"So let me get this straight… you asked her to marry you…?" The lack of understanding in Unkai's voice and the looks that matched it on the faces of my other brothers were almost enough to make me scream. Key word almost. I had lived with these people all my life, so I had learned not to expect the most normal of reactions from them.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you speak Japanese?" I asked them. "That's exactly what I said, isn't it?"

This weekend both Amu and I left Tokyo to visit our parents and families. We had planned to break the news to them separately, since at the time, I hadn't been on the greatest terms with her dad, and she had so far only met my parents and Shusui. The two of us had figured it would be easier to tell our families without the pressure of having to handle their immediate opinions on our fiancés.

"Well I, for one, am actually not all that surprised," Shusui broke into the silence that had started to build up since I confirmed Unkai's inquiring. "I mean, she's the first girl I've seen him be so serious about since that Utau chick."

Yes, he's talking about the Utau, and yes, we did used to date. Back in high school actually. Though it was only for about a year and, clearly, it didn't work out. But because of that, we became great friends and I'm glad things turned out the way they did. It could've been a lot worse, Utau being the not-so-forgiving type and all. If she hadn't agreed with my decision for us to stop dating, well, let's just say I wouldn't be announcing my engagement to Amu today, for more than one reason (Let you interpret that information as you will).

"Honestly, I didn't even know you were dating anyone," Rento said as he got up from his seat at the kitchen island and walked over to the pantry. He pulled a new bag of kabocha chips out and opened it up. After popping some of them in his mouth, he walked back over and thoughtfully chewed for a minute. "How come I've never heard of her?" he asked around a mouthful of kabocha.

I had always meant to get around to bringing Amu home, but it just never happened. She always had classes or I always had a game or practice. The only reason she was given the chance to meet my parents and Shusui was because Mom and Dad decided to pop by our house unannounced one weekend and he just happened to be tagging along with them.

"Well I've heard of her, I've just never met her," Unkai said, stealing a handful of chips from Rento's bag.

Probably about three or four months after I had met Amu, I called home once to talk to my parents about college and how it was going (they liked to keep updated on what they were helping to pay for), but Unkai had happened to pick up the phone. I hadn't seen him in a while, so we got into one of those 'Hey-how-have-you-been-what's-going-on' conversations, and I ended up telling him about Amu. We had only just started dating at that time, so the news of us getting married now must've been a shock for him.

"So, Kukai, how come you've never brought your fiancé home?" Rento asked with an accusing tone. I could tell he was just joking around, but if he was going to poke fun at me, I was going to poke back.

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's because you're all here?" Of course, that wasn't necessarily true. They all had places of their own, so they didn't still live with our parents- Kaido and Shusui even had kids- but they all lived so much closer than I did, so they got to visit more often. That, and they were a bunch of free loaders who liked to mooch off Mom and Dad. "'Cause if you ask me, that's a pretty good reason not t-"

"Oi, ya runt, did you just talk back?" Kaido broke in, effectively cutting me off. I swallowed nervously at the threating tone of his voice. Slowly, I turned my gaze to Kiado, who hadn't said a word about this whole thing up until now.

"Who are you calling a runt?" I asked back, giving him a hard glare that matched his own. I smirked. "I'm twenty four years old and out of the house. You can't boss me around anymore." Kaido just smirked right back at me.

"Ah, you think so?" The look in his eye was amused but in a deadly sort of way. I ignored it for the time being.

"I know so. And even if you wanted to face off now, I wouldn't let you because we're talking about something important," I said sternly, letting the smirk drop from my face. I was telling my brothers some serious news and they were definitely not reacting in the right way. Then again, nothing was right about these four. After hearing me say that, Kaido's expression changed as well.

"I know that," he said calmly, which honestly surprised me. "I know that this is serious, and that's why I'm worried about whether a runt like you is ready for something as big as getting married."

Now that made me a bit upset. "I told you that I wasn't a runt! Amu and I have been dating for three years now. Three! Shusui only dated Jun for about two and he got married when he was twenty one! If he was ready then, I think I'm ready now." The Jun woman was Shusui's wife and the two of them had been together since about 11 years ago, when I was still in middle school.

Kaido chuckled at my response. "The fact that you reacted like that only makes me doubt you more. Kukai, you may be twenty four, but that doesn't mean you're not still a kid." I was about to pout at what he said, but I was trying to prove a point here, so I stopped myself before I could. Instead, I rolled my eyes, which might not have been much better.

"Kaido, I'm not a kid and I am serious. I love Amu and am ready to marry her." The words did sound a bit foreign coming out of my mouth, because, despite my saying, Kaido was a little bit right. No, I wasn't a total kid, but I wasn't a total adult either. I just had a… kid-ish personality. That didn't mean I wasn't ready to get married, it just meant I would have more fun with it than most people.

