hey guys :) this is the new chapter,hope you enjoy it!
ps: the song used is Andrew Belle- Make it without you :)
CHAPTER 7
Arizona was walking upstairs trying to find answers to all the questions that were currently making her mind spin ,she tried the first door on the left and discovered the twins' bedroom, a light blue color painted on the walls, the same as the one she had convinced Callie to use all those years ago for their apartment, but Callie hated pastel, didn't she? Smiling to herself, she closed the door and heard the soft tunes of a vaguely familiar song, she couldn't put her finger on it, but rhythm reminded her of the woman she loved, though she had never truly listened to the lyrics before:
"This is the starting of my greatest fear
I'm all packed up, getting out of here
But then you call and tell me not to go
That I'm the one who put the rock n toll
In your life"
Taking slow steps towards the sounds, she whipped her eyes off and carefully steadied her breath, she had to look somewhat presentable, she didn't want Callie to see the giant wreck she had become. Pushing the door open she was hit with another wave of meaningful words, "the damn Universe is having a laugh at us" ,she bitterly thought as she saw the brunette curled up in bed with her back at her, sobbing lightly
"Oh I'll
Make it without you
Make it without you
Though my body's laying here
It's my mouth that must be lying now…"
As the words continued to torment her soul, she decided it was time to act, the "now or never" cliché had never been more suited for a situation before. The blonde silently got on the bed and placed her body as close as she could to Callie's , without touching her, the woman's sobs suddenly coming to a stop.
Callie Torres was listening to, what she reckoned to be, the saddest song in this entire Universe, before she felt the much dreaded presence in her bedroom. She didn't know how to act ,what to say, so her self preservation instinct told her to stay still, maybe Arizona would change her mind, maybe this was just a beautifully painful dream, maybe she could "Make it without you…" after all.
But the presence didn't go away ,No ,she got impossibly close ,her hot breath tickling the back of her neck making her take in a sharp breath, the pain she had been experiencing had vanished ,a warm feeling spreading throughout her entire body. She was suddenly awake, suddenly alive and she had lost hope a long time ago that she'd be feeling like this again. Ever since that kiss at Joe's, ever since she saw that dimpled smile and locked eyes with those impossibly blue orbs, Callie had somehow connected with Arizona, they were in tune with each other, and it was visceral…even after 10 years, she melted.
"Hey, beautiful girl" Arizona spoke first. "What's with the Sad FM?"
"I don't know…but they kinda nailed it"
"This is the starting of my fall from grace
My self esteem, oh it's seen better days
But you know I'll never let this go to waste
I'll keep this memory on the map I trace
Back to home"
"That they did…" the blonde acknowledged stalling the conversation, she was hurt, but she didn't want to fight. She had made choices throughout the years and this was the result, this relationship, but what she wanted was to understand Callie's actions, but most importantly to understand herself in the end.
"Congratulations for the Award, you deserved it" Callie's voice broke the silence.
"Yeah…I don't know what I Actually did to deserve it" Arizona sincerely answered as she had no memory whatsoever of her surgical feats that led to the recognition of her efforts.
"Yes you do" the brunette growled clearly annoyed.
"Callie…" she tried.
"No. You don't get to come here and tone things down. You won a Harper Avery for God's sake, it's a huge deal, Arizona. You worked your ass off, you saved a lot of kids and finally got the recognition. I am so proud of you!"
Callie rambled, not being able to see Arizona's surprised expression.
"You've changed" that's all she could muster up.
"What?" a confused brunette finally turned around, their faces only 5 inches apart, but neither of them attempting to move, this familiar positioning bringing back dear memories.
"I said that you've changed. I was expecting a lecture about…me walking away and sacrificing family. I actually wanted to hear you say those things, because call me crazy, I don't want that award if that means I can't have…"
"Stop…Arizona, just stop! I can't do this" Callie begged, her ex-wife's words cutting deep into her soul.
"Just…hear me out. I don't want anything from you, just let me explain. These past 24 hours, and believe me you'd check me into the pshych ward if I told you all of the things I happened to experience in this short amount of time, have shown me that I made a mistake, for myself, that is."
"What are you saying?"
"Calliope, are you happy?" Arizona asked noticing the other woman flinching after hearing her choice of words.
"I…yes, I am happy"
"Do you love Erica?" Arizona pressed on.
"Yes, I do…she's a great woman, she is great with Sophia and the twins."
"Why does Sophia call her mother?" the blonde suddenly remembered the disturbing scene which had taken place in the kitchen only a few minutes prior to their conversation.
"Arizona, you have to understand…"
"And why doesn't she know who I am? She just called me your friend from your residency years after…hold on a minute" the blonde stretched her body and opened the nightstand drawer pulling out a worn out photo of her and Callie. "after telling me she saw you looking at this" she said as she placed the photo on Callie's chest. "Care to explain?"
Too stunned to speak ,Callie abruptly grabbed Arizona's collar and placed a fiery kiss on her lips, before engulfing the shocked blonde in a bone crushing hug.
"You listen to me, Arizona Robbins! You were…are the love of my life, when you left I waited for you, for years, but I had to move on , I had to give up that part of my life because Sophia deserved happiness, I deserved happiness. She was 3 when you left and Erica reentered my life, at first she was my best friend, helped me with Soph and held me on those dark nights when I woke up screaming your name,YOUR NAME... and eventually, after some time, we both decided to be day, when Soph was about 5, she started to call her mother…she cried from happiness, Arizona, Erica cried. What was I supposed to say? Stop calling her that? Your real mother left for Africa and dumped us and didn't give a shit?! It wasn't fair to either of us!" Callie screamed, tears streaming down her face.
"So I decided nature to take its course, I never lied to Sophia, you were always present in my stories,as was Mark, so she made that assumption…"
"I know but…" Arizona tried.
"It hurts? I know…just imagine how I felt when you cheated on me then proceeded to leave both Sophia and me. Imagine how I felt when I had to beg Teddy to give me information about you, how I felt when I had to give Teddy the divorce papers because you were nowhere to be found. Just…imagine that pain and then you can talk about yours"
"I am so sorry, Calliope…so deeply sorry, but maybe it was for the best" Arizona said, her head starting to pound, a familiar vertigo feeling making its appearance.
"For the best? Me believing for years I wasn't good enough to make you stay ?That our daughter meant nothing to you? Ha…that's the sickest joke I've ever heard!" Callie spat furiously.
"Just think of it this way…you god rid of the pain, both of you…and now you can be happy, you can make it without me" Arizona whispered, her world blacking out as she felt her brother's arm around her shoulders. The last thing she saw was the beautiful tear stained face of the woman she loved…
"Oh I'll
Make it without you
In my life
Oh I'll make it without you
Though my body's laying here
It's my mouth that must be lying now
It's my mouth that must be lying now"
Chapter 8- Preview
Arizona woke up yet again feeling confused as her head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. She haphazardly trashed around the bed attempting to get up as quickly as possible. Finding a mirror, she closely watched her face exhaling softly at the sight…she was her younger self again, barring the fact that she was currently sporting a rather short haircut that made her hair more curly…"hm…must of forgot I got it cut" she thought to herself as she went into the bathroom. Hearing the shower on a mischievous idea popped into her head, she'd bet Callie would love the morning wake up call…but as she was undressing herself, a vaguely familiar voice startled her.
"Honey, as much as I'd love you here with me, we've got a plane to catch"
"LAUREN?!" Arizona screamed bolting out of the bathroom finding a highly amused Tim perched on her bed.
"Ready for round two, kid?" he smiled rather pleased with himself.