Chapter 7!

Hey! Look! I updated!

I'm so sorry for the long wait. College started and I am so busy now. But more importantly I was uninspired. However, today I went to a cross country meet and it inspired me! Yay cross country! But on that note, this chapter was quickly thrown together, so I apologize for any errors. I hope you enjoy it.

Incident: Death and Money

Angeal was having one of those rare productive days. No one was bothering him and he was enjoying the quiet peace of his office, with only his plants for company. He had also managed to finally catch up on the paperwork, which he had fallen behind on when Zack had decided to reorganize his filing cabinet for him.

However, his peace was suddenly shattered as the door was thrown open and a pale faced Zack vaulted into the room.

"Angeal!" He practically screamed as he danced in place with nervous energy. "Hide me!"

Angeal shot a glance upwards at the ceiling as he asked whoever was listening for some patience. "What did you do this time?"

"I'll explain later, right now, you've just got to hide me. This isn't a joke. This is a life or death situation! My life is in great peril!"

"Did you upset Sephiroth's fan club again? Zack, I've already told you to stay away from them. Stop telling them that Cloud could take Sephiroth in a fight. That could never happen and the fan girls will rip him to shreds."

"No, not the fan club," Zack yelped. "Worse!"

For a moment Angeal was stumped, he had trouble thinking of anything more terrifying than Sephiroth's devoted fanatics. "The Turks?" He asked, although he didn't think they were more terrifying than those fangirls.

"No, the Turks aren't worse than those fan girls," Zack declared as he waved his hands frantically. "Genesis is going to kill murder me!"

"Genesis is not more terrifying than those fangirls," Angeal argued.

"He's going to kill me! I'm going to die a terribly painful death, set on fire and dismembered."

"He's not going-" Angeal started but Zack cut him off with a cry.

"I ruined his limited edition antique copy of Loveless!"

"You did what?" Angeal sputtered. "He's going to kill you!"

"Hide me!" Zack begged, dropping to his knees, clasping his hands together, and peering up at Angeal with the biggest puppy eyes he could muster. "Please."

"Okay," Angeal said as he assessed the direness of the situation. "First, we need to get you out of this room. My office will probably be one of the first places he looks," Angeal said, thinking logically.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Angeal called as Zack dove under Angeal's desk and quickly squished his large frame so that he was completely hidden.

"Me," Came Genesis' voice as the door was pushed open and he sauntered into the room.

"Hi," Angeal said as he pushed the chair back away from the desk to give Zack a little more space. He could swear he could almost hear Zack whimpering as Genesis took a step closer.

"You would not believe what just happened," Genesis said as he crossed his arms and shot a death glare at the nearby plants, as if they were the cause for all his misery.

"Zack ruined your ultra-rare cop of Loveless," Angeal said calmly.

Genesis looked shocked for a moment, but quickly recovered. "He's been here," he accused as he looked at Angeal through narrow eyes.

"Yea, he rushed in, whined about how you were going to kill him, and left," Angeal said motioning towards the door to make sure Genesis understood the last part.

"I see," Genesis said. His eyes flickered towards the door. "And I don't suppose you know where he went, do you?"

"No clue," Angeal said.

"Well could you do me a favor then?" Genesis asked with a dark smile.

"I'm not going to kill you for him," Angeal said, which made Genesis chuckle and shake his head.

"No, I just want you to tell him that he owes me another copy of Loveless. An original limited edition copy," he added.

"Alright, I'll pass that message along," Angeal said.

"Thanks, Angeal," Genesis said and then with a flourish he turned and strolled out of the room. When the door slid shut behind him Zack crawled out from under the desk.

"I'm going to live!" He cried as he stood up and waved his arms exuberantly and spun in a circle.

"Zack," Angeal said in a serious tone, cutting off the younger man's happy dance.

"What?" Zack asked as he froze.

"Do you have any idea how much Genesis paid for that edition of Loveless?

"Like 1,000 Gil?"

Angeal shook his head. "More. A lot more."

What? But it's a book," Zack whined. "It can't be more than 10,000 Gil, right?"

"Try 1,200,000 Gil," Angeal said.

"What?" Zack gasped and then he collapsed onto the floor.

Lesson Learned: Don't mess with Loveless.

