Author's Note: Hey guys! I would just like to say thank you for the reviews. They mean a lot! If you have any ideas or anything you want slipped into the story, let me know and I'm sure I can work something out.
"Are you here for Olivia Benson?" Alex watched in horror as the doctor made his way through the doors.
Jumping up she met the doctor halfway into the room with Cragen not too far behind.
"Hello, I am Doctor Michael Johnson. I have treated Ms. Benson since her arrival." Doctor Johnson shook each other their hands.
"Hello, I'm Donald Cragen. This is Alexandra Cabot." Cragen spoke, knowing Alex wouldn't even begin to get any kind of words out at this point.
If you would, please follow me. I would like to discuss this in a private room." Doctor Johnson led them into a small room with a table.
Sitting across the table from Alex and Cragen Doctor Johnson pulled out Olivia's file.
"Ms. Benson is currently in critical condition. At this point myself and our medical staff have done what we could. I would suggest having her air lifted to Mt. Sinai in New York. We have her stable but they are far more equipped to deal with the care she needs. She's in a very bad place right now." The doctor looks up at the two across the table.
"What are her chances of making it through?" Alex barely spoke above a whisper.
"At this point, we are unsure. For the next 48 hours I only give her roughly a 30 percent chance. After that her chances of survival go up depending on her condition. I stand by what I said about going to a larger hospital." Looking through the file the doctor pulled out a few pages. "These are the releases and more medical information. Mr. Cragen you are listed as her power of attorney."
Cragen nodded and read over the papers. "How risky is it to transfer Olivia?" He looked up at the doctor.
"As long as everyone follows proper procedures nothing should cause her condition to decline." Doctor Johnson closed the file back up.
Alex sat there trying to get her thoughts processed. She couldn't lose Olivia. She just got her. There is no way she would live through losing her. She may not have been the one that pulled the trigger but she felt responsible for Olivia laying there fighting for her life.
"Can I see her?" Alex spoke up again and took a deep breath.
"You may but only for a short period of time. We need to get her ready to be transferred. I am going to warn you now, there are multiple tubes and wires right now. It's not pretty. We have sedated her currently and she is in a coma." The doctor stood up. "I can take you back there, one at a time. You must scrub in and I'm giving you each ten minutes."
"Thank you." Alex didn't have much to say. Her mind was going in a million directions.
The trio walked through double doors where they both were given a gown to change into. As Cragen went in, Alex sat on the bench and cried. She begged and pleaded for God not to talk Olivia. Alex's head snapped up when she heard the door open. She went and scrubbed in before walking into Olivia's room. Her heart shattered when she looked at Olivia's body laying in the bed, hooked up to so many machines. She went to Olivia and took her hand in hers. A few tears slipped down her face.
"Olivia, I need you to fight. I need you to prove to everyone you're as strong as I know you are. I need you." Alex gently squeezed Olivia's hand and leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Stay with me, Liv." Alex whispered into Olivia's ear. She pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and sat there. She didn't have long but she wasn't leaving until they made her. Sitting there, she held Olivia's hand and watched her. The only sounds in the room came from the machines. The door opening caused Alex to jump and look back. The nurse was letting her know she needed to go.
"I love you, Liv. I'll see you when we're back home. I promise not to leave your side." Alex kissed her head and headed for the door. She was trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall once again.
After getting out of the gown, Cragen was sitting in the waiting room. She crumbled into his arms when she got to him.
"Let's get your things, and get you back to the city. Olivia should be settled in at the hospital by the time we get there." Cragen pulled away as Alex dried her tears. Only response she gave was a small nod.
The whole way back to the cabin and down to the city Alex was completely quiet. Staring out the window all of the time herself and Olivia spent together. She knew in her heart that Olivia would fight. It's what's in her. She is too stubborn to give up.
As the two neared the city, Alex was once again trying to maintain her composure. She kept thinking that above everything she needed to stay strong. She couldn't be a wreck while Olivia was the one fighting like hell just to be able to take a breath without a machine.
After getting direction as to where they needed to go when they got to the hospital, the two made their way to ICU. Following the same instructions as before, they were suited up and made to scrub in before entering the room. Even though she had seen Olivia back at the hospital Alex still gasped as she saw her. Both of them taking a seat on each side of the bed.
"Would you like some alone time with her, Alex?" Cragen stood up and took Olivia's hand in his. "I'm going to check in at the precinct. I have a few things that I would like to say to the scum bag that is responsible for this."
"You're talking to the one responsible for it now. If Olivia wouldn't have came to my apartment when she did, she wouldn't have been shot. None of this would have happened." Alex barely spoke above a whisper.
"No Alex. You aren't to blame for this. Olivia was doing what she loved doing. Especially for the woman she loves. She would do it all over again if it meant protecting you. Being shot and all." Cragen went to put his arm around Alex's shoulders.
"I just can't help but feel like it's my fault." Alex looked down at the floor.
"But it isn't. You aren't to blame. I hope you soon realize that. You can't tear yourself up over this Alex. It will destroy you." Cragen patted Alex's shoulder lightly. "I'll be back up here later, okay?"
"Thank you." Alex looked up at the man and sighed. Maybe he was right but right now nothing was going to replace the guilt until she knew for sure Olivia would pull though.
