50 Things I will Not do in the Naruto World

Number7

I will not bother Gaara when he's angry

Gaara was feeling angry today; angry for no apparent reason. He would kill the first person he saw, he thought to himself. He violently slammed the door and sauntered outside.

Everyone could sense the angry aura omitting from the young Kazekage and no one was dumb enough to—

"HEY GAARA!", Temari yelled.

Gaara thought for a minute. She was his older sister after all, and it would seem bad if the Kazekage killed his own sister. But then again, when did he ever care for his siblings, or anyone else for that matter. Just as he was about to strike—

"So then I was like 'No Way!'.And she was like 'Way!' and and—KYAAAA THERE HE IS!!!!" she yelled, running off into the distance.

Gaara was confused. Since when did his sister act like that? He shook his head and walked on. He saw Kankuro. Again, he had his doubts, but his lack of caring drove him on. He wrapped his sand around his older brother's legs---

He wheeled around."Hey! What did I ever do to y—Oh wait…is this about Mr. Fluffikens?" He said mockingly.

Gaara stopped.

Kankuro replied, "Well Gaara, as Kazekage it's just not professional to still have a stuffed bear. And I thought Crow needed it more than you did…" his voice faded out as thoughts ran through Gaara's head. So THAT'S what happened to him. Like I care, I don't need a teddy bear anymore. Those are for weaklings. Weaklings like Kankuro who play with barbies, Why should I care if he--. Wait.

"YOU LET YOUR PUPPET EAT MY MR FLUFFIKENS!?!?!?!?!?!" He yelled.

Everyone in the vicinity paused. Did the Kazekage just--? No, they must have misheard. Gaara by now had noticed the large crowd that had gathered and recollected himself. No, this is not how a Kazekage should behave. I'll just get him later. When there are no witnesses around. I'll get him, and his little doll too.

Over in the corner he saw a little girl. Why did she look so familiar? She reminded him of…..that person. The one he tried to reach out to. The one who's scream still rings in his head. He clutched his scar. His…emotions….he couldn't control them anymore. He was just about to lose complete control when a sandy haired young man walked out and took the young girl by the hand. They appeared to know each other. A brother perhaps. They took no notice to Gaara crouching in the dark. The boy, he was familiar too. He looked like…….Yashamaru.

Gaara desperately tried his best to stay under control. Shukaku was at the breaking point. In a heavy deep voice he breathed, "I will…..kill you…."

The girl heard him, she looked back. "Yah well. I'm gonna kill you too, Whatcha say to that Mister Sand Person!", She giggled. She smiled a smile that can only be smiled by someone of a pure heart.

Gaara broke. He ran. He ran as far as he could. As far as he could get away from these people. These people who brought back unwanted memories.

He came to a halt in the middle of a dark forest. He caught his breath; tried to clear his mind. As he sat upon the ground a young man walked up behind him.

"Whatcha doing,?" he sang.

Gaara jumped back; caught by surprise.

"Oooooh I scared you", he gave an odd smile. It seemed almost insincere.

"Who are you?" Gaara asked wary of this suspicious person he couldn't sense.

"Hn?ahh My name's Sai. It's a pleasure to meet you" he said giving yet another insincere smile. Gaara didn't like that smile.

"I'm going to kill you", he said threateningly.

"Hmmm…yeah….that's not going to work for me…can we reschedule?"

Garra raised a hand and nicked his arm. Sai glanced at his now bleeding arm and suddenly tensed. "Well, BRING IT ON OLD MAN!!!!"

Gaara began to get serious. He braced himself for a counterattack when a suddenly a blur dashed past and whisked away the strange boy.

He looked around his surroundings. He seemed to be around Konoha. He hadn't visited since the chuunin exams. He wondered how everyone was doing.

It wasn't hard to bypass security. He was Kazekage after all.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAIT'S KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh great fangirls, he thought. So I even have fangirls in Konoha. Interesting. Then he had an idea, if he killed a fangirl, no one would really care. They are annoying after all. Its self defense, he justified.

