7.

Alternapalooza was guarded by an impromptu car park, large and varied enough to look like the car version of the elephant's graveyard. Beyond it lay a hodgepodge of tents and stalls and large stages where bands Daria had never heard of where blazing away. There was a smell of cooking food, sweat, mud, alcohol, and toilets.

"Okay, I'll admit it: I'm impressed."

Amelia and Rob jumped, startled by the sudden noise in their midst. It'd been half an hour since anybody had talked.

"Um…" Daria looked out the window to find something, anything to keep the conversation going. "I've got this feeling I'm going to stand out here. Can I borrow some of your hair dye, Rob?"

"No."

Things were going badly. They continued to go badly as the trio walked into the concert, right past the hordes of pierced rockers and alternative fans (alters?) who were having a blast, all love and laughter and life. Everything Daria was destroying was on display, a joke at her expense.

She wondered, against her will, if she would soon view Grove Hills with nostalgia. There, she had Amelia to write to; there was an escape. Where was she supposed to go when she'd pissed on that escape? (Jane? Who was Jane? How long would it last before she drove Jane away t-)

She forced her jaw to stay shut, outbursts and screams and cackles being forced back down her throat. She couldn't afford it, not now.

Jane and her party found them quickly – had they been waiting? – and everyone was spared the awkward silence. Rob and Trent high-fived each other on sight and Jane quickly offered for the girls to go do their own thing so the guys could hang.

"That five by five, sis?" asked Rob, glancing briefly (and suspiciously) at Daria as he talked.

Amelia said nothing, just nodded. She then blushed furiously when Jane put a matey hand on her shoulder.

"She'll be fine, we'll talk about make-up and cute guys and ponies. Feel free to drink and be manly!"

The guys headed off, with Trent's friend Jesse saying "whoa, when did Jane get into ponies?" as they went. The girl in question shook her head.

"And you can see why I wanted to hang with you two instead."

"So it wasn't my feminine wiles and ample bosom?" deadpanned Daria. "Well now I'm disillusioned. I can't trust anything any more."

"What is a wile anyway?"

"A stratagem intended to deceive. Feminine wiles include seduction and subtle manipulations. Masculine wiles are pointing at the sky and yelling 'look at that interesting thing up there!'."

"Wait until the drugs really start to circulate here, then that'd work. Except on Trent and Jesse, looking up requires movement. How about your brother?"

"I don't have-"

And then she realised Jane had addressed that question to Amelia. She'd forgotten Amelia again, after all the angst she'd forgotten her as soon as conversation started. And she'd shown it in public.

In front of Jane.

In front of Amelia.

There was no hiding it, she'd blown it again, she couldn't ever get things right not ever ever ever

"Heh heh, you think we can score some of those drugs? We could, heh heh, see if we can pee when high! Hur hur hur, I bet it, y'know, goes the wrong way or something, that'd be cool, hur hur hur hur."

Stop it they're staring stop it

"Whoa, check out the piercings on that dude! That's cool! Hur hur, you think if we pulled them out, he'd, like, spray everywhere and shrink? All the air coming out would be like his whole body was farting! Heh heh heh hur hur hur hur"

She was aware Jane was talking to her and that she was worried, but she could not hear what the girl was saying. And she was all too aware of the frightened look on Amelia's face, because it wasn't enough to leave her upset and lonely, she had to be frightening her too, of course she did –

Daria held back the outbursts, a hand pressed against a tidal wave, and tried to talk. Her mouth hung open for ten seconds and she felt like she was being throttled, but she managed to whisper a few words out in the end.

"I'm sorry. Amelia, I'm so sorry. I-"

She tried to run but tripped over her own feet and fell over. The ground hit hard and the tidal wave rolled forwards.

"Heh heh heh, dork! Hur, dude, look how muddy it is here, it rocks man! Hur hur heh heh!"

She continued on, watching herself on the inside like a ghost.

The outbursts had lasted three minutes. It had felt longer.

Jane was here but Amelia had gone.

"She's getting herself some lunch," said Jane. "I told her to get some, she needed the break."

Daria looked down at the mud stains on her jacket and skirt, not saying a word.

"You hadn't told her you had weird outbursts when you were nervous, did you."

She shook her head.

"And I'm betting you got set off when you realised you weren't including her, right? Got freaked out that you were doing it?"

Nod.

"I'm good at reading people. Well, sometimes. Thing is, your amiga isn't so she thinks it's her that's setting you off. She also thought you were going insane and couldn't be cured." She took one look at Daria's expression and grabbed her. "Hey, stay with me. We don't want a repeat."

"I've really messed things up."

"Kinda. But if you realise that, you can fix things, right? The answer to that is 'yes', by the way."

"How?"

"Well, you say to Amelia 'sorry' and then tell her what's really going on. I hear that's how it's normally done."

"Hey, Amelia, it's not you causing the outbursts, it's that weeks of isolation and unending misery caused me so much mental damage that I automatically retreat into idiocy – idiocy based on two dumbasses who were the closest thing I ever had to friends, who couldn't even remember my damn name – rather than face difficult or painful situations, and I thought running away from school would stop it but it hasn't and I am permanently damaged goods!"

Jane was quiet for a second, then tried to smile. "It's a start, could do with a redraft. Few more pauses for breath so you don't fall over."

"I can't say that to her. I can't."

"Afraid she'll reject you? She's your friend."

"I..." Daria took a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm her friend."

"Ah." She shrugged. "If it helps, I like you. You're funny, you're on my wavelength, and you're getting upset when you realise you've wronged someone. And because I like you, I can give some advice for the incredible low price of buying me an Ultra Cola. Ready?"

Nod, nervously.

"Say sorry to her, give her the same explanation you gave me, actively work to keep her in conversations, and... one other thing..." She waved her arm, sweeping in the whole festival. "Remember where you are and rock out! Same goes for Amelia. I can teach you, young Jedis, my brother raised me on MTV."

"He can't have. You can string sentences together."

Smile. "See? Climbing outta the funk already. Now come on, let's find our friend."