We lie there in silence for a while, watching the trees and grass melt away and flat land replace it. I eventually sit up, my head spinning. I look over at Dylan and smile. He has fallen asleep. He looks the same in sleep as he does waking. Determined. It's as if there is a place in sleep he so desperately wants to reach. I get up quietly and sneak to the end of the car, trying not to wake him. I face the back window, the world changing around me. I hug my knees, and watch. The sun has risen high now, the golden light developing to white. The land has changed from green to brown, with the occasional water dam. After about fifteen minutes, Dylan slides down beside me.
"I wonder what the Capitol will be like." He says after a while.
I continue gazing out the window.
"Well with the war, I expect it wouldn't be in the greatest shape." I reply.
"Well they won, didn't they? They would have fixed it up for the Games, especially with the whole country watching. Or being forced to watch, anyway."
Dylan sits so close to me, I can feel the heat radiating from him. I look at him finally, but he's gazing out the windows. The determined look that nearly always dominates his face is gone. He looks innocent and young, too young to be sent off to the slaughter.
He looks up and I quickly glance away. I can't do this, I can't become too attached. We may be allies, but who knows for how long? Dylan has a sort of confidence in himself that couldn't possibly be good in a situation like this.
I don't know what's going to happen in that arena, but there are two things I know for sure. One, I can trust Dylan, he grew up with the ways I did, and he's got an air of innocence around him. Two, I am going to survive for as long as I possibly can, even if I have to drag myself to walk. I will not give up. For Mags.
In that moment, I realize just how scared I am. It's natural to be scared in this circumstance of course, but fear has lodged itself in me, rooted itself tightly, and I don't think it's going to leave me until the last breath leaves my lungs. A lump forms in my throat.
I am not fearless, I am not brave. I am terrified.
I am just about to ask Dylan how he's feeling when we are plunged into darkness.
He gets up and runs to the side window. With fingers pressed to the glass, he gasps.
"We are nearly there I think! This is the tunnel!"
"The tunnel?"
"Yeah! The tunnel that leads to the Capitol!"
I get up and join him, but only see darkness. Suddenly we are bathed in bright sunlight, and I clamp my eyes shut, the light blinding. I open them again, squinting, and for the first time see the Capitol. The rail the train runs on is right alongside a dam of water that surrounds the majestic buildings of the Capitol. The buildings are endless, I've never seen something so big in my life. I hear Dylan gasp beside me, but I can only stare.
The sun has risen high now, and the light shines golden on the city and the mountains in the distance. It truly is beautiful, back to its glorious state so quickly after a terrible war. How many Capitol families will be still grieving, as I am? How many Capitol children will wander this earth alone, with no parents to guide them through this harsh suffering they call life?
I'm shaken from thoughts of the Capitol by Dylan, who takes my hand again. I flinch away, reminding myself of the circumstances of which we are here. His eyes flick from our now separate hands to my face.
"Nerida, we better go. They'll be looking for us."