"I, I'll never be, be what you see inside, you say I'm not alone, but I am petrified. You say that you are close, is close the closest star? You just feel twice as far, you just feel twice as far, and I'll fall down, and I'll break down and I'll fake you out.
All I wanna, I'm so afraid of what you have to say, cause I am quiet now and silence gives you space.
It's the same game today as it always is, I don't give you space to speak my name explaining this and the wrists of my mind have the bleeding lines that remind me of all the times...I have committed, dirty, dirty crimes that are perfectly form-fitted to what I've done and what I'm doing, I'm brewing and losing and spewing and fusing…" – 'Fake you out' – Twenty-One Pilots
Being back in London was both a relief and yet another anxiety to add to the ever-growing pile. It felt good to be in more familiar surroundings and to be able to finally see his creatures again – there was no doubt about that – but it also brought his situation into a more familiar context. Whilst in a distant hospital in Salzburg he had been able to distance himself from the things that had happened with Grindelwald and the impact they would have on his everyday life. It had just brought the troubles home – literally. Newt had somehow gotten it into his head that as soon as he was physically able to return home and get along with his life as it had been before his imprisonment, he would automatically be able to do just that. Act like nothing had ever happened – make himself feel normal by acting like it had never been otherwise. Of course, that wasn't really the case.
He hadn't been lying in his letter to Percival when he had said that he was recovering – physically at least and to a certain extent the mental scars were, well not healing, but at least acclimatising. Under Theseus' painfully watchful eye he had been able to go back into his case and to his house to be with his creatures and that had undeniably been a great weight that had been alleviated from his mind. Knowing that his friends had not suffered too much due to his prolonged absence and experiencing their clear joy to see him again had helped. Bunty and Dumbledore had both clearly treated them well. The nest of Occamy had practically jumped on him the moment he approached, and he had had to fight off laughter at Theseus' alarmed reaction of drawing his wand as they had wrapped around his arms, neck and shoulders in nuzzling affection.
Of course his brother had seen him interact with creatures before, but he had been decidedly jumpy and downright skittish around Newt since he had seen his memories, and while Newt had initially found it heartening to see his sibling's concern, it had soon grown rather annoying. He had had to reprimand his brother at least a dozen or more times over the past week for overreacting to any little contact his creatures made or for any signs of instability that Newt might have shown.
Admittedly, he was maybe not in the best shape, but he could walk and whilst the absence of the healing charms he had been smothered in in the hospital caused a significant increase in the levels of pain he had to endure, he had found that his collection of odd healing potions had sufficed in a pinch. His chest still required bandaging to ward off infection and prevent him from scratching at the healing scabs of the burns and lash marks as they itched constantly. But at least the course of Skele-grow was no longer required and his legs, fingers and rib, whilst still being a bit shaky, no longer collapsed under him if he attempted to stand for more than a few minutes at a time.
The main issues he had been having were with the injuries that had been inflicted by much more powerful magic – namely the Deathly Hallows mark and the seared scars on his left arm. The problems with his arm lay in the tenderness that even potions and healing magic could not seem to alleviate – Newt could constantly feel the sensation of the metal and glass within his flesh and in his hand whenever he moved. It wasn't necessarily always painful, but it certainly wasn't comfortable either. What bugged Newt, however, was that some of the more intuitive creatures in his enclosures often shied away from him if he attempted to reach for them with that hand. He had been able to coax them out of the fearful reaction with his usual blend of patience and care, but it still stung to think that what had been done might upset his creatures. He couldn't be sure, but he had a feeling that the living presence of the Blood-pact within him was what the creatures were sensing, and he couldn't really blame them for being wary of such unnatural magic – it unnerved him too.
That aside, the other recurring issue he was experiencing was that the mark of the Deathly Hallows had reappeared. It had been a slow process, so subtle that he hadn't really noticed it at first, not having wanted to see his scars more than he had to whilst dressing or bandaging himself. But today had been the first day when he had felt that he could get away with not bandaging his wounds, as they no longer itched or bled – the scars having puckered in white lines of slightly raised flesh with only a hint of redness around the edges to betray the freshness of the wounds. He had been in Theseus' spare room that he had been shuttled off into by his elder brother and had just been changing into his clothes for the day – one of his older shirts that was a bit too small form him, his favourite shirt having been shredded and lost during his captivity. He had looked down in a cursory glance as he had buttoned the material up and simply frozen.
The traces of what had been previously subtly pale flesh had darkened once more, not quite as dramatically as they had originally, but enough so that the nearly black-red lines formed a definite shape upon his upper chest and collarbone, the tip of the design disappearing from his line of sight at the base of his neck. It wasn't really the fact that it was Grindelwald's sign that had reappeared on his skin that had bothered him – it was more the idea that even after Dumbledore had supposedly removed the magic in it with Grindelwald's own damn wand it had still not worked. The idea that he could not escape Grindelwald's influence in his dreams or in his own damned body… it was just another reminder that he wasn't really free. He may be back in London and no longer physically tied down or in contact with his captor, but he certainly hadn't escaped him.
