Emmett was keeping his part of the bargain, not even thinking about it around Edward. Unfortunately, my part was to spill and soon. I didn't know how much time Emmett intended on giving me but I knew him, he was too impatient to let me have more than a week.
I contemplated it every time Edward and I were together that week. It would be so easy to just say it. I was too coward though and chickened every time. It seemed we were growing closer and I didn't want to ruin it. Like on Wednesday when we were hunting together, I decided I would actually hunt and he looked at me with horrified eyes when I was wrestling a lion.
"It's just.. I feel like I should be protecting you. I don't want you to get hurt." He had explained and I swear if I hadn't turned to go back home I would've kissed him.
Or on Thursday when he insisted on driving me home, just me and him. We sat in the car, in front of my cottage for three hours just talking.
"You seem to know a lot about my family, who we are, what we like but no one really knows that much about you. I suppose we know basic stuff; you like shopping, reading, animals. Your favourite class is gym and you like the color blue. But I don't really know too much more." He then began asking me a lot of different questions, giving me major déjà vu. I had to lie about some of them, my favourite book and my family but other than that I tried to be honest. When I was getting out of the car I decided to try and explain.
"Edward, I have to tell you something." I twisted back into my seat to face him and suddenly his hand was cupping my cheek and smiling my favourite smile, it made my heart melt. I blanked, told Edward good bye in a not-too-flirty way then went to sleep so I wouldn't think about it.
It was Friday, after school and the week was almost gone. I knew I didn't have much time and I was contemplating running away. I was sitting in the living room of my cottage when I heard some one coming. I waited until I could smell them, then got up and walked to the door.
"Hey Edward." I smiled. GAH, I hated myself so much for falling for him. But there was no denying it now, I was by far too deep.
"Brittany, I need to tell you something, but I don't know how you'll react." He was nervous and anxious, talking fast and looking like he should be sweating.
"Alright. I'm listening." I said cautiously.
"Well, I think I might be…" He struggled for the words.
"What is it Edward?" I asked concerned.
"Look, I like you a lot and I don't know how to put it. This is so weird for me and I haven't been in many relationships, well, actually only one, but see you came and for some reason I was pulled to you. Like something was tugging at me to be with you as long as I could. And I think I might be…" He said this all in one breathe then took a slow calming breathe, looked at me with the full force of his eyes and finished. "falling for you."
That took me a minute, I kept thinking that he wasn't actually falling for me but who he thought I was. It hurt a little bit but then I smiled. I could just be Brittany from now on and that way I could be with Edward. When he saw me smiled he smiled and took me in his arms, kissing me lightly.
"I think I might be falling for you too." I said biting my lip but smiling. This was good right?
"Why don't I finish up cleaning and you can wait for me at your house?" I asked him, making up an excuse to be alone for a minute.
"I'll be waiting." He said then took off. I squealed. Yeah, I actually squealed, then I realized Edward ad probably heard it, he did have amazingly good hearing…
Damn.
"What do you think Jakey? Am I doing the right thing?" I asked the dog on my way back into the living room.
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Shopping at 6? The note was taped to my door when I got out of the shower. It was signed by Alice and had an arrow pointing to the outfit that was on the hanger beside it. It wasn't that bad really, I mean I actually kind of liked it. There was black skinny jeans, a yellow t-shirt and a black vest on the hanger, I quickly changed then rushed to the main level.
I checked the dogs food and water to make sure they were full then put a fresh sheet of news paper out in case he had to pee. I hated doing that but I'd rather him pee on newspaper then put a doggy door in and have him run away.
"Bye Jakey!" I yelled then broke into a run as I hit the porch, I could get to the Cullen's house pretty fast if I ran. In just a few minutes I was jumping the river in the back of there property.
"Brittney!" Alice yelled from up stairs. Ah Alice, how hard it was to hang out with her ever since little incident with the name. There has been four times so far that she's brought it up. On Monday was the worst. After badgering me for acting so strangely afterwards I finally looked at her and said.
"Look Alice, it was a mistake, this Bella chick is dead and in the ground, why can't you guys just let go." It hurt her… a lot. I don't know what made me say it but I think it might have been the irritation. He tells me to leave and now they act as if I was the one who hurt them.
Then again Tuesday on our way home from school Alice and I were talking about our old schools.
"I think Forks will always be my favourite, it's where we met Bella." She said proudly. I tried to change the subject but she got suspicious and said.
"What is it with you and Bella. You never even met her and you seem to hate her! She was my best friend, she was never mean to anyone so why don't you just lay off." I ended up apologizing and saying that it wasn't that I didn't like her it was just that whenever people talked about her they seemed sad so I wanted to change the subject to something happier.
Of course when me and Emmett were hanging out that night he was joking around with me and Alice asked why we were so carefree together.
"She's like my lil sis." Emmett replied and Alice gasped, that's what he used to call me err… Bella?
