Chapter 7

We arrived back in Toronto at a quarter 'til five and we were home free. I drove Clare back to her house and Mrs. Edwards was standing on the front porch wearing a very flattering cocktail dress and murderous glare on her face. Holy shit, day one of being Clare's boyfriend and her mom already hates me. I think that's a new record for me, I thought with fake enthusiasm. Clare's eyes widened and a small shriek escaped from her plump lips. With her face buried in her hands, Clare groans and says, "She knows! I know she knows. She looks like she wants to strangle me. Just let me out here. I don't want her to know that I was with you all day, let alone three hours away from home."

I hesitantly stopped Morty and unlocked the door. Before Clare opened the door, I gently grabbed her hand. "Clare, I'm really sorry for getting you into trouble. I just needed to tell you and I felt that was the best way. And I really want your parents to know that it's not your fault at all", I explained. "I'm going to come in there with you and tell them everything." Clare looked horrified but eventually her expression softened. "Um. Alright. I hope they take pity on you." I park Morty in front of the Edward's home and told Clare to wait in her seat for a second. I get out first and walk over to Clare's side. "Whatever trouble I get into, it'll be worth it as long as I'm with you", I say to her as I opened up the passenger side door.

"Clare Diana Edwards! It's almost five in the evening. Where have you been? And have you talked to your father? He was supposed to be home now as well. We have an important church function to go to. Um, hello", Mrs. Edwards stopped ranting to notice I'm standing right beside her daughter, with her hand in mine. "Eli, right? It's very pleasant to see you again, but I really need Clare to get ready for she is probably going to have to take Randall's place tonight." Does she always talk this damn fast? Clare clears her throat loudly and says, "Mom, I know you have met Eli but I want to tell you something. Eli and I are dating." Instead of breaking into a wide, happy smile for her daughter, Mrs. Edward's eyes just turned cold and empty. "Clare, please go get ready. And again, Eli, I'm very sorry but you really need to go now." I give Clare's hand a tight squeeze, then released it. "I'll text you tomorrow, Clare. Okay?" Clare gave a faint smile and followed her mother into their home.

On the way back to my house, I throw on some music. Hey there, I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all. Where you are and how you feel, with these lights off as these wheels keep rolling on and on. I notice The Dot up the road and see K.C. and the other jocks standing outside and I can feel all of my muscles tense up. Slow things down or speed them up, not enough or way too much. How are you when I'm gone? I see K.C. flash me his middle finger as my hearse drives by. And I can't make it on my own, and I can't make it on my own because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrist and black my eyes, so cut my wrist and black my eyes so I can fall asleep tonight, or die. Because you kill me, you know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell, you never stop until my final breath is gone. I pull into the drive way and see Cece and Bullfrog standing there and they looked just as pissed off as Clare's mom. I get out of the hearse and brace myself for the worst.

Bullfrog puts his hands on his face and inhales sharply. "Thank fucking God that you're alright, kid", my dad says softly. "The school called and said you never showed up for class and we were scared shitless. Where the hell where you?" Cece embraces me in a tight hug and then smacks me upside the head. "I can't even begin to understand your thought process, baby! I know that we sprang some tough news on you but there's something else we need to talk about. Let's go inside okay?" I literally can't even fucking take anymore "news" from these people. I take a seat on the couch quietly and wait for them to fuck up my world again. "First things first", Cece begins, "Where on earth have you been today?" I take a deep breath and decide that there's no point in lying anymore. "Look guys, I was fine. I took Clare to go see Jules. I needed closure and I needed to tell Clare about my old life. I skipped school one day, so what? This is the most at peace I have felt since I lost Julia. And if you guys can't understand that then I don't know what to tell you. Ground me, I don't care. I needed this." I could feel my words all running together and all I needed now was to just take a toke. I see Cece rubbing her stomach and I can feel the hot tears running down my eyes. "Elijah," my mother says quietly, "we lost the baby." The silence in the room was deafening.

Instinctively, I cradle my mother in my arms, and Bullfrog who is holding both Cece and I, cry for what seems like forever. "I'm so sorry, Cece. I know I reacted badly when you first told me, but I never wanted this to happen". "It's okay baby boy, it wasn't meant to be. I was at the doctor all morning trying to figure out what I did wrong, but sometimes life just happens. I'm just happy you are alright". I choke out a few strangled sobs and start to feel insanely guilty for worrying my parents when they had so much on their minds. "I do want to tell you guys though that Clare and I are a couple. I want you to meet her. I know you guys will love her. I already do". As Bullfrog puts his hand on my shoulder he says, "I'm happy for you son, we can't wait to meet her. And I'm happy you could put some of the past behind you today. I mean we're still extremely angry at you for skipping school, and skipping town for that matter, but I think we can let it slide just this one time. Today has been emotionally draining enough for all of us, I think." I wipe my tears and stand up to hug my parents. "Thank you guys, and I love you. And I'm so sorry about the, you know."

I made my way up to my bedroom and locked the door. I take out my wooden box again and decided that just a little bit of herb will make me feel better. I am instantly relaxed by the thick smoke in my lungs and I decide to call Clare. I pull out my cell phone and dialed her number. No answer. God damn it. I really hope Clare's parents aren't too hard on her for skipping school. This is all my fault. I decided to call Adam in hopes that he wasn't too busy to meet at the Dot. I dialed his number and he answered on the first ring. "Hey Eli!", his high pitched voice rang through my cell, "What's up? Have fun skipping school today?". "Can you meet me at the Dot? I really need to talk about stuff." "Sure, come get me". I finish smoking my bowl and tell my parents that I'm leaving. I know that it's not really a good idea to drive high, but I swear that I'm an even better driver when I am.

I arrive at Adam's house and he jumps into Morty. "Man, everyone was so worried about you and Clare today! Where did you guys go? Are you guys like, dating now?" Adam was talking so fast that he made my head spin. "Adam. One question at a time please. I took Clare to my hometown today and told her about Julia. You know me, I have to do shit in a creative, fucked up way. And to answer your question, yes. Clare and I are officially together now." We arrive at the Dot and we go inside and order coffees. "Look, I really need to talk to you about some stuff. I know we haven't known each other very long, but you and Clare are like my closet friends here." Adam has a severely confused look on his face but he allows me to continue. "The other day, my mom told me she was pregnant. I was so angry at my parents for making my already hard life, harder. And now today, when I got home from my little trip, my mom told me that she lost the baby. I feel like complete and utter shit and Clare's parents are mad at her for skipping school and I feel like I'm fucking up everything". "Wow, Eli. I'm sorry to hear about your mom", Adam says with what looks like tears in his eyes. "I'm sure they don't blame you for her losing the baby though." "Yeah, I know they don't and that makes me feel even worse." "I am really happy for you and Clare though. You guys seem so perfect for each other." Adam and I's conversation was interrupted by someone's fist going directly at the side of my head.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!" I'm dazed and confused when I woke up. I'm on the ground and K.C. is glowering over me. "You're done fucking with my life, shithead. You and Clare are NOT going to last long. I'll make sure of it." K.C.'s words are ringing in my head and I'm wondering how bruised my face is going to be later. Why is K.C. so pissed off that Clare and I are official if he's having a baby with Jenna?