The reappearance of the mark was a painful prompt that no matter how far away he thought he had gotten from the horrible events and no matter how deeply he pushed the memories since then – he was still in Grindelwald's power. Even when the dark wizard was supposedly powerless. The dreams hadn't been too bad as of late – Grindelwald having not tried to initiate any contact again after the incident with Newt pushing back into his mind. Instead it had returned to the familiar pattern of him staring from across the room.
Newt was currently sat upon the neatly-made bed, hands numbly fiddling with the bottom of his still open shirt, head down and focussing very hard on his breathing. There had been more nightmares and flashbacks since his return to England – of course there had been - but he had at least suffered no more heart attacks or panics as he had in the hospital.
He had found that an effective coping mechanism whenever he felt the tide rising over him was to focus solely on the memory of Percival's chest beneath his hand, of his warm, steady voice and coffee-coloured eyes. Eyes that while being capable of making his heart stutter in his chest, in that instance had just been a source of crackling, steadying warmth. He wasn't sure why it helped but it did, it helped him remember how to breathe steadily under pressure and that there was at least another in the world who had suffered as much as he had at Grindelwald's hand but remained steadfastly strong. Though Percival had endured his cruelty in a different way than Newt had, he had still suffered more than he ever deserved – having his life, identity and freedom taken from him as well as the physical torture.
It wasn't fair but Newt took some solace in the idea that Percival had gotten past such atrocities and still been able to go about being the best Auror in MACUSA. Surely if he could do that, then Newt should be able to get along with his relatively unimpressive life. Not that he wholly admired the work of Aurors mind you – he was still highly dubious of the outdated and misguided laws and rather brutal methods that the Ministerial powers employed worldwide. But Percival, at least, seemed to be of a good sort – he may be a bit too officious in his adherence to his job in Newt's opinion, but he still admired the man's dedication to justice. To trying to protect people. We all have our causes, eh newt?
There was a sudden knock at the door to Newt's allotted room and he jerked his head up as Theseus' head poked around the door, offering him a thin smile and a mug of tea in his hand. "Morning."
Newt nodded and hurriedly moved to finish buttoning his shirt before Theseus could see the scars upon his chest. He already got enough pitying and worried looks from his elder bother without him seeing the mysterious reappearance of the mark of the wizard who had put him in this state in the first place. He took the proffered cup of tea, absently noting that it looked rather familiar, though there was a large chip marring the blue enamel he still recognised it as one half of the matching set he had sent Theseus as an engagement gift.
He had made the set of two cups from the discarded – thoroughly cleaned, crafted and polished – shells of a Sentaku-un. The creatures were very rare and considered to be lucky by the Japanese people local to where he had found the little blue-shelled herbivore. He had sent them as an attempt to bridge the rift between him and Theseus that had arisen at his engagement announcement but judging from the chip in this cup, Theseus must not have taken it as well as the note he sent Newt in reply had suggested. At the time, Newt had gotten the distinct feeling that Leta had encouraged Theseus to reply politely and judging from the state of the cup now, he must have been correct in his assumption. Sentaku-un's shell were incredibly durable and Theseus must have expended a great deal of force to inflict even a crack in the material.
He looked up from the chipped cup to Theseus and saw a flash of an apology flick over his face. "Sorry, I'm a bit low on kitchenware at the moment."
Newt shook his head absently, taking a sip of tea and avoiding eye contact but smiling slightly nonetheless as he replied, "Had another tussle with your underserving surroundings, eh Thes?"
Theseus huffed out a laugh of his own, but it sounded rather bitter – strained even and it prompted Newt to look up just in time to see true regret flash in his eyes. "Something like that, yeah."
"What happened this time?" Theseus sighed, folding his arms across his chest and looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"Leta and I had a… disagreement and I lost my temper…just like I always do." Newt's brows furrowed as he realised that he had not actually seen Leta since coming to stay with Theseus, he felt guilty at the thought that he had been so absorbed in himself to not think of his childhood friend and soon-to-be sister in law. Though coming to think of it now, in the week he had been here he had seen neither hide nor hair of the woman. Newt had been sticking to his own room and only really having left to go to his own house – under Theseus' strict supervision after he had finished work each day. But during the day Newt had mainly whiled his time away writing, reading and sketching – not being able to do much else in his still 'fragile' state.
