I pay you for this? 123,456 imaginary dollars. Other jobs don't pay you for this, you know!" I snapped my fingers like Rogue's actor.
"But you always make me do creepy things!"
"Fine, you can go on a little break for the next chapter."
"Hurray!"
I wanted to see what it'll be like if there was a replacement camera man! So, I added that at the end :P. Don't worry, he'll come back in Chapter 9! And sorry if it was short, I didn't want to do the GMG again e-e. Well then, say goodbye to Camera Man for now! I should really get a name for him, but then that'd be a little boring.
~Kitsune-Dark-Knight