A/N: We're nearing the end of this already. One more chapter and the epilogue. Hope you enjoy...
It was getting old. For a week, most of the residence hall were avoiding him. When he was spoken to it was only for college purposes. Dawn Marie had been nonstop with assignments and didn't have time to sit and chill in the evenings and when Torrie had free time, she spent it with Peter.
John still suspected that Peter had caused the truth coming out. There was no proof of his involvement, but he had the distinct feeling that Peter was behind it.
It had affected his budding relationship with Shelton. They were talking via text and John had told him what had happened, but John wasn't okay with being out there and being seen with another guy. Not yet, at least.
While it was frustrating, John put up with it. He would get the guys bumping into him when he was walking down the corridor either in the residence halls or outside the classrooms. There were whispers as classes started. The news had spread to everyone.
What got John was how this behavior the normal response in the twenty-first century. He had heard of sports stars coming out and supported by their teammates; why didn't he receive the same when he was a simple college lad?
And now, with a group project to complete, with the groups chosen by the tutor, he would be in hell. Everything about the project was giving John gut ache. Not only was he working with the guys who gave him hell for a week but he had to spend time in the trainer's room, which meant seeing Randy; and even if Randy wasn't about he would bump into Cody.
At the end of the lesson, John grabbed his books and left, not wishing to stick around. He would be completing the project by himself. The research didn't call for them to work as a group. It meant he would live in the library in his spare time, with five times as much research as everyone else. That alone would help him limit his exposure to the other students.
"Hey, John, wait up," Mark called after him.
John stopped in his tracks, his shoulders slumping, "What?"
"We're all meeting for coffee to lay out the research plan, you coming?"
"I don't need the research party; so much so I'll do all my research," John barked at Mark before turning on his way and heading down the corridor.
"Hey, fag, stop," Mark caught up with him grabbing his shoulder and turning him around and shoving him into the wall. "I don't want to work with you anymore than the others in the group, but we don't have a choice. Check your assignment guide, we get marked on teamwork."
John took a deep breath trying to hold his nerve, "I'll pass."
"Hey," Mark yelled, pushing him against the wall and this time holding there so he could not get away.
"Why can't you leave me alone?" John asked.
"Trust me, I'd like to never see you again, but we have to keep up appearances."
"You sound like an ex," John said trying to piss him off.
"Why you... How dare you..."
"Hey, Mark, you got this gay idiot on board?"
They crowded around him with stern looks so he couldn't disagree.
"Yea, I'm on board," he said before shoving Mark off his chest and following them all toward the cafeteria.
The research planning had been a nightmare. Anytime John had spoken and offered suggestions, the whole group had either ignored him as though he hadn't spoken, or told him to shut up.
His divided portion of the research was the least interesting and they would exclude him from the other areas. That meant he would study other areas in his own time, so he was no better working in the group than he would have been if he wasn't forced.
Over the past week, he'd tried talking to his friends, Dawn Marie and Torrie, but having not been through something similar, it was hard for him to get advice. When he'd tried talking to Shelton on the other end occasion they'd spoken, he was full of clichés. When John asked about how he came out to his friends, Shelton admitted it was easy, everyone supported him and his life didn't change. Except that his friends would try to set him up with guys.
It occurred to John that there was someone he could talk to, someone who told him he wanted to remain friends. But was he able to do it? Be friends with Randy while he still cared for. Talk to him about his troubles. Knowing he was seeing someone new. John was seeing someone, was it the same for Randy. It may not have become physical between them yet but John didn't see why it wouldn't in time.
John made his way over to the Training Center, it wouldn't hurt to see if he were there. He may be teaching. It had been a while since he'd kept up with his schedule. If he were, then John could pluck up the courage and ask for his advice.
He felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket and looked to see who was contacting him.
Shelton Benjamin: Want to meet up tonight?
John ignored it for the moment planning to go back to him later. He rounded the corner toward the Training Center, tucking his phone back in his pocket. He stood taking a breath before making his way to Randy's office.
John spotted Cody across the room working with a student athlete and one more person was in the room. He worked his way through the assessment tables toward Randy's office.
He knocked on the door and waited for a response just in case he was meeting a student in his office.
"John," Randy exclaimed shocked at the sight of John.
"Um, I was hoping..."
"John, hold that thought," Randy said putting his finger up and turning back. "Do you mind if we catch up later? I need to speak to a student."
"Yeah, " John heard from behind Randy. "I'll see you tonight."
"Okay," Randy replied.
It hit John who Randy was speaking to. Before interrupting any further, he backed away and ran from the room.