A fangirl with red hair ran up to him. It seemed dyed. She had buttons plastered all over herself and was wearing a strange white shirt with a picture of him….from the chunnin exams? How did she get that? The painting looked real. What strange jutsu did she use?

He was so immersed in his own thoughts, he heard nothing of what she was saying, all he could catch was the word 'marry'. He didn't notice another had grabbed his arm as well. Were those his old clothes? No, but similer. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. He managed to shake her off and at a safe distance he said, "I'm going to kill you" He expected her to cry, he expected her to plead with him for her measly little fangirly-life, what he didn't expect was—

"KYAAAAAAAAA OF COURSE ILL DIE BY THE HANDS OF YOU KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!!! I'VE DREAMED IT THOUSANDS OF TIMES!!!!!!!!! NOW MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!" and the other, "NO! WHY HER!?!?!?! PICK ME KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He was annoyed. After all the commotion they just caused, everyone was going to know he tried to kill someone from Konoha. That'll ruin the treaty Suna made with them and things will be chaos. Not that he didn't like chaos. He loved it. But as Kazekage, he'd have to be the one to sort it out. Disgusted, he turned and walked right into—

"YOU!" they both yelled at the same time.

By now the fangirls were long gone. They yelled something about him being so 'cruel' and ran off in tears.

He studied his new opponent. What was his name again…..Uchiha Sasuke…?

He smiled. Finally a worthy opponent. Sasuke must have been thinking something along the same lines since he too smiled. Wordlessly, they understood the other wanted a fight. Since Gaara was the challenger, Sasuke had the first move.

Gaara sneered, "Prepare to die."

Sasuke smirked his reply, "You wish. I know your one and only weakness."

Gaara was intrigued. Sasuke smirked again. "DIE!!!!!!!", he yelled squirting him with a watergun.

Gaara watched as the water slicked off. Sasuke blinked. "Oh wait…sorry I thought you were one of those aliens……."

Gaara sweatdropped. In the distance he heard, "OI! Sasuke-teme! Tsunade Baa-chan says to take your medicine!!!!" then, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!" Sasuke ran off rubbing a dead weasel that came out of nowhere. So that's how he really acts, Garra thought. Itachi must have done some serious damage to his mind. Poor kid. Gaara felt sorry for him, then got angry because he didn't like sympathy.

A large figure came out of the woods. He was wearing a black cloak with red clouds all over. He had an orange mask on.

Surprisingly, the man ran up to Gaara saying, "HI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!!!"

Gaara presumed that was his name. Tobi. He seemed odd….Again, he felt sympathy. Then a sudden surge of hatred. "I will kill you"

Tobi must have thought he was playing a game or something. He yelled "Yeah, well! I CAN KILL MYSELF FASTER THAN YOU CAN!!" and killed himself.

He walked on. He passed the main gate, and came to, it seemed, an even larger gate. It had the words, 'Hyuuga clan' engraved on it. He decided he may as well try his luck here. There was someone coming out of the mansion. She stopped in front on Gaara.

"uh…u..um….o h-h-hayo…Ga- I mean-K-KK-Kazekage-sama!" She stuttered nervously.

"I'm going to kill you" he said emotionlessly.

"oh..o-oo-okay…t-th-then I g-guess I b-better reschedule that d-date with K-Kankuro-san.."

Garra blinked. What? This girl going out with Kankuro? What's going on here? Another figure came out of the gate.

"ah! O-o-onii-san! Ohayo" Hinata stuttered again looking at the ground.

"Ohayo Hinata-sama" Neji said. He didn't happen to notice Gaara until just now.

"Don't tell me you have a date with Temari, I'll kill you" Gaara said threateningly.

"I know you are but what am I?!"

