AN: Here is the next chapter. Just want to say I just beat GOW3 and I seriously cried. SERIOUSLY! If you don't have it yet, go get it. I loved it, and I think it is the best game I have played from the Gears Franchise. I hope you guys like this chapter. I am sorry for the delay, have life going on lol. I did want to say I understand that there are a lot of you who really enjoy the first one, but seriously I am asking you guys not to pound it into my head. Take this chapter for instance: the original was only around 1500 words, the new one is nearly 3500. That is a big difference. I am trying to give you guys a better feel for all the characters, and I am just trying to better the story. I like the rewrite better. So from now on I am no longer going to respond to people who email me about the original. I do not think in any way that you guys are being rude/flamers, I just get tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again when I have already explained it. I have explained in the ANs that I was not happy with the original so please quit messaging me about how "the original was great the way it was and why did I need to change it?". All I can say is that it is my story and I thought there was a lot that I wanted to make better. Hopefully you guys can start seeing the character development better than before. And not just with my OC but with all the characters. So please enjoy!
It took the three of them two hours to find their way halfway back to where they were before Delta squad intercepted them. It was a good thing too. Baird was nearing exhaustion, but didn't want to say anything. She knew though, she could tell from his labored breathing that he tried to hide, and the way he tensed with every step he took. She lay her head against his shoulder and wished that she could just walk by herself. This was humiliating because she was not used to being helped by others, and she knew that she owed this man a lot now that he had helped her.
It was a miracle that it hadn't taken longer for them to find their way back. They had crashed so far off course that they couldn't even see the smoke from the burning raven in the air anymore from their current location.
"What are you doing Baird? Giving out free piggy back rides?" asked Cole once he saw his friend with SSgt Morg on his back, as if he were a pack mule. She tensed at Cole's words which made Baird slow his pace in concern.
It was a funny sight though; it would have made a picture perfect moment with two lovers, but they weren't lovers so it was just funny. That and the fact that both of them wore solemn looks on their dirty faces just made the moment all the more priceless to Cole. She clung to his back with her arms wrapped around his neck securely, and her legs were being supported by his arms. Her head rested on his shoulder because she was so tired as well that she couldn't even bring herself to hold her head up anymore.
She blushed and slid off him quickly so she could adjust the gown before they got near her to see that her ass was hanging out of the back. She swayed though when her feet touched ground and she anchored herself to his back. When they were walking and it was just Baird, Anya, and herself, she had not minded that half of her butt was hanging out through the slit in the gown.
Now though, she was so embarrassed that she wished she had died when the helicopter went down. She silently cursed them for cutting her clothes off that day to save her life. She would have rather of died than be faced with this embarrassment. Her cheeks burned red and she did well to try to hide her face for a moment behind him until her skin tone evened out.
"Yeah, you want one asshole?" spat Baird tiredly at his best friend. He had been carrying her for two hours and he was more than tired. She wasn't heavy, but one could only carry someone so long before they wanted to drop to the ground and scream in agony. A silent thanks escaped his lips now that he did not have to carry her any longer. He had been so close to doing just that; falling the ground and screaming in agony from his muscles over exerting.
Ezra looked at him, and he looked away quickly. The expression on her face was one of confusion and question. He didn't know how to act around her now either. One, he was attracted to her and almost acting on that when he almost kissed her. Two, he was angry that he had to carry her so long, even though that was not her fault.
It wasn't her fault that she was in the condition she was in but he couldn't help but think that it was somehow her fault that he had almost kissed her. Ezra was becoming a big burden on him, even though he had told her that she wasn't a burden, in reality, she was. She was a bigger burden on him than he really realized. He just kept saying he was lonely and that was why he felt the way he did, but he doubted it.
There was no doubt that he was lonely. Everyone was lonely during these times of war. That wasn't the reason that he found himself drawn to her. He knew it was because he was growing fond of her in the short amount of time that he had met her.
These past several days have not been the happiest he had ever been, but they were happier than he was before they found her. So now he admitted to himself that he was beginning to get a soft spot for the woman. Yet that didn't stop him from knowing that she was a pain in his ass.
She was a huge burden to him for several different reasons. Yet despite the fact that he was growing fond of her, the biggest reason was because of her current condition. His muscles would testify for him in this case. He found himself taking care of her which in the long run was running him down. He needed to take care of himself, not her. Having her back in a fight was a different thing than having her on his back for two hours because she couldn't fend for herself.
Ezra opened her mouth to say something to him but then shut it. She knew what they had shared two or three hours ago would not be mentioned, but she wanted that moment again. She really cursed Anya for interrupting because now she felt lost. She wanted to be back there in the rubble where Baird had comforted her. Not here where she was having a hard time standing without a hand on Baird's shoulder, in front of the Delta Squad again.
