Here Today Bully Tomorrow

by Snark-N-Moon

Baljeet and Buford were off on their own adventure, when their fun was interrupted by none other than a newcomer named Larry. After losing bullying territory, thanks to the Bully Code, Buford goes to Phineas and Ferb for help. And hey, where's Perry?

7. I Think Therefore I'm Not

"Here Today- Bully Tomorrow"

BY: Snark

DISCLAIMER: The author does not own "Phineas and Ferb", nor its characters. No profit is made from this work of fiction. Any chance that the work is portraying the likeness of real people and or places is merely coincidental. My nostrils whisper to me. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave a comment. If you wanna- (SMACK!) , leave a comment.

~0~0~0~

CHAPTER SEVEN: "I Think Therefore I'm Not"

~0~0~0~

"However brilliant an action may be, it should not be accounted great when it is not the result of great purpose."

~ Duc de La Rochefoucauld

~0~0~0~

Meanwhile, back in the backyard of the Flynn/Fletcher household, Buford closed his book in frustration.

"GRR! This ain't working!"

The sudden break from the silence startled the others. However, Phineas was the first to recover as he thoughtfully considered the bully's words.

"Hmm, yeeeah. I guess eleven minutes isn't enough time to train your brain either. Good thing we always have a backup plan! Ferb, if you please."

The older of the two brothers dug into his pants pocket, searching for an unknown object. In seconds he was pulling out a remote and pushing the giant single red button. Gears whirled and clanked as a hole in the yard began to form. Rising up on an elevator was something that caused Isabella's jaw to drop.

"Um, Ph-Phineas…What's THAT?"

Sitting in the middle of the yard was an old fashion electric chair. The very same and horrid invention used for lights out for many criminals and naughty people. It was quite natural that it would make anyone nervous.

Phineas Flynn laughed.

"Haha! Oh, don't let the look of it fool you. The design is just Ferb's quirky sense of humor. It's really harmless. No, we call this our 'Brain Charger'. We made it earlier."

Buford glared.

"Wait…then why didn't we just use this darn thing in the first place?"

The boys fidgeted.

"Weeeeell…To be honest, we kinda consider it cheating. Where is the fun if you take the easy way out?"

"So does that mean I'll be as smart as that light bulb guy?" Van Stomm paused. "Einstein did invent the light bulb, right?"

Ferb cleared his throat.

"Well, technically 'no' on both accounts. Edison creating the light bulb, and that we didn't see the logic in using the level of a physicist. "

The red head nodded eagerly in agreement. "Yeah, we doubted Einstein got into many fights anyway. No no, this thing isn't going to install the brain waves or thinking power of anybody. You will still be yourself. All it does is make it possible for the circuitry in your brain to make connections faster. "

"Say that in English, Dinner Bell."

"Um…that WAS in English. Maybe it's just better to demonstrate? Sit on down!"

Before the bully could argue, Phineas and Isabella led him into the chair and strapped him down. It was then that Buford started to sweat and second guess his decision. The red head put the helmet over the larger boy.

"This miiiight start to feel hot. We had to use parts from Candace's old Not–So-Easy-Bake Oven."

The moment the devise was places on Buford's head, the machine started to light up. And each second the helmet started getting warmer and warmer. In a matter of seconds the process was done. The Brain Charger dinged with completion.

"How do you feel?"

"Well, I don't think I feel smarter."

The female tilted her head.

"Does that mean it doesn't work? Maybe we should test him."

"Yeah, good idea!" Phineas smiled. "Buford, you're a bully…where would you take Baljeet?"

Buford was able to answer instantly.

"Slushy Dog. Tuesdays are 'Root Beer Bonanza' day. With every slushy dog you buy, you get a free root beer soda. I usually make 'Jeet buy me three or four of those suckers." He gasped. "Hey! It worked!"

"Great! Let's go to the mall to rescue our buddy then!"

As the gang was leaving the yard, the bully gave one final remark:

"Alright, but I'M leading this thing. It's MY rescue mission… And it ain't a rescue mission, it's revenge!"

~0~0~0~

AN:

Oh Buford, it's okay to care enough for somebody to want to rescue them. Admit that you are just an Ogre in shining armor trying to rescue his prince! ADMIT IT! …Or not. Meh. Anyway, I have no idea why I imagine Ferb having a bit of a dark sense of humor. Did he have one in the show? Maybe it's just because all my British friends I had seem to enjoy dark humor. Who knows!