A/N
Always thank to wildfores :)
I hope you like this chapter. It's a little too long maybe, I thought to split it in two but I think it's better to take the thing together.
Chapter 7: The same thing
Tegan lay in her bunk unable to fall asleep. She passed the night listening to the sounds around her. Listening to Sara. That was one of the things that kept her awake. Her sister was in the farthest bunk in the bus, but she heard her moan and cry. She knew her sister was having nightmares. At some point Sara woke up panting, and Tegan wanted to go to her but she didn't. She waited until she could hear her sister fall asleep again, and then she went to her bunk. She pulled the curtains slowly, trying not to make a sound. Her sister was lying here, covered in sweat, soft moans escaping her lips. The sight made Tegan's heart skip, something that lately had been happening quite often. She moved her hand into the bunk, wiping the sweat from Sara's forehead, also moving her damp hair off of her face. She couldn't tell if her sister had a fever or something, she didn't seemed hot. Maybe they were just the bad dreams. She looked at her for a minute before pulling back the curtains again, and went back to her bunk. When she was into her bunk again, a soft voice came from below.
"How is she?" Lindsey concerned voice reached her. Tegan leaned out to look at her.
"I don't know," Tegan responded honestly, looking at her. They looked at each other for few seconds.
"May I?" Tegan asked, there was no need to say anything else. Lindsey smiled to her, and she crouched against the wall to give space to Tegan.
Tegan lay next to her girlfriend. After a couple of minutes, she felt Lindsey's lips on her neck. Tegan turned to meet her eyes and Lindsey gave her a sweet kiss on her lips. They looked at each other for a moment, Lindsey's gaze slipped to Tegan lips before kiss her again. Her kiss was more passionate this time, and soon her hands were on Tegan's body. Tegan pushed Lindsey away, gently, trying not to upset her too much.
"What?" Lindsey asked, she was sad again, and Tegan blamed herself once more.
"Nothing, it's just... I'm not in the mood, and someone could hear us," she said. She really wanted to make Lindsey happy, but it wasn't the right night. Her mind was on her sister. Lindsey tried a little smile.
"May I cuddle you?" Tegan asked, suddenly feeling awkward to ask that to the girl she rejected just a moment ago.
"I would love it," Lindsey said, turning herself.
Tegan put her arm around Lindsey's waist, pulling her to embrace her tighter. She found comfortable the warm sensation of Lindsey body into her arms. She breathed deeply to catch her scent. Before falling asleep, she felt Lindsey body tremble, fighting to suffocate her sobs. Lindsey was so sweet, one of the sweetest girl she had ever met, and Tegan knew she was hurting her.
"I love you..." Lindsey said, almost whispering.
"I love you too," Tegan replied after a moment, kissing Lindsey's nape.
Sara woke up after only four hours of sleep. They were still on the road. She looked at her cellphone to see the time. She felt tired much as she did the night before, her night was rough, her mind filled with thoughts that Orpheus plasmid into nightmares as soon he had embraced Sara. She didn't remember a things about those nightmares, but she remember that at some point, in the night, she woke up suddenly, sweat all over her body and her lungs fighting to catch air. For a moment she thought she might need her puffer, but in a matter of seconds, she caught her breath again. She was so exhausted that in a couples of minutes she was asleep again. But her sleep was restless. And now she felt tired and sick. She went to the bathroom to refresh her face, and then she went to the refrigerator to have a glass of water. She felt better almost instantly. It was still dark outside and there was at least another hour drive. She went back to the bathroom with a clean shirt, and changed it because the one she was sleeping with was too damp. When she was on her way back to her bunk, she saw that the curtains of Tegan's one were open. She went there and saw that the bunk was empty, she looked down and she saw her sister in Lindsey's bunk. The curtains weren't completely closed so she saw them. Her sister embracing Lindsey. She closed the curtains and went back to her own bunk to sleep a little more.
When Sara woke up again, it was ten in the morning. She stepped out of her bunk just to see that the other bunks were all empty. When she went to the kitchen she saw that Tegan was the only one on the bus. Tegan raised her head to meet her look. Sara smiled weakly then she turned to go to the bathroom.