"John, where are you going?" he heard Randy call from behind.
He ignored him and ran from the building toward his room. He had nobody. Everybody was against him, those supporting him didn't understand what he was going through.
Not even Randy was there for him.
The next day…
Back in his room with the door closed, John sank to the floor, burying his head in his arms, trying to hide from the world. Alone in his room, he felt like the whole world was watching him. Pointing and laughing.
John Cena was gay.
He stayed on the floor trying to hold back the sobs he wanted to release. The anger. Humiliation. Everything was going wrong; again. He was sick of how his life was full of drama. Why wasn't his life simple? Just once.
Since he got up and exited his room, he received jibes and barbs. Everything aimed at him. Everyone thought it was hilarious or disgusting that he was gay. No one cared about how the comments affeected him.
After seeing Randy, for however long it was, knowing the man had someone in his life and knowing it wasn't him. He had no one to care for him. John all but ran back to his room and hid.
Building up the courage to leave his room and go to the library was hard. He spotted Dawn Marie studying in the corner and avoided her. He also spotted everyone else looking up at him before whispering to their friend and looking over in what they considered a discreet move.
John had disappeared into the stacks and found the books he needed for his research and then disappeared back to his room. He wasn't as productive as he should have been, thinking about what everyone was saying behind his back. Though he took longer, he could get the research done and work on his other assignments.
That morning he woke and told himself it would be different, that the comments would not get to him, he would not hide and he would participate in his classes.
As soon as he was in the hallway it all started as it had previous days. He Xeroxed a few copies of his research notes and gave the copies to each of his group as he saw them. When he handed them over to Mark, he received a backhanded comment about his sexuality.
It got worse as the morning progressed. After being awake until early morning, the exhaustion was taking over and no amount of coffee was keeping him awake. His eyes drifted closed but the sniggering from the table next to him brought him back to the topic at hand.
He jumped out of his skin when there was a hammering knock on the oak door of his room.
Not wishing to subject himself to torment, he moved away from the door. He climbed onto the bed and curled up in the corner. The banging came again causing the door to rattle in its frame.
"John, I know you're in there," Dawn Marie hollered at him. "Please let me in."
He ignored her. If he ignored her, she would leave. Just like everyone else. She hammered the door for five minutes until he heard someone come up to her and tell her she wasn't allowed in the halls and she had to leave. John smirked at her come back to the guy but soon realized she had left when the hammering stopped.
"Fuck off, I'm checking on a friend," Dawn Marie hollered at the door before knocking again on John's door.
"And I'm trying to keep the peace," the guy said grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the door. "You shouldn't be in here, anyway."
"Why? Because I'm trying to support a friend who is being targeted because he's gay?" She asked.
"No."
"Right, like you aren't one guy who've been commenting and whispering since it got out that he's gay. He has a constitutional right to love whoever he likes. He doesn't need your acceptance."
"Listen, the reason you need to leave the building is because you aren't a guy."
"What?"
"It's guys only in this hall."
"Oh."
"I like that you care for your friend, and I'm aware of what's been going on, John has been hibernating in his room after yesterday's incident."
"Yesterday's incident?"
"You didn't hear?" the guy asked looking at her.
"Tell me."
The guy relayed everything he had seen and heard after class. He'd followed the group to the cafeteria and continued to witness their exclusion. Dawn Marie pulled her phone out and was dialing Torrie's number before the guy even finished explaining.
"Torrie, are you able to come over tonight?" she asked her friend. "No, John's freaking out."
The guy hung around and Dawn Marie turned away from him to have a private conversation.
"Have you heard he's gay? ... No, I mean as a rumor ... Thank God for small blessings but it's all over college. John is getting a load of abuse from the guys he thought were his friends."
She listened to Torrie go through her schedule and how she would be there as soon as possible. Dawn Marie turned back to the guy still hanging around.
"I will need your help later," she said pointing at him.
"Why's that?"
"I need you to let me and my friend Torrie into the building and then into John's room. Even if it's to drag him over to my building," Dawn Marie explained.
"Or, so we don't break the rules, I let myself into John's room and bring him down to meet you outside. At which point you can drag him to yours," he countered.
"I think my idea is better. He may freak out at the sight of a guy barging into his room for and dragging him through the building."
"True," the guy said. "I would like to escort you, though."
"Why? You got a thing for John?"
"No," he chuckled. "His friend."
"Torrie's taken."
"Wrong friend," he said with a smirk.
Three days later
Why did he have stubborn friends? John had sat there for two hours telling them he was okay and that he didn't them hovering.
"So, are we going out?"