Get a grip Ezra. This was reality, and this reality they were at war. There was no time for tears, love, or anything other than fighting for your life tooth and nail. Maybe after they weren't trying to rip the Locust Horde she could think of such trivial things as relationships. Now the only thing that mattered was the fact that she needed to get well so she could get back to active duty.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had let herself go back there to relive the memory to sate herself. Then she needed to find herself quickly before she became too lost in the memories.
Afterwards she pushed those thoughts to the furthest part of her mind where she stored all her bad memories in hopes she would forget about them. She opened her eyes and looked at Baird; who was sharing a private joke with Cole. Her chest constricted and her face twisted angrily. This whole forgetting thing was going to be easier said than actually done. How could she forget when he was standing right next to her? She was going to have to be around this man from this moment on almost every single day.
She had a weaker soul than she thought she had. It was not that she had wanted any of this to happen, yet it did. And she was going to have to suffer everyday near him while trying to forget what they had almost shared. She narrowed her eyes and her body quivered just like the ground did right before an E-hole appeared. Weak… She needed to move on and stop setting herself up for failure. This was not the first time she had been in a near situation as this; this had almost happened to her once before several years ago. Then she had been able to turn a cheek to it and was over it in a matter of moments. It had been two hours and it was as if it was burned into her flesh. She should be used to knowing that she should not let herself open to what had almost happened. It seemed that it didn't stop her though.
One could not help but wonder about the reasons she could not forget. It was not love she was feeling, that she knew. It was something along the lines of a crush or even infatuation with the idea that there could be love there. It was a cruel joke though to think those things.
War and love did not mix well, just looking at Marcus and Anya could attest to that, they never had any time to one another. It was hard knowing the truth about them. Knowing that they loved each other so much, but every moment that was spent together was talking about war. Maybe Anya was a stronger woman than Ezra. Or maybe she was stupider. Ezra wasn't sure as to what the answer was, she thought it was actually stronger. Anya loved Marcus and she would fight alongside him to survive together. Ezra admired that even though she wouldn't say it out loud.
She knew that wanted to fight alongside someone just like Anya, but she couldn't. She felt herself wanting to ignore it. That would be terribly dangerous for the both of them if she ignored it.
What did she hear someone say once? Loneliness is the worst disease to die of? She could almost swear she could see the Gear that had said it, but it seemed a lifetime ago that those words had been uttered. In the wake of them though she could see the Gear had been right. It is a terrible disease that eats at the heart, brain, and soul worse than any bullet could.
Finally he turned back to look at her. His face was stern with a firm frown on his face, and his ice colored blue eyes cold towards her.
"Let me help you," he said as he went to pick her up. His strong hands grabbed at her shoulders, but she stepped back uneasily due to her injuries. She shied away from him though letting go of him and stumbling a few paces away when he went to grab her again. She turned her eyes to the nearest person which happened to be Dom.
"You are tired. I am sure Dom can help me," she said as she gazed at Dom in hopes that he would help her instead of Baird. She stared at Dom for a few moments refusing to make eye contact with Baird, hoping that would help her bury the memories if she didn't look into his eyes.
Dom turned when he heard his name. "Could you help me so Baird can have a break from me?" she asked in a mere whisper. He nodded to her and smiled as if nothing made him happier to assist. That warmed her a little and a small smile tugged at her lips. The smile disappeared when she got a good look at Dom.
Dom's smile was all knowing, and that unnerved her. She would have been better off just letting Baird help her, but she didn't want to feel his touch, or his comfort. With Dom though she knew she was going to have to speak about what had happened. She needed to take a breather from Baird though so she could get her mind back in check, find her bearings in this sea that threatened to drown her. That knowing smile that Dom wore scared her. She wouldn't get a breather, she realized. She would get cold reality that would hurt worse than the making of her forming scars.
"Shit," she muttered as Dom came to stand next to her. No one heard her, which she was thankful for. Dom put a hand on her elbow to steady her as she swayed to the side.
"Have it your way," said Baird and he looked at Dom crossly. She missed the look that Baird gave Dom, but Dom had seen it. That look spoke more volumes than the expression she had worn on her face. Dom was correct in his accusations that the two of them were fond of each other.
She glanced at Baird as he turned away from her and strode in the other direction. He was following Cole as he started to show them the way back to the APC.
"It won't kill you," whispered Dom as he picked her up bridal style, careful of her stitches and tattered gown. She was surprised when he did this, she figured he would just carry her on his back, and it took her a moment before she responded to him.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispered back at him as she kept her eyes to Baird's back.
He had broad shoulders, and she couldn't help but wonder what he may have looked like without a shirt. She found herself breathless for a moment as she let her mind wander. A sigh left her lips, and she didn't realize until it was too late that it was one of those dreamy sighs that she hadn't since she was a damned kid. Yes, it was going to be much harder for her to forget about Baird.
