A six year old Caleb is playing in the pool with Ben, Angela and Reilly as I roll up my jeans to my knees sitting down and placing them in the cool water. Suddenly my cell rings, as I take it out of my jean pocket and look at the number I recognize it immediately. I will always recognize the number-caller I.D or not.

For that was the mysterious number which showed on my cell screen once upon a time in Maluku and left me curious as to who it was when it answered-Angela had told me curiosity had killed a cat once but it didn't apply to the call. I don't like to remember that call but some things you cannot, not remember. So, you desperately try to block them out numbing yourself to the pain in the center of the matter.

Yet, desperate to never ever forget and while you know you can't, you're just as desperate to block it out and not think about it. But being desperate doesn't mean you don't think about it, you just try to fill yourself with the knowledge of better days and moments to come instead of letting that one day and moment that changed everything keep you from spiraling down ward.

Though, I found as one relearns how to live day to day life they find comfort in everyone in the people around them, small day to day matters or moments, and one another. To believe in something (like heaven or what have you) it gives you a type of strength knowing your loved ones are still around. It's not that irrational if you think about it Booth but actually made sense.

I could understand why people wanted to believe in heaven and that their loved ones were in a better place, they wanted hope. As I scientist I swore I couldn't have an open heart but Booth you showed me love. I believe in love now, and sometimes I almost could, could convince myself despite all the hard facts and logical arguments, heaven just may be real. It gave me hope and I could believe in hope. I swing my legs in the pool with my jeans rolled up to my knees as I answer my cell.

"Brennan."

"Someone wants to talk to you Brennan." Rebecca

"I did it!"

"What?"

"I passed my test I'm officially legal on the streets Bones, you better watch out."

"I'm sure you are an excellent driver." Booth Parker received his driver's license today. I hope he doesn't always have to be the driver like you. Though, I would irrationally love it, it he did.

"Of course I am. We should have lunch today at the diner with the boys and Angela…I can hear them in the background."

"It sounds like a plan Parker, congratulations. What time should we meet you?"

"If you leave now, you will probably get there a little after us. Probably, twelve thirty."

"See you in a few." Before I say anything to Angela and the kids I reminisce to one of those moments that I had found strength in another and more importantly the moment I found comfort in hope. I knowing you are irrationally still with us even though I don't believe in heaven or hell. I remember to when I had found you in another. I didn't even realize I was in need of such comfort and I fell apart in the arms of another and I felt so bad for him, so bad afterward.

I sit on the couch alone with a bowl of Mac N Cheese resting on my nine month pregnant stomach and push the food around in the bowl my thoughts elsewhere. I need to eat for our son, so I take a bite of the cold noodles. Booth I opened my eyes too late, only to find you were gone and you wouldn't be coming back. I miss you Booth, so bad.

I'm starting to talk to you more…I wonder irrationally at times if you can actually hear me? You can be happy wherever you are that I was right and talking to you even when you are out of site helps me, you make me see the world in a better way. Though, it's not enough Booth for when Rebecca called me in Maluku and told me what happened-that you were gone for good, I couldn't bring you back. That was the day everything had changed again.

We made love then you slipped out of my arms the next day at the airport, I didn't know if I could handle a whole year without you. I found out I was pregnant not a week or so after we landed in Maluku-we had created life Booth. I found out the next day in a phone call I don't like to remember or discuss that you had slipped out of my arms forever-the life we created would never know his or her daddy. That phone call had been made nine months ago and I had flown back to the states-we flew back. Everything has changed so much Booth, you know I don't like change, you know me in my entirety. What now?

People seem to be finding some comfort in the heaven you speak of but I don't believe it's real it's all in everyone's mind. YOU were my comfort, now where do I turn? How dare you leave me! Booth I told you I loved you that night! I opened my heart! Why did you have to go? "Why Booth?" I irrationally whisper aloud as I feel something slide down my cheek I quickly wipe at it and realize it's water, I hadn't even realized I had been crying. I inhale and exhale trying to clear my thoughts and gather my composure.

The phone rings the same number I had seen on my cell screen in Maluku and I want to cry again.

"Brennan."

"Hey Temperance, Parker wanted to know if he could come over for lunch he has something he wants to give you to."

"Of course."

"See you in a bit."

I hear the knock on my door and answer only seeing the ten nearing eleven year old Parker. "Where is your mom."