"Let's go to the bar and get drunk," Torrie suggested with a sideways glance at Dawn Marie.
"I don't fancy it but you girls should go," John said pulling out the books he'd borrowed from the library.
"Well how about the cafeteria instead," Dawn Marie suggested. "You haven't eaten."
"I had food at lunch," he rebuffed before taking her hand and squeezing it. "I'm okay."
"That's not what I heard."
John hung his head. He wanted to keep to his own company and get his work done. If it prevented him getting a beatdown, then he had something positive in his day.
"Besides, no one would have believed the rumors if this had happened a month or two ago," John smirked at the girls.
"I've been in your room," Dawn Marie pointed out.
"No, you came to my room. I insisted on heading to your room," John corrected her.
"Whatever."
"So, what are we going to do?" Torrie asked, smiling at John. "Maybe we call Shelton and have him come over and make you feel better."
"Ha, ha," John said. "We're not there yet."
"Where are you?" Torrie asked wiggling her eyebrows.
"I'm not sure, but nowhere near there," John admonished.
He didn't know where he was with Shelton. He was a nice guy and there was potential, but he was wondering if it was enough. In the previous two weeks, he hadn't even considered contacting Shelton for support. He wasn't sure he would understand what it was like to go through it. Though he had never confirmed it, John realized that Shelton bullied kids at high school. That was one area John had prided himself on not being. He was a big guy by the time he left school. Played on the football team, but he never bullied. And if he saw his friends doing so, John would step in and tell them to behave. Friends here in college didn't sit with a bullying free zone.
"Girls, listen, I get that you are trying to make me feel better but I would rather bury my head in the research project. There's a lot to read," he said pulling a book off his shelf.
"I thought it was a group project?"
"Tell them that. I did my research and provided them the notes, had nothing back from them."
"Report it to the lecturer."
"Yeah, because that will help my current situation. Not to mention this isn't kindergarten. You don't run to the teacher because they won't let you play with them," he said getting snarky.
"Then have out with them," Torrie said.
"It's easier right now to keep to myself." John bit back. He didn't like drama, no matter how much it always finds him. "Can you leave me to study, please?" He hoped the little sad whine he put on the end wouldn't go against him.
Dawn Marie looked at him and then Torrie before nodding her agreement.
"Okay, but just remember no one else's opinion matters. If guys make you happy, that's all that mattered," Dawn Marie promised.
"Yeah, this will all blow over as soon as the next scandal takes place," Torrie said backing Dawn Marie up. "Just like high school, it will disappear overnight and they'll be your friends again."
John just smiled at the statement. He hoped it was something people moved on from. It gave him an idea for Spring Break.
Ten days later
It had been an expensive two-hour journey, and he was sure his brother would kill him. Not just because he wasn't in college but because he had spent two hundred dollars on a cab ride back to West Newbury.
It would have been even worse if he had gone to his parent's house, he would have had lectures for hours. With Steve, it would only be one at the longest.
When he got to Steve's apartment he sighed with relief, he was at work. He pulled his keys from his bag and headed around the building to the door to let himself in.
"Steve?" he called knowing he wouldn't get a response.
"John? What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Shit," John mumbled under his breath feeling all the tension tighten in his body. He was hoping for a few hours to get his story straight.
"It's Spring Break," he said hoping Steve wouldn't pick up on his lie.
"Try again. Spring break was last week," Steve scolded. "Your old schoolmates were home and causing trouble."
"Whatever," John mumbled trying to think of an excuse. He disappeared into the spare room to put his bag in there for later.
"Fine, don't answer, so my next question… why here and not mom and dad's?"
"Given the choice what would you do?"
"Okay, I'll give you that one," Steve said.
Steve dressed in his work uniform as he came into the spare room and watched John unpack.
"Where's your car?"
"Liz has it today, her car's having work done," Steve explained with a shrug. "Have you quit? Again."
"No. It's a relaxed week, so I figured I would spend some time at home and not feel so much pressure."
"Boy, you must think me a fool," Steve said imitating their dad. "I thought we were close."
"What? We are," John defended himself.
"Then when I get home later, you will tell me the truth."
"Okay," John said with a gulp he hoped wasn't too obvious.
At least there was a silver lining. He had half a day to produce a reason he wasn't at college. Something Steve would find believable.
He heard the front door open and close before mumbling to himself, "Why am I here? Oh, no reason other than I'm gay. The guys in my dorm found out and now I'm being persecuted. I didn't want the hassle so opted for a week out. Since the one person I want to go to above all others is someone, I can't because we were in a relationship and I fucked it up. Now he's moved on and I wish he hadn't."