"Prove it," Kaido said matter-o-factly. It almost didn't sound right at first, and I muttered a questioning 'Excuse me?' back to my oldest brother. He just smirked. "Prove how much you love her. I want you to call her up right now, and tell her just how much you love her in front of the four of us."

I gave him a disbelieving look, and he just gave me an expectant one in return. My other three brothers had varying expressions of curiosity and amusement on their faces. If I had a normal family, I could've just said no and the subject would've probably dropped. But seeing as this was my family, if I turned Kaido down, not only would I have suffered a severe blow to my pride, but to my gut as well. Harshly, I mumbled, "Fine," before begrudgingly pulling my phone from my pocket. Just as I was about to dial Amu's cell number, Rento stopped me.

"Wait!" he yelled, and we all looked at him. "That's not a good enough way to get him to prove how much he loves her. It's gotta be more challenging than that. Something a little more embarrassing…" My gaze turned hostile as I watched Rento think up something even more horrible to make me do. "Oh! I got it! How 'bout we tell him what to say to her!"

NO!

A look of wickedness crossed the faces of my four brothers, Kaido's especially devious. "Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this."

"I'm not!" I shouted at them, but they just ignored me. Rento ran out of the room, and when he came back in, he had a pen and paper in hand, already writing down the torturous words he would force me to say. Kaido, Shusui and Unkia rushed up to him, all of them eager to get in on the fun of playing with dear younger brother's feelings. "You're all cruel, just flat out jerks."

"Nah, we're not jerks, Kukai," Unkai said over his shoulder.

"Yeah, we're just doing this because we love you," Shusui added on.

"And we want to know how much you love Amu. If you can't handle doing something as little as this, then you don't love her enough to marry her," Kaido said finally. When I heard him, I went rigid. He was right. If I cared more about my pride than Amu, then I wasn't fit to be her husband. Realizing this, I redialed her number with new found determination. About a minute or two later, my brothers handed me the sheet of paper and I pressed the 'talk' button.

After a couple of rings, Amu picked up. "Hello?" I gulped at the sound of her voice. Here goes nothing I thought to myself.

"Yo, Amu… how're things going at your parents' house?" I looked at Kaido and who was pointing at the paper in my hand. He wanted me to get right to it, didn't he? Ah, love or not, this was embarrassing!

"They're going fine, I guess. What's up?" I would ask her about that 'I guess' later on. For now, I had to start talking before my brothers killed me out of impatience.

"Um… nothing much. I just called to tell you something…" I looked down at the sheet of paper and took in a deep, deep breath. "Amu… dearest- I just wanted you to know how much I truly… adore you." I think I nearly died just saying that one line.

"Are… are you okay, Kukai? You're saying some weird stuff." She had no idea.

Sadly, my next line corresponded practically perfectly with her question, and this would only serve to make me look more ridiculous and embarrass me even further. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine… Honey…Bumpkin… It's just- my burning love for you makes me say and do some crazy-" not to mention STUPID "-things sometimes. You are my… other half. You're the Mac… to my cheese," Why not just make me say- oh, there it is. "The… peanut butter to my jelly. I couldn't stand life without you." I was able to say that last line honestly, because it was true. If Amu was gone, I don't know what I'd do.

Amu giggled awkwardly. "Kukai, did Akimaru put you on steroids or something? 'Cause if he did, I think they're affecting your brain."

"Um… no, I'm not on steroids… Schnukums…" My brothers couldn't hear the other end of the conversation we were holding, but they could pull enough from it to understand what was going on. They found my response to Amu's question absolutely hilarious and each had a very hard time holding back their laughter. Don't understand why they were trying to. Maybe because they wanted to be able to hear what humiliating thing I was going to stay next?

"Uuuuh, then I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I'm guessing it has something to do with your brothers?"

Oh. My. God. How did she guess that? I loved this woman, I really did. Only she- aside from my parents- would be able to conclude that based on the situation. "How-? …Wow. You really do get me, Amu."

The line was silent for a couple of seconds before she spoke again. "Was that another thing you're brothers made you say, or is this one real?"

I laughed, and my brothers all gave me questioning looks, considering it wasn't one of those awkward laughs out of embarrassment. "No, that one was all me. It's like I said: 'My burning love for you makes me say and do some crazy things.'" I put sarcastic emphasis on the repeated line my brothers had made me say. Amu could tell I was joking around, and started to giggle uncontrollably. I laughed a little bit along with her. But I only got to laugh for a few good seconds, because with the next words uttered, I was frozen still.

