Authors' note: I finally had some ideas about the dynamic between those two. Next chapter The dream! And we meet Kylo again :D Beta tested now! All comments and feedback are welcome, it makes me happy to know people are reading my story, when I read your comments :)
Rey's hands were still shaking as Luke returned from meeting with Chewie. She had followed him silently to the other side of the island, to a crumbling stone cottage where he left her sitting by a fire. She had waited patiently since, a million questions swarming her mind. What had she done to that grass?
As the two approached she noticed a difference in the old Jedi's appearance. His eyes had sunken further, the lines of his face carved in, his shoulders slumped. Chewie had told him.
The wookie lifted her in a hug as he bid her a sudden goodbye. He had no more business here, he said, he was leaving her in Luke's hands. The Jedi replied before Rey could react.
" Take her with you Chewie, she doesn't belong here, she is too unstable." He turned to her "Forget the force girl. Go and live your life."
Chewie roared in indignation as Rey closed her fists and demanded " You said we would talk, I want to talk, now."
Luke only looked up at his old friend, ignoring her again.
Chewie became angry and demanded why. He went on saying all those nice things about Rey, which made her warm inside, and implored Luke in his own way to at least help her since he refused to help the rest of them.
But Luke was adamant and simply patted his friend's furry arm as he retreated inside the hut.
Thus Rey and Chewie parted, the wookie taking the Falcon and promising to return in a month to check up on her since Rey was as determined to be staying here as Luke was to push her away. She didn't have much choice. There weren't a whole lot of force sensitive creatures left in the universe and she only knew this one, possibly the strongest one to ever grace the galaxy. She had also been shaken after what had happened on the hill. She was scared now, and desperately needed answers.
He had wanted to talk to her after the incident; surely she could convince him again. He would soon discover that Rey the scavenger didn't give up, she could survive anything: the lack of amenities, food, even loneliness.
After Chewie left, Rey began a strange new routine, setting her goal on convincing the Jedi to train her. She didn't want to snoop around too much but she had no choice but to observe Luke as he accomplished his everyday tasks. She needed to find out about him, about his reason to stay here. And answers she found the next week, in the early hours, hoping to go unnoticed when he hurried inside the cave next to the hut. Rey had not been sleeping though and followed his every step, trying to be quiet but certain he knew she was there. They walked through a lush underwater tunnel, emerging magically through a cavern on what looked like a different island. Rey was taken aback by the wild beauty of it, as they were climbing on muddy winding pathways. Then her gaze fell upon something around the next corner. The structure was well hidden in an alcove, the rocky island embracing it on three sides, the last one opening up to the ocean floor. That's why she hadn't noticed it from above! It was a crumbling ruin now but it must have been spectacular millennia ago. Soft curved walls and wooden squared gateways were dipped in the most transparent water Rey had ever seen. Numerous stairways led to nowhere but the abyss of turquoise. It was a crystalline vision of monumental proportions. Wood water and stone intertwined in such harmony it made her heart swell. It wasn't only the discovery of such an incredible hidden secret that made the tips of her fingers tingle, though the place called to her, but an encompassing feeling of belonging as they entered. Luke continued with his silent treatment but she didn't mind him, this place...it meant something, it was connected to the force. There wasn't much to see inside unfortunately since the water had eaten away room divisions and furniture. Everything in the complex but the walls must have been wooden since she found some rotting pieces here and there. She wondered what the old Jedi could seek in such an abandoned ruin. They ventured in further, and she realised that the structure must go deep inside the hill, as Luke did something with the force and a passageway caved in. They climbed up some well preserved stairs coming into a light flooded hall. There was no decay here, but brightly lit gigantic rows of... There were so many, so many of them! Cut-out windows in the rock walls drew light shapes over the shelves. Rey was itching to touch them but was scared the age-old objects would crumble to ash. This was the first time she had seen so many in once place… Was her tiny collection on Jakku still where she left it? Luke proceeded to a far corner picking one up; he seemed to know the place by heart.
And no wonder, Rey imagined this room must have kept him occupied through all his years in exile. There must be something that he needed here, in this strange library. He was already leaving as she quickly snatched a volume in what she hoped was basic script and hurried behind him.
Later on while Luke was preparing some fish outside, she had holed up in the cavern and started reading intently. She should have though twice on her choice of literature as she tried to practice what she read in that first book. It had been basic indeed. Her delight at the discovery, that the volume contained detailed descriptions of force manipulation techniques, was thrilling.
The technique described said to channel the force and shape it into a bright light, a lighting of sorts. She tried to picture it again. The force. The imaginary tunnel in her moved the energy through sunbathed fields but it went on and on and she couldn't stop it, it led her further in reaching a dark dead end. The familiar rage and despair closed in around her like pure gravity. She couldn't breathe, her throat was in a knot, she had to push it away; she pushed with all she had. The light faded.