Tegan filled a mug with coffee for her sister. When Sara came out from the bathroom, she sat at the table, across from Tegan and Tegan handed her the mug. Sara smiled at her, taking the mug and bringing it to her lips, taking a little sip.
"Thank you," she said to Tegan, looking at her whilst taking another little sip of coffee.
"You're welcome," Tegan said.
"How are you?" Tegan asked to Sara after a couple of minutes of silence.
"I'm fine, I had a problem sleeping," she said to Tegan.
"Yes I know," Tegan said absentmindedly. Sara gave her a questioning look.
"I... I heard you last night. You were moaning in your sleep so I checked on you," Tegan said looking at Sara only for a moment. There was a long silence.
"Where are the others?" Sara asked awkwardly.
"The guys are hanging out. Lindsey and Stacy went out for breakfast, they're gonna bring back something to eat. They'll be back soon I guess," Tegan said, looking at her.
"And you? Why are you still here?" Sara asked without thinking, and she regretted it, "I mean... I don't mind."
"I thought you were sick and I didn't want to leave you alone," Tegan said seriously, looking Sara straight into her eyes. Sara blushed at the intensity of her gaze. She smiled, but her smile faded away soon, when her sister didn't smiled back.
"I'm ok, you don't need to stay here if you don't want to," Sara said in a firmest tone.
Tegan gave her an emotionless look. Her blood was starting to boil in her veins. Sara could see that, and she didn't piss off her sister intentionally, but her feelings were swinging as her mood. On one hand she wanted to make up with her sister, but on the other she couldn't help but still feel hurt.
Tegan went to take something from her suitcase, and then she went to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. Staring at the mirror, she saw her sister's sad eyes looking back at her. She hated that, sharing similar features with someone. They were not that identical, but in time like this, it was easy for her mind to play tricks on her. She turned around and wore the clothes she casually picked up. A pair of black skinny jeans and a simple over-sized t-shirt. She went out from the bathroom in the same moment Stacy and Lindsey came back into the bus.
Tegan smiled at Lindsey and went toward her to place a little kiss on her lips. Lindsey smiled back, and Tegan saw her sister shift uncomfortably on the chair. She looked at Sara for one moment than she looked again at Lindsey.
"Do you wonna go for a walk?" she asked at Lindsey, smiling at her.
"Sure," she answered, taking Tegan by the hand and leading the way out.
"See you later, guys," Tegan said, locking her eyes with Sara, whom responded with a nod.
As soon as Lindsey and Tegan were out of the bus, Stacy sat near Sara. She looked at her with bit of concern.
"Are you ok?" she asked Sara, touching her forehead to move away a strand of hair, "You look tired," she added.
"Yeah I'm fine, I didn't sleep very well," Sara said, looking at Stacy whilst took another sip from her mug.
"Eat something, you'll feel better," she said, opening the box she had placed on the table. Sara smiled at the sight of the donuts into the box. She took one with pink frosting.
"Thank you babe..." she said, leaning in and kissing quickly Stacy with her mouth still full of food.
"Gross!" Stacy said jokingly, then she licked her own lips. "You're so sweet," she said and they both laughed.
Tegan and Lindsey went to a little playground a few blocks away from the bus. They held hands along the way but they didn't talk. They sat on a bench and Lindsey leaned her head on Tegan's shoulder. Tegan kissed the top of her head.
"How are you?" Lindsey asked to Tegan.
"I'm fine," she answered, but her voice was tired. Lindsey raised her head to look at her.
"Why you keep saying that?" she asked, and Tegan turned to face her. "I know you're not fine."
"Then don't ask if you don't like the answer," Tegan said a little annoyed. Lindsey looked at her hurt and pissed.
"Whatever," she said standing up. Tegan took Lindsey by her wrist, pulling her on her lap.
"I'm sorry," Tegan said, giving a small kiss on the cheek to her girlfriend.