"That's right Souma, keep on laughing. 'Cause that's what Rima and I will be doing for the next ten years whenever we think about what you just said." The horribly familiar sound of Utau's voice and the mentioning of Rima's name were enough to make me drop the phone- so I did.

"Kukai-! What are you doing?" Kaido yelled from his spot on the couch. "Pick the phone up!"

In a state of slowed shock, I bent down and picked up my cell at a snail's pace. When it was finally in my hands again, I held it up to my ear only to hear Amu's frantic, but slightly amused, 'Hello? Hello?' and Utau and Rima's wretched laughing. I swear they sounded like dying hyenas.

"Kukai, are you there?" Amu asked, a giggle or two peaking their way through her words. The fact that even she was laughing was almost too much to bare.

"Y-yeah, I'm still here… I just can't- when did they… H-how did they-?" None of my sentences completed themselves. I was too stunned and… and just horrified to speak correctly. I started pacing, wondering how in the heck I was ever going to get out of this crap. Eventually I paced right over to a wall. For a second, I stared at it, still contemplating what to do.

"Kukai?" Amu called my name again, and it's her voice that drove me to do what happened next. Without even thinking, I slammed my head against the wall, my fist quick to follow. Repeatedly, I banged on the wall next to my right ear and the phone that was held up to it. "Whoa, what are you doing?" Amu yelled as I kept banging.

"I think he's lost his mind," Utau muttered into the phone.

"Now this is true comedy. That's probably the hardest I've laughed all year," Rima spoke for the first time since Amu had picked up the phone. I hit the wall a little harder. It was nearly impossible to make Rima laugh. Hearing that this was the funniest thing she had experienced all year, only made me realize this was much more embarrassing than I originally thought it would be. I groaned loudly and stopped pounding on the wall.

Turning around so that my back faced its not-so-smooth-anymore surface, I leaned against said wall and slid down it till my butt hit the floor. I brought my hand up to my face and placed it over my eyes, slowly dragging it downwards till it reached the junction of my chin and neck.

"Hey, Amu? I… gotta go… See ya later?" I asked Amu solemnly.

"Go? Why? –er…" That was possibly the stupidest question she could've asked at that moment. But seeing as this was Amu and she was my fiancé, I forgave her. Plus, she did seem to realize her mistake. I glanced over at my brothers. Rento and Shusui looked thoroughly amused, while Unkai seemed a little bit confused and Kaido just looked down right annoyed.

"Because if I don't go now, I think each one of my brother's might strangle me for a different reason. Bye." I didn't give her a chance to protest a second time. I didn't wanna leave any room for further humiliation.

"Okay, see ya," she replied.

"B-ye, Souma," Utau said with a cutesy accent that really just made her voice sound creepier than normal. I shivered.

"Bye," Rima was the last to speak before I clicked the 'end' button and disconnected from what was possibly the worst conversation I've ever had over the phone in my life. The one I had with Tadase and the blonde she-demon a couple weeks ago wasn't even this bad…

I stood up from my spot against the wall and walked over to the couch where all my brothers sat. "Weeeelll… I know at least two of you are planning choke the truth out of me, soo…" Before finishing my sentence, I made a break for the stairs. Not even a split second later were the other four Souma boys up and chasing after me, thundering up the steps like a heard of wild buffalo on a stampeding rampage.

"KUKAI, GET BACK HERE!" Rento yelled from the back of the pack. I glanced over my shoulder to look at them, but wish I hadn't. They looked blood thirsty and vicious.

"Heck no!" I yelled back to him and the rest. When I reached the top of the stairs, I banked left and made for my old bedroom. Yanking the door open, I rushed inside and slammed it back behind me, locking it in the process. Just in time too. My brothers crashed against the door right as it closed. I pressed all my weight on it, trying to keep it from budging. Though I knew it was pointless. One measly locked door couldn't keep out all of my older brothers for long. Eventually, they would get through, and when they did, I'd be a dead man.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

'Souma Kukai 425-7597: disconnected' was displayed on the screen of Amu's phone for a few seconds after Kukai hung up before disappearing. "…Great. Thanks to you guys, I probably just lost my fiancé!" she yelled into her phone at Rima and Utau who were still on the line.

"It's not our fault. We can't help it if he chooses to do stupid things before checking to see if he's sharing a line with more than one person. Really, he and his brothers are the ones to blame," Utau said nonchalantly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah," Rima agreed with her, which was, despite the circumstances, really unexpected.

"Whatever," I grumbled back at them. "You two are terrible."

"We know we are," they replied in unison.