It didn't make him feel better, but it helped him verbalize how he was feeling. Now he had to create something plausible to tell Steve.
"I missed your cooking," he said grabbing a drink from the fridge. "Might help if I say it without sounding sarcastic."
The next day…
Dawn Marie: Where the hell are you?
Torrie: You realize you're making it worse by running. Man up, tell them to fuck off. You are who you are and they can go fuck themselves.
Dawn Marie: Not to mention you lied. You told me you were okay. You're not. Asshole.
John: Love you but I need time to think. My brother won't let me stay here forever. I'll be back.
Truth was, he was lucky Steve hadn't driven him back as soon as he showed up. Last night, he'd had a reprieve. Steve had arrived home tired and not looking to talk and when Liz arrived, it wiped any chance for him to get questioned.
It gave John time to think and unable to think of a decent reason, John decided truth was the best policy and would tell Steve what was going on.
He wasn't sure how Steve would react but he was his brother and the most supportive of his family.
Dawn Marie: You still lied to me
John: I'm sorry.
Dawn Marie: Please don't let them ruin your life because they're immature.
Dawn Marie knew just how to pull his strings. How could he give in to the torment when he had a friend like her? With her by his side as a friend, he wasn't about to let jocks affect his future.
What made it worse for him, was a month ago, they were his friends, included him in everything and now, because they knew his sexuality, they treated him like crap.
Having friends like Dawn Marie and Torrie made him grateful for their support. And while he was, Torrie attended another college and it wouldn't help his predicament if he only hung out with a girl.
The next day…
Steve arrived home from work as soon as John finished with yet another text lecture from Dawn Marie. He loved how much of a fire cracker she was and how it contrasted to how shy she could be. Steve had yet to say anything to him except 'hi' as he changed out of his work gear and into some comfortable clothes. While John waited for the lecture, questions and stunned silence he would receive from his news, Dawn Marie's tag team partner started.
Torrie: You think running and hiding is the way to handle this?
John: Torrie I need some time out. A huge decision got taken out of my hands
Torrie: When are you coming back?
John: I don't know if I am. I have my books to study, though.
"Okay," Steve said handing him a beer. "Why have you quit this time?"
"I haven't quit," John said. "I'm taking a time out."
"Why?"
"Because someone at college told everyone I'm gay," John said swigging his beer hoping it would drown out the reaction he would get from his brother.
"And you think a guy who forgot he left high school should cause you to run away," Steve said. Either Steve had missed the point, or he wasn't worried. "Just tell everyone the truth. You know you're not gay."
Okay, he missed the point. John didn't have the guts to say the words again, so he looked at the bottle, picking the label.
"You're gay aren't you?" Steve said after a long silence. John could only nod his reply. "When..? Why..? How do..?"
"It didn't happen overnight, I didn't wake up and think, 'You know, I'm gay from now on'," John snapped.
"When did you realize?" Steve said flummoxed. "Is that the right way to ask?"
"Last year, sort of," John said. "I met someone I was interested in, but nothing happened until this year."
"Why?-"
"I didn't choose this," John snapped again.
"If you let me finish, I was asking Why didn't you tell me sooner," Steve snapped back and John sighed with defeat.
"I wasn't ready. I'm only just getting comfortable with the idea myself," John admitted.
"John, you know I'm there for you, no matter what," Steve said. "You should have told me. I could've helped you through this."
"I didn't know how. Part of me was still trying to deny it over the summer," John said.
"I can't wait to find out how mom and dad react," Steve said with a knowing look. While they weren't gay bashers, they weren't open to the idea.
"You can't tell them," John said. "I don't want them to know. Not until I'm ready."
"Okay, okay," Steve said trying to calm him down. "I wouldn't do that to you."
John spoke to Steve about everything that had happened this year, not just with his love life but also with his studies. They hadn't had many occasions to catch up, and he'd missed their chats. He felt bad for taking Steve's time away from his girlfriend, but Steve insisted it was fine and that Liz understood. It would give her a chance to spend time with her friends.
As they ate dinner, John told him all about Randy and how things had fallen apart between them. Steve told him to shut up when John mentioned the sex issue, turning his nose up at the topic.
"I don't want to know about your sex life, thanks," Steve complained. "Not over dinner."
John laughed at the reaction and moved on from the topic, telling him about his new love interest.
"Are you happy with him?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You couldn't shut up about this Randy guy, but you're low key with what's his face," Steve shrugged. "Makes me wonder if you would prefer to be with Randy."
"It's only been the last couple of weeks we've known each other," John shrugged.