He frowned and ventured with some hesitancy "Is she alright? I mean I haven't seen-"
Theseus cut him off with a deeper sigh and a look of deep regret, as if he hadn't wanted to bring up the subject but now wanted to just get it out of the way – to expel the repressed agony. "She left, Newt. Can't really say that I blame her either. In all the time I was looking for you I didn't think to contact her once. Not once! Not even when I was preparing myself to not be coming back! I was too bloody busy being distracted by my own wondering thoughts-"
He cut himself off, taking a shaking breath before continuing in a fervent whisper. "She deserves better than someone who doesn't even think to tell his fiancé goodbye when he goes to face the darkest wizard of the century. She told me that I was better off without her too. I tried to convince her she was being ridiculous, but with all the rumours going around about the Obscurus boy being Corvus Lestrange – her bloody brother… well… she said that she would rather have some time to sort out her family affairs and told me to do the same. Told me not to wait around because she wasn't going to…"
Newt felt his heart sink as he witnessed the utterly crushed look on his face, the pain in his blue eyes that had been simmering beneath the surface for days now and Newt – selfish idiot that he was – had assumed it was just lingering concern for him. How had it been for Theseus - juggling his invalid brother, the pressures at the Ministry and having Leta leave him all in such a short space of time? Justified or not, neither Leta or Newt had acted fairly towards Theseus.
He pushed himself up off the bed and wrapped his bereft brother in an awkward hug – he had never before been the one to initiate such contact but the hurt bubbling in Theseus' eyes was too much for Newt to witness without trying to do something to help. He could not think of any adequate words that could express his need to comfort him and apologise for what had happened so he just held on and hoped that it would help.
He felt Theseus' chest jerk against his own scarred one in barely contained sobs. It was not the same as the hug they had shared in the hospital when both had tried to retain some semblance of propriety. Now, he could feel Theseus' misery and anxious tension seeping out of him and Newt just let himself soak it up. He was certainly in no stable situation himself – far from it – but the feeling of having someone he cared about so hurt and in need of help helped him to find the strength to be strong for them. It was like what he did for his creatures – he found his strength in supporting others. He felt so useless in that moment – not being able to offer any clever or comforting words, anything he thought of just seemed to be vague, hollow and unhelpful sounding, even to his own ears. So he just squeezed Theseus tighter; maybe this was why Theseus seemed to prefer hugging, there was no disappointment in the awkward attempts to voice their emotions. Just a physical presence offering support.
Theseus was the one to pull back first, shaking his head and scrubbing an angry hand at his eyes that made Newt avert his gaze and step back to give Theseus time to collect himself. Absently he picked up his cup of tea and sipped at the cooling liquid, keeping his back to his brother, unsure of what he was supposed to do now – usually one of them had something much more important to be doing that prompted them to leave. That wasn't currently the case as it was a Sunday and Theseus had told him the previous day that he would be staying home as he was expecting a visitor.
Having finished his tea but still sensing Theseus standing nearby, Newt instead busied himself by shrugging on his waistcoat and braces with a wince and loosely brushing the empty space around his collar where his bowtie would usually reside. He had only had one in his possession and of course it was now gone, though what Grindelwald had done with it or the rest of his clothes, he couldn't imagine. Probably kept them as a keepsake eh Newt? The thought made him shudder slightly and his trembling fingers pulled nervously at his collar, even though it wasn't fully buttoned up it suddenly felt too tight. The material wasn't physically constricting his throat he suddenly felt that each breath was catching in his throat as if he was being choked. Newt pulled at it more forcefully, face flushing slightly as he swore he could feel a grip pressing mercilessly against his windpipe.
"Newt? Newt?" He felt Theseus' hand on his wrist, insistently pulling at his hand to get it away from where he clutched his collar. It didn't stop the choking feeling however and his knees gave out under him as light-headedness overtook him. He heard Theseus' voice again, calling his name frantically and cursing under his breath. "Newt! Damn it, Newt, breathe, come on, it's okay. He's not here, he can't hurt you anymore."
The words didn't relieve him however him however; only fuelled his panic as Grindelwald's face flashed unbidden in front of his eyes, he had collapsed against the bed and the presence of a man hovering over him – even that of his brother, made fear flood through him faster. His wrist was still in Theseus' grip and it made the images from before flash more vividly through his sight. He could see Grindelwald's familiar sneer pasting itself upon Theseus' blurry face, replacing the concern with malicious intent as he gripped Newt tighter by the wrist, keeping it away from the hand he could feel choking him still. You enjoyed the attention didn't you, Newt? The vulnerability? Newt bucked and wiggled, shaking his head and trying desperately to fight the manic vision of Theseus he could see off as the room spun blurrily around him, feeling surprise bolt through him as the other man let him.
The hands were raised, open palms out towards him in a clearly placating gesture and Newt felt the hold on his throat lessen so that the ringing in his ears quietened enough to hear the words pouring from his mouth. "Newt, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Please just breathe for me, I'm not him. Think about it, Newt – he didn't become me before. Why would he do it now? Please just breathe and focus on here and now."