"I would really like you to talk to me," Lindsey said to her, looking intently into her eyes, "You are so distant Tegan, and I feel so useless and hopeless," she continued, her eyes watering.
"I'm losing you," Lindsey added, she didn't intend it like a question, even if sounded that way.
Tegan felt her heart fall. She was hurting one of sweetest girls she had ever met. With her stupid thoughts and incomprehensible feelings toward her sister, she was fucking up her relationship. The one she worked so hard to obtain.
"No babe, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," Tegan said, and she asked herself if it was true.
She really wanted that words to be true, but if her sister... if her sister would accept her feelings, what she would do? But she was fucking up her relationship with her sister too. And now they were just hitting each other. That trail of thought brought her to the scene she saw the day before, her sister with Stacy. Her guts clinched.
"I hope it's true, I don't want to lose you, I love you," the sound of Lindsey voice tore Tegan from her thoughts.
"I'm just a little stressed," Tegan said trying to smile.
After a moment Lindsey leaned in. Their lips met, and Tegan smiled into the kiss. She felt Lindsey tongue brushing slightly on her bottom lips. She opened her mouth and they tongues met. Tegan loved the feel of Lindsey's soft and warm tongue massaging hers.
"Maybe I could help you with that," Lindsey said with a grin.
"We could talk about this tonight," Tegan said with a grin on her face.
"With all the time we have... you want to talk TONIGHT? I hate your timing babe, " she said pouting.
They both laughed thinking that they had to spend the night into an hotel, and that they would had a little time to spend together, alone.
"May I ask you out for lunch?" Tegan said jokingly to Lindsey.
"I'd love to," Lindsey answered.
They stood up from their seat and walked away. Lindsey felt better. She didn't get a word out of Tegan about what was bothering her that much, even if she had an idea about the subject. But she was just happy because that was the first time in days that she felt Tegan's sweetness again. She had missed her so much and even if it was a little gesture, it was a start.
Tegan was happy to see her Lindsey smiling again, a real smile, from the depths of her heart. She hadn't noticed, until then, that so much time had passed since the last time she had saw that kind of smile on Lindsey face. She blamed herself for that. Lately, there were a lot of things she blamed herself about.
Sara sipped her coffee slowly, enjoying the taste and the warmth of the dark liquid. She turned on the TV and sat near Stacy on the couch. They didn't talk, and Sara barely looked at her. Her mind was on Tegan. She really wanted to fix things up, but every time she managed to piss her off instead. She didn't know if she did it on purpose or not. But if she did, she didn't know why. There was nothing she wanted more that to be close to her sister again, but on the other hand she was scared about that. She was scared she would lose control if she got too close. She was scared about her feelings and about Tegan's feelings. The whole situation was driving her crazy. But she had her Stacy with her, the dam that held her feelings from spilling and destroying everything.
Sara turn to face the girl. She smiled sweetly at her, and she felt very grateful to have her by her side right now. At the bottom of her heart she knew that she was only a distraction from her true feelings, but as long as Stacy was there, she could pretend she loved her like she did at the beginning of their relationship. Even if she knew she didn't ever have her whole heart, she loved her very much. She still loved her but things had changed that damn night, the night Tegan kissed her, the night she lost her war with her attempt to avoid her feelings. Years of fighting and her sister's lips defeated her, with one shot.
She looked at Stacy intently, she needed her right now to erase her sister from her mind. Stacy smiled at her as her cheeks turned pink under Sara's gaze. Even if they have been together for more then an year and a half, sometime Stacy felt shy under Sara's intense look.
Sara put her mug on the table, then took the one from Stacy's hand and did the same ting, always looking at her. Sara took one of Stacy's hand and pulled gently to help her to stand up. They stood together, Sara's hands on Stacy hips and Stacy's arms at her own sides. Stacy smiled putting her hands on Sara's shoulder, but her smile faded away when she saw the seriousness into Sara's eyes. They looked at each other for a long minute before Sara leaned in to kiss Stacy. The kiss started slowly, but then Sara started to kiss Stacy hungrily and almost angrily. Stacy knew that in that moment Sara was kissing her not to show her some kind of affection but for something else.
