Hey everyone, I can't quite believe how many people are enjoying this story so far and I know my uploading hasn't been particularly consistent but it's the summer holidays for me now so I'll have more time to write and upload chapters :) a lot has happened since I last uploaded, for example I seem to have found a guy who wants to date me for some reason. So yeah I have a boyfriend now and I'm making him read all of the HP books because he's only seen the films and we all know they do a terrible job of explaining what's happening and miss out a lot of crucial information. Also on the 21st of July I will be going away for a few days so I wont be uploading anything for a few days but when I get back I'll go back to uploading more chapters.
I hope you will enjoy this chapter, it took me a while to finish but here it is.
DISCLAIMER: Despite how much I wish I owned it, I have no ownership of the Harry Potter franchise or it's characters. *sighs sadly*
"Speech"
Flashback
Letters and notes
"Spells"
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN STUFF THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE SO IF YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF SELF HARM PLEASE BE CAREFUL ABOUT READING THIS CHAPTER.
The next day when I woke up, I felt a sense of foreboding, as if something was going to happen today. Knowing that my instinct was usually right about these sorts of things I got dressed feeling anxious. I decided not to eat because there was a high likelihood that I'd just bring anything I ate back up again. I wandered through the corridors until I found myself in a familiar bathroom.
"Who's there? Have you come to make fun of me again?" Said a shaky, tearful sounding voice. "No Myrtle, it's just me." I replied as she came into view. Moaning Myrtle gave me a smile and said, "Oh hey Harry, it's been a while." I nodded, sat down on the floor, and let out a deep sigh. "Everything seems to be going wrong now. I feel like I did in second year when you found me crying in one of the stalls in here." I admitted in a small voice. Myrtle floated down next to me and commented "Don't worry you'll be fine, I'll help you through everything because I've experienced a lot of this stuff myself." I gave her a weak smile "Thanks Myrtle."
Walking into Transfiguration I felt uneasy, I was merely centimetres away from the woman who watched one of her colleagues be obliviated and not raise a finger to help her. Throughout the lesson, I could feel the eyes of professor McGonagall on me until the double lesson was over and I could finally breathe.
I had Charms next which I usually enjoyed but I still had a foreboding feeling in my gut so I was distracted the entire lesson. Professor Flitwick was teaching us how to perform the summoning charm and I was the only person having trouble due to my distracted nature. At the end of the lesson, everyone had mastered it apart from me and he set me homework that consisted of practising.
Lunch followed but I didn't go down to the hall, I sat up in the astronomy tower trying to work out what it was I could sense. There was a heavy feeling in my gut and over the course of the day it had gotten worse, so whatever the thing I could sense was it would happen soon.
Remembering I had to get to class, I got up and slowly made my way to Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was only when a gruff voice commanded us to come in that I remembered who was teaching us, and the feeling in my gut suddenly made sense.
"c'mon in and sit yourselves down. For the very few of you who don't know who I am, my name is Alastor Moody, ex-Auror for the ministry of magic and your new teacher. Any questions?" Barty Crouch Jr growled, the electric blue enchanted eye whizzing around in its socket as it flickered across each student. "Constant Vigilance!" he suddenly exclaimed making the whole class jump. "That's what you need to survive, constant vigilance will prevent all manner of attacks and ambushes taking you by surprise." He turned around and started writing on the board which may have made the rest of the class relax but I wasn't going to let my guard down that easily. This man was not who he claimed to be because the map is never wrong and will show any persons real identity even if they're invisible or in some other kind of disguise. Sure enough, he shouted "Constant vigilance!" and yet again the class jumped except me. He spun around with a feral looking smile and asked "Now who can tell me what an unforgivable is?"
"They're curses that the ministry has deemed unforgivable." Answered Hermione in a quiet voice. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes; she could never let anyone else have a chance at answering a question. "Correct miss Granger, now can you tell me why/" replied Barty with yet another feral grin. "Because they're unforgivable, sir." She replied in a shaky voice. This intrigued me, I'd never heard of these curses since entering the wizarding world yet they sounded like something important that everyone should know about. "Correct again miss Granger, The use of just one of these curses on another living person can earn you a one way ticket to Azkaban." Barty growled out, writing the words unforgivable curses on the board before turning to face the class once more.