His words rung with sense and Newt nodded blearily, focusing on his grounding memory of Percival's breathing, his voice, warm and calm. See, just like this, in and out, nice and slow. It helped, like it always did, but he probably wouldn't have been able to get there if it hadn't been for Theseus. Newt sat up from his sprawled-out position on the bed and Theseus looked immeasurably relieved at the movement, the young Magizoologist's throat felt sore and he gingerly reached up a hand to rub at it. There didn't seem to be any new bruises present though he had managed to apparently cause a few tiny stinging cuts with his frantic nails. His left hand stung along the lines of engraved silver from his struggles.
Whatever he had just experienced had likely just been some sort of intense flashback rather than anything magical, which came as a relief even if it meant that he wasn't quite as recovered as he had thought. He hated that these attacks could apparently come from the smallest bloody things – that even safe surroundings and his own brother could trigger some primal fear inside of him. He hadn't been hearing much of the voice for a while and it was disheartening to think that its provocative, blunt pragmatism was back again.
"Are you alright, Newt? Are you back with me?" He looked up at his brother gratefully and nodded – for the first time feeling glad that Theseus had seen what he had – that he had known enough to snap Newt out of it.
"Yeah, s-sorry Thes, t-thank you for- thanks." He didn't dare voice exactly what he was thankful; for, not wanting to speak what both had witnessed aloud. There was no point in worrying Theseus further by drudging up what he already knew had happened.
The young magizoologist felt the sudden urge to distance himself from the bed and the small room that reminded him too much of the room in Nurmengard. He pushed up off the bed and headed for the door, walking out a bit unsteadily into the corridor, looking back to prompt Theseus to follow him as he descended the stairs and went into the kitchen. He plopped himself heavily down onto a chair at the kitchen table, placing his arms groundingly on top of the smooth wood and rolling up his sleeves to the elbows as he still felt sweat clinging to his brow and skin. The silvery glass lines on his left arm stood out starkly against the pallor of his skin as his lean muscles flexed slightly at the movement, he flexed his fingers a bit. He had found that the metal's presence in his skin made his fingers grow stiff if he stayed still for too long and winced as the skin pulled a little.
There was a long pause before Theseus broke the silence by speaking again, leaning up against the kitchen counter as he faced his younger sibling. "Newt, you do know it will help if you tell me if something is upsetting you." Theseus spoke firmly, earnestly. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you with all that stuff about Leta-"
It was Newt's turn to cut his brother off for once however as he met the elder's gaze with a similar decisiveness. "No, you have just as much right to talk about what's bothering you as I do. Let's be honest here – what happened isn't going to just go away any time soon and you shouldn't have to hide your own problems because you're worried it might upset me."
"But I'm pretty sure that you don't want to hear about the troubles I'm having with the woman you used to hold affections for." Newt flinched slightly at that – neither of them usually brought up this subject unless they were looking for a fight and it felt odd to hear Theseus mentioning it in an earnest seeming manner.
"You needn't worry about that Thee, I'm honestly not bothered by it at this point." He let out a huffing, slightly hysterical sounding laugh under his breath, offering his alarmed looking sibling a wry smile. "My brother being in love with my childhood sweetheart kind of fell to the bottom of my list of worries lately. Abduction, torture, manically obsessive dark wizards and the battle of the century being waged not feet away from you are a better distraction than most would have you believe."
Even Theseus could not prevent a huff of scornful mirth from leaving his lips and Newt felt a tendril of relief creep through him at the reaction. It helped to get this normal rhythm and banter flowing back between them – made him feel less tense and breakable. Reminded him of their childhood and how much simpler it had been between them before all these bloody complications began.
"I can imagine it would, though I can't say that any of my extensive training covered dealing with cheeky mouthed sods." He quirked an eyebrow and Newt snorted.
"And I must have missed the lessons at Hogwarts that taught me how to deal with pompous, overbearing workaholics."
"That might've been because you were too busy messing about with your bloody creatures to ever attend any. Oh, and then managing to get yourself expelled probably didn't help matters." Newt let out an indignant huff and scooped up an apple from the bowl on the table and lobbed it playfully at him which Theseus caught without batting an eyelid, grinning at him in a distinctly smug manner. Newt had never been very good at managing to hit his brother with anything despite how often he had attempted it in their younger years.
"If I remember correctly, you had owls sent home at least three times because you'd skipped charms lessons to flirt with sixth year girls."
Theseus offered him a cocky grin and tossed the apple in the air once before biting into it with apparent relish. "That was because I didn't need lessons in charming. I endeavoured to spend my time with pretty girls because that's what most normal teenage boys do, little than chasing after some god-awful dangerous beast in the Forbidden Forest!"