Sara felt the need to touch Stacy, to kiss her, to let Stacy erase images and thoughts about Tegan. That thought made her sick to her stomach for a second, but then she decided to just drown herself into Stacy. She kissed Stacy hard, and Stacy moaned into her mouth. The two moved toward the bunks and Sara laid Stacy down slowly into her bunks, and then topped her. It wasn't a comfortable position, she was bended and her shoulder and the back of her head touching the roof of the bunk. Sara started to move slowly on Stacy, that was completely dressed, but Sara was still wearing her pajama, and the friction she gain through the tiny fabric turned her on. She lowered her head and her lips met Sacy's ones once again, she kissed her passionately. Stacy's hands went to Sara's hair, pulling her even closer. Sara was stroking Stacy's sides till with one movement she moved the shirt up, dragging Stacy's bra too. She didn't bothered to remove the clothes, as soon Stacy's chest was free, she attacked it with her mouth, leaving the two pieces of clothes just under Stacy's throat.
"Sara," Stacy moaned as Sara took her left nipple into her mouth, sucking it and teasing it with the tip of her tongue.
Sara looked at her in the eyes whilst sliding her head to Stacy's right nipple to circle it with her tongue.
"What if.." Stacy was trying to speak, but she stopped when she felt Sara's hand sliding down to unbutton her jeans.
"What if someone come... if your sister come back?" she managed to say out of breath. Sara stopped her hands for a moment.
"Can you please not talk about Tegan while we are fucking?" Sara said with an annoyed tone, but her hips were still moving against Stacy.
"I'm sorry," Stacy said, sliding a hand to the back of Sara's head to pull her in for a deep kiss.
"It's ok, it just... she's the last person I want to think about during sex," Sara said, and Stacy smiled into the kiss. Sara was talking mostly to herself, but now Tegan was the only thing she could think about. Sara closed her eyes and put her forehead on Stacy's shoulder, and a moment later she started to bite at Stacy's neck. She slid her hand again, slipping it into Stacy's pants. She circled her swollen button for a moment, teasingly. When she finally slowly slid two fingers into Stacy, Stacy raised her hips pressing hard into Sara. Sara unconsciously raised her head abruptly, and her cry of pleasure began one of pain when her head hit hard on the bunk above.
"FUCK!" She yelled as she lost her balance for a moment and she fell out of the bunk. They were on the bottom one so she didn't hurt herself falling.
"Jesus Christ... are you ok," Stacy asked looking at her. They looked at each other for a moment and then they burst into laughter.
"Shit, I almost cracked my head open," Sara said laughing whilst massaging her head.
Stacy reached out of the bunk buttoning her jeans, and put down her t-shirt, and then she helped Sara up from the floor. She took Sara in her arms for a moment, softly rubbing Sara's back as Sara was still massaging her head. Stacy gave a peck on her lips.
"Turn," Stacy said to Sara, freeing her from her embrace. Sara turned and hissed when Stacy's fingers touched her head.
"I'm sorry," Stacy said apologetically.
"It's ok," Sara said, and after a moment she asked "it's ok, right?"
"Yeah, you will survive," Stacy said laughing, "maybe we should put something on your little, cute head," she add.
They went back to the main room, and Stacy took some ice as Sara sat on the couch. Stacy placed the ice into a towel and handed it to Sara that placed it on her head. After a few minutes Sara stood up from her seat.
"I'll take a shower... we can go for a walk and then eat something if you like," Sara said to Stacy.
"Sounds good," she answered, smiling at her.
It was around three when Tegan and Lindsey came back. They went directly to the venue where they were supposed to met with the rest of the band for sound check and for refresh a couple of old songs. They had decided to revamp some old songs, different songs for every show to give something special to their fans.
They went for the back door of the venue. When they were there, Lindsey gave a little kiss to Tegan.
"See you later," Lindsey said, smiling at Tegan.