"It's supposed to be exciting and fun at the beginning," Steve said. "Hell, even I couldn't shut up about Liz."
"So you think I shouldn't be with Shelton?"
Steve said nothing but John knew what he was saying. He had plenty of thinking time while he was here. He didn't want to rush things with Shelton but the truth was he was lying to him so he didn't have to sleep with him. If he was lying about that, what else was he willing to lie about? Not to mention he had a niggling feeling he was a short term thing for Shelton since he was planning on moving to New York. His reaction to John stopping it last week wasn't great either.
The next day…
While taking a break from his assignment and revision, John loaded the browser on his brother's computer and navigated to the website of the local college.
While he lay in bed not sleeping the night before he considered transferring at the end of the year. At least he would only have two months of torment. It would also mean he could get a part time job. West Newbury was a lot smaller than Springfield and he could get about quicker.
There were several people he would miss; Dawn Marie and Torrie, some of the lecturers… Randy. Though he suspected it would be easier to move on without seeing Randy going about his business and loving another man.
They both had the others' number and had agreed to remain as friends, however, neither of them had contacted the other. Randy had moved on with no reason to contact John.
It worked both ways. John could have picked up the phone and called him or messaged him.
Then there was Shelton. John hadn't spoken to him since leaving campus. In fact, he hadn't thought about him much either. And Steve's comment was playing on a loop in his head. He wasn't craving Shelton like he was Randy… still.
John sighed, knowing what he had to do. John shouldn't lead Shelton on as though they could be more.
It was never nice to end a relationship and it shouldn't happen over a text message but he didn't have a choice.
John: Sorry for the silent treatment. Had to do some thinking. I'm staying with my brother.
Shelton: Does he know?
John: Yeah. Told him last night. Shocked but supportive.
Shelton: Good. Glad everything has worked out.
John: College was still bad. I'm considering transferring to my local community college.
When he didn't get a reply, John figured he was in class or somewhere he couldn't message back. It almost made it easier to send the next message.
John: It's hard for me to say this… I don't think we should see each other, it's not fair on you.
John waited for a reply when he didn't get a quick reply he returned to his studies. He could understand the reaction but hoped that Shelton would have been more grown up about it and acknowledged him.
He focused on his studies realizing it wasn't just Randy's physique and good looks he liked. Randy was more mature.
Later that evening as the guys watched TV there was a knock on the door which Steve answered. A female voice John recognized greeted him.
"Torrie?" John checked coming through from the living room.
"You are in big trouble John Cena," Dawn Marie pushed passed Steve and Torrie to get in John's face. "You bailed after you promised not to do anything stupid."
"She's right, you always do this, you run and hide from your problems," Torrie said jabbing John in the arm.
"Well, excuse me for not sticking around and being persecuted," John said in defense.
"You know these girls?" Steve asked looking amused.
"Yeah, and they're bad enough when it's just one of them, let alone when they get together and gang up on you," John said rubbing his arm. "How did you get here, anyway? Not to mention how did you know where Steve lives?"
The girls quietened and couldn't look at John.
"Yeah, about that," Torrie said still avoiding eye contact.
"Well, we knew," Dawn Marie said struggling for words. "We knew you wouldn't listen so we…"
John looked passed Dawn Marie as the tall figure stepped into the doorway.
"Randy," John said hating the way he sounded breathless.
"This is Randy?" Steve asked.
"We would have been here earlier, but we weren't allowed to leave campus until after class," Dawn Marie said throwing Randy an annoyed look.
"You told your brother?" Torrie asked looking proud of him.
"Kind of hard not to considering the circumstances," John said still looking at Randy. He was staring, almost. It had been a while since he had seen him and unless mistaken Randy was looking buff. "Why don't we head round to the pizza joint, get you something to eat and give Steve some space. Let me get my jacket."
Steve followed him through to the guest room and gave him a look before commenting, "You didn't say he was older."
Even though he wasn't talking much, John was enjoying the time with Torrie, Dawn Marie, and Randy. Randy was almost as quiet as him but gave it back to the girls when they tried to complain about leaving college earlier so they didn't arrive late. Randy reminded them he was a member of the faculty and couldn't just up and leave his classes.
While the girls talked, he considered his brother's words, he was hooked on Randy and seeing him again made his heart beat faster than it ever did with Shelton.
He watched Randy take the final slice of pizza when the girls declined it and Randy, having felt eyes on him, looked over and smirked at him.
"Why don't we do a trip to the ladies?" Torrie suggested to Dawn Marie nodding her head to John and Randy.
"Oh right, yeah," Dawn Marie said with a flirtatious look. "Behave boys."