Newt was about to embark upon an emphatic rant upon just how interesting the creatures of the Forbidden Forest were, when there was a knock at the kitchen door and there was suddenly a flurry of pink and crimson coats, scarves and mittens coming through the door. He jumped slightly at the sudden entrance but glancing over at Theseus' unconcerned face he relaxed and regarded the newcomers again – quickly recognising the Goldstein sisters as they removed their excessive layers of outer clothing.
"Mercy Lewis! You could've warned us that London was so cold Theseus!" The exclamation came from the unravelling bundle of red and grey cloth that turned out to be Tina and when she glanced over and noticed Newt, she flushed even more pink beyond the biting cold outside. "Oh Newt! You're here uh, how are you?"
"Yeah, how're you doing, honey?" Queenie's voice was cheerful sounding as ever but when she turned to look properly at him, he could tell that she was avoiding his gaze directly. He wondered if she was still able to hear his thoughts or if she was purposefully trying not to.
"Good- fine actually." Newt said in a rush as he got up from his chair to allow the two women to sit down. Theseus began looking about for spare cups in the oddly empty cupboards and managed to scrounge up enough trappings to make hot drinks. The Goldstein sisters piled themselves around the table, plopping their coats, scarves, gloves and hats on the backs of their chosen chairs.
Theseus politely gathered up the coats as he waited for the kettle to boil on top of the stove, sending them into the hall nearby with a flick of his wand to hang themselves up neatly on the rack. Both Americans looked flushed pink and windswept from the cold outside and Newt couldn't help but find himself wondering what they were doing there.
"We came to see you and Theseus of course!" Queenie's chirrup at least answered Newt's unspoken wonder and told him that she could in fact still read him – whatever Grindelwald had done to shield Newt's mind must've worn off. He found himself purposefully pushing his thoughts away from such things however – there was no use in reminding Queenie of anything that may or may not have happened. Instead he offered both women a soft, if a bit strained smile.
"It's a rather long way to come just for that isn't it?" He asked, quirking a brow. In his experience, Queenie never did anything without an ulterior motive. Clearly still listening to his thoughts, she giggled, seeming more comfortable as she nodded.
"You're right of course. We've got some wonderful news – me and Jacob are getting married!"
Newt blinked, nonplussed but then broke into a genuine smile. Theseus came around the side of the table to sit at the head of the table between where he had sat back down and Tina, smirking at Newt's confusion and placing cups of tea in front of himself and Newt whilst charming two cups of coffee to float over to the Goldstein sisters. Evidently Newt had been the last to be aware of the engagement. "Well, congratulations, but how-."
"Thanks sweetie! We're getting past those silly laws cause we're moving over here! To London! Isn't it great?"
A bit overwhelmed, Newt just nodded, needing a moment to quite process so much enthusiasm as he was being overwhelmed with by the two practically glowing witches. He swallowed, ducking his head and cautiously moving his arms under the table as he felt both women's gazes drawn to the left. "Yes, of course it is, but um where's Jacob?"
"Oh, he's busy getting the keys to our new place and he's gonna meet us later. The apartment is above a vacant store that's he's gonna make into a bakery – he's always wanted to come here. London, I mean and while I don't really like the cold, I'm just glad we have people here we know. We'll practically be neighbours, isn't that right Theseus? Teenie?"
Tina, whom had been apparently more preoccupied with exchanging amused, odd looks with Theseus, jumped slightly and nodded hurriedly. Theseus released an amused huff of laughter and raised and eyebrow at Queenie. "I've told you before that London isn't quite that small Queenie. Your new home is halfway across the city from here. Hell, you're practically down the road from Newt, isn't that about right?"
Realizing that his brother was clearly making the implication that he and Queenie and Jacob were going to be in a situation where he might have the Americans visiting him spontaneously whenever the mood struck them, gulped slightly. It wasn't that he didn't like the idea of his friends living nearby – it was actually a bit of a comfort in fact to think that he might be witnessing the foundations of a normal life being built.
The idea of a married couple who happened to be his friends living nearby was a surprisingly pleasant idea – that was of course, until you factored in the idea that one of was a natural Legilimens. Someone who was capable of getting inside of his head – even someone he trusted – living so nearby was enough make Newt's head itch. He already had enough presences within his mind and already shared enough of his grief with others to know that having Queenie around constantly would not be good for either of them. He liked her but there was still a niggling, irritating little doubt in his head that told him he shouldn't trust her. Think of what she almost did. It was stupid and likely groundless, but he couldn't help but be a bit unnerved by it.
He hated himself as he witnessed how Queenie's elated expression fell slightly as she obviously sensed his thoughts and her smile softened into a contrite pull of her lips as she met his eyes head on for the first time. "I'm sorry about before, Newt, honey, I really am. I was confused and desperate and I made some real stupid choices, but I swear I ain't gonna do anything to hurt you."