"Where are you going?" Tegan asked confused.
"To hang out with your fans obviously," she said, smirking.
She always loved to do that. Sometimes only few people recognized her, sometimes more than just few. But they were always polite and gentle and she had the chance to talk with them. She found the fact that people asked her to take pictures funny. She was basically Tegan's girlfriend for the most of them, but people liked her and treated her very nicely, and fans always thought that she was a good person. No one ever asked personal question about her relationship with Tegan. They were just happy to have the chance to talk with somebody they knew was near the band, maybe just to feel the illusion to get a little closer. Sometimes she found someone who really appreciated her work as photographer and she took her time to talk with them about the subject. In any case, she always had a good time with fans.
Tegan entered the venue and went straight to the dresser room. Here she found the guys, and her sister with Stacy. She talked with the guys for a little before they went on stage for sound check and rehearsal. They picked up I wake up exhausted and Downtown, they had already talked and prepared the rearrangement so they took their time to made things good, without rushing it.
When they finished, they went back to the dress room, and Tegan sat on the couch. Sara took a seat near the table, and took a bottle of water to drink. Stacy reached for her and put her hands on Sara's shoulder from behind. She spoke into Sara's ears so Tegan wasn't able to hear what she said, but a moment later Sara smiled and Stacy kissed softly on Sara's head. Sara winced then she playful elbowed Stacy's side.
Tegan was surprised to find herself smiling. Seeing her sister smiling and laughing made her feel happy. And she was surprised to see that the two girls were so close. She didn't expect that. Tegan thought that their relationship wasn't good anymore, but the sight of her sister in that moment told her differently. Even if lately they start to fight often, it was nice to see them doing good together. And Tegan was happy for them even if something in Tegan's guts burned at the thought. Something deep inside of her was screaming, she felt a hint of jealousy forming and she felt so stupid and bad about that.
In that moment she saw Stacy looking at her, her face was serious and she gave Tegan a look that Tegan wasn't able to decipher entirely. It was something like a mix of resentment, fear and anger. That look make her feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with Stacy, and with her own feelings.
Stacy left Sara's side and went to the bathroom. Tegan followed her with her eyes, and when she closed the door, she looked back at her sister again. Sara stood up and went toward the couch. In the moment she sat, Tegan stood up and went to take a sip of water from the same bottle Sara used few minutes before. Sara sighed, abandoning her back on the backrest. When her head touched the backrest she hissed, and when Tegan looked at her, she was massaging her head.
"Are you ok?" Tegan asked, looking at her questioningly.
"Yeah, I had a little accident this morning," Sara answered, now looking at her sister.
"What happened?" Tegan said, and she saw her sister shift a little uncomfortable on the couch.
"Nothing... I just... hit my head in the bunk," she said as her cheeks were turning slightly pink.
When she had left her with Stacy in the bus, Sara was perfectly fine, so her mind wondered for a moment at the various scenarios that could have lead her sister to hurt. But as soon as some images came up to her mind, she shook her head.
"Let me take a look," Tegan said looking at her sister as she was reaching her. She went to the back of the couch.
"It's nothing," Sara said, trying to raise up from her seat. But in that moment she felt Tegan's hand touch her shoulder gently.
"Please," Tegan said, and it sounded almost as a question. As she was sitting again, she felt Tegan thumb caressing her nape. She wasn't sure if Tegan did it on purpose or if was just a thing happened in the motion, but goosebumps raised on the back of her neck, there was no chance to avoid that, and no chance that Tegan wouldn't notice that. She felt embarrassed once more.
The guys were talking and having fun, so no one was paying attention to them, and no one saw Sara's face turn pink again when her sister touched her.
"Where?" Tegan asked to Sara, and Sara moved her hand touching a spot in the back of her head. When she removed her hand from her head, for a moment it brushed with Tegan ones. She felt so stupid and cursed herself for the effect that every little touch from her sister had on her. She was coursing herself because she knew she was craving for more.
Sara felt her sister hand playing with her hair for a moment whilst she was searching for sign of injuries. Tegan touched her head so softly and gently that she didn't felt any pain.
"Yeah there is a bump and a little excoriation, but you will survive," she said softly. Sara could feel the smile on Tegan face even if she couldn't see her. Tegan hands indulged for a moment in Sara's hair, loving the sensation of her hair slipping through her fingers. Sara felt relaxed under Tegan's touch.
In that moment the door opened and Lindsey entered the room.
Tegan turned her head at the sound of the door opening, and when her eyes met Lindsey's, she saw again that veil of sadness covering them for a moment as Lindsey's eyes went to Tegan's hands in Sara's eyes hair, before they went back to look at Tegan again. Tegan jerked away and in that motion she hit Sara's head making her scream. Lindsey looks turn worried when she heard Sara. Tegan turned again a saw Sara massaging her head.
"I'm so sorry Sara," she said rushing out the words. She put her hands on Sara's shoulders and bent a little, "I didn't meant to hurt you," she added.
"She's ok," a voice came behind them said, and they all turned to look at Stacy. Even the boys were looking at them, drawn by the Sara's cry.
"What happened to her?" Lindsey asked softly.
"Nothing, I'm ok," Sara said, rising from her seat.
"She had a little accident when we were... having fun," Stacy said, and when her words slipped from her mouth, she looked directly into Tegan's eyes. There was something into that look that bothered Tegan. There was tension in the room, and that was what Sara wanted to avoid.
"C'mon, shut up," Sara jokingly said, poking Stacy with her hand in attempt to ease the tension in the room.
Discomfort was written all over Sara's face, and when her sister turned her head to face her, she couldn't help herself but feel a little ashamed, and her cheeks turned to slight pink again. Sara knew perfectly that there was bad blood between her sister and Stacy, but it didn't happen often to see them together in that kind of situation, and that scared Sara, made her nervous.
Tegan just turned away to go to the bathroom without a word. Tegan looked at herself into the mirror, a sigh escaped her lips. She was a bundle of nerves due to Lindsey, due to Stacy, due to her sister. She was abandoning herself just touching her sister hair. She didn't ever really had the occasion to do such a thing before, and she felt nervous for a stupid thing like that. But she couldn't help herself, touching her sister gave her shivers. And a moment later, Lindsey eyes were there, looking at her, making her feel guilty and even dirty. And then Stacy, even if things seemed to go better between Sara and Stacy Stacy was always nervous and bitchy around Tegan, and that too made Tegan nervous. And few moment ago, with the four of them in the same room with her mind on her sister, it was too much. She didn't knew if she could have handled it much longer.
When she come out from the bathroom, Lindsey was talking with John in a corner whilst Sara and Stacy were talking with the other boys. Tegan went to Lindsey and they chatted a couple of minutes together till John left them alone. They talked a little but Tegan knew that Lindsey was stressed and tired and probably unhappy, and that wasn't helping with her sense of guilt.
When they were called on stage, Tegan gave Lindsey a sweet kiss before following the others. The show went well even if they didn't banter at all. But the crowd was pleased with the music, and they had to admit, they sounded very good in despite of all the things that were happening.
Tegan barely looked at her sister during the whole show, instead she tried to make eye contact with Lindsey that was under the stage taking photos, but it was like Lindsey was avoiding that, and the only time she was facing Tegan, was with a camera on her face.
Lindsey and Tegan went straight to the hotel after the show as the other went out for a drink. Sara asked them to go with them but Tegan wanted to spend some time with Lindsey alone, and she didn't want to stay in the presence of Stacy if it wasn't absolutely inevitable.
