That was the song I was going to play.
I got in Riku's car since he had been picked up in that woman's. I drove down to the place where the ball was going to take place. I walked in, and I was greeted by many people. Someone in this federation must be talking big about me. Everyone wanted to introduce themselves and where they worked. I felt.. like a celebrity almost. This had never happened before. A bunch of pro pianists were there too. I felt a twinge of nervousness, but I was excited to show them how I play.
I hung out with a group of guys and few girls who talked all music. It was a little bit of gossip about others at the party, but it mostly was them explaining their own experiences with the concerts they had. I talked with them for awhile until I was called to the grand piano in the room. The piano was on a stage, and the instrument was beautiful. It was made from a black wood with keys that sparkled white. It was the most majestic piano I would ever play on.
Everyone in the room looked at me as I approached it. There was an announcer that explained who I was although I'm pretty sure everyone knew. I sat down, and I put the sheet music for my song on the stand. I took a deep breath as all eyes are on me. My hands touched the keys for the first time, and it felt right. Like I belonged to this piano.
I started to play my song. It wasn't hard for me, but this one meant a lot. It told of my feeling of guilt for never having told Riku how I feel. It showed how deep my love was and also how strong my jealousy was. This song made me feel free. I played with all my heart and soul. I made sure I hit every note perfectly with not a single mistake. This had to be good. The song lasted only a few minutes, but the story it told felt like a lifetime.
Then, I hit the last notes, and I finished. The whole room clapped in complete awe as I stood from the piano to bow. The announcer explained even his own astonishment. I felt proud of myself for having blown everyone away even if I had done it alone. I walked down from the piano and was praised by many different people. I was tyring to make my way to the exit because I just wanted to rest now without distraction. I had almost made it.. when I saw Riku standing there waiting for me. He was clapping too with a smile on his face.
I walked over to him without emotion. I didn't know how to feel right then. Riku pulled me into a hug.
"You did so great! It was beautiful! I'm so proud!" He said as he squeezed me without me hugging him back.
"Uh... I have to go to the bathroom.." I said, and I started walking in the direction of the bathroom.
As soon as Riku turned around, I ran. I ran so fast through the crowds, and I went towards the exit. I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to leave. Now. I burst through the back door, and I was surprised to see how empty everything was. All the shops had closed down for the night, and there was no one on the streets. No eyes or cars to observe me. It was dead silent. I ran down the streets as fast as my feet would carry me.
Who the hell did he think he was!? Yeah, I love him, and he's been the only one for me for a long time, but when I needed him tonight he had broken his promise. He said he'd be there, and he wouldn't be late. He was there, and he held up that end, but he only got there at the last second. I wanted him to take me there, and cheer me on. I wanted him to blow off work and tell me that I was more important.
I wanted to be his and only his. I never wanted him to find a girl that could make him happy because I was the one who wanted to make him happy the most. I ran and ran down the empty streets. I panted hard as my stomach started to cramp. I couldn't stop running. I kept on until I was sure my lungs would burst. I guess in a way I was working off my frustration.
I finally stopped, and I slumped against a wall panting. I had run at least ten blocks away from the ball. I didn't mean to leave so early, but I was just so frustrated. Why can't I be the most important thing in his life? That's all I've ever wanted. I had so many ideas.
Me and Riku would grow old together, and we'd be the kind of couple that had the strongest love. A love that was unbreakable. I sat there in the silence as I regained my breath. I decided I'd start walking. I walked down the back roads of the city since no one took those, and Riku would never find me. I walked and walked. I looked up into the sky to see that the moon was only a tiny sliver. The clouds partly covered it, and the night looked mysterious.
The light breeze ruffled my hair. I knew where I was going, but I had no idea how long it would take me to get there. It was only about nine in the evening right now so I had plenty of time anyway. I tried not to think about Riku. I was already upset, and there was no use in just getting more upset than I already was. My pace was slow. I looked out for the place I was looking for. I had to walk for a little while before I could get there.
I wanted to make it to that place before dawn or before anyone could find me. I just wanted quiet for awhile to be alone with my thoughts. With the pace I was walking right now, it almost felt like I would never get there. I walked and walked for at least two hours. Finally, I made it. I made it to that field of flowers where Riku took me all those years ago. I hadn't been here since, but I had remembered the way. I remembered what it felt like to be here. I sat down in the grass, and for a second, all was quiet. Not a single noise was being made. No birds, bugs, people,cars, not anything. I was happy to have the silence actually.
I had a perfect view of the moon, and as I looked up into the sky I felt my throat tighten. I cried. I couldn't help myself. I cried hard. So hard it shook my whole body. Damn it. Why am I such a kid about these things? Why can't all this pain just go away? I don't understand why I have to love Riku. There are so many other people out there that I could go for, but yet it's him. If I didn't have to love him..then I wouldn't.
