SEVEN
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Mavis strode across the grass. The dark evening revealed nothing but stars as she aimed for the large troop transport a hundred feet ahead. The cold, crisp night tried its hardest to chill her two followers. Margaret wrapped her coat around herself more tightly, but the weather hardly registered with Jack.
"So what does this quantum lock-box look like?" he asked. "How big are we talking?"
"Fo-glo-mo-bo-to-do-so," Mavis said, her head tilted a little to carry her voice over her shoulder.
Jack's face turned worried. "And you will be able to lift it, right?"
"She can do it," Margaret said. "I'm more worried about how those Doctors will fit that shoelace thing in it."
"Do-lo-flo-glo-to-zo-so," Mavis remarked.
"Exactly," Jack beamed. "Now where is this quantum lock-box kept?"
Mavis stopped by the side of the transport, producing a grey box and pressing the grey button in its middle. The transport beeped and the side door slid open. Margaret and Jack halted by her shoulders and peered around her to see in. She turned and folded her arms. They stepped back.
Mavis pulled herself up into the vehicle and the door slid closed behind her. Various bumps and bangs from inside entertained Margaret and Jack until eventually the door slid open once again. Mavis dropped the foot to the ground with a large grey box that appeared big enough to hold a quality pair of Doctor Martin's boots on her left shoulder, and a cloth bag hanging from her other index finger.
"That's it?" Margaret asked.
"Looks heavy," Jack remarked, watching Mavis press the button on her remote to lock the transport again. She gestured to the way they had come. They began to walk back.
.
.
The Rani pushed at levers and set them straight again, rocking globes around and pressing buttons. He looked back at the small communicator screen propped up on the Time Rotor. "Right, Master. You're clear."
"Sure? I don't want to materialise in the middle of a hat rack," she snapped.
He looked around the Time Motor, checking clearances and space. "Nope. You're clear."
"Then stand by."
The communicator went black. The Rani folded his arms, wandering down the ramp to wait by the doors. He leant on the fake wood, forcing himself to suppress the resentment that had started to build as soon as the Master's borrowed face had appeared on the communicator screen.
A shimmering of air by the Time Rotor, and a low buzzing hum, arrested his attention. He leant harder against the wood, determined not to look on edge as the image of a woman began to form in the wibbly-wobbly cloud of steam-like obfuscation by the control centre. The image hardened and then suddenly, there she was. The steam wisped upward and dissipated. The woman looked around her in delight before checking her black trousers and cream blouse were in place. She sniffed and raised her head, tossing her dark red hair over her shoulder.
"Excellent," she said, before she caught sight of the Rani leaning on the door. "Now then, my dear." She twirled around, showing herself off. "See? I told you I'd take good care of you. Or rather, your body. We'll swap back very soon, don't worry about that."
"Yeah - when you said 'come do experiments on the Doctor' I didn't know you meant 'have your body held to ransom till you've done exactly what I want of you'," the Rani snapped.
"Get over it," the Master said. "It's just an insurance policy. You won't harm me, and I won't harm you. Unless you make me," she added. The Rani scowled but the Master was far more interested in the controls of the Time Rotor. "Right then," she announced. "All I have to do it slave the other two to this one, and we're off. It shouldn't be too hard. I've had a few months to study the blue prints. —Are you coming to help me or what?"
"'What'," the Rani said deliberately. "I have no intention of being anywhere near you when you're working. You creep me out."
The Master laughed. "Smart woman. Well, man. Temporarily."
The Rani glared. He moved his shoulder to be more comfortable against the wooden door. He waited.
.
.
The three Doctors stood beneath the Bahhoff Web. Each of them appeared to be pondering it without being conscious of anything else in the universe.
Mr Brown Suit, his arms folded with one hand under his chin, suddenly hauled in a deep breath. He scratched under his chin, his face one of disgruntled distaste. "Well… It'll be a challenge."
"I like those," Mr Black Jacket said happily.
"Tough challenge," Mr Bow-tie nodded, as if he hadn't heard. "I'm running through ideas but… well. Swimming through treacle comes to mind. Actually I remember using treacle once, in a situation not unlike this one—"
"Wait…" Mr Black Jacket said to himself. His face began to sag in hesitation over an imminent brainwave.