"ano….Nii-chan……that made no sense….." Hinata whispered

"Ha. I learned that today. Gai-sensei will be proud! Then I'll finally get more attention than his little mini-me Lee!!! HAHAHAHA" Neji laughed.

Gaara coughed.

Neji continued, "hnnn….I'm sensing a lack of self-confidence….do you hate your father..?"

"My father is dead" Garra said tonelessly

Hinata gasped, "Oh! I-I'm ss-so sorr-y"

Neji, not paying any attention, persisted, "…and that is why because of fate, you will never defeat me."

Garra had walked away after 'and'. That conversation was boring him. He looked around. Training grounds? Ah yes. They modeled the one in Suna after this. He heard the sound of a tree truck cracking. Amidst a pile of fallen bark lay a certain green jumpsuit wearing ninja. He noticed Gaara coming.

"Ah Gaara-kun! It's so nice to see you! What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to kill you" He replied.

"eh?"

"I'm going to kill you" Gaara repeated

"Aha! Ok,ok, you got me! I've been punk'd right? Hi Gai-sensei! I'm on T.V.!!!!!" Lee squealed enthusiastically.

While Lee was in the middle of thanking Suna, Gai-Sensei, the producers, Gai-sensei, Gaara, and Gai-sensei. Gaara left. He didn't really want to kill Lee anyway, his smile brightens anyone's day. Gaara himself almost smiled, but caught himself. He seemed to be in front of the ninja academy. Leaning against the tree looking much calmer than earlier, was, Uchiha Sasuke. Gaara decided he might as well finish his match, and now that Sasuke had calmed down and came to his senses it would be more fun.

"I'm going to kill you", Gaara said.

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before! Get in line, Mister! Itachi called first dibs." Sasuke said angrily.

"Now now, Sasuke-kun, the doctor said not to get to excited" a certain pink-haired kunoichi scolded, smiling. She slipped some purple liquid into his hot chocolate.

Gaara had been confused before. He had been confused so many times today, but none of them were compared to the confusion he felt right now. I mean, who drinks hot-chocolate in the summer? Oh wait- -His thoughts were interrupted as that sweet innocent little kunoichi socked him across his face yelling "BEAT IT!!!!!!!!!"

He landed in the water near a bridge. As he started to pull himself out of the water, he noticed a hand reaching out to help him. It was Naruto-kun.

"ah….." was all Gaara could say as Naruto helped him out of the water.

Naruto smiled his trademark smile. "Gaara! So what are you doing here?"

Gaara mumbled .

"Huh what was that? I can't hear you"

Gaara mumbled some more.

"WAFFLES!! Oh sorry…I got bored….What were you saying again?"

By this time Naruto was getting on his last nerve, just as he was about to—

"Yeah, Well I got to go Gaara. Shikamaru has a date with Temari and asked for directions—oh wait! Hey! Shikamaru can just go home with you! Hold on a sec I'll get him!" Naruto ran off.

Gaara had just started thinking of all the cruel things he'll do to him when Shikamaru appeared.

"Thanks Gaara, It would've been a pain to go get those directions. If I didn't show up on time, Temari would, Well you know. It'd just be troublesome." Shikamaru ranted.

Gaara said-- (A/n do I even need to say it? Well, I guess I will for the sake of the people not paying any attention) nothing as he silently walked toward Shikamaru (A/n haha! Fooled you!XD)

Shikamaru was nervous. He didn't like that look in Gaara's eyes.

" Um….uh…err..I'm not here right now…please leave a message after the beep….BEEEP", He yelled running toward Suna.

Gaara smiled, at least he'll be able to kill someone today.

XD over 2000 words!!!!!!!!!!!!! My longest story yet. I was experimenting with styles; tell me which you prefer, this or the other one. Yes I know, this one wasn't funny. I promise the next one will be like my others.

this story is based on 15 things to say to gaara when he's about to kill you, m sorry i don't remember your name but credit goes to you!