"She dropped me off she said she had some errands to run."

"You're mom said you had something you wanted to give me."

"Yeah, I will after lunch."

I reheated my Mac N Cheese and Parker ate his quickly. "You ate fast Parker, you should slow down next time it's rude to eat fast a long time ago the peasants had to eat very quickly if they wanted any food. It's also rude to cut your meat up in little bits before a meal because it is considered of low class and of peasents so they could eat quickly."

"You could just say I was scarfing it down as fast as a pack of hounds Bones."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means I ate to fast. You know like how a hungry dog gulps down his dinner."

"Oh, I understand." Booth I miss you, Parker explains things to me like you and calls me Bones like you but he's not you, not one bit at all.

I watch as Parker pulls out a box-I know that box. "These are my dad's…I took the Medal of Honor and his tags but, I thought cause I'm going to have a brother that you and he should have the others." He pushed the box across the table toward me, it sat in the center. I look at Parker gloss filled my eyes spilling over, damn hormones. Parker didn't need to see me cry I knew this. I pick one of them up. "That's the DSM (Distinguished Medal of Honor) the other is the Silver Star." I hesitantly pick up the Silver Star attached to the red white and blue ribbon. "It's for you and the baby, my little brother." I hadn't heard Parker as I stare at the cold Silver Star in my hand, it captivated me.

It was a whisper at first. "I told him not to be a hero." I was angry, angry that the God Booth believed in and thought was so wonderful had let him die-had taken him from me, from us. Silent tears cascade down my face as I toss the medal on the table. "I told him not to be a hero Parker! I don't understand it?" I got up and walked over to the couch. "I told him not to be himself!" I was hiccupping tears now and there were no warm arms to fall into.

"People can't change who they are Bones that would be like Dad telling you not be a scientist, it's who you are."

I had really finally lost it and in front of your son Booth. "But I did change, I opened my heart to love!"

Parker walked up to me as I sat on the couch and he sat next to me placing his hand on mine he lean his head into my side mumbling. "No Bones, you never changed who you were-that's who my dad loved is you. You just acknowledged a fact that opened your eyes to the truth, you kept a secret in your heart and you finally let it out." I wrap my arms around Parker and cry and cry hiccuping tears we hold onto each other. Suddenly, I pull out of his embrace grabbing his hand and putting it on my stomach. Hiccuping tears and loud crying has turned into silent tears which stream down my face.

"He is kicking." Parker looks up at my tear stained face and smiles a huge Booth smile.

"I can feel it, Bones!" I smile at him through my tears. "He is going to be great at soccer he can kick hard." I smile chuckling softly at the innocence in front of me, amazed. How did he make such a horrid moment turn around? I had lightly laughed at his soccer joke. Parker's hand on my stomach smiling through my tears as I realized in a way you were still here.

I had found you in Parker and you would be with me living through our son. Through, all the little moments and everyone around me and I realize it was going to be o.k. I had found hope where I thought it to be impossible. I found it in the innocence that stares up at me in a boy who wears your chocolate eyes and your smile. I had found comfort in Parker that I would see you again-in our son. Hope that tomorrow would bring better days and I exhaled smiling through happier tears as we felt our son and Parkers brother kick.

I see Parker and Rebecca sitting at a table in the diner-it was our table, but it's just a table now and that's o.k. While I will always remember our table and our moments, hold on to them. Our table wasn't walking throughout the diner toward Parker excited because his big brother was able to drive. He was ours, our moment to never be forgotten.

Our table and the moments it held could be forgotten if I ever fell sick with amnesia or Alzheimer's but our son-that moment that you shared with me-you lived on through him. We created not only life but history Booth which would never be forgotten. You and me would live on and that made me happy, and just so you know Booth I would do it all over again right from the beginning-everything.

Parker looks up after saying something to Caleb "Bones!" I get an ear to ear smile as I walk toward what I use to think of as our table but now my brain walks me toward our son. Our moments at our table were between us and Caleb was not only proof of every single moment, but a reminder that such moments existed. Parker gets up and hugs me.

"Mom Parker can drive, maybe he can drive me to school."

"We will see, Congratulations Parker."

"Thanks now lets eat some pie I'm starving." as we all celebrate over pie I smile, today was a great day.

I wrote this while a bit tired so I'm sorry if it was crap. It is what it is. Input is helpful...Brennan found comfort in hope despite logic arguments, that's always good.