"now can anyone here tell me what the three unforgivable curses are?" he asked both eyes staring at each face in front of him in turn. Surprisingly the person to put their hand up next wasn't Hermione; it was Ron.
"My dad did tell me about one… The erm, Imperius curse?" he stammered nervously. Bartys face grew more serious and he nodded "oh yeah, your father would know all about that one, it gave the ministry a great deal of trouble in the last war." As he spoke, Crouch Jr opened up a jar of spiders and enlarged one of them with a muttered engorgio. I hid a smirk as Ron squeaked in fear but when 'Professor Moody' also muttered Imperio, I focused. He made the spider do cartwheels and flips across the desk and a few people started to laugh but were quickly silenced when Barty snarled "Think that's funny do you? How would you feel if this was you huh?" The spider began to tap-dance and no one laughed this time "Complete control, I could make it jump out the window, drown itself, cram itself down one of you throats, -" It was at that point I heard Ron gag and push his chair away from his desk at the front. "- this curse overpowers a person's will and forces them to do whatever the caster wishes. You can see why this spell can cause problems for the ministry now can't you? After the dark lord was defeated many of those who took part in activities ordered by him or who openly supported him claimed to have been under this curse but here's the thing, how do you sort out the liars?" Barty spoke this with such anger that a few people jumped in alarm. I felt the heavy feeling in my gut again. Whoever Crouch Jr was, he certainly wasn't afraid of using spells like that and seemed to have some experience as he described how it made the person feel when under the curse. "right, who can tell me the next curse?" he asked having put the spider down on the desk. I looked around and was surprised to see Neville's hand slowly rise up.
"The… um.. the C… Cruciatus curse." Neville whispered timidly and I felt a rush of sympathy for him. "Ah yes, the torture curse." Said Barty as he picked up the spider and placed it on Neville's desk. "A particularly nasty curse that was favoured by the dark lord and his followers to get information. It causes the one under it to be overcome with unbearable pain like so." He waved his wand at the spider and growled Crucio. The spider twitched and jerked violently and a high pitched noise seemed to be emitting from it. If it had a human voice I was sure it would be screaming in agony and I glanced up at the imposter Moodys face which looked pleased with what was happening. Shuddering I glanced at Neville and was shocked to see him looking so upset. "Professor?" I called trying to snap him out of it "Professor Moody!" I said louder, more urgently. 'Moody' looked up at me then to Neville who looked white as a sheet and lifted the curse from the spider which collapsed on the desk in exhaustion.
Barty cleared his throat and picked up the spider which he placed on my desk and looked around the room expectantly. "Does anyone want to give me the last curse?" he asked in a quieter voice than before. Suddenly I felt the sense of foreboding again and I remembered the dreams I used to have about the night my parents died. Logic told me that it was possible that was the last curse. "Is it the killing curse by any chance?" I mumbled nervously. Barty looked surprised but quickly masked it. "Yes the final curse is the killing curse. It was one of the dark lords favourites and no one has ever been known to survive it except one." He looked down at me, his normal eye and enchanted eye staring directly at where my scar was. He broke his gaze from my forehead and directed it at the spider. Avada Kedavra. A flash of green light accompanied by a rushing sound caused the spider on my desk to drop down dead with its legs curled inwards.
A strange sense of déjà vu hit me and I realised that was how my parents had died; blinding green light, the rushing noise of death approaching and then nothing as they fell down unmoving on the floor. I stared at the spider for a few minutes longer, ignoring the stares from the others in the class and trying to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to escape my eyes. Before I knew it, the end of the lesson had come and it was time for history of magic. As I slowly stood up, I met the eyes of Neville who looked as bad as I felt.
"Hey Neville." I said walking beside him. "Oh, hey Harriet, that lesson was something wasn't it?" He responded in a small voice. I merely nodded and we walked in silence to our next lesson. We both sat at the back and as Professor Binns began his normal droning, I began to think over the previous lesson. I wasn't sure what he'd said towards the end but something inside me told me it wasn't good. As the lesson wore on I felt myself becoming less alert and I stopped analysing Barty Crouch Jr, instead wondering how Dumbledore was planning on screwing up my life this year. By the end of the lesson, I was feeling less confident and instead of going to dinner, I ran to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall.
