Ronnie had never felt so nervous in her whole life. But she had found her, she was here, right in front of her was her baby girl, her Amy, her Danielle. A small smile of relief and pleading flickered on Ronnie's face. Her eyes were locked with Danielle's, she couldn't look away if she wanted to, but she didn't want to. She never wanted to stop looking at her beautiful little girl.

"Danielle, baby." Ronnie's voice was so soft. It was so maternal and warm, as if she were talking to an infant, in a way she was. She was speaking to her baby Amy, the child she had dreamt about and longed for, for nineteen years. Her arm slowly reached out towards Danielle. Ronnie prayed that she would feel her little girl's hand in hers once again. But instead she saw Danielle step back, away from her.

Ronnie's face and heart fell simultaneously. She wanted to throw herself down and scream and grab Danielle and not give her the choice, just never let her go. But she couldn't. She just kept her hand outstretched towards Danielle.

"Please, Danielle. I'm sorry. You're my baby, my Amy, you…" There was a note of pleading in Ronnie's voice as once again she felt the rug slipping out from under her feet. Danielle's expression had not changed. There was no warmth, relief or love there. She was blank. A canvas to be imprinted upon, a shield to hide the truth.

"Don't," Danielle said bitterly. There was a venom to her voice that made the hairs on the back of Ronnie's neck stand on end. Danielle was barely composed, she was balanced on a razor's edge. The look she had seen on Ronnie's face, the hatred. Nobody had ever looked at her that way and even if they had this was Ronnie, her mum. After seven months of hoping and trying and praying for Ronnie to understand and to love her, it had all fallen apart worse than Danielle had ever imagined it could.

Danielle had sat at the tube station, she had watched three trains go by and had no idea what to do. But Ronnie wouldn't leave her mind. The sound of her voice when she had denied and rejected her. The look on her face as she had thrown her down onto the road. The disgust and loathing. 'But you're my mum'. Still even at the station, the words echoed. A supplication, reverberating endlessly. Danielle wanted to scream, to get it all out of her head. Forget Ronnie, the whole family, forget why she came here, forget the last year of her life. The one person she needed, who could hold her and make everything better was her mum, but it was her mum who had done it all. It left an open gaping wound in Danielle and after seven months she had finally given up. She had lost. She was done.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Ronnie's voice squeaked as she gasped to keep yet more tears from falling. She wanted so much to be strong for her daughter. "I didn't know, you have to understand."

"NO!" Danielle shouted. The scattered strangers waiting on the platform all turned to stare as her voice shot through the relative silence of the night. Ronnie's hand moved up to clutch her chest as her breath hitched in a sob. Her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes widened in fear and pain.

"No Ronnie." Each word was taken on a breath, "I can't understand. I've had months of trying to understand you, trying to get to know you. I've had enough. It's too late now." Danielle's chin quivered with each passing second and she could feel her knees shaking but she remained strong. It was a front, inside she felt defeated, broken. But Ronnie didn't deserve to see that pain. She didn't deserve anything from Danielle.

"I didn't know. Please. If you'd told me…" Danielle's eyes widened in anguish and indignation at Ronnie's words. Her words burst forth,

"I TRIED. I tried to tell you SO many times but you never had time for me. You NEVER bothered to listen." Danielle's eyes skated away from Ronnie's as she moved her head to the side. She glanced down at the tracks below her.

"I…" Ronnie stuttered as she spoke. As Danielle's eyes refused to meet hers she felt her daughter slip that bit further away. Danielle interrupted before Ronnie could take the shuddering breath to form words.

"I came here to tell you. But then the first time I saw you were so perfect and so beautiful and I just thought how disappointed you'd be if you found out who I was. Disappointed to have someone like me as a daughter." The words came out bitterly and each enunciation cut through Ronnie like a knife, stabbing at the already open wound of her loss. Ronnie took a step towards Danielle, tried to breach the gap, the chasm that had formed between them but Danielle stepped away in equal measure. It was as if Ronnie was poison, danger, a vile plague to be kept at a distance.

"You don't even like me. You never liked me. Right from the beginning I tried so hard but you hated me." Danielle could feel herself breaking. Reliving her desperation, all the rejection, it hurt. It hurt more than Danielle could face. She let a tear slip down her cheek before she could stop it. At the sight of that one tear Ronnie couldn't stop herself, she moved in quick and steady steps towards Danielle.

Danielle backed away until she felt her back impact with the railings at the end of the platform. She glanced significantly down at the tracks to her left and her expression, as soon as Ronnie saw it sent sparks of pure terror through her very core. She closed the final gap between herself and her daughter and cupped Danielle's cheek in her hand.

Danielle flinched and tried to turn her face away but Ronnie's hand stuck fast to her cheek. She closed her eyes instead, desperate not to look at Ronnie, not to let her under her skin again. It was too painful, too much sorrow. Her eyes still closed, Danielle let out a shaky breath. Her weakness and uncertainty began to emerge.

"Did you ever like me? Even for one second? In all these months was there one second where you liked me for me?"