Incident: Prank

Genesis and Sephiroth were discussing an upcoming mission when Zack skipped up to them.

"Hey, Sephiroth," Zack greeted him with a big smile. "You should do your impression Genesis. It's hilarious."

"What?" Genesis practically screamed, anger burning in his eyes as he rounded on Sephiroth who was staring at Zack, wide-eyed in utter confusion.

"I believe you are mistaken. I've never done an impression of Genesis," Sephiroth said carefully with confusion evident in his voice. He didn't understand why Zack would say that. Was Zack simply confused, or was there a more sinister motive backing that comment?

"Oh, don't be modest," Zack chastised with a devious twinkle in his eyes. "You had everyone roaring with laughter the other day."

"What?" Genesis gasped as Zack skipped away, leaving Sephiroth to deal with an irate Genesis armed with fire materia.

Lesson Learned: Never trust Zack Fair.

Incident: The Fifteen Mile Run

"Why do we have to run this?" Kunsel grumbled as he struggled to keep pace with Zack.

"I don't like running," Zack added. "I'd rather be practicing in the VR room or out there fighting the bad guys."

"You need to be in peak physical strength to be a great soldier," Genesis said mockingly as he repeated Angeal's words. "And running is an excellent work out."

"But we already ran ten miles yesterday," Zack complained.

"Maybe if you complained less you'd have more energy to run," Genesis suggested.

"I'm hungry," Zack said patting his stomach.

"Me too!" Kunsel added. "I didn't have breakfast."

"I had breakfast, but I'm still hungry," Zack whined. "And this is so boring. Why don't Angeal and Sephiroth have to do this?"

"Will you two stop complaining?" Genesis asked tiredly. "I don't want to be out here either. Angeal is on a mission and Sephiroth is at a meeting."

There was silence among their little group for a moment, the only sounds was the slap of their shoes on the cement. Then Kunsel spoke up. "You know, as long as we're gone for the right amount of time, they'll never know if we actually ran or not."

"Angeal would have our necks if he found out," Zack said.

"He'd give us the lecture," Genesis added.

"Oh, yes. Honor, pride, donuts, etc."

"I don't think "donuts" is normally part of his lecture," Kunsel said.

"No," Zack said as he brightened up. The look on his face indicated that he had just had an idea. Genesis nervously waited for his next words. "But there is a donut shop on the next street, and we could make a quick stop there and you know eat donuts and chill."

"I like your way of thinking!" Kunsel said enthusiastically as he cast a hopeful look at Genesis, whose face was unreadable.

"We just have to make sure Angeal doesn't find out. He'd kill me," Zack said.

"He's miles away, we'll be fine," Kunsel assured him, glancing up at Genesis for his approval.

"Alright," Genesis said after a moment of deliberation. Zack let out a yip of excitement as they turned down the next street approaching the donut shop.

They got their food and then sat down at a table near the back. Zack scarfed down a dozen donuts as Genesis watched him over the rim of his coffee cup with a look of mild disgust on his visage.

"Zackary, please closed your mouth when you chew."

"Huh?" Zack asked, shooting him a confused open mouth look. Before Genesis could chastise him further, Kunsel let out a yell.

"Guys!" he cried, waving a finger furiously at the window. The other two SOLDIERs turned and gasped as their eyes fell on the people standing just outside the shop. It was Sephiroth and the Director Lazard.

"Hide!" Zack yelled, grabbing Genesis and Kunsel and hauling them after him into the bathroom and out of sight.

"Did he see us? Kunsel gasped as he landed on the dirty tile floor. Behind him the wooden door swung close.

"Why would they come to a place like this?" Genesis hissed as he brushed himself off.

Then the door swung open and a women took a stepped inside. She froze as she spotted them sprawled on the floor.

"Perverts!" She yelled as she turned and dashed out of the bathroom.

"You dragged us into the women's bathroom?" Genesis hissed, grabbing Zack by the collar of his shirt.

"I didn't have time to look. Sephiroth nearly saw us!" Zack protested.

"Guys, now is not the time to fight. It's the time to run before Sephiroth comes in here and kills us," Kunsel cried. Genesis released Zack and then rolled to his feet. Zack quickly followed him. Then the door was pushed open and then the trio darted out.