"It's alright- I- I don't blame you Queenie, I just don't want to ruin your new life with what's going on in my head right now." He smiled at her softly, sadly, and she nodded as she realised what he meant. Being around someone as messed up as he was not likely to be good for anyone involved.
"If it makes you feel better, I promise I'll try to keep out of your thoughts as much as I can, but I can't always help it." He appreciated her honesty.
"I know." He replied, gaze fixed upon the table in front of him, right hand moving to absently trace the lines of silver on the back of his other in his lap.
There were several painfully long moments of silence at the table before Theseus suddenly cleared his throat and looked to Tina in a pointed manner. She started slightly from where she had just been staring at him, looking around the table before clearing her own throat and focussing on her sister. "There was something that you wanted to ask Newt, wasn't there Queenie?"
Queenie looked a bit flustered for a moment before brightening and turning to Newt with a persuasively cheery smile. "Oh yeah, of course! How stupid of me! I was gonna wait till Jacob got here but-" she glanced from the closed kitchen door to her sister and then back to Newt again. "We want you to be our bestman, honey!"
Newt's mind went blank before restarting a few moments later and he blinked, flushing slightly, eyes fixed on Queenie's pink dressed shoulder and voice an awkward mumble "I uh would be honoured but um well… why?"
There was an almost collective chuckle at that from around the table and Queenie smiled kindly at him. "You were the one that got me and Jacob together in the first place so who else was I going to ask?"
"Um I'm not sure that's quite-"
"Of course, it is! If you hadn't let your crazy creatures loose in New York, then Tina would've never brought you and Jacob to our place and we wouldn't've ever met!"
"Well technically it was the Niffler who was responsible for you meeting…" he said, trying to say anything that might convince her to change her mind about the terrible idea. He would undoubtedly be an awful bestman – he'd been decidedly glad of the excuse of not wanting to make things awkward in order to get out of being Theseus' bestman. There were so many ways this could go wrong. He could lose the rings, he could have a breakdown or flashback in the middle of the ceremony, he might hurt someone…
"I don't think the Niffler would make a very good bestman though, now would he?"
Newt blinked bemusedly and mumbled "Certainly not, he wouldn't give the rings back for one thing and-"
He trailed off as the other three burst out laughing at Newt's confusion and he belatedly realised that she had been teasing him and he flushed bright scarlet, fixing his gaze on his lap once more.
"Is that a yes then?" Queenie asked once the laughter had died down a bit and Newt risked glancing up, offering her a weak smile.
"I-if that's what you w-want, of course I will." He was a bit taken aback as Queenie squealed, jumped up and came around the table to wrap him in a tight hug. He froze for a second as her grip made the wounds on his torso ache in a flare of pain, but he forced himself to relax after a few seconds and awkwardly patted her back. Newt swore he caught a glimpse of Tina and Theseus exchanging a smirk behind Queenie's back. She jumped back and skipped back round the table with a grin on her face that everyone at the table seemed to find so infectious that even Newt cracked a smile.
There was suddenly a light tapping at the kitchen window and all the room's occupants looked over to see a tawny owl perched on the outside ledge of the window, Theseus looked confused as he went to open the window, allowing the bird to hop inside. Newt, however, recognised it straight away as Percival's owl, Arthur, and quickly stood to relieve the tawny of his burden. He felt the curious eyes of everyone in the room follow him, except for Queenie who clearly knew who the letter was from.
"I'll, uh, speak to you later if that's alright." He mumbled as he headed hurriedly out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room, though he could have sworn he heard a stifled giggle follow him. He had been eagerly waiting for Percival's reply for several days now and had been inwardly cursing the distance between London and New York with each passing hour. There had been part of him that was worried he had scared Percival away with his needy, unstable, weird behaviour. He flopped down onto his bed, tearing open the carefully sealed envelope and unfolding the sheaf of thick, good quality paper inside.
Newt
Thank you for your unwarranted concern and I urge you once again to not blame yourself for the actions of a sadistic madman – there is nothing more you could have done than what you did. I hope you are settling well in London and, by all means, please keep on reminding your brother that he's not always right about everything. Of all people, I truly believe you're capable of proving his expectations of you wrong. You are by far one of the most uniquely strong individuals I have encountered in my life so I have faith that you can get through this.
I'm glad to hear that your collection of creatures has not suffered for your absence and that you feel well enough to be tending them. But I return your sentiment of hoping that you do not overexert yourself or hinder your recovery by doing anything foolish. Your brother may be mistaken on a number of things; however, I loathe to admit it, you do need to take it easy. As an eminent pioneer of the field of pushing oneself too far past the limitations of your own body and mind I must remind you that it isn't weakness to seek help from those around you. I certainly do not begrudge you feeling the desire to confide in me, in fact, I encourage it.