"Is this there normal behavior?" Randy asked after they disappeared.
"Most of the time," John smirked looking toward the girls.
They sat in silence not knowing where to start, notwithstanding of John's crisis. It was finding the words that proved difficult. Instead, he chickened out. "Why are you here?"
"Those two came to find me, damn near interrupted my class," Randy chuckled. "They told me what happened and asked for me to talk to you."
"How much did they pay you?"
"Nothing; I got my phone out straight away, but they stopped me calling," Randy shrugged. "They insisted on coming here and talking to you in person."
"At least we weren't seen together," John joked. "That could have been problematic."
"Whoever it was shouldn't have done what they did, but that being said, you shouldn't have run away," Randy said.
"I couldn't face it, or the guy I suspect," John said. "He told everyone something so huge and I wasn't ready."
"I understand but be the bigger person, face them and tell them, hey, this is who I am," Randy said. "It's hard but its empowering."
"Is that what you did?"
"No, I was in high school. Guys were younger, less tolerant of gay people, and I wasn't strong back then," Randy said smirking as he remembered. "I was a weed, tall and lanky."
"I can't picture you like that," John said smiling at the image. "Sounds like me in high school."
"Guess we both got buff," Randy said with a smile.
It became silent for another moment before the girls came back and declared they wanted to be shown around town before they returned to college, John included, no exceptions. Randy admitted he wouldn't mind looking around and so the girls called for the bill while they talked about their party plans for after finals.
After Randy paid the bill, John led them down the Main Street explaining there wasn't much to see since West Newbury was the typical Small Town America. The girls walked ahead giving the guys space and John felt the awkwardness slip back in.
"So, how's your boyfriend?" John asked anything to break the silence.
"Boyfriend?"
"The guy you were dating," John prompted. "I saw you drooling over him in the car park last month. You looked like you were persuading him to have sex against the car. Not to mention he was in your office the other week."
"Right, yeah, Christian," Randy said scratching the back of his neck. "I broke it off. He wasn't from Springfield so it got difficult to arrange dates."
"Oh."
"What about your guy?"
"Um, it's not that serious, we've only been on two dates," John explained. "And I sent him a message to say it was over."
"Not because of what's happened?" Randy enquired.
"No, I was talking to Steve earlier and telling him everything about you, us, Shelton, and he pointed something out which resonated."
"Can I ask what," Randy said.
"That I didn't shut up about you, but said nothing about Shelton," John explained.
Randy said nothing in reply and John figured he didn't know what to say, or that he worried about what he said and didn't want to confuse matters. John didn't say anymore either. Ever since Randy turned up, it was confusing him. He was trying to move on from Randy and didn't know if his presence was significant or the only person available to bring the girls over.
"How's work been?"
"I would use the word interesting. Cody's been weird, most of the year," Randy said thinking it through.
"I saw him before I saw you that day, I swear he'd been somewhere with a student," John said.
"The slime ball," Randy said a little too loud causing the girls to look back. John shook his head before continuing what he said.
"It's more than that. He seemed I don't know like he was ashamed," John said.
"He should be, simply because of he's a hypocrite," Randy sneered.
"No, I mean… if a student behaved that way you would consider reporting it," John said.
"Yeah well, if it were a student, there is a safeguarding responsibility, Cody's a grown man."
"I'm a student, are you going to report yourself," John asked. "I offered him the chance to talk, but he didn't want to. Maybe he would if it were you."
"I doubt it," Randy said.
"Yet you'll travel all the way here without question."
"I made them wait until after class," Randy said a little sheepish.
"Wow; is that supposed to prove something," John joked.
"Listen," Randy said stopping John and turning him to face him. John waited for him to speak but instead, they ended up just standing there. It was clear what they both wanted. What they always wanted to do. Randy was his weakness, or they were meant to be, John didn't know which.
"Randy," John said, as breathless as he'd been at the apartment.
"Fine, I'll talk to him," Randy said turning away from him. "If you promise to come back to college tomorrow. No hiding."
"Deal."
John looked around and realized they were hitting the end of Main Street. It wasn't the end of the world but they could go on forever and be in the next town if they continued walking. He called down to the girls, and they ran back to meet them going into a tirade about John going back to college. Randy rolled his eyes and told them to calm down because he'd already sorted it. And the girls complained that he'd taken their fun away. John laughed at the three of them before grabbing Randy by the arm and dragging him in front of them before he killed them.
Falling back into habits, he hooked his arm through Randy's as they walked and Randy pulled him closer, pulling his arm away and wrapping it around John's shoulders.