She woke curled up, staring at the fire. It was dark. What happened? Her hands were hurting like hell. Her stomach was growling, when was the last time she ate? She shrugged off the thin blanket covering her as she heard a familiar deep voice:
" Were you trying to kill yourself or attempting to destroy me?"
Rey was so startled to hear another's speech again that she clutched the blanket. Ugh!
She stifled her grunt at the feeling of charred skin. It still wasn't as bad as the time that shield field exploded as she pulled it out of a ship carcass. That thought didn't lessen the pain.
" This is what happens when you attempt things you know nothing about. What you did was ridiculously dangerous, not only you could have torn your hands off but you could have aimed it at me and burn the whole hill! Chewie wasn't joking; you are a stubborn one...reckless and stubborn. Maybe that's why he and Han took to you." The Jedi trailed off as he threw her a small pot that she gingerly caught.
Rey proceeded by applying the salve as she retorted angrily "Maybe if you taught me how to do it, this wouldn't have happened! Please Luke, I know you are waiting for me to give up and leave, but I won't. I will stay until you teach me, until you show me the proper way. I don't know how to do it, every time I concentrate this dark tunnel pulls me in until there is nothing else. I don't want.. I don't want to end up like him...like your nephew."
Frustration was welling up in her and she felt the force stirring again, but refused to let it take over. Luke was silent, staring at the fire digesting her words, tasting the bitterness in them.
" Chewie told me you have met him. Ben. Or at least that was how we called him before. But how you defeated him or thought you did, girl, is not the right way. As I said the first time, the force corrupts; the more you posses of it, the stronger the pull to the dark is. The anger in you, the force you have is too much, I can feel it, and it has already rendered you untreatable. He was much younger when I lost him to the dark, what makes you think you will fare better?" he studied her thoroughly with his fire lit eyes but continued " Yet, the fact remains you are still here, you haven't succumbed yet, if you don't seek it, if you stop using it, you may go on with your life and maybe even have a happy one. Look at me, at Leia, at Ben and even Vader...is that the kind of life you want girl? Once upon a time I had no choice, now I am giving you one. Choose!"
Rey thought for a moment, but she knew, this quest, all she had been through to get here must be for a reason. " I choose the force. Now that I have it, it is a part of me. I never had anything of mine, I was a no-one. I know I am too old and untrained and maybe the darkness will take over and I may die, but I can promise you I will fight it until my last breath. And my name is Rey, Jedi Skywalker"
Luke sighted "Fine then, Rey. From now on you are my last padawan. And I will be your master, call me master Luke. I will train you to the best of my knowledge in the Jedi arts. Do not expect much in terms of ever becoming one, yet I will not let you fall into the darkness."
He looked hopeless at those last words, but she would make him care, she would make him believe in her, she would.
Easier said than done, Rey remembered. The mythical warrior had turned into a reclusive hermit that wanted nothing to do with the rest of humanity, lest of all go back to reality, back to teaching. He had blocked himself off from the force having left his old life. He was a broken man, his past crushing him, blaming himself for the turning of his nephew, the transformation of Ben Solo to Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer.
In the following days Luke had decided to share a recounting of that dreadful night.
He had told her how Ben had been awakening the darkness in himself for some time and Luke had tried to talk to him one night but Ben had collapsed a building on him and before Luke had come to his senses his academy was burning. A few of the students had left with Ben, and the rest a dozen or so had perished.
She couldn't wrap her mind about it, what kind of family, what kind of nephew would do this. Abandoning them, hurting them again and again. What he did to Luke ...to those children...she had to hold herself close as to not lose her sanity. And her...believing there was something in him maybe, that he might care. She struggled day and night with those thoughts. She couldn't keep them away anymore. She was going over every memory of him during the endless hours spent on the desolate island.
The island- it had been beautiful, almost like in her dream, the quiet ocean kissing the curvy pieces of earth protruding from its bosom. It rained a lot on Ahch-To...and few things could compare to water falling from the sky, to those moments in Rey's limited experience of the world. This water giving life to the planet, it was giving life to her, so wet and abundant, so exquisite, like a gift from the stars. The planet was infinitely silent though, the only two inhabitants barely exchanging a word outside of training. She was well used to the silence, the empty desert her only eternal companion. Now it was simply replaced by Ahch-To's vast green oceans. She couldn't get rid of the feeling of having been here before. Maybe it came from her dreams where she sailed with her imaginary mother and father over silent waters. When darkness crept she would sit down on the high cliff closing her eyes, listening to the splashing waves and wishing she had someone to share those moments with.
Her new master had accommodated her in one of the stone huts built by who knows who aeons ago. It was small and had no furniture but some rugs and scraps along with the rations and tools she bought with her. It was perfect in Rey's eyes, this much space just for her, with her tools she could tinker something and maybe use some books she could borrow from the temple. A splitting smile had dawned on her face then.