"You are fond of him," he said as he started to walk behind the rest of Delta squad, but out of earshot. She turned her head to look at Dom's dark brown eyes. His eyes held so many emotions that it scared her nearly out of her skin.
There was a deep pain, undying love, righteous hate, and a lot of other wild emotions clashing behind his gaze. This was a man who never gave up on the love for his wife. He searched her out in these times of war, only to have to put a bullet in her head to save her. This man had to put his wife out of her misery, because in reality she no longer lived. She suddenly felt the weight of the decision he made bear down on her.
She realized that he had to live with the fact he killed his wife everyday of his life, but not only did he live with that guilt. She realized he lived with the question on if he hadn't taken her life would there have been any way for him to correct the torture that the Locust had lent her. Would there have been anyway that his Maria could have been the Maria she was before the war? Would there have been any way that he could have gone back to his life the way it was before E-Day if he hadn't of killed her?
She understood then that Dom would give anything to have his wife back. She understood that Dom would jump on the chance to bask in the glory of her love again. That was why he said that to her. But what Dom didn't understand was that she didn't want to love again and have to make the same decisions all again. The heart was too frail to live through this much loss. Or was it stronger than she thought?
Tears came to her black eyes. "I am fond of him," she admitted finally. Once she did it felt like a dead weight was lifted from her entire body. Admittance out loud got rid of a lot of pressure that she felt.
He watched as her eyes eased gently. He was glad to see her relax. "See, I told you it wouldn't kill you," he said with a sad smile. It hurt her to see Dom like this, but she felt warm in his company.
She smiled back and stated, "Okay, you were right, it hasn't killed me, yet."
"And it won't. There is no reason to fear fondness or even, one day, love," he said. But then the thought hit her that she almost uttered aloud. It would kill her if she fell in love, and the same thing happened to Baird that had happened to Maria. That would kill her, like it had killed a part of Dom. At that moment she wanted to hug Dom and tell him that she was sorry. She didn't though.
She leaned forward in his grasp and kissed his cheek instead. He closed his eyes and let the warmth of her kiss sink in. She would never know how much Dom needed that little bit of compassion that she had shown him. She leaned back and smiled at him and he returned her smile.
She looked away from Dom to Baird's back again. She was fond of that man, and according to Dom it wouldn't kill her to be fond of or even one day love him. She made a face at the thought of love. She had only been in love once and that was before this war. That love at torn her in two, and in all honesty she was afraid it would do it again. She already had pieces of her that had died because of it. She was sure she would die for good if she loved again and her loved one died.
Tears slowly spilled down her face as dark memories surfaced. She didn't bury them. She just let them play their course in her mind. It was times like these that she was tired of burying her memories in that darkest part of her mind. It ate away at her soul when she didn't let them take their course over her.
After reliving those dark memories she felt herself become cold again. She was SSgt Ezra Morg, and she was fond of no one. She had one purpose in life; kill the Locust Horde. It was her job to make them pay for all the loved ones that she had lost. Her eyes narrowed and her brows drew together in anger. It was a sudden change, she knew this, but it helped make her decision.
Not fall in love and live happily ever after because there could be no happily ever after when she still had a score to settle. She gave Baird one last longing glance, and then buried the emotions that she felt for him with her bad memories in that darkest part of her mind where hopefully they would be forever forgotten.
She wanted to give Dom the satisfaction of seeing her fall for Baird but for herself, she couldn't. Dom was in a way very wrong because he didn't know her. She had lost everything she loved one time and she knew she couldn't do it again. The only thing that kept her going everyday was the need to kill. The need to wear the blood of her enemies was what fueled her this entire time, and it would keep fueling her.
She had to finish exacting her revenge on the Horde before she could ever hope to have a love life or even a normal life for that matter. She would never be normal though. She would be too scarred, just like her body. If she were too scarred to be normal she would be too scarred to love again, that was her conclusion.
"If that is how you feel, but I wouldn't suggest it. War gets really lonely," said Dom since he was a first hand example of that loneliness. She looked at him confused, it was as if he was that Gear from her past that had uttered nearly the same thing. "It is written all over your face. You want to try and get to know him, but you won't let yourself," he said sadly.
She sighed and looked away. Dom was too wise for his own good sometimes. "You aren't the only one who has lost people they have loved. Don't be so selfish," he whispered as he slowed his pace to adjust her weight in his arms.
He was right though. She wasn't the only person who has lost people she had loved. And most of all: She was being selfish. That knowledge though didn't change her mind from keeping herself guarded from now on. She wanted to just get well so she could finish what she had started.
Every Locust she killed brought her a little bit closer to being able to live with her loss. Everyone of those bastards she wanted dead and she didn't care if it took her until her last breath to try and put a bullet into as many as she could.
She was Ezra Morg and the vengeance she sought would be hers.