Thursday morning I almost told her. We were in first period and talking about Jake. She told me it was going to be hard when he passed, she hated loosing people, then she started flat out sobbing. Yeah, crying, we had to excuse ourselves from class. When I asked what was wrong she said she missed Bella. It hurt me so much I was about to say it then the stupid bell rang and I lost my nerve.
"Brittney?" Alice waved her hand in front of my face.
"Oh sorry, I was… day dreaming." I lied. We were sitting on the couches now, watching the television. Nothing good was on but at least I was beside Edward. Alice was there too along with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper.
"So, do you play base ball?" Jasper asked as Rachel and Connor joined us in the living room.
"Yeah sure. Why?" I asked, I didn't really, but it couldn't be that hard, could it?
"Well, its supposed to be stormy tomorrow so we were going to go play. Thunder and showers." Jasper explained.
"Oh cool. I guess we're in." Connor had always loved sports.
Around five o'clock Alice and I went up to her room and started to get ourselves ready for shopping. It wasn't long before she was doing my hair and talking. We ended up joking around and laughing about people in our school. Alice ended up getting Josh and Lauren together, and apparently there doing well, so far.
"So, you and my brother?" She asked.
"Well, sort of I guess. I mean he never asked me out or anything but he said that he was falling for me." I smiled a bit and bit my lip.
"Oh, he'll ask you out, don't worry about that." She giggled. "He really likes you. Now, all he has to do is get over…" She stopped before finishing her sentence. "There all done your hair." She said after a minute of silence.
"Yeah it's pretty." I said running my fingers through it. "So, Alice?" I started nervously. Lowering my voice so she wouldn't hear me.
"Yeah?" She whispered as well.
"Is he really still in love with… her?" I asked. Alice was silent for a minute then turned her back.
"I don't know." She lied then changed the subject. "It's five thirty, do you want to go downstairs and eat something before we leave?" She asked, I nodded and headed down the stairs without her.
"Hey Brittney." Edward greeted, taking my hand when I got to the end of the stairs. He kissed me lightly and that made me feel even more guilty for lying to him in the first place. I looked down at my shoes but Edward lifted my chin with one finger.
"What's wrong?" He asked curiously. I shook my head then headed for the couch, pulling Edward along behind me. I stayed silent for a long time but I could feel his eyes on me, I could feel a lot of eyes on me. I concentrated on what I should say, if I say anything. I could leave but no doubt Emmett would tell them as soon as I left. My train of thought was broken when Alice came down the stairs.
"Ready to go?" She chirped, checking for her keys in her purse. She walked up to Jasper to say good bye.I groaned and leaned into Edward further. He chuckled and pulled me into a hug.
"I don't want to go shopping." I mumbled getting up and putting on my best pout.
"Brittney doesn't want to go shopping?" Alice gasped.
"I hate shopping." I told her, she stared at me curiously.
"No you don't." She gave me a funny look and Emmett got up and said.
"Hmmm, I'm hungry. Going hunting, bye!" He yelled then ran out of there as fast as he could.
"Yes, I really do hate shopping. Do you know what else I hate? Gym class. Yeah, I think its dumb, pointless and is only out to get me!" They were all looking at me funny but I went on. "Yeah and I also can't keep an animal alive for more then twenty four hours, I'm surprised Jake hasn't run away yet. I killed three goldfish in a row!" I was getting quite upset and had ended up backing my way to the wall so I could say this to all of there faces.
"Brittney, what's going on?" Edward asked. A tear slipped out of my eye and ran down my cheek.
"I also hate getting dressed up or having people do my hair or make up. Every time you dressed me up Alice I was internally groaning! I would much rather spend my day reading then shopping and I see no point in getting dressed up for school. It's not a runway! You go and you leave, you have to sit all day so you might as well be comfortable and guess what else Alice!" I looked over to her, the tear were coming more frequently and I was shouting. "Clothes are reusable. Yeah, you can use a pair of jeans more than once, they might be disposable to you but the children in Africa don't think so."
"Why are you saying this? You always said the opposite before." Alice said weakly.
"Yeah, well, I lied. I lied about a lot of things because I didn't want you to figure out the truth. We all lie sometimes don't we Edward?" I looked over at him. He seemed confused. "Tell someone you don't love them anymore then they find out from your brother you still do." He looked shocked, everyone did. "Do you know what else I lied about?" I whispered. "I told you I was falling for you. That's not true." I shook my head wiping away the tears. "I've already fallen. I'm in deep. I have been in love with Edward since I first saw him in the cafeteria at Forks High School in 2006."
"Brittney? What are you saying?" Rachel asked.
"My names not Brittney. It's Bella. Bella Marie Swan."
GAH!!! YEPP she told them. Anyway, i love all of your reviews, they inspire me! I'll post more soon.