I wish I could be there to see Theseus attempting to deal with birthing Mooncalves under your supervision but as aforementioned, things over here are growing increasingly difficult lately. We have the situation in hand, but it is a fragile holding pattern at best – escalating tensions across the globe have led to increased violence towards No-Majs and anyone not of Pureblood descent. However, Tina has been of great help in keeping the Department of Magical Security in order, even if the rest of MACUSA seem to be pinning their hands under their own asses.
You are almost certainly right about Grindelwald's contingency plans but all we can do is handle them as best we can as and when they present themselves. It's not like we're in a position to be asking the bastard what he's planning after all, but at least I can take solace in the fact that your professor ensured he won't be able to witness any of his handiwork in person. Madam President Picquery certainly wasn't happy about any of it but I think I've managed to convince her that this is probably for the best. He's eluded us before and if you trust Dumbledore to keep him imprisoned, I am willing to place my faith in that.
Don't worry about the pen, I have plenty more where that came from and I'm sure your furry little friend will appreciate it more than I would.
As I said, take it easy on yourself
Percival. E. Graves
There was an added scrawl of lines added to the back as a clear afterthought that made Newt's unquenchable smile turn to a gasp of surprise.
I look forward to having the opportunity to see you again at Queenie's wedding in London in two weeks' time and hope that you feel up to attending. It would be an awful shame to miss such an opportunity as this to fulfil my debt to you.
Newt felt a flush colour his cheeks further at the overwhelmingly warm tone of Percival's written words and the thought that he would likely be seeing Percival again so soon. It seemed that he truly had been the last to know about Queenie and Jacob's wedding, though he had a sneaking suspicion that it was because his brother and friends were worried about him still. Well shouldn't they be? Not helpful, stop it.
Realizing that he had been rather rude to the Goldstein sisters in wake of his eagerness to read Percival's reply, he left the note on his bed and quietly left his room, getting down the first few steps of the stairs before he stopped short. He could hear decidedly raised whispers coming from Theseus' room, he was going to ignore it but found his curiosity piqued when he heard a familiar name mentioned.
"I know you love Leta but her decision to leave you seems like a mistake she's going to just have to live with. You can't blame yourself for this! I'm no expert but I think that if she broke off your engagement for wanting to save your brother, it wasn't going to work out anyways. Someone that selfish isn't worth your time."
Newt was decidedly alarmed to recognise Tina's voice and was even more shocked to hear her sound so fervent and bluntly condemning of Leta. He paused, frozen on the step as he heard his brother's voice reply in a dejected tone. "I don't think that she was being selfish by wanting to know that I might not be coming back or that Newt might've not either."
"And that's another thing! You didn't ever question the fact that she openly admitted to you that she was still in love with your brother even after you got engaged. I don't know if it's just me, but that sounds like something only a manipulative, selfish bitch would do. It sounded like she was just trying to start trouble between you two from the start. She couldn't have Newt so decided to mess around with his head by pursuing you. You're worth so much more than this Theseus, you-"
There was a cut off, surprised squeak from Tina followed by some very wet sounds that prompted further confusion from Newt for several seconds before he twigged after hearing muffled moans through the door. Flushing a deeper scarlet, he hastened as quickly and quietly as he could down the stairs and back into the kitchen. He was definitely not going to think about what he just heard anytime soon if he could help it.
Queenie was sitting there at the table, still nursing her coffee with an expression upon her face that was caught somewhere between amusement and awkward disgust. He cleared his throat awkwardly as a muffled thump issued from upstairs followed by a very un-Tina-like giggle. Newt sat back at the table, gaze fixed upon his second cold cup of tea and not daring to look directly at Queenie as he asked, very hesitantly. "So, my brother and your sister…?"
"Yep."
"How long?" Newt ventured, more out of an absent need to fill the silence than any real curiosity.
"Oh, they've been making eyes at each other from the moment she called him an ass." Both of them grimaced.
"And you can hear both of their-"
"Yep."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Newt took an awkward sip of his cold tea and tried very hard not to picture exactly what was going on upstairs right now. From the pained, slightly queasy expression on Queenie's face she was trying to do the same. There was maybe a minute of incredibly tense silence before-
"Want to help me check on my creatures?"
"Morgana's ass, yes, please!" she practically leapt from her seat towards the door and Newt did the same.
"I'll get the coats."
As he handed Queenie her pink overcoat and slipped on his own blue one, they both hastened out of the kitchen door in under a minute. Despite the biting cold and brisk breeze Newt paused for a moment by the door and asked. "What about Jacob?"
"We can stop by the bakery on our way, can't we?"
"Oh, yes, of course." He said, gripping Queenie's arm and apparating them to the end of the road near his own house. It was still difficult to apparate wandlessly, but he was gradually getting the hang of it out of a desire to never again be trapped anywhere because he didn't have a wand. To not be helpless again. Queenie took a moment to gather her bearings before pointing out the vacant shop at the opposite end of the adjoining street.