Silent sobs shook my body and I sat on the closed toilet lid trying to control myself. In the end, it became too difficult and I gave in, sliding a small plastic container out of my bag. Inside the plastic container was a few things I used to cope: muggle sleeping pills; for when I had nightmares and didn't want to get dreamless sleep potion from the infirmary. A rubber band; which I'd ping against my wrist when trying to prevent myself using the third thing. Finally, a small blade I'd managed to unscrew from a muggle pencil sharpener. I shakily reached for the third item, etching five quick little marks into my arm and then as I looked down at them I felt sick. If anyone found out they would call me messed up and they wouldn't be wrong. Why couldn't I cope with things like normal people? Why was I so weak that I had to revert to these methods? I closed my eyes and shook my head, shame, and self-loathing flooding my thoughts. Carefully I placed everything back into my school bag and rolled my sleeve down again. Taking a few deep breaths, I exited the stall and found myself face to face with Myrtle.
"Harry, I know what you were doing." She stated in a sad voice. I opened my mouth to instantly deny it but the look on Myrtles face made me stop. "Harry you forget that I was a muggleborn and I know all about the things you have in your bag." She was frowning at my bag which I shifted behind me a few centimetres, ashamed of what she'd caught me out on. Trying to remain calm I desperately looked around, thinking of things I could say but when I opened my mouth all that came out was "I can't help it." After I said that, I broke down and the tears wouldn't stop. Myrtle joined me where I had collapsed on the floor and tried to cheer me up as the tears kept falling. "Harry listen to me, you'll get through this. You're stronger than I ever was so I know you will manage to get through this." Myrtle said encouragingly. I took a gasping breath and tried to stop but everything had built up from over the summer and the few days at Hogwarts had just added to my problems so now everything was coming out. I sat there gasping for air between sobs and shaking from the raw emotions that had overwhelmed me.
Unsure of what to do Myrtle backed away and disappeared, reappearing moments later with a guilty expression. "I'm sorry, I know you'll hate me for this but it's for the best." She said with a sad expression. For a second I was confused until I noticed a figure in the doorway. I felt fear and betrayal course through me but it dissolved into another bout of uncontrollable sobs.
"You did the right thing Myrtle." Murmured Professor Snape, walking into the room and scanning his eyes over me, an unreadable expression on his face. I went to shuffle backwards but Snape moved quickly and placed a hand on my shoulder, preventing me from moving very far. "I can take it from here." He nodded to Myrtle who floated away and then he looked back to me. "Up you get Potter." He said and lifted me to my feet. Unsure what he was going to do I stood in place trembling, my eyes locked on the floor. "Follow me to my office under your cloak." He instructed in an emotionless voice that gave nothing away. I gulped but did as he said, following him anxiously down to the dungeons where his office was.
Once we were safely in his office with the door shut and charmed, Snape turned to me with a sigh. "Professor, I'm fine really, I'll see you in detention on Friday." I blurted out after finding my voice again and walked over to the door only to find it locked. Panicked I started rattling the door and when it didn't budge I turned around slowly to find Snape watching me carefully. Holding back tears again I began fiddling with the sleeve of my jumper and occasionally chewing on it. "You look so much like your mother when you do that." Stated a soft voice. I froze and glanced up at Snape who was watching me intently. "In fact you look a lot like your mother except the colour of your hair and the glasses." This time I saw him speak in that soft voice and I was terrified. "Harriet I know you're probably not alright and me acting so nice has probably terrified you but you need to trust me. I'm going to help you." He said coming closer to me. I felt a tear slowly trickle down my face and I tried to ignore it but Snape had seen it. "Come on Harriet tell me what's wrong, I've noticed you've been different since the start of this week." He said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder but letting go when I flinched. "D…Don't touch me!" I exclaimed reflexively, taking a step back and cowering slightly. I realised what I'd done and looked at Snape hesitantly, scared to see his reaction. "It's alright Harriet I'm not going to hurt you." He said in a calm voice as he backed away. I swallowed nervously and began fiddling again. "Harriet what's that?" he suddenly asked in a stern voice. I frowned in confusion and then realised I'd pulled up my sleeve by accident and the recent marks were visible. "N…Nothing!" I squeaked immediately and pushed it back down but Snape wasn't fooled. "Let me see them." He commanded and reached out an arm. I reluctantly shuffled towards him and let him pull up the jumper sleeve. "Oh Harriet, What have you done?" he whispered shaking his head. I suddenly felt very sick and dizzy and before I could do anything, everything went black.