As Cragen walked out of the room, Alex sighed. She wasn't leaving Olivia's side until she left the hospital. Taking Olivia's hand back into her own, she leaned down and kissed it.
"I need to see your big brown eyes Olivia. I need to hear you tell me you love me. I just need you to wake up." Alex started talking to Olivia. She knew in her heart she could hear her.
Alex jumped when the door opened. Looking back she saw a doctor walk in.
"Hello, I'm doctor Saundra Martinez." The female doctor held her hand out to shake Alex's.
"Alexandra Cabot. Is there anything new you can tell me about her condition?" Alex stood in front of the doctor, glancing at Olivia.
"Well, for starters I would just like you say that Ms. Benson here should pull through. Unless complication arise. Her vitals are the strongest I've seen since I started here nearly fifteen years ago. I've never seen anything like it after a gunshot wound to the chest. I'll definitely be keeping her on the machine for 48 hours. After that we can start slowly getting her off others. She's not completely out of the woods but she's getting there." The doctor wrote something on Olivia's chart and went over to the bed.
"So she's going to be okay?"
"She'll live through it. But that's not to say there won't be a long road of recovery ahead of her. We'll be taking her off the machines but as far as when she wakes up is all on her own time. I'll be back in to check on her in about a hour. Does she have any family we can contact?"
"She doesn't have any blood family. Our squad are the only people in her life she considers as family. As far as giving information I would like it to be kept between myself and Don Cragen. We can pass on the information from here." Alex ran her hand through her hair. She was trying to keep herself together.
"Thank you Ms. Cabot. I will let you know of any updates I have." The doctor turned towards the door without another word.
Alex sat there for a while as she lost track of time. She went between talking to Olivia and just sitting there staring at her. This time she didn't even acknowledge the doctor's presence when she entered the room. She knew that everything was still the same. The day continued on and Alex had followed the same routine. The last time the doctor came in, she was awoken by a hand on her shoulder. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on Olivia's bed still holding her hand.
"We normally do not allow someone to stay here in the rooms with our patients. Due to this particular case, I will allow you to stay. But if anything happens you will be asked to leave the room. There is a chair now over there for you to sleep in. It reclines back into a bed. It may not be the most comfortable thing, but it definitely beats sitting up in these chairs like you are." Doctor Martinez pointed to the corner and patted Alex's shoulder. "I was warned that you weren't going to leave earlier by your captain. Apparently you are just as stubborn as your detective counter part."
"Cragen was here?" Alex waited to reply to the rest of her statement. She didn't remember seeing him.
"He was here for a while. You were out. My shift is over and Doctor Allen Collins will be here for the night shift. I'll be back in the morning. I just wanted to check in before I left Ms. Cabot."
"I appreciate it doctor. Also, we will be seeing a lot of each other over the next- well however long it would be. Please, call me Alex." Alex stretched and stood up. She felt like she had been hit by a truck, her body was extremely stiff.
"As you wish ma'am. I promise we will be taking good care of Detective Benson. I'll see you tomorrow, Alex." With that she headed to the door and smiled.
"Again, thank you. I'll see you in the morning." Alex walked over to the window and looked out. It was already dark out and she was completely drained.
Alex was still staring out at the window when she heard the door open about fifteen minutes later. She expected to see a doctor walk in. Instead Cragen was back.
When he walked in he gave Alex a small smile. "You've got to be going crazy in here by yourself."
"A little. But I'm not leaving. Not until she does." Alex turned and leaned again the window.
"Anything I can get for you? Food, a certain book, maybe a pen and some paper?"
"All of that actually sounds nice. There's a book in the top drawer at the office. And a sketchbook underneath that. I appreciate it captain."
"I can arrange for Casey to get that and bring it to the precinct. Everyone is asking if they can come see her." Cragen pulled a chair over to the bed.
"It's not necessarily my call, but I would prefer they didn't overload Olivia. When they take the breathing tube out and I know she's going to be breathing on her own and strong enough to fight it, they can come as they please. But know I'm not leaving." Alex took a seat in her chair and took Olivia's hand.
"It's understandable Alex. And I know you're not going to leave her side. She's fighting and we both know why. She loves you counselor. She has for a while. Not that she would ever admit it to anyone before. Everyone knows it."
Alex couldn't help but smile as she heard the words come out of his mouth. "She's such a strong woman. It's her stubborn hard headed nature. She would never go down without a fight."
Alex stifled a yawn and squeezed Olivia's hand. "They'll be taking her off the machine tomorrow afternoon. Is there any way you could get those few items and some clothes for me. I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot."
"Alex I asked you what you needed. I'll make it happen." Cragen stood up and grabbed his coat. "I'll be here in the morning. Unless a case pops up. It has been relatively quiet around the squad room here lately."
"I appreciate it." Alex smiled. She wasn't used to seeing this side of Cragen. He was a lot different outside of work.
"See you in the morning Alex."
Alex watched as he left and sighed. Once again the only sounds that filled the room were that of the machines hooked up to Olivia.
She went and pulled the reclining chair next to Olivia's bed but far enough away so that the medical staff could reach her. Getting in the chair, she curled up under the blanket she was provided and watched Olivia's chest rise and fall as she slowly fell asleep.
Oh I would also like to say thank you to Mariskafan2364 and keonquil you both have stuck with me and continued to review... Even if I fell off the face of the planet for a month. I appreciate you guys SO much.