Newt raised an eyebrow at the suspiciously nearby location of Queenie and Jacob's new place to his own house and thought he could have sworn that the shop had been occupied not weeks before. That it had been s corner shop owned by an elderly muggle man whom he had bought food from. Had Theseus done something to ensure that Newt might have friends nearby? It wouldn't be the first time he had done some convenient obliviating of muggles in the guise of 'protecting him' but surely, he wouldn't stoop to obliviating poor shop keepers just so that his friends could live nearby? The idea was ridiculous… and also annoyingly likely. He probably thinks you need a babysitter so that you don't end up getting kidnapped and obliterated again… or maybe he did it for Tina since they seem to be getting so friendly. Uh, please stop it.
Newt scowled slightly, but purposefully ignored at the customarily truthful voice. He looked up at the shabby brick storefront with peeling paper signage in front of them that she had led him to. "It looks, um…nice?"
"It'll need some fixing up, sure, but it'll be a fun little project for us!" Queenie stated proudly, going forward to open the front door which must have been unlocked as it swung open easily. She entered and Newt followed, ducking his head in the low doorway as they entered the dark wood floored shop. On the inside it actually looked quite alright – the floor a bit dusty but the wooden upholstery clearly having been kept in better condition than the outside. There was an air blown stained-glass section to the front window that cast the room in a pleasant rosy glow from the late morning sun filtering from outside. It smelt musty but even Newt could tell that it looked rather promising as a start-up business and maybe even a home. Queenie and Jacob - and likely Theseus – had chosen well.
There was a thunder of footsteps from the stairs off to the right of the shop and Jacob appeared, grinning widely as he saw who had come into the shop. He practically ran down the last few steps and over to embrace first Queenie and then Newt in quick, tight hugs.
"Newt! How the hell are you?" Jacob asked exuberantly, punching his arm in a playful manner Though it had been a light blow Newt still let out a gasp as the Muggle's knuckle audibly struck metal through his coat. It was a tiny clink, but he still felt prompted to offer both a sheepish smile at their visibly confused expressions. Clearly Queenie wasn't digging too deep into his memories if she didn't realize what the sound meant, and he found himself oddly grateful.
"Sorry, but what the hell was-" Jacob cut himself off as Newt shook the slight numbness out of his arm and shook his head softly.
"It's nothing Jacob, nothing to worry about at least. I owe you congratulations on your engagement." The change of topic clearly worked as both broke into smiles again, Jacob wrapping his arm around Queenie as he beamed proudly.
"Yeah! Still can't believe I'm lucky enough that this is really happening!" He gazed fondly at his fiancé and all Newt could do was smile awkwardly. "I've always wanted to go to London, to open a bakery and to marry a wonderful woman who loves to be cooked for. What are the chances that I get all of that 'cause of meeting you eh, Newt?"
Newt ducked his head, flushing again for what felt like the hundredth time that day and nodding. "I think you're both giving me far too much credit here."
"Of course not! That's why you're my bestman!" Jacob exclaimed, patting Newt enthusiastically on the other shoulder before glancing to Queenie in question "You did ask him darlin', didn't you? And he said yes? You said yes, didn't you, Newt?"
"Y-yes, if that's what you both want." He said, feeling awkward for having to repeat his reluctant words from earlier.
"Good! Great! Oh, you gotta try the tester cake I made for the reception Newt!" He bustled off through a back door, returning a minute later with a tinfoil wrapped slice of some sort of fruity looking iced cake.
Newt took it and awkwardly took a bite under Jacob's eager gaze, he nodded slightly and mumbled around his mouthful "S'good."
"Oh, that's good! I was worried that spell Queenie put on it to keep it fresh on the journey over might've turned it weird or sumin'." Queenie batted at his arm playfully and reproached him in a teasing voice.
"I told you Jacob, magic works on food just fine if you know what you're doing."
"I'm sorry darlin', you're right as usual – none of your food is anything but amazing after all." Queenie giggled and they shared a smiling kiss that prompted Newt to focus his attention entirely upon his cake. Cake was safe. Cake didn't actively remind him of the fact that everyone and their mothers seemed to be finding romance at the moment, whilst he was painfully unable to imagine getting that close to the object of his desire without panicking.
"Oh, don't worry about that honey, there'll be plenty of time for all that later. I hear that Graves has a habit of causing quite the scandal at weddings – maybe you'll get lucky."
Newt promptly choked on his mouthful of cake.
A/N – Hope this is okay. I'm really not sure if I'm doing the 'happy' stuff okay?
I hate to be a review hunter but I'm getting the feeling from the last few chapters that I might be disappointing people with my updates. Any feedback or ideas why? I genuinely just want to make sure that people are still enjoying this.