John waited for Thomas and O'Brien to leave but stopped Anna, Mrs. Hughes, and Mr. Carson from leaving the room.
"Mr. Bates is there a problem?" Mrs. Hughes studied his face and he remembered her kindness in helping him rid himself of the limp corrector, her genuine concern over his welfare, and her compassion toward him. He felt almost wounded to have to say what was on his mind now.
John closed the door and gathered his breath to face them, focusing on Anna especially. "In light of what Thomas and Ms. O'Brien have just tried to do I feel I must be honest with you."
"Is there some truth to their story?" Mr. Carson raised one of his distinctive eyebrows and John shook his head.
"Not to that story. As I said, I've never touched a drop of alcohol since I set foot here at Downton but that doesn't mean I never did." He half turned to Anna, "I was once a drunkard and I served time in prison for being a thief."
"I beg your pardon?" John barely heard Mr. Carson's bluster, so caught up in Anna's confused expression he did not care what the butler had to say.
"It was before I came to Downton and why I lost my commission with the army." He stood tall, "I swear to you that I've done nothing in this house for which I need be ashamed but there are things I've done in the past that have shamed me."
"But why would you steal?" Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "There's more to the story than just that."
"The situation is inconsequential." John closed his eyes, "I stole, I served time, and I was a drunk. That is all you need to know."
"Mr. Bates, given this new information, I will have to inform his Lordship and have him weigh in on the matter." Mr. Carson huffed, looking very confused.
"I understand."
"Is that all?" Mrs. Hughes cut in, stopping Mr. Carson bursting a blood vessel.
"It is."
"Then please go about the remainder of your evening." She waved John toward the door and he nodded.
John left the room, heading for the courtyard. The air bit at his exposed skin but he needed it, needed that cleansing feeling of cold to give him the strength to face the reality that he may not stay at Downton much longer. He relished the way it crackled in his lungs. He deserved this kind of pain.
"Bet you regret not reporting on Thomas before now."
John pivoted to see Aphrodite lounging on a stack of crates. "You've been away awhile."
"Been busy solving a problem for you." Aphrodite waved a packet in the air, "I have here a notice that says you're almost a free man."
"What?"
"I told you, last time we chatted… well, second-to-last time we chatted, that I had a few friends helping me find your wife." Aphrodite came over to put the packet in his hands, "I got her to sign the documents necessary to agree to a termination of marriage. It took some cajoling at the public records office and a very nice lawyer, and a not-so-nice judge, but it's all processed. In two weeks you'll get a telegram telling you you're free of that harpy for good."
"But where will they send the telegram?" John did not even open the packet, just sat on a crate. "I may not even be here."
"Stop being so defeatist."
"How can I be anything else?"
"Lord Grantham's a good guy. Not always the brightest and definitely traditional but he knows you and he's not just going to buy that you got drunk and went on a thieving spree."
"I'm a danger to the reputation of this house." John hung his head and Aphrodite made a noise.
"Hmmm, in different circumstances, about ten years from now, members of the staff of this house could form a band called the Jailbirds."
"What?"
"Nothing." Aphrodite sat next to him on the crates, "Point is, people are better than you give them credit for and if you give them a chance to rise above they usually do. Your problem is you never give them the chance. You always assume that everyone thinks the worst of you and then you decide the quickest way to win is not give them a chance to prove you wrong and quit."
She tapped the packet, "Don't jump ship quite yet. You may have time for surprises you actually like."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Aphrodite looked over as the door opened, "Really."
"Mr. Bates?" John turned and caught the flash as Aphrodite vanished from view. He used his cane to stand as Anna came outside, shivering as her breath puffed in the cold. "Mr. Bates?"
"Anna?" He waited as her eyes found him in the dark and came toward him.
"What you said in there-"
"I understand if you think poorly of me."
Anna shook her head, "Of course I don't. I told you once, and I meant it then, that no matter what you tell me about yourself I'd never think the worse of you. It was true then and it's true now. Especially now."
"You mean now that you know I am a thief and a drunk?"
"You mean now that I know you once stole something and used to drink?" Anna crossed her arms, keeping her shivering body huddled for heat. "I think there's more to the story than you're saying and so does Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes."
"There's nothing else."
"You're lying, Mr. Bates." John's jaw almost dropped at Anna's forwardness. "You're lying because you're noble. Just like you wouldn't tell Mr. Carson who really nicked the wine you won't say now who really stole the silver because, for some reason, you feel responsible."
"I was."
"Not the way you say." She kept quiet a moment and John could hear her teeth chattering. He removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She tucked herself into it, her nose going to the lapel and smelling a moment before she met his eyes. "Will you really leave?"
"I doubt his Lordship wants a thief in the house."
"So you'd leave because of a past theft but let Thomas, a true thief, go free?"
"It's not my place to dictate what happens to Thomas."
"Then you, Mr. Bates, are acting a coward."
John hung his head, "Maybe I am."
"Mr. Bates-"
"Go to sleep Ms. Smith and dream of a better man."
"I can't." Anna insisted and John raised his head, "Because there isn't one."
John could barely breathe as Anna stepped closer to him. She swallowed, her eyes focusing on his lips. He thought about saying something but then her hand touched the side of his face and he was silenced by the electric thrill that ran through his body.
She kissed his cheek first, pulling back for only a moment. When their eyes met she surged forward and kissed his lips. That was when time stopped.
John could not react. He was too lost in the feel of her lips on his that he could not think. Anything beyond the sensations she sent zinging through him, even something as simple as breathing, seemed to take too much concentration away from the best feeling of his life. This was all he wanted to ever happen ever again.
Something kicked at the back door and Anna broke away, looking for the source of the sound. She gasped but John put his free hand out, wrapping around her shoulders when she moved away. He pulled her toward him and she came easily. He bet his head to take her lips with his again.
This time, with his hand at the back of her neck, he controlled the motions. She whimpered slightly into the kiss, bringing her hands to his cheeks, jerking him toward her. And when he ran his tongue over her bottom lip she sucked at it with all the fervor of someone trying to breathe him in.
John almost lost all sense as she moaned into his mouth. His hand went up into her hair, gripping lightly at the golden strands there. One of her hands moved to the back of his neck while the other gripped his waistcoat, urging him forward. He tried to adjust his footing but just fell slightly sideways onto the crates.
Anna gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, before giggling uncontrollably at the sight of him akimbo in the crates. He laughed as well, taking her hand as she helped pull him standing. "Serves me right for kissing you like that."
"Mr. Bates I'd take a tumble into a stack of crates any day for the chance of you kissing me." Anna took his hand and they walked back toward the door, "And I do hope we do it again very soon."
"Well," John stopped them right by the door and placed a kiss on both of Anna's cheeks before he put another chaste one on her mouth. "When I can kiss you in broad daylight, walk out with you like a gentleman courts a lady, and treat you with all the adoration you deserve, those kisses will be yours anytime you like Anna."
She smiled, "You finally used my name Mr. Bates."
"Because I'm almost free to do so." John looked up at the house, "I just hope I'll still be here when I can use your name."
"I have faith you will be, Mr. Bates."
"Then I'll rely on your faith until I have some of my own." He opened the door for her, "Best get back in before they catch us out of bed."
"I rather like the idea of being caught out of bed with you," Anna licked her lips, "Or maybe one day caught in bed with you."
John almost tripped over the doorway as she giggled her way inside.