"A static charge, maybe? Some kind of overload?" Mr Brown Suit hazarded.
"To start a reverb?" Mr Bow-tie asked. "Possible. But very difficult."
Mr Black Jacket snapped his fingers. "Easy!"
"Do you think we could shock it into a relapse? It would eject excess energy and reduce in mass."
"It would need a hell of a shock," Mr Bow-tie said. "Like brick-through-a-plate-glass-window kind of shock."
"Easy," Mr Black Jacket urged. The other two looked at him. He turned and appraised them both. "Easy! You two are over-thinking it."
The barn door opened and Jack poked his head in. "Well, fellas? Has it got any bigger?"
"Did you get everything, Jack?" Mr Black Jacket asked.
Jack stepped into the barn, followed by Margaret. "Mavis did - she's as sharp as ever," he said, carrying a cloth bag over to the three men. Jack tossed the bag to Mr Black Jacket. "Don't I always get you the best stuff, Doctor?" he winked. Mr Black Jacket opened the bag. He reached in.
"I thought you said Mavis got this?" Mr Brown Suit said, taking the bag.
Mr Black Jacket was left with a screwdriver in his hand. "Fantastic."
Mr Brown Suit wrinkled his nose, as his hand came out of the bag and he inspected the screwdriver at the end. "This must be yours," he said, handing it to Mr Bow-tie. Mr Brown Suit reached back in and he took out the last one. "Marvellous." He pocketed it before his hand again delved in the bag. "Key for me," he said, checking the TARDIS key before pushing it into his trouser pocket. "And a key for…" He scrabbled in the bag. His face turned anxious. "A key for…"
"Come on, hurry it up," Mr Bow-tie urged.
"It's empty," Mr Brown Suit said, aggrieved. He turned the bag upside down and shook it. "It's not here."
"Then the Master has it. Brilliant," Mr Black Jacket accused.
"That means he's got into a TARDIS," Jack realised. "Holy flip."
"Language, Jack," Mr Brown Suit warned. "One of these days you're going to wear out the TARDIS swear filter."
Mavis, just behind Mr Black Jacket, hefted the box down from her shoulder. She held it out in her hands. "So-ko-lo-fro-do-ro-mo."
"Ah - the box. Excellent," Mr Bow-tie said. He put his hands out for it. Mavis handed it over. The moment she let go, Mr Bow-tie's hands plummeted to the ground - with the box still on top. "Ah! It's got me! Help! Heeeelp!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Mr Black Jacket tutted. He crouched and grabbed the handles at either end of the box. He heaved. The box didn't move. "Erm… Alright, it may have him."
Mr Brown Suit, Margaret and Jack reached down to help. But Mavis simply elbowed them all smoothly aside and lifted the box easily.
"Ah. Yes. Thanks, Mavis," Mr Bow-tie said. He shot to his feet so fast everyone else took a step back. Mr Bow-tie straightened his neckwear and cleared his throat, lacing his fingers to crack the knuckles. "Well then. Would you be a dear and open it for us?"
She unlatched the side and then turned the entire box round to show the available door to everyone looking. "Do-fo-mo-lo-ko-bo-to."
"I see what you mean," Mr Brown Suit said. He pulled his glasses from his inside pocket and slipped them on before bending to peer into the box. "Eighteen inches, eh?"
"We're going to have to shrink that a lot," Mr Bow-tie judged, as he looked up at the shining Bahhoff Web.
"Easily done," Mr Black Jacket said.
"It's going to be hard fitting it in there," Mr Brown Suit said.
"If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me," Jack smiled. Mr Brown Suit frowned at him. Jack cleared his throat and looked at his feet.
"What did I say?" Mr Black Jacket said loudly. "You're over-thinking it. It'll be easy."
Both Doctors turned and looked at Mr Black Jacket.
"Why is it when you talk I find it very easy to tune it out?" Mr Brown Suit asked him.
"Not my fault, pal. Maybe you just have poor hearing," he said with a shrug.
Mr Bow-tie looked pre-occupied for a whole moment. "You know… I remember people doing that a lot. It was like I wasn't even there."
Mr Black Jacket folded his arms. "Not as often as all that."
