Envy's problem was not that he couldn't control his emotions, but that he had emotion. He was supposed to have been created when Father removed the sin of envy from his body; therefore, the homunculus should be pure jealousy, nothing else.
But he wasn't.
Most of his emotions weren't positive, it was true. But he had them, especially helpings of the other sins Father had removed. True, he was mostly envious, but he also had pride; the homunculus hated to lose at anything. Wrath, definitely; his taste for revenge was strong. And Envy had experienced lust; who hadn't? Greed and envy went hand in hand. You could, perhaps, even say that he was gluttonous, if gorging himself with sadism and other's pain counted as gluttony.
The only sin Envy didn't seem to possess was sloth. He was a fairly energetic homunculus, actually, and hated being bored.
And that list was just the other sins Envy could relate with. The emotion he was most concerned with was enjoyment. Happiness. Contentment.
Every time he got something he had desired, Envy felt a strong and distinct sense of elation. When he ate something delicious, even though eating was not something he had to do to stay alive, he was content. And Envy loved to taunt people—especially the Fullmetal pipsqueak—it gave him such satisfaction to make people squirm or get angry. Rage, that was another one; sometimes the homunculus became so furious he couldn't see straight.
Plus, he couldn't forget the longing to…belong to someone, revolting as it was. Envy didn't even have a name he could put to that one.
So what did all of this mean?
Sometimes the emotions, stupid mortal feelings, inside him made Envy hate himself. For such a tough, humanity-bashing homunculus, he considered himself very weak, and it seemed he was getting more and more pathetic by the day.
Even, sometimes, by the minute.
Usually, Envy dealt with this frustration and confusion by going out to harass people in whatever town he was posted in. Sometimes that meant killing a few civilians. But today, the homunculus just couldn't work up the strength to redirect his hatred, and so the homunculus found himself simply lying on the top of some building in Central, despising himself.
Envy almost wished for a repeat of the incident a week ago. Getting to fight that Ishbalan, Scar, would be a welcome reprieve from his thoughts. Even having to deal with the shrimp would be better than this, especially if the homunculus got to taunt him about his little obsessions. Envy almost managed to muster up a smile at the thought of how crazy the Fullmetal Pipsqueak would be if he saved him twice.
Pulling at his long hair in frustration, pulling until it actually caused a twinge of pain, Envy brought himself back down. Back to reality. There was no fight, no opportunity to save the shorty again, though he did have to file that thought away for later.
There was just the homunculus and his hellish emotions.
Envy briefly considered stopping by the shrimp's hotel room, not even going in, just looking in the window to see how the Fullmetal pipsqueak was doing…but no. If he didn't get back to Father soon, he would be missed. And the homunculus did not want to deal with his questions and slight, silent anger…Envy swore the man knew something about his growing feelings toward…well, everything.
"Dammit." The homunculus swore as he rose to his feet and jumped off the roof.
Damn Father for creating him, damn humans for making him so jealous, damn other emotions for existing, and most of all, damn himself for being unable to do a thing about any of it.