Huzzah! I've returned with another chapter! Thank you so much for continuing to be patient with me and following this story! Y'all's support means the world to me! This chapter will be Roy-centric and will focus how he's truly handling the situation at hand, so I hope you guys enjoy that. Anyways, on with the story!

Warnings: Some mature themes will be implied and mentioned, but there will be absolutely no detail as per usual.

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

*two weeks later*

"Alphonse, you know if there's anything you need you can tell me, right?"

"Actually, sir, if you're not too busy tomorrow…."

Roy checked his pocket watch as he entered his office. Exactly eight o'clock on the morning. He yawned as he sat down at his desk. He could scarcely believe it had been two weeks since he and his team returned to Central. After assisting with Luka's interrogation, General Raven once again suggested he take some time off. His team highly encouraged him to do so, but he still refused.

Taking time off work won't help me find Ed.

Although, aside from gaining some insight from Luka and his sisters to possible locations Vincent could have taken Ed, the military wasn't making much progress in its efforts to find the captured alchemist. Bradley had already sent some officers up north to Drachma, but they haven't reported any useful information yet.

He rubbed his eyes in a vain attempt to wake himself up, having gone another night with absolutely no sleep.

"Unless you enjoy staring down the barrel of a gun, you might want to wake up," Havoc teased as he meandered over to his own desk and sat down. "You wouldn't want Hawkeye to find you asleep on the job, would you?"

"Thanks for the advice, Lieutenant," he deadpanned.

He opened one of the many files on his desk and stared at the papers within. Suddenly, he heard Havoc rise up from his desk.

"I'm going to get coffee. Do you want any, Boss?"

"No thanks," he mumbled.

While he didn't look at the Lieutenant, he could feel the man's concerned gaze on him. A second went by before he heard footsteps heading toward the door.

"You can talk to me about anything, Boss. You can talk to any of us. You don't have to suffer through this alone."

He sighed, recalling Havoc's words from a few days ago. He'd lost count of the number of times Maes had pulled him aside the past two weeks to tell him the exact same thing. At least Havoc hadn't pestered him about it since. Actually, now that he thought about it, no one on his team had.

For the first time since he returned, he had the closest thing to normalcy he could have.

"I see you and Havoc are early today, sir," Hawkeye observed as she entered the office, bringing the Colonel out of his thoughts. She walked over to her superior with a steaming mug in her hands. "I made tea and figured you might want some. You've been drinking too much coffee lately."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he said, not even taking his eyes off his paperwork even though he made no move to actually do any of it.

He yawned yet again before grabbing the warm mug.

I have to stay awake. My men need to think I'm okay. If I don't sleep then I won't see….

His eyebrows rose as he took a sip of tea. It was much sweeter than he'd anticipated considering his First Lieutenant made it.

"What kind of tea is this, Lieutenant?" he asked.

"It's wild sweet orange tea, sir," she said before she left the office.

The name alone made sense. Roy finally got himself to start his paperwork and he drank more of the tea.

Why does this taste so familiar?

He couldn't quite put his finger on it. A few minutes later, Riza returned with more paperwork, but she wasn't alone.

"Hey, Roy! How's it going?" a jovial voice rang through the previously quiet office.

He looked up to see Maes sauntering up to his desk and he nearly groaned. He really wasn't in the mood to be bombarded with photos, so he turned his attention back to his paperwork.

"Fine," he replied curtly.

"I called Alphonse last night to see how he was doing. He's coming to visit today, isn't he?"

The Colonel felt his mood lift instantly at the mention of the younger Elric.

"He's supposed to be here sometime after lunch."

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited about Al visiting. He just wished he could give the kid a more promising report concerning his brother.

Much to his surprise, Maes remained silent. He didn't gush about his daughter. He didn't shove any photos in his face. Roy risked a glance up at his friend. The Lieutenant Colonel looked to Riza, who simply nodded at him in return. Neither military officer seemed aware that he'd just witnessed the little exchange.

He quickly shifted his gaze back down and continued filling out the never-ending pile of papers. His eyelids started to droop shut. He gave his head a quick shake and finished the last of the tea. He paused before he set the mug back on the desk.

"You know what that tea reminds me of, Lieutenant? The medicine I used to take when I got sick as a kid to help me sleep. It was just as sweet…."