When the four of them got back to Steve's apartment John checked if Steve was okay with them staying. He didn't mind and offered the spare room to the girls.
"I'll get my stuff out of there and I can share the sofa with Randy," John said.
"Let Randy have the sofa, you can share my bed," Steve said giving John a look.
John could have cursed Steve for embarrassing him in front of his friends but he didn't get argue with him. He fetched his belongings from the spare room and dumped some of it near the door and threw the rest in Steve's room.
"Ran, do you want pajama bottoms to sleep in?" John asked to let Steve know he wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Randy.
"I'll make do with what I've got on," Randy said. "I can change at the college before tomorrow's classes but we must leave early."
"What classes do you take Randy?"
"Athletic Training and Exercise Science," Randy said nervously at the start of the inquisition.
"Steve, do you have spare sheets?" John asked trying to distract his brother.
"Yeah, in the top of the cupboard in the spare room," he answered without turning away from Randy. "Is that how you met, through class?"
"No. We met through football," John interrupted, pissed off at his brother. "Ran, here's the sheets; sorry he doesn't have another duvet you can use."
John shot daggers at Steve, telling him to leave Randy alone and not to start an interrogation. He then turned his focus to the girls who were trying their hardest not to giggle at the protective nature of John's brother.
"How about we all head to bed," Steve suggested, moving from the doorway of the kitchen to his room.
The girls disappeared into the spare room leaving John alone with Randy.
"I'm sorry about Steve," John said taking a seat next to Randy and relaxing against him.
Randy smirked and slung his arm around John, pressing his lips to John's forehead, "He can be protective."
"Yeah, but not in front of my friends," John said tilting his head back to look up at Randy. "And not to you. I don't need protecting from you."
"He might think otherwise," Randy said trying to stay neutral and understanding. "Big, bad, older Randy is after his little brother."
"You're not old," John said. "And less of the little."
Randy just stared at him with a deadpan face saying he wasn't amused. John missed how serious Randy could be, in fact, he missed the way he made him laugh and joke around while he was being so serious. John figured Randy needed that in his life. He'd learnt over the first year that Randy was someone who took the world too seriously and needed a release.
"In fact, I think you'd agree I'm-"
"John," his brother interrupted. "You should get sleep if you have to leave early."
"Yeah, right," John said rolling his eyes as Randy chuckled at John's reaction. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Night."
John moved through to his brother's room and gave him daggers for interrupting him and Randy. All they were doing was talking, so he suspected he could have got Randy to kiss him if they'd been out there together any longer. After using the bathroom to change into his night clothes, John climbed into bed, feeling weird sleeping in the same bed as his brother after so many years. He hadn't done that since he was young and his parents had brought home their younger brothers.
He kept quiet, hoping that Steve was already asleep. Steve's supportive nature from earlier in the evening had disappeared when Randy showed up and Steve acted more like their dad would have been doing if he were there.
"I can't believe you like older men," Steve said and John heard the way he was screwing up his face as he spoke.
"Stop making it sound perverted. He's only ten years older than me," John said rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling.
"Oh, only ten years, well then that'll get a different reaction when mom and dad meet him," Steve chided him.
"You promised not to tell."
"And I won't, but you must tell them at some stage, and they'll want to meet your boyfriend," Steve chided.
"He's not my boyfriend," John corrected him with a sad undertone.
"Could have fooled me," Steve said in a childish manner.
Torrie and Dawn Marie fell asleep in the back of the car as soon as they hit the interstate leaving John keeping Randy company for the early morning drive. Randy had planned to detour via Torrie's college but everyone agreed she could head back over during the morning since she didn't have a class until the afternoon.
Randy had put the radio on low to have some background noise and to help him and John stay awake after their early start. It wasn't a long drive to Springfield but with college starting early for most of them then they needed to get there on time. Randy had classes to teach and John and Dawn Marie had their classes to attend. It would be irresponsible of him to let them miss class and his own.
"I need to head home before college. I need a shower and to change," Randy whispered not wanting to wake the girls.
"You could've had one at Steve's," John said puzzled.
"That would not happen. For one, I didn't have a change of clothes for me," Randy said looking at him. "Second, I think your brother wants to murder me."
"The annoying big brother," John said smiling. "You probably enjoy tormenting your sister."
"I've already missed my chance," Randy commented. "She got married the year before last. Already made me an Uncle."
"Do you want kids?"
"I came to terms with not being able to have kids a long time ago," Randy shrugged.
"What do you mean? You can adopt," John said pointing out an option. "Or, aren't there guys who use a surrogate mother."