The awaited training began after she finally managed to get some guidance for her newfound powers. It was hard to convince Master Luke to look into her mind; he had considered her with heavy doubt at every step. He hadn't trusted her then and he still didn't, she was sure. He never voiced it out loud since the first time he told her about her power. There was no need and maybe it was better that way. His doubts would only be confirmed if he knew what she had done for his nephew.. He didn't speak much as it was during the next weeks, apart from the occasional mystical rhymes in reverse that she never quite understood.
'' Put your trust in the force you will'' or ''Eradicate all emotions you shall.'' Where had he learnt these phrases from?
It wasn't the training she imagined either. She had trained on Starship Graveyard, taught herself with her makeshift staff, away from prying scavengers and Unkar Plutt's thugs. She had learnt from early age, quickly realising defending herself against the merciless residents and visitors was the only way of survival. Before she had become efficient enough though, more often than she liked to remember, she had suffered from her weakness. On Jakku, fighting held no rules, no codes of honour. Countless times she was almost killed, kidnapped, sold as a slave, violated. And that only from the living threats, nature was even more unforgiving for a scavenger. You either survived or you perished.
Jedi training was nothing but pure routine though and Rey found herself completely unprepared. Every morning, Master Luke, as he insisted she address him, would rouse her and rush her through breakfast. Then he would make his new padawan meditate for hours while she was practicing basic levitation and manipulation exercises. All of these mental tasks went on until utter exhaustion. They ate grilled fish around the small fire at night, her fidgeting with something to say, him stoic as a temple stone. She still had so many questions about the force that he kept evading. The control of the force was the most important thing in his view. Learning the force in all its details, the light of it, the peace of it, how it fit in the universe, this was the essential. Strong emotions were a disturbance. Their fighting training was rare and kept to minimal, whenever it happened they worked on purely defensive techniques. Rey realized he didn't show her anything dangerous on purpose. Not only because he didn't trust her but because of something he admitted once:
'' The force has never brought anything but misery to my family, padawan... Its purpose is to bring balance and goodness but it contains in itself the power to corrupt. Human emotions are the cause. The one seeking this power and strength to defeat its enemies will eventually get corrupted. And I won't let this happen to you. Not to you. I have seen this untamed force only once before it didn't frighten me enough then, it does now''
A month passed by like this. Meditating and manipulating the force, learning how to defend herself, how to control the urge, control her emotions. It was good, she felt more in control of the force than in the start; there was no more accidental scorching of the surroundings. Despite that, late at night, when her master was asleep, she would sneak to the bottom of the island. She would read about fighting techniques and try them out with the practice saber. She was too scared to use the one she returned, Darth Vader's. She wasn't sure if he knew or not, he always seemed to know it all, studying her often with his keen blue eyes.. She had been getting some of those books from the forbidden temple. The Temple is sacred, he had preached, only trained Jedi can access it and its knowledge, it is forbidden to a padawan like yourself.
It was cute he thought his words would stop a seasoned scrap picker like Rey. Her innate curiosity was much too strong. Every time she would ask him why they never fought, why she couldn't visit the Temple, he would shake his head, bring up her impatience and ignore her. But Rey just couldn't take it anymore. She felt left out, empty. This rudimentary knowledge was not enough for her. She needed to know not only how to defend herself, but also how to fight when the need arose, to protect her friends...This power was given to her by the stars, and there had to be a reason why. She had to explore the utility of this force, like a motor that had to be pushed to test its limit, she couldn't let it sleep inside her, she had to find it a good use.
It had seemed so pointless at that point, as if Luke didn't know what to make of her but to keep her meditating and flying things around. She had felt happy in the beginning, full of expectations, only to be treated like a child being pushed in learning on her own again. She had wondered often why she had stayed. Probably because this reclusive, mistrusting man, the last Jedi, this hero who had once brought down the Empire, who had killed the evil Darth Vader, was the only one who could instruct her. Because sometimes she would look at the lines around his mouth and be reminded that he once must have been a happier man.
She was so terrified of the force though. The more she read about it, the more she was scared of its potential and what it meant for her, so scared of misusing it. It made her so lonely. Rey needed trust, guidance, explanation, company, and she probably must have been seeking another father figure, she thought bitterly. But those were wishful fantasies. Luke didn't trust her, he only feared her. Few had believed in her throughout her life and with those powers even fewer would. People feared what they knew not, that which was different, stronger than them. It must be meant for Rey to be an outsider. Neglected and left aside, scavenging for bits and pieces of affection wherever she could find them. Maybe that was why her family had left her...because of that power. Even her only fellow force user, her teacher, couldn't be bothered to care about her. She felt abandoned.
She would have left then and maybe never see him again. She had been ready to leave with Chewie once he returned, disregarding her futile training, join the Resistance efforts as a pilot like Poe. She would have rather spent her time among the Resistance with Chewbacca and Finn and Poe, and even Leia. But there were those moments when her loneliness subsided, when she found herself. She never wanted them to stop even if it meant staying. Those moments, in her dreams and the bond.