His voice trailed off and his eyes widened when he realized what Riza had done. He stared in disbelief at his First Lieutenant.

"You drugged me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Colonel—"

The mug fell on the desk with a clang as Roy shot up from his chair and bolted for the door.

I have to get out of here. I have to throw this up. I can't go to sleep. I can't go back to that nightmare.

Unfortunately, his friend had anticipated him making a break for it. Maes caught Roy before he made it to the door, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace. The Colonel twisted and turned to free himself. It took more effort than it normally would due to the sleep deprivation and drug coursing through him, but he succeeded and made it to the door.

"Havoc! Breda!" Hughes called.

Just as he exited the office, the two Second Lieutenants grabbed his arms. He thrashed against their hold, but his movements were starting to grow sluggish.

That certainly didn't stop him from trying, though.

Maes and Riza appeared in an instant to assist their comrades. The Lieutenant Colonel grabbed his waist while Riza managed to grab his legs. Between the four of them, they were able to carry the still struggling Colonel back into his office. However, it wasn't without difficulty. Each one of them was strong, but their leader was desperate. If the drug hadn't already started taking effect, he probably could have escaped them.

"Let go of me!" Roy demanded.

His eyes were starting to droop shut again. He fought to keep them open, but that was a battle he was quickly losing.

I have to get free. I have to stay awake. I can't go to sleep.

Roy's struggles soon became nonexistent and he sagged in the arms of his friend and subordinates.

"I'm sorry, Roy," Maes said, voice strained as he and the others carried him toward one of the couches.

They gently set him down and stood by, although it wasn't necessary. There wasn't any chance of him escaping. The drug was in full effect. Roy still tried to fight it, but it was no use. He made sure his anger and confusion couldn't go unnoticed as his eyes slowly closed. Right before he was fully pulled into unconsciousness, he felt someone lift his head to slip a pillow underneath it while someone else settled a blanket on top of him.

They don't know what they're doing. They don't have the slightest idea of what they're putting me through.

*break*

Ed gasped as his head was yanked up out of the water. He couldn't help but notice the fear in the kid's eyes when he wasn't forced back down. He flashed Ed a smirk before facing Vincent.

"If you've really been watching Fullmetal, you'll know that he's a real spitfire when he's angry. He threatened to kill me if I even considered giving in to you. I guess what I'm getting at is you should know that I'm definitely more scared of him than I am of you, so you can just forget the idea of me cooperating."

His smirk grew when he heard Ed's laugh ring throughout their prison. Vincent's ever-present smile faded into a thin line.

"Would you two mind leaving us?"

The two other Drachmans let Ed go and left. His brow furrowed when Vincent walked over to his collapsed subordinate. The poor kid didn't even have the energy to fight back as Vincent grabbed him by his hair and force his head back underwater.

One minute passed…then two.

Vincent should have pulled him out by now.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He couldn't do anything but hang in his restraints as Ed's body went limp. Vincent finally pulled him out of the water and threw his body to the ground.

Ed didn't move.

"Fullmetal?"

Ed wasn't coughing. His chest wasn't rising and falling.

He wasn't breathing.

"Edward…."

*break*

Riza glanced at her commanding officer. He hadn't stirred since falling asleep. She crossed her arms and paced to the other side of the office, having given up on getting any paperwork done hours ago.

"Do you think this was a mistake?"

She couldn't stop the question from escaping her. Maes shifted in his seat on the couch across from the Colonel.

"Roy hasn't slept properly in weeks. He was already struggling to function and couldn't have kept this up much longer. It was only a matter of time before he collapsed."

Riza nodded, but remained silent. She didn't miss the way he never actually answered her question. She looked back at the Colonel, inwardly hoping they hadn't made a huge mistake.

*break*

Vincent moved behind Ed, wrapping his arms around his waist. He could feel the fire burning in his eyes at the sight of the predatory smile spreading across their captor's face.

"Exactly how far are you going to let me go, Colonel?"

He nearly let out an audible growl when Vincent pressed his lips to the back of Ed's neck. He could see his subordinate shudder.

Vincent couldn't possibly mean….

"Get. Away. From. Him. Now."

His teeth were clenched so hard he's surprised they didn't shatter. Vincent only smirked and nuzzled Ed's neck and let a hand trail down his side. Ed's eyes were shut, as if he was trying to block out everything Vincent was doing to him.

"It's fine, Colonel."

His heart broke just like Ed's voice did.

"Stop!" he demanded, his desperation laced in his tone.

"Relax, Mustang. It's not like it's the first time I've done this to him."

"I think he's waking up."

Roy wasn't sure who said it, but he thought he heard someone respond. He heard the sound of a door shutting. It took more effort than he was willing to admit, but he managed to open his eyes. Slowly, he sat up and tossed the blanket off him.

"Roy."

He looked up to see Maes sitting across from him. He was practically shaking.

How dare he?

By the way Maes stiffened, he knew his friend could tell he was furious. He looked toward the window to see the dark orange glow of the setting sun streaming through the curtains. He checked his watch.

It's just past seven o'clock. They made me sleep for eleven hours….

He ran a hand through his hair and finally looked his friend in the eye.

"Was drugging me really necessary, Maes?" he asked in an eerily calm voice.

"Roy, you haven't been sleeping." The Lieutenant Colonel put a hand up when he saw that Roy was about to interrupt. "Don't you dare say anything about Havoc seeing you sleep, because he hasn't. He's seen you faking it. He's known you long enough to know the difference. You need to take care of yourself and you're not. Drugging you seemed like the only option to actually make you sleep."

The Colonel bowed his head, unable to hold Maes' gaze or deny his words; however, his hands soon clenched into fists. The fury toward his friend and team was still raging through him.

"Keeping yourself awake and letting your health deteriorate isn't going to do anything to help Ed, Roy," Maes continued. "We've tried to get you to see a therapist. Hell, Grumman recommended that you do. If you weren't comfortable with that, you're well aware that you could go to anyone on your team or myself if you needed to talk. I know you feel awful about what happened to Ed, but bottling up those feelings is going to do nothing but tear you apart."

Roy snapped his head back toward the man.

"You think that's why I don't sleep? Just because I feel guilty? I do feel guilty, and nothing anyone says will change that. I will never forgive myself for not saving my subordinate like I promised him I would, but that's not why I can't sleep."

"Then why?" Maes asked, crossing his arms and sitting back against the couch. "I'm sure all of us will understand. There isn't anything you can't tell us."

The silence that followed was almost deafening. Maes certainly didn't miss the way the Colonel's eyes flashed dangerously and he tensed when the man took a deep breath.

"You really want to know what happened, Maes? Fine." Roy began, his voice louder than before. "Over the course of those five days, I watched Ed get his chest slashed, every one of his fingers broken, and four of his ribs broken. I didn't just get to watch it. Vincent made me participate in some of it. He had me whip the kid and rip off every one of his fingernails. I didn't have much of a choice because Vincent threatened to make him suffer through worse if I didn't do it myself. Do you have any idea of what it's like to torture your own subordinate?"

Maes could only stare at his friend with wide eyes. His heart plummeted when he realized his friend wasn't finished. Roy continued, practically yelling at this point.

"Vincent killed Ed. Actually killed him. He forced Ed's head down into a tub of water and didn't pull him out until he'd drowned. Then he resuscitated him. Do you know why? Just to prove that he could kill Ed at any time and to hold it over my head that he was the reason Ed was still alive. Not long after that, we were separated for two days. I was drugged for all that time, but Ed was awake for every second of it. Vincent gave him a hallucinogen. I'm not sure what all he saw, but I know he thought I was the one torturing him. Vincent carved into Ed's stomach that he was the property of Drachma and did other things I don't even know about because Ed refused to tell me." He stood so he was towering over his friend. "It gets worse, Maes. Vincent raped Edward…on multiple occasions. After Ed had his lips crudely sewn shut, Vincent threatened that if Ed fought back when he did it that he would assault me instead. You know what happened? Ed actually let him. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to know that one of the boys I consider as a son let himself be sexually assaulted so that I wasn't? You said everyone would understand how I was feeling, but you can't possibly understand that!

"It's already bad enough that I lived through it, but I didn't want to tell anyone so they wouldn't have to imagine Ed going through all of that. Every time I go to sleep, he's there. He's having his fingers broken. He's getting whipped. He's drowning. I can't do anything to stop it. That's why I don't sleep. I want to be at my best so I can help Ed when the time comes, but I can't go back into that hell, and that hell is what you all trapped me in for the past eleven hours."

Maes was completely pale and his mouth hung open.

"I…Roy, I'm—"

The Colonel didn't let him finish before he stormed out of his office. He froze the second he opened the door. All of his team was still there…and they'd heard everything. Fuery was vomiting into a nearby trashcan, and Havoc and Breda looked like they weren't fairing much better. He couldn't blame them at all, knowing that each of them saw Ed like a younger brother and didn't even want to imagine the horrors they'd just discovered actually happening to the kid. Even normally stoic Falman had the blood completely drained from his face, turning his skin a sickly gray color.

He could have sworn his heart stopped beating when he met the glowing red eyes of Alphonse Elric.

Riza was standing next to the boy, a hand on his arm to comfort him despite the fact he couldn't feel it; however, the First Lieutenant was having her own problem of maintaining her usual composure.

Alphonse…he heard everything…he knows what happened to his brother…what I did to his brother….

Unable to face Al, or anyone on his team for that matter, he ran. He didn't hear any of his subordinates calling out to him. He just ran and didn't stop until he reached the gates of Central Command.

I have to leave. I have to find Ed. I can't fail him again. I can't fail Alphonse again. I have to get to Drachma. I need to find him.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. He grasped the iron bars of the gate, clutching to them as if they were a lifeline. Tears welled in his eyes, and willed himself not to let them fall.

...but I can't. Not like this.

A firm hand gripped his shoulder, bringing him out of his thoughts. He looked behind him, a couple tears escaping much to his dismay.

"Al," he breathed. "I'm…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear all of that. You shouldn't have had to find out what happened to Ed like you did. I let my anger get the best of me and I shouldn't have."

He hung his head, completely ashamed of himself. The grip on his shoulder tightened and pulled him away from the gate. He was soon facing Al's chest plate and another arm wrapped around him. It took him a moment to register that Al was hugging him.

"Colonel, there's no need to apologize. After hearing everything you and my brother went through, I understand why you snapped. I don't blame you for anything, even if you think I should for what you were forced to do to him. You didn't have a choice. You didn't want him to suffer through more than he had to, and for that I have to thank you. I can't imagine how hard of a decision that was to make."

The metal arms pulled him even closer, and Roy returned the embrace the best that he could. The two stood in silence, both needing each other's presence; however, the longer it continued, the more tense the Colonel got.

"How are you doing, Al?" he finally asked after gathering up the courage to break the silence between them.

He took a step back to look up at the younger Elric. Al's helmet turned to the side.

"Honestly…not well. Brother must have been in so much pain and had to be so scared. I can't even begin to think about what's happening to him now."

It was barely noticeable, but the hollow voice cracked at the end. Al was trying so hard to be strong like his older brother, but this was obviously difficult for him.

Roy could definitely understand that.

He opened his mouth, but quickly shut it when Al handed him a small bottle.

"I…I need to go, but Lieutenant Hawkeye asked me to give you these. She said they help her sleep and she doesn't usually have any dreams. I volunteered to give them to you after what happened today." His armor creaked as his stance shifted awkwardly. "I know you're probably still angry. I don't have any right to tell you not to be, but I can tell you your team had good intentions. I remember how exhausted you sounded when we spoke last night. We were all worried about you, Colonel, but we didn't know your nightmares were that bad. I really hope those pills help you."

Roy stared at the bottle in his hand. He barely heard the clanking footsteps heading toward the gate. The grating of the metal against the ground caused him to look up and see the younger Elric leaving Central Command.

"Alphonse!" The suit of armor turned around. Roy inhaled deeply before speaking again. "Th-thank you. I know you wanted to visit today, and I know you probably didn't get what you needed out of it. If you need to spend some time alone, I understand. I just want you to know you can talk to me about whatever you need. You can visit me whenever you need. My door will always be open for you, Al."

Al nodded and exited the gate. His voice was quiet, but Roy definitely didn't miss it.

"I appreciate that, sir. You might find me taking you up on your offer sooner than you think."

Well, there it is! I hope you all enjoyed the last bit with some Roy and Al bonding! I definitely enjoyed writing that scene in particular.

Anyways, I sincerely apologize for not updating sooner. The worst of the semester is over though, so updates and new fics should be coming out at a quicker rate! Until then!