Gah! I apologize for the time it took me to update. Busy busy busy!

But I'll try to get the next one in sooner.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor its character. Just the ones made up in this labyrinth called my mind.

x Fractured Hesitation x

Bleach © Tite Kubo

Fractured Hesitation © Dia de Luz

SIETE:

"A Breakthrough"

One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we'll need a new definition.

-Alvin Toffler

I had always thought myself as a more or less passive person.

I didn't get worked up over much, and I went through the motions of my life in steps. I worked hard some days, didn't bother with it on others. I drank almost everyday, and I more or less followed orders. But now, as I sat hunched over an assortment of papers, I found myself feeling very, very angry. I wanted to hit something.

Why this anger?

These little documents Boggnamo had given me stated facts that should have been given to me years ago, decades ago. I had finished reading these papers about two hours passed, and there I sat, brooding over my misfortune and stewing in my ill temper.

Ichigo and Yoruichi had been easy to ignore.

Quite frankly, I don't think they cared if I eschewed them as the plague, as long as the new shinigami got his training done. He was getting closer to his goal, I could sense it.

…Was I getting any closer to mine?

"Oi, you've been sitting there for a long time, Hazumi, what's goin on?"

Speak of the devil.

I lifted my black orbs, meeting tawny. I could feel the growth of his reiatsu, his determination. It was virtually palpable.

"I'm thinking, Ichigo. I know it doesn't come easy to you, but some actually use this thing called the brain."

He scowled, stabbing his sword into the ground and leaning on it. Guess he was done for the day.

"About…?"

I shrugged him off, "Important things."

"Such as?"

"Shinigami affairs."

"Which include?"

"Not you."

He snorted, plopping down beside me and leaning back against the rough boulder. It was quiet for a few moments, and I enjoyed the still atmosphere. Times like these I remembered Reizo and me, the older versions of us. He was calm and quiet and authoritarian-like. I was the bombshell. He used to take me to the cliffs and just relax. He taught me how to appreciate silence.

Then Ichigo ruined it, "Who are you?"

I didn't skip a beat. "You know who I am."

I wasn't going to have this conversation with him. He had heard on the bridge; he knew all he needed to. Just a name, face, and a title. No more depth. It would all be over soon, anyways.

"Vice Kido Chief…"

I nodded absently, setting the documents down and rubbing my sore eyes.

"You're strong."

He wasn't asking. Just trying to confirm?

…I'll let you stew, Kurosaki.

"Whatever rocks your boat, Ichigo."

I felt his gaze on me, burning, scrutinizing. I hated being analyzed. It made me uncomfortable and nervous.

What if he found something he didn't like?

…Who cares if he doesn't like a part of me?

Well shit. I care.

Sighing, I rubbed my face with my hands, "I had a brother once, you know."

Where did that come from…?

He blinked, "Had…?"

I nodded, frowning at myself. What the hell was wrong with me?

I… wanted to share?

"Yeah."

And I found myself telling him about my two siblings and how we lived the crummy life. How Reizo was the eldest and smartest (to me, at least) and bravest and clever and serious, and how Hosyu likes to goof around but is really good with his work. How I see him almost everyday and we drink together and he tries to set me up and he sleeps around. "He bitches about everything, too. I don't think you'd like him much."

Ichigo was just there, listening with his brows pulled, eyes intent. It was like he could listen for hours. "Then Reizo went missing, about… well, over a century ago. I'm still looking, of course-" and there I stopped.

I swallowed something thick, and my throat tightened considerably. How many times had I talked about Reizo, and not once had I gotten choked up? And here I was, now getting upset, after so long. Jesus.

I tightened my eyes, "Hosyu doesn't like it. He says it's a waste. He wants me to give it up."

Here I lifted my gaze from the ground, meeting his eyes. "But I can't. I just… can't. You don't give up on family, Ichigo."

My eyes wavered, and I looked back down at my hands, lips tipping. I cringed away from him, suddenly so insecure and small. I didn't want to be judged. I didn't want to be branded as weak. Was I weak, for clinging to my brother after so many years? Should I have just let it go, like Hosyu said?

Then Ichigo said something, so surprising and so quiet that I thought I had imagined it. "I'll help you find him."

I blinked up at him, taking a minute to register what he had just said. "…Come again?"

He rolled his eyes, "Do I need to spell it out for you? I said I'll help you find him, idiot."

If there's anything left to find.