I want to make him happy. I want to be the only one for him. I want him to take care of me when I'm sick. Hug me when I'm sad. I want him to do all those cute things that other couples do, but I'm not even strong enough to tell him how I feel. He didn't even care enough to blow off work for something that was the most important thing I've ever done.
What was I going to do now? I don't want to see him, but I left all my things at his house. This night couldn't get much worse. I stopped crying, and I sighed. The only thing I could do was lay down. You know.. despite everything being really crappy right now.. I did good tonight! I played the piano better than I ever have. I have to try and at least be happy I did that. With or without Riku, I did my best tonight. I'm proud of myself.
Even though I'm mad at him.. when Riku said he was proud of me.. I was so happy. I just felt like I couldn't be happier. Those words made my heart skip a beat. I know Riku will find his way home. He has his car keys on him so he'll be fine. It was about twelve in the morning now. I looked around at the flowers in the light of the moon. This place was like a heaven.
I laid down, and soon, I fell asleep. I had slept until morning, but to me it felt like only seconds. I woke up to something pawing at my nose. It felt like baby paws, and when I looked, it was a baby red fox. It was looking at me as it patted my nose. I picked it up, and it mewed with happiness. I just let it sit in my arms as I pet it. I realized that I was still in the field. I wondered what time it was, but I was too tired to check.
The baby fox kept pawing at my arm. It was so playful that I laughed. This was the cutest baby ever. I petted it as it yawned. Finally, the baby fox got out of my arms, and it trotted away back to its home. I was already in a better mood than before. I remembered that I had to walk home now. I stood, and I began the long trek home.
Maybe I had overreacted a little bit, but I still felt hurt by Riku. I could just talk to him about it, but I always feel so stupid about these things. He's going to want to know where I am and where I've been. I suddenly remembered I still had my suit on. I continued to walk as I saw that today there was many people walking around. My hair was probably a mess, and everything else, but I could care less right now. I was just trying to get home.
Eventually, I walked in the door. Riku ran over to the door, and when he saw me, he hugged me tightly. I just sighed.
"Hiro! I was so worried about you. I spent hours looking for you. I was afraid something happened.." He said.
"I'm.. fine.." I replied plainly.
"Where did you go?" Riku asked me.
"I..." I just said.
"I guess it doesn't matter." He said.
He stopped, and he started pushing on my body.
"Are you hurt?" He asked.
"I'm not hurt. I was just clearing my head." I told him.
"Why did you run off?" He asked.
"I don't know." I answered.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"You know, last night meant everything to me.." I started.
"I know.." He said confused.
"And the one person I wanted to be there for me was you!" I said falling to me knees and sitting on the floor, "But you couldn't even do that. You had to put work before me, and do you have any idea how that feels?! You didn't get there until the latest possible minute..."
I cried. I couldn't hold my emotions back. Riku stood shocked for a moment.
"Hiro... I'm sorry.. I didn't know I'd hurt you this bad.. I saw your whole performance though. I didn't miss the song you played." Riku said sitting next to me.
"I wanted to do my best for you, but I didn't even know if you were going to be there or not!" I cried holding onto him.
Riku just let me cry as he held me tightly. He leaned into my ear.
"I'm sorry.." He whispered.
When I stopped crying, me and Riku had dinner together. I'm glad everything worked out.. I guess telling him how I felt helped me, but I still wasn't able to tell him that I loved him yet. I just needed awhile longer.
"How was your date?" I asked him at dinner.
"Date?" He returned.
"With the blonde." I replied.
"That was just business." He laughed.
"I doubt that.." I said.
"She's pretty, but she's been married for two years now. Plus, she's a bully." He said laughing.
"Oh.." I said blushing at how silly I had been to think the two were dating.
"I'm not looking right now. Just waiting for the right person to come along." He said smiling slightly.
I hope that's me...
"I'll try my best." I laughed and then stopped when I realized what I just said.
"Hm?" Riku asked.
"Um.. I'll try my best too start cooking more.. I've been getting lazy." I saved.
"That's alright. I don't mind." He laughed.
I sighed quietly. I need to get better at this sort of thing..
The house phone rang as we ate. It was a number I didn't recognize.
"Don't worry, that's my ex wife. I'll just let the answering machine get it." Riku explained.
"Riku! You ass. Pick up the phone. I know you're at home. Anyway, I'll be coming over tomorrow to drop off some things so make sure you don't have any plans although you won't anyway, you bum." She said.
Then, the call ended.
"Charming, isn't she?" Riku laughed.
"She sounds really awful.." I noted.
"Yeah, she always sounds like that." Riku told me.