"Amazing how easily people forget all the good work you did," Mr Brown Suit said quietly.
"Honestly, it's like you're here today and then something shiny comes along and you're forgotten," Mr Black Jacket said. "But hey-ho, there you go."
"Yes, well," Mr Brown Suit said. "What were you saying about it being easy?"
"Well there's one sure-fire way to get that up there," he said, pointing to the rafters, "into that little box down there."
"And how's that?" Margaret asked.
"Reverse the polarity of its neutron flow," he shrugged.
Mr Brown Suit slapped his hand into his forehead. "Oh!" he shouted, as if he'd been shot. Everyone jumped. "Yes! Simple! Blimey I've been stupid! Stupidest oversight ever!"
"Oh I don't know about that," Mr Bow-tie remarked. "Remember that kitten on Rosoban Ess?"
"Ohh," he sighed in complete resignation. "Yeah. That was pretty stupid."
"When you're ready," Mr Black Jacket said. "We'll need three screwdrivers and that box held open."
.
.
Mr Black Jacket peered through the hedge, holding foliage back. Mr Brown Suit and Mr Bow-tie followed suit. They found the car park and the three TARDISes just as they had left them.
"Are you sure Mavis will be ok with that quantum lockbox?" Mr Bow-Tie asked. He looked over his shoulder nervously.
"Mavis will be ok. It's Jack I worry about," Mr Brown Suit said. "We'll be lucky if he doesn't jump out and try to attack the Master."
"Why would he do that?" Mr Black Jacket asked.
"Er… can't say," Mr Brown Suit said edgily. "You'll find out."
"Huh," Mr Black Jacket breathed. "Well here we are. We'll just stroll into our own TARDIS and check if he's in there, right?"
"Right," Mr Bow-Tie said. He put a boot out of the hedge and began to push through.
Mr Brown Suit clamped a hand down on his shoulder and heaved him to a stop. "Wait."
"What now?" he asked, his voice pitched high with annoyance.
"We need a plan," Mr Black Jacket said. "How about Elbows there snaps his fingers and opens all the doors at once. Whichever one emits the scream of a thwarted Gallifreyan gets rushed by us three."
"I like it," Mr Bow-Tie grinned. "I'm with Ears. Let's go." He lifted his hand.
Mr Brown Suit grabbed his wrist and held it fast. "How about we get close to the doors first. You snap your fingers and open all the doors. We hear the Master swearing at us and then we rush him. We need to get him out of the TARDIS."
"Good thinking, Hair," Mr Bow-Tie nodded.
Mr Brown Suit eyed him with the utmost annoyance, but he did let go of his arm. Mr Bow-Tie pushed his way through the hedge and headed for the TARDISes.
The other two Doctors hurried after him until they stood in front of the doors. Mr Bow-Tie looked at all the entrances, then waved at Mr Black Jacket. "Ears," he hissed, in a perverse attempt to be not heard as loudly as possible, "change places."
Mr Black Jacket looked at the door, then at him. "Why?"
"That one's mine," he hissed back. "This one's yours."
"Does it matter?"
"We're going to run straight into whichever one has the Master anyway," Mr Brown Suit sighed. "Let's get on with it."
Mr Bow-Tie raised his hand. "Ready, fellas?"
The other two shared a wary glance. They looked back at Mr Bow-Tie. They nodded.
Mr Bow-Tie snapped his fingers.
All three doors swung open.
Light flew out and sprawled into the dark car park.
As did the Rani.
He collided with the ground hard enough to force an angry 'oof!' from him. His head bounced against the tarmac and he groaned. His hand flailed up and massaged the offended body part.
A woman's voice cut the evening air: "Stop arsing around and watch this Time Rotor doesn't reset everything before I get back from the storage cupboard!"
The Rani's eyes picked up a pair of off-white Converse trainers in his line of sight. His gaze went up to the brown trousers. He rolled onto his back and found three heads looking down at him.
"Well," said Mr Bow-Tie, "you don't see that every day."
"More's the pity," Mr Black Jacket said. He crouched and grinned at the Rani. "Now then, oh great and powerful Master. Let's talk about who you've got working with you in there - before they get back from the storage cupboard."
The Rani began to grin. "Gentlemen," he said. "You have no idea."
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