I shook my head, a little roughly, as if I could simply shake the thoughts out. "I couldn't ask you to do that."

He scoffed, "You're not asking. I'm telling."

I snorted a laugh, wringing my hands. "It's not that simple, Ichigo," I said softly.

He scowled, looking away, "I know."

It seemed that scowl was always painted on his face, like it was his signature expression.

Almost made me laugh.

"Why'd you stay?"

I popped my fingers, watching the shinigami wait for my answer.

I understood what he meant. Why did I stay and decide to help Rukia?

Why would I risk everything?

Why did I stay, huh?

My lips quirked despite my fragile mood, "Rukia's got other friends, you know. You're not the only one unhappy with the turn of events."

He looked at me for a minute, like he was gauging my expression, just watching, and then his lips turned, ever so slightly. He didn't look so bad, with that half smile. I made my way to my feet, stretching and gathering myself. "You should smile more often, Ichigo. You wouldn't look like you have to shit all the time, with all the strain your face goes through."

I started to walk away, giving myself a small smile, and a few seconds later I heard him jump up, "OI, WHO YOU CALLING SHITFACE?!"

"Getting your reserves back together?" Yoruichi stood next to my seated form, arms crossed, studying me.

I nodded absently, sticking my tongue out the side of my mouth in concentration. Because I used my reserve reiatsu when using the forbidden kido technique to escape Byakuya Kuchiki, I was gathering my reserves with a little sphere I had grabbed in my office the night before. The sphere helped my focus, and I watched as a dark blue substance swirled around the little ball, entering it in a smooth fashion, darkening the color as it slid it. I held it in my palm for a little longer, then relaxed, letting my hand go limp and fall to the ground.

There.

Yoruichi whistled lowly, "I haven't seen that in awhile. You still use old school techniques, huh."

I smiled ruefully, thinking about the good old days. So what if my techniques were a little outdated? I had what I had. I stood, popping my joints and cracking my neck, sighing.

There were so many things to do. And I didn't have much time.

"I trust your training with Ichigo almost complete?"

Yoruichi gave me a look, "Yes. Why?"

I turned my head, watching Ichigo with his zanpakuto. God, he was getting strong.

I looked away as my throat tightened, "Because it seems it's my time to go."

Yoruichi was silent, just staring at me with her leveled gaze, calm and cool. "It's about Reizo."

I cleared my throat, nodding. "Something's up. At first, I thought it was just my imagination. But it's not. For whatever reason he disappeared… the answer's in Seireitei. Somewhere. I'm going to find it, Yoruichi."

She slowly nodded, "And I can't stop you. But what about Kuchiki?"

My lips tightened, and I turned.

Rukia. She would be okay with Ichigo. "I'll be there."

Yoruichi didn't say anything for a few moments.

She knew I didn't plan on it.

She knew my agenda would help in the end.

I started to walk away. Yeah, Rukia's execution was important to me.

But Ichigo wouldn't let her die.

And I wouldn't let them die.

But Reizo's disappearance was so close. I had to confront it. I couldn't run away. I would be damned if I ran away.

All these years of searching. It was coming to an end.

"No goodbyes?"

I threw her a glance over my shoulder, offering a forced grin. "I was never good at those anyways. You know that."

Yoruichi approached Ichigo, her gaze set.

The boy was getting stronger. Just a little longer.

"That's enough for now, Ichigo. Get some rest. You're no use to us half dead."

He was breathing heavily, and he stabbed his sword into the ground, grimacing. "Yeah yeah." He looked around, swallowing. Beads of sweat were running down the side of his face, and he looked in his element.

By God, he was actually growing. Of course he would. He would reach Bankai and—

"Where's Hazumi?"

Yoruichi blinked, turning back to Ichigo. "She's gone."

Ichigo stilled, "What?"

Yoruichi sighed, shaking her head. "No need to be concerned. She's a strong woman, Ichigo. You forget she's been alive for centuries."

And she grew up in the slums, fighting for all she was worth. She was a scrapper.

Ichigo cleared his throat, turning his gaze, "I'm not worried. I just thought she was going to help with Rukia," he grabbed his sword, "but if she's just going to leave, then that's fine. I'll do it myself."

Yoruichi's eyes tightened, "She hasn't abandoned you, Ichigo. I imagine she's helping us a great deal. So stop your bellyaching. She wouldn't leave us after all she's done."

She turned, walking away. Ichigo looked at the ground, frowning.

Why would Hazumi leave, just like that?

"Rukia's got other friends, you know. You're not the only one unhappy with the turn of events."

She had said that so sure, so confident. No, she wouldn't abandon Rukia.

But what the hell was she doing?

"I'd never abandon him, Ichigo. I can feel it. Reizo's close. Maybe it's tied in with all of this. Maybe not. But I'm going to find out."

That's what she had said. She had sounded so dedicated.

She loved her brother.

Ichigo sighed. She's better not get herself killed.

She was just one more thing to worry about.

Ichigo blinked, startled. Since when did he start worrying about what Hazumi did? Since when did he start worrying about Hazumi?

But he knew.

When she had just hopped into the picture.

When she had saved his life.

He cared.

And he'd be damned if he got her killed.

Jump.

Left right. Swing.

God, this was taking forever.

I had forgotten how tight security was.

And it had been forever since I had last used my zanpakuto.

Kuria-Dei wasn't pleased with me, but I couldn't soothe her now. I needed to soothe myself.

Left swing.

Bingo! I rushed through the doors, heaving quick breaths as I sheathed my sword, flicking my gaze around. Seireitei was in a haze of panic. Aizen had died. Well, was murdered. But it wasn't right. Who would kill him? Him, one of the most amiable captains of the Gotei 13?

Him… His reiatsu was the one I had felt. I was sure of it. And that night when I was knocked out, sure I was hammered, but I remembered clearly. His reiatsu. And another.

They were mixed.

Clever, but not enough.

And surely they knew that.

I'm getting closer, Reizo. Just hold on.

"Sir, Nagasaki Hazumi has been spotted near the Shrine of Penitence, and is moving quickly. Waiting for orders!"

Hosyu sighed, rubbing his brow. Dammit.

"Where was she headed?"

"Central 46 chambers, sir."

Shit. She's onto something.

Hosyu stood, emerald eyes wary, mouth a tight line.

She was going to get herself killed.

Why couldn't she just leave it alone?

Reizo was gone. Hosyu knew for a fact he wasn't coming back.

Maybe he should have told Hazumi what had happened?

No. She would never forgive him.

She wouldn't forgive either of her brothers.

Hosyu had failed. And Reizo was just a prick.

No, let her believe Reizo was the greatest; let her stay in that illusion. She was comfortable. Hosyu would just have to stop her.

And pray to God he got to Central 46 before she did.

My breathing was heavy now. I knew it was smart to wait, but I couldn't.

That technique I had used had drained me. I was better, but not at one hundred percent.

But that was just fine. I needed to take action. Reizo was close.

And there I was.

Central 46.

They knew everything. They controlled everything.

They withheld information if necessary.

I unsheathed my sword, compressing my lips. I was crazy if I was really about to do this. But it had to be done. I had always known Central 46 had the most power in Seireitei. I had always known they could withhold things if they thought it was for the 'greater good.'

And I had always known, deep down, that Reizo was connected to Central 46.

He was as dedicated as they come. He knew everything.

There had to be something here.

It doesn't feel right, Hazumi.

Kuria-Dei always tried to talk sense into me. Of course she understood how I felt about my brother; she was part of my soul. But that didn't mean she agreed. She wanted me to get on with my life. She wanted more for me.

I was fine where I was.

I'm sorry, but this is what I need.

This is what I needed all my adult life.

To find my brother. To put his soul at peace.

To rest this Goddamn confusion.

And I knew it was here.

I'll always disagree with you, it seems. But I'll never abandon you. You've had enough of that.

I didn't respond to that.

"I can't let you go in there, Hazumi."

I turned slowly, lifting my gaze to meet emerald.

Stiffening, "What are you going on about, Hosyu?"

He just stood there casually, arms crossed, leaning on his left leg, like always. But I could see the threat. He was serious. What was wrong? Why didn't he want me in there?

I scrunched my brows, black eyes squinting.

He just sighed, looking to the side. He seemed to be mulling something over. Then he looked back, and for the first time, I didn't recognize who was staring back at me. If I hadn't spent so many years with Hosyu, I would have never guessed that was my brother standing before me. His emerald eyes were stony, hard. His mouth was tipped into a deep frown. His whole demeanor had changed. I had never seen him so serious, so professional.

It made chills run up my spine, seeing him stare at me with those unfeeling eyes.

And he drew his sword.

"I won't allow you to go in there."

And he came at me.