Ronnie stared at Danielle in disbelief that she could even ask the question. Danielle was all Ronnie wanted, all she would ever want, she was her daughter, nothing was more important. She let her thumb stroke the apple of Danielle's cheek gently in reverence of her beautiful little girl.

It was a mere second before Ronnie tried to reply but that second of silence, to Danielle was all the answer she needed. She opened her eyes and pushed away Ronnie's hand, stepping sideways away from the tracks and turning her whole body away from Ronnie. She began to speak, her voice soft and tainted with harsh disappointment,

"You deserve better than me. You knew that the day I was born." She tried to hold back tears but sniffed as another slipped down her pale cheek. She hardened her resolve. This was dragging for too long, she just wanted it over.

"You didn't want me then and you don't want me now. I've always been a disappointment to you. WHO WOULD WANT A DAUGHTER LIKE ME? Who could ever want the BIGGEST mistake of their life?!" Danielle wrapped her arms around herself as she couldn't hold back her tears any longer, they tracked down her face relentlessly.

"You can't do this," Ronnie begged. She saw Danielle, her arms hugging herself as if to form a barrier, a way to protect herself. All Ronnie wanted was to be that for Danielle. To be the shield, not the enemy. "I lov…"

"No!" Danielle shouted her words, screamed them violently. She couldn't let Ronnie finish that word. It was just too painful.

"Stop it. I've had enough of being lied to. You were right. You should have had an abortion when you had the chance. It would have made your life better…and mine too." She nodded her head, willing herself to believe the words, willing herself not to want Ronnie, not to need her anymore.

"No Danielle, I didn't...I never…please?" Ronnie scraped her hands across her face, wiping the tears and rubbing her eyes. She needed Danielle to understand and believe her. But Danielle had reached breaking point. She couldn't get Ronnie's betrayal out of her head. Every time she dared a glance upwards at her mother's face she was struck by the memory of the face that had denied her, that had cast her out, that had rejected her.

"No! You made your mistake and we BOTH have to live with it!" She pointed her finger accusingly at Ronnie as she yelled her words. In her peripheral vision she could see the other people on the platform staring at the scene that they were creating. Two girls were stood together whispering and staring. Danielle felt on display, like she was some oddity in a freak show, the girl that nobody wanted. It made her resentment and betrayal burn more callously within her.

"I didn't mean that Danielle, you have to forgive me!" Ronnie moved forwards once again, needing to prove her honesty to Danielle. Her arms were up in the air, her whole body screamed her harassment.

"No! YOU mess up and then blame me because I can't forgive you! I cant!" Danielle shrugged coarsely away from Ronnie's approach. Her hands moved violently before her in adamant gesticulation.

"I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU!" Her whole body bent forwards as she screamed out the words. It took all the breath that she had and was a deafening wail, screeching through the tension of the pair. It sounded to Ronnie achingly similar to herself when she had screamed at Danielle. It sounded the same as when Danielle had screamed that she was her mother. But it was darker, more bitter, hiding a miasma of agonies behind its volume.

Danielle's whole body shook with her merciless outburst. From behind her the train began to slide swiftly into the station. Danielle heard nothing but when Ronnie's eyes flicked fearfully towards the oncoming vehicle Danielle's head snapped round and she saw the train. She finally felt a relief as her escape was in view.

Ronnie's eyes pleaded with Danielle, through the tears that just kept coming she pleaded silently to her daughter to stay. She felt helpless. She was losing her Amy all over again. There was no forgiveness, no mercy.

Danielle calmed slightly with the knowledge that this would all be over soon. But the hurt hadn't subsided. She spoke slowly to Ronnie as she backed towards the edge of the platform. Her voice was soft but relentless.

"You can't treat people like that. Not anyone! I loved you so much but you aren't who I thought you were. A mother wipes away tears, she doesn't cause them. A mother protects her child, doesn't throw them out onto the street."

The train doors had slid open and Danielle was a mere foot away from them. Ronnie grabbed her wrist in her last fevered attempt to hold onto her baby. But Danielle yanked herself away roughly. She looked into Ronnie's eyes once more and spoke her final words to the woman she had pined for, for so long,

"You aren't a mother to me. You never were."

She turned towards the train and stepped on. There was no look back. No more chances. The doors slid closed leaving Ronnie quaking and shuddering in shock on the platform. Alone. She hadn't been able to process what was happening. She felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She stopped breathing, her breaths just wouldn't come.

The train started to move away, and in a second it was gone. She was gone.

Ronnie finally took in a gasping and choking breath as she doubled over and collapsed onto the cold concrete of the station platform, her sobs now uncontrollable. She curled her body around herself, her arms wrapped protectively around her chest. She was foetally curled in upon herself. Lost and alone. Broken, shattered irreparably.

A/N--- Ok, this chapter has taken me days to write. I found it really hard to get into Danielle's head during this chapter. But I REALLY hope it was worth it. I hope you were shocked and enjoyed the explosive chapter.

Please let me know what you think as I am still nervous about this chapter.