"Both viable options, ones my mom reminds me of each year, just after my birthday as though to remind me I'm getting older," Randy chuckled. "But unless my situation changes, it won't be happening for a while yet, and then I'm not sure I'd want to."
John didn't push the subject, it was a personal choice.
"What about you?" Randy asked breaking the silence.
"I don't know. It depends on which way my life goes," John shrugged. "I've never thought about it."
They drove in silence for a while, just the music playing in the background.
John considered what he was facing as he returned to college. Would everyone still point and laugh at him? What was Peter going to be like? How was John going to react when he saw him? He ran through so many scenarios in his mind, his stomach tying in knots at the thought of it. John didn't want to face them and be the laughingstock or alienated from his friends because he liked guys over girls.
He thought back over the last two years and how he'd hidden his sexuality from his teammates, his family, his roommate and himself. Not wishing to acknowledge that it was true. Randy was the only one aware of his battle. Chris had supported him even without knowing it, pushing him toward Torrie made him notice his lack of reaction.
He pulled his phone out his bag and brought up his messages. If he was out, he would share it with Chris. It was only right to do so.
John Cena: Hey Chris, how's it going in Canada? Need to tell you something which I should have told you last year… I'm gay. Didn't want you finding out through the rumor-mill.
John sat there for a few minutes waiting for a reply. When he didn't get one he put his phone in his pocket and slumped back into his seat. He thought Chris would have shown support, they were friends and roommates last year.
"You all right?" Randy asked seeing John becoming despondent.
"Yeah," John lied.
"I don't believe you, but I won't push it," Randy said reaching over and taking his hand.
"Do you still like me?"
"Yes," Randy said shrugging like it was no big deal to admit it.
"Can we give it another go?"
"I want to say yes…"
"But?"
"Can we go on a date? Actually, go out this time."
"If you want," John shrugged trying to play it cool, though he suspected Randy saw through it.
When they made it back to campus, Dawn Marie and Torrie headed toward Dawn Marie's room, thanking Randy for their help and for driving all that way and back.
John exited the car, apprehensive what was in store.
"Is there anything you do for luck?" John said heading for the rear of the car.
Randy said nothing, just met him by the trunk of the car. He cupped John's head, holding him still before leaning in and kissing him. Something so simple lit John alight with desire. It had been months since he felt Randy's lips. He felt more confident and secure. He didn't care who saw. If they got in his face, he'd push back right into theirs.
Randy pulled away from him to open the trunk of his car, getting John's bags out.
"Did you pack your whole wardrobe?"
"No," John defended his packing. "I took my books to study."
"A responsible person wouldn't have missed class."
"Yes, Mr. Orton," John teased.
"Do not sass me," Randy warned, though he had a hint of a smile.
"Can I stay at yours tonight?" John asked changing the subject.
"No," Randy said closing the trunk and grabbing his own bag from the front of the car.
"Why?" John complained.
"No more running and hiding," Randy admonished him. "If the whole college knows then most don't care, be open with your affections and don't be ashamed of your sexuality."
"Okay," John breathed before pinching a kiss out of nowhere. "If I promise not to hide, will you promise to talk to Cody?"
"I promise," Randy said with a smile. "Now go before you're late to class."
He steeled himself when he entered the halls, moving as fast as he could with his bags and ignored the looks of those he passed in the corridor. Let them think what they like, he didn't need their approval.
He sighed with relief when he got to his room and let himself in. He chucked his bags on the bed, still messed up from the night he left, as his phone vibrated.
Chris Irvine: Dude I was sleeping. Hot babe from last night in my arms right now. So, you worked up the guts. To be honest I suspected. Do you have a crush on Orton cause I so thought you did last year?
John Cena: Yes, and yes… please tell me you've studied this year and not just met girls
His phone vibrated at the same time as he opened the door to leave, grabbing his bag and phone.
He opened Chris' message as he walked along the path to the main building and John laughed as he read the message.
Chris Irvine: Holy shit… was that dream real?!
John jumped out of his skin from the unexpected knock on his door. He'd been putting his books in his bag ready for class, determined to see another day of torment through. He'd found it easier now he had Randy's support. Not to mention he didn't stop the girls from helping him.
He rolled his eyes when he opened the door to find Dawn Marie with her book bag, "Walk a girl to the food hall."
"We must be careful, people might talk," John smiled holding his arm out for her to take.
"Yeah, people might think you're straight," she retorted.
As they head to the main building, John spotted Randy heading toward the Training Center at a quick pace, checking his watch. John smiled, Randy was such a worrier about being late that he was always ten minutes early.
"Stop gawking," Dawn Marie elbowed him, catching his line of sight.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed...