Chapter 7

His breathing was heavy but regular as he pounded the streets, Christian had been running for longer than usual but his stress levels were still high. It was the first time in three years he had ever decided to go jogging just to get out of the flat, just to get away from Syed. Damn it, he thought, what is happening? The one thing they had promised each other when they finally got together was honesty. They had cemented their relationship with that and respect, and to him it meant valuing each other and working together to resolve their differences. Yet over the last week since they returned from Tamwar's engagement party Syed had been lying to him, and not just by omission. Then had come this morning's pronouncement – without any discussion, consultation or debate he had simply come to the decision to tell Tamwar that neither of them were going to go his wedding. Christian knew it was a sensitive issue, but after all the hard work that Tam had done trying to bring the family together, surely this would be a slap in the face to him. What right did Syed even have to talk for him, without so much as asking his opinion! Then there was the text that he had seen on Syed's phone with a contact number for Amira. Christian hadn't been able to believe his eyes, in shock he had left the flat and come back to find Syed sitting seemingly preoccupied reading – with the message clearly having been seen and deleted. He waited for him to say something, anything, at least to pick up on the argument they had had over breakfast, but nothing – so he left before his temper made him say something he would regret.

He found himself back on Albert Square, not yet ready to go home. Should he go to the cafe or the Vic or should he call on Roxy and let her lead him astray this evening so he could seriously drink to forget. The Vic won, he wasn't ready to walk out on Syed yet, but he needed more time to try and figure out what it all meant. He missed Jane – there was no-one else he could trust enough to talk to. For the first time since Syed had moved in he felt alone, really alone.

Back at the flat Syed was reeling in shock, Tam was right – he should have left the past alone. What was it about him that was doomed to self destruct? Firstly he stole from his parents, then he lied about being successful, then he started an affair with a man, proposed and married a woman, carried on with his affair, lied to his family, came out in the worst possible circumstances, got "straightened" and just as he had found happiness and a way back into his family and now he finds he is a Dad! The one person who he wants to tell, to help him come to terms with it is Christian, and he can't because it would kill him. Yet he can't hide it either, Christian will see right through him and he will end up layering lies upon lies just like the bad old days. He's lost, he has to get out, and he can't let Christian see him like this.

"Hey"

Syed was startled,"You found me?"

"Looks like I did."

"How?"

"Well, Tam hadn't seen you - and there aren't that many places round Walford that have good memories for us, other than our flat, and you clearly weren't coming back there. "

"Been a while..."

"Yeh ... you'd think by now they might have cleaned up this alley. Can you remember what we were doing last time we were here?"

"Hiding from our partners? Not very effectively, as I remember."

Christian had him backed against the wall, "That's not the bit I remember." His hand cupped the side of his face. "Come here." He pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, and getting the response he wanted pulled him into something more passionate.

"You going to tell me what is really going on?"

"I can't, I don't want to hurt you?"

"You don't want to hurt me – or you don't trust me to listen?"

"It's complicated..."

"With you it always is." he laughed. With his fingers curling through his hair his thumb stroked his cheek. "Whatever it is, it's eating you up – who else are you going to talk to?"

The silence lingered, but Syed was weakening to his touch. His face leaning into the caress, the gap between their bodies reducing, their breathing getting deeper and the heat was building up.

Christian leant forward so his lips were almost touching his ear, he whispered "Let's go home, Sy."

"Okay."