They went to their room, and they didn't talk too much on the way. There was something like an awkward feeling between them. Tegan knew that Lindsey wasn't stupid, she was a really sensitive and sensible girl even if she looked a little tough sometimes, and that was one of the things that she always loved about her. But that also meant that it was easy for Lindsey to read Tegan's feelings. She probably wouldn't know the full truth, because it would be hard for Lindsey to read something that wasn't really out there, to read something that she couldn't really imagine, at least, that was what Tegan was saying to herself. Tegan was trying so hard to hide her feelings deep inside that every time they threatened to surface, she felt surprised and angry and guilty. But Lindsey surely sensed something and every time Tegan was met with her worried look, she felt even more guilty. Her own confusion was killing her. She couldn't deny there were feelings, not after she had kissed her sister. But she was trying not to lose Lindsey as well. Lindsey has always been good to her, she was caring and sweet, and sometimes when she was with her, she felt safe from herself, from her own feelings. But lately it became harder to be with her, because Lindsey looked more and more unhappy. Tegan thought was the time to make her feel happy again. She wasn't ready to lose her.
"Hei Linds, do you wonna watch a movie?" Tegan asked to her.
"Sure," she answered, even if she sounded tired.
Tegan took the remote and turned on the TV as Lindsey took her laptop and her camera and sat with Tegan on the bed.
"I thought you would watch something with me," Tegan said as Lindsey crossed her legs and connected the camera to the laptop.
"It will just take few minutes," Lindsey said without looking at Tegan.
"Which means you could do it tomorrow," Tegan said, placing a hand on Lindsey knee.
Lindsey faced her for the first time since she entered the room. She could see that Tegan felt sorry, and she was almost pleading her, with her look. Lindsey smiled weakly at her.
"Ok," she said, her voice was softer than before.
She took her camera and laptop and put them on the table before going back to the bed. She sat near Tegan, their backs leaning against the headboard of the bed. Lindsey sat with her legs crossed, her hands on her lap. Tegan was surfing through channels to find something. At least she found something that seemed nice, and she stopped. After fifteen minutes she felt Lindsey shift next to her, she looked at her and she saw tiredness in her eyes. Tegan took Lindsey hand, interweaving their fingers. Lindsey looked at her smiling then she turned again to watch the screen. Less then ten minutes later, she felt Lindsey head leaning on her shoulder, her eyes were closed even if she was still gently stroking her thumb on her hand. Tegan had planned something different for the night, but she felt her heart skip a bit at the sweetness of Lindsey touch, and at the little smile Lindsey had on her face in her half asleep state. Tegan turned Lindsey's face with her free hand and gave a soft kiss on the lips, then on her nose. Lindsey opened her eyes smiling.
"Are you tired? Do you wonna sleep?" Tegan asked to Lindsey smiling.
"Yeas, It's a good idea," Lindsey said as she stood up to go to the bathroom.
Tegan undressed herself to her underwear, and when she heard the faucet being opened into the bathroom she joined her girlfriend and they brushed their teeth together then went back to bed. As Tegan lay down on bed, Lindsey undressed and joined Tegan. Tegan reached the remote to shut off the TV.
"No, we could watch it a little more," Lindsey said, and she smiled at Tegan. Lindsey was really tired but she was enjoying the affection Tegan was giving to her, and this time Tegan was there with her body and her mind. Lately Lindsey felt that Tegan was far away with her mind when they were together. But tonight she was there with her, completely, honestly, and that was something she really needed.
"I've missed you," Lindsey said, and her honest and pained tone hit Tegan right into her guts. And now she wanted to fix her.
"I'm sorry," Tegan said, helping Lindsey to lay down and guiding her head on her chest, then Tegan began to stroke gently her hair.
"I love you, Tegan," Lindsey said, Tegan froze for a moment and she thought if Lindsey had heard her heart skipping a bit at her words. Lindsey shifted her head to face her and Tegan took her face into her hands and gently kissed her, without saying a word. The kiss was sweet, slow, and soon Lindsey broke it to look Tegan into her eyes.
"Do you love me?" Lindsey asked, and she felt so embarrassed when the words escaped her lips. She went back to her original position, leaning her head on Tegan's chest.
"I do..." Tegan said softly. I do? Yes I do. Am I hers? Jesus, I'm not even mine...
A lonely tear fell from her right eye as Lindsey let a sigh slip out from her mouth. Few minutes later she felt Lindsey's steady breathe, and in that moment Tegan let herself succumb at her own misery and started to cry silently.
When Sara and Stacy came back from the night with the boys, they were both drunk. They both had problems with walking and talking properly, but they managed to reach the room. Before they opened the door, Stacy's pants were already at her knees, but they didn't care. When Sara slammed the door close, she heard a sound in the room, and when she turned she found Stacy on the floor, she was laughing massaging a elbow. Sara started to laugh with her, but after a minute, she reached for Stacy's pant ripping them off. Stacy grab Sara by her wrist, and made Sara fall on the top of her. A second later she abruptly took off Sara t-shirt and violently pulled at her bra. Sara reached Stacy T-shirt and did the same thing, and before she get the chance to reach Stacy's bra, she felt Stacy's hand on her chest. She was touching her angry, squeezing and scratching her. That made cry loud in pain and lust. She looked down at Stacy and put her hand on the back of Stacy's head pulling hard at her hair causing Stacy to arc her neck.
"Fuck," was all Stacy said before Sara started to bite at her neck. She bit hard, carelessly, breaking her skin and sucking and biting again. Stacy was moaning loud beneath Sara, and that turned Sara on even more. She made her way down to Stacy breasts, still biting and leaving marks. When she reached Stacy's bra, she took it with her teeth and let it go, then she took it with her hands and ripped it down, the straps snapping loose. She cupped Stacy's breasts and squeezed them angrily as a cry escaped Stacy. When Sara put her mouth on Stacy's nipple and started to suck and bite it hard, Stacy's moan became louder and louder and she arched her back as her core pressed into Sara's thigh. Stacy took Sara's face and brought it up, smashing their lips. Their tongue wrestled for dominance and finally Sara's tongue was so deep into Stacy's throat that for a moment Stacy thought she was choking. When Sara was about to broke the kiss, Stacy sucked hard on her tongue and then on her bottom lips. She bit Sara lips hard, and Sara cried as Stacy tasted blood into her mouth. When Sara looked at her, Stacy looked at Sara's lips and grinned at the sight of the blood. Sara took Stacy's hand and pinned them above her head on the floor. One hand was blocking Stacy's wrists on the floor as Sara put the other one on Stacy's chin, making her looking at her. She leaned down facing her, their face inch parted, they were both breathing heavily. Sara looked deep into Stacy's eyes, searching for something that she didn't find. She pushed down her thigh into Stacy center, and she moaned loud. Sara's hand left Stacy's face, and Stacy took the opportunity to lick Sara's chin, tasting her blood again. That started a fire into her chest and she started to move her hips into Sara's. Stacy groaned when Sara removed her thigh to straddle her. Few seconds later Sara's hand was in Stacy's underwear, cupping her. Sara pressed her palm against Stacy's swollen button, causing her to arch her back, then she entered her with three fingers. Stacy tensed for a moment, just a second, to get use to the sensation, then started riding Sara's hand. Sara was pumping hard into her, deeper with every thrust. When Stacy's walls started to clench she moved even faster to push Stacy over the edge. And Stacy came hard on her hand, crying out her name.
Sara took a few moment to steady her breath and than she withdrew her hand and stood up, leaving her girlfriend on the floor looking at her. She give her an hand to her per up and than went to the bathroom without even looking at Stacy.
As she reached the bathroom, she washed her hands to clean herself from Stacy's fluids. She looked into the mirror to see her own face. Her bottom lips was swollen and broken on the left where Stacy's teeth had bit harder.
She jumped into the shower not caring enough to wait the shower to warm up. The cold water sobered her a little, and she started to cry, her tears mingling with the water. She looked at her hands, thinking about what she had done a moment ago. She fucked Stacy, she fucked her like she was a whore, not her lover. She felt dirty an guilty. When she went back to their room, Stacy was sleeping and she lay down near her, and she kissed softly her cheek before whispering into her ear.
"I'm sorry," she said, and she started silently to cry
Sara didn't know, but behind the wall, in the room next to hers, Tegan was doing exactly the same thing.