"This way!" Kunsel called as he darted out a side door labeled emergency exit. Genesis and Zack followed him at a blind dash.

"Goddess, I hope he didn't see us," Zack panted as they ran down the street, blowing by startled pedestrians.

"How could he not have seen us?" Genesis asked. "We weren't exactly subtle thanks to you, Fair."

"Maybe he never entered the shop," Zack panted. "Did he enter the shop?"

"I was too busy preoccupied with sprinting for my life to notice," Kunsel said.

"We'll know as soon as we get back," Genesis said darkly, fearing the worst.

Zack gulped.

When they finished the loop and returned to the base, neither Sephiroth nor Lazard said anything to them about the incident. They didn't even mention their stop outside the donut shop.

"We're saved!" Zack hissed in Kunsel's ear. "They didn't notice."

However, when the next day came they each got a message on their phone to meet on the training field at six in the morning.

There, they found some cones set up across the field as well as two folding chairs. One of which was occupied by Sephiroth and the other by Lazard.

"Since you decided to have some fun yesterday instead of doing what you were supposed to be doing," Lazard began and the three noticeably paled, "we decided to give you another workout. You're going to run suicides until we finish off this bag of donuts," Lazard said holding up a large paper bag filled to the brim with the wondrous smelling fried dough. He smiled evilly at them. "This might take a while, since there are a lot of donuts in here." Next to him Sephiroth gave an uncharacteristic smirk as he took a bite out of a chocolate frosted donut and slowly began to chew it.

The three SOLDIERs stared at the duo with open mouth expressions of shock.

"What are you waiting around for?" Sephiroth asked. "You should start running."

Lesson: Never annoy Lazard.

Incident: The Elevator Returns

1. Take your shoes off before entering. Act shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

Eventually Sephiroth gave in and removed his boots, only for Zack to run off with them.

2. Place potted plants at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not feng shui."

The secretaries thought he was very in tune with his artistic and spiritual side. Angeal wondered where all his plants went.

3. Hold an auction selling things that are not yours.

"Okay, next up, is Sephiroth's right boot. Let's start with 200 gil," Zack said, waving said boot victoriously.

"How did you even get those?" Angeal asked as Reno raised his hand.

"I'll give you 300 gil!" Reno shouted.

4. Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.

It turned out that Cloud had a sob story.

5. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Cloud wasn't sure why Zack was suddenly terrified of him, but he had to admit that it was a nice change.

6. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Eventually, ask everyone if they like your hat.

"It's as spiky and weird as always," Genesis affirmed.

"That's not my hat, that's my hair. And it's all natural," Zack said, poking one of his black spikes.

"Sure it is," Genesis said with a smirk.

7. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Sephiroth eyed Zack with confusion. He'd seen Zack face down some of the most powerful beasts without batting an eye, but the elevator seemed to have him suddenly scared silly. He would never understand that boy.

8. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

Unfortunately, no one was talking so Zack had to do that part too.

9. Throw a rave.

Letting Rufus pick the music was a mistake.

10. Have a heated debate with yourself.

Zack found himself heading to the infirmary as soon as Angeal stepped onto the lift

11. Whenever anyone tries to get off, give a dramatic speech begging them not to leave you. Act as if they're breaking up with you.

"Sephiroth, how can you leave me like this? Are you really just going to leave me here in this cold box? I thought we had something. You can't leave me. I need you! Please don't go!"

And that's how the rumor regarding a romance between Zack and Sephiroth started.

12. Ask every passenger coming on if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Angeal dragged him back down to the infirmary, although he cared less about Zack getting checked out and more about getting Zack out of the public eye for a few hours.

13) Congratulate everyone for being in the same lift with you.

Cloud wasn't sure what he had done right, but he didn't mind the praise.

14) Set out a picnic on the floor and suggest that the other passengers to join you for afternoon tea.

Reno stole all his food.

15) Upon entering, ask the passengers "Will you be my friend?" Burst into tears if they say no.

And that's how Zack and Cissnei became friends.

Lesson Learned: Always take the stairs.

Please review!

Oh! And I was thinking of having a future chapter consist of different incidents where the SOLDIERs and Turks pull pranks on each other. So, first, do you think that is a good idea? And if you